₦airaland Forum

Na wa o, someone realises God has been watching him lying and toying with people's hearts and decides 2 turn a new leaf. C as u guys dey lambast him. E no easy mhen
El, u sef don dey commit e don tey, God will c u 2ru

Nice joke but e no complete

Lion anyday cos I get 2 b d king, I get 2 be feared, won't b eating no remnant and above all, needs not fear anybody/thing.
But to be honest o, I love being human o.....anyday, anytime

‎​Mr. Lal was having an early walk. He had just crossed a bridge when he saw a crowd of people. Rushing to them, he found that they were crowding around a dead woman. Lal was a famous detective. He took the case and started his investigation. The woman seemed to have come for an early walk, too. Seeing her handbag lying nearby, Lal ruffled through it and found what he wanted - her identity card. Her name was Lakshmi, and her house was about a ten minute drive away. Her number was also written on her card. Lal phoned the given number.
"Is this Lakshmi's residence?"
"Yes. And I am her husband. What do you want?"
"Sir, your wife is dead."
"What! No way!"
"Sir, come here quickly."
About ten minutes later, a car pulled up. The husband got down, and on seeing the woman, rushed to her and started crying. Lal was about to console him when something flashed in his mind. He quickly had the husband arrested.
Can U Tell Y?

Daniluv, u"r on point

1) The people who make it don't want it. The people who buy it don't use it. The people who use it don't know it. What is it?


2) There are many doors and you are standing in the center. Each door has lions in it who are hungry for more than 100 years. How will you go in the doors?

3) I am the begining of eternity and the end of time and space. I am the begining of every end and the end of every place. What am i?

4) Whats greater than God, more evil than the Devil, poor people have it, rich people don't need it, and if you eat too much of it you will die. What is it?

5) I am enjoyed by some, despised by others, and some abuse me. I am a sacrament, a gift. I am never-ending, yet at times some break me. What am I?

6) Four members of a band are walking to a night concert. They decide to take a shortcut, but must cross a bridge. Luckily they have one flashlight. Because of the varying size of their instruments, it takes each member a different amount of time to cross the bridge - it takes the first person one minute, the second person two minutes, the third person five minutes and the fourth person ten minutes. They must cross the bridge in pairs, travelling at the slower speed so if the one minute person went with the ten minute person, it would take a total of ten minutes. Since there is only one flashlight, one person must come back across the bridge, then another pair can cross. They only have 17 minutes to cross the bridge and still get to the concert on time. What order should they cross to get everyone across and get to the concert?

ans needed ASAP....

if i'd written it in kindergarten english, i'm sure it woulda bin so easy 4 u 2 grab.

wateva joo...it ain't compulsory 2 comment

‎​WAYS TO KNOW IF DEM DEY PURSUE YOU
FROM VILLAGE:
(1) If you are working in a company
for Over 10 years without promotion or raise in
salary,and u still remain there.
(2) When you fail
maths and English in WAEC for more than five
times,na Village attack
(3) If u slap a military m...an
in front of his Barracks and still wait ,na Village do
am.
(4) If your car Usually spends more time at
the mechanic Shop than on d road.
(5) When you
are posted to Maiduguri,Sokoto,Kanu,Jos for NYSC.
Village Ooo.
(6)You are a christian and disguise as
a Muslim in the midst of boko haram and
ur phone starts ringing with d tone 'Let somebody
shout halleluyah'! U Sef think am!
(7) If u are still an
Arsenal supporter after 7years of Trophy less
Season ! Village.
( If A world class photographer
takes a photo of u,and Edits it 20 times: and u still
look ugly: na Village Syndrome.
(9) When You get
signed as a defender for an European club and u
first task is to mark Lionel Messi Blame Village Ooo!

(10) When u beat Or Impregnate a military man's
only Child,and She eventually Die.
(11) When a rat
eats your name out of all your original documents.

(12)When Ur only child joins d Nigerian police force
Or Bcomes a Reverend Father!
(13) When you get
stuck in an elevator with a boko haram suicide
bomber. Dis One na Pure Village Pursuit.

(14) If u are a beautiful a Lady with enough ASSnal
& CHESTsea,But with a Bad Mouth Odour, na
Village Cause am too

There are Still Other Signs Ooo!! But Over dis One
First !!

Bin, read again
mcnepow, u'r sick

A wife arrived home and found her husband in bed with another woman.

With superhuman strength borne of fury, she dragged him out of the house, into the tool shed in their back yard and put his penis in a vice.

Securing it tightly and removing the handle of the vice, she then picked up a hacksaw.

Terrified, her husband screamed, "Stop! Please! You aren't going to cut it off, are you?"

Placing the saw in her husband's hand and with a gleam of revenge in her eye, the wife replied, "Of course not! I'm going to set fire to the shed. You do whatever you have to do!"

mikuz, was dat 4 me?

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Hot. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

Join The Army, visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable, like a coma

They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what? Who's in a hurry ?

I'm multi-talented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals.

I ran into my ex the other day, hit reverse, and ran into him again

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

My girlfriend asked me, "Do You believe in love at first sight"? I said, "At the first sight of what"?

I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.

I like you. People say I've no taste, but I like you.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

brb?

stale!!!
still cool though

u fit use rake chop indomie
u fit hawk cement inside traffic or u fit hawk salt inside rain
u do manicure for lion or u fit use snake knot tie

if i have ever learnt anything about u, its d fact dat its useless gettin mad at u, Its always been u not aving gud comments on posts but its my honor to av u on my topic, Tnx bro 4 d nice welcome and gudluck running 4 dis year's best pos

y dnt u just keep mute, pick your mouse, highlight it and copy it cos d only thing u knw how to do is follow-follow, u dis un-unique deciphered nonentity

by d way i wonder how u are gonna help d section cos i have been off for like over a year and i hear new dudes like u are in, wat can u do to teach we old dudes, abeg talk ooo cos u just come here they blow mouth like goat wey dem inject chloroquine mtscheewww [b][/b]

@Element, how old are u? i like d way u handle matters . don'T mind dem bad belle,

@Mikuz, u write like a 10year old boy , Don't bother replying/insulting me, i won't answer you cos i wont wanna bring myself down to the same level with you. Av a gr8 day

i cant beliv person are still comment on this thread, it have long o

it's stale jare, y r u all ?

Ajibel, Tot u'r a joke critic? gud 2 c ur teeth>>>>hehehehh

stale

hehehehehehheeeee , me luv dat last ans

Ode remo, Labaks is more dan just a friend. . But why e come she go wan tarnish my image with dat stale news and even dey question my integrity for here?

Anyway sha, na WHO KNOW MAN DEY KILL AM

my guy, i no fit kill u jare, just looking 4 trouble. Ode remo sure wasn't referrin 2 moi, m sure he must be referrin 2 d posters above moi

who be da person wey post dis joke and please tatafo i go like to see the link . . .?

People should stop popping annoyance and be fair with dia criticism

I wrote dis joke myself to make people happy but what i gt for my hardwork is Hate n Jealousy

Why me

STUDIO, WHICH JOKE DID U WRITE URSELF? DID U JUST WRITE IT OR IT'S BEEN LONG U WROTE IT? COS I'V SEEN THIS JOKE 4 LIKE 2 YRS NOW, IT'S BEEN ON FCBK, BBM AND EVRYWHERE, GUY U DEY FALL MY HAND, NO B U WRITE AM

1, they are beggers.
2, they are 97% dependent on us (guys).

Abi i lie?

u no lie @ all. Even ur mum, ur sisters, ur gf, ur female inlaws and all the women in your household are all first grade beggers. Afterall, d op said 'all women''

@ op, d fact that u are not so fortunate 2 d point of dating independent ladies dosen't mean all girls ask 4 recharge cards and like one oloriire said, u sure u ain't chatting wit guys? Ode osi

[table]so dat kinkini boy fit impregnate woman! shege![/table]

[img]http://so dat kinkini boy fit impregnate woman! shege![/img]

so dat kinkini boy fit impregnate woman! shege!

[center]so dat kinkini boy fit impregnate woman! shege![/center]