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Sports / Re: Pierre-emerick Aubameyang Signs For Chelsea by Lavish88(m): 1:22am On Sep 02, 2022 |
Investing in this ratio. |
Health / Moving To Port Harcourt? Soot Yourself! by Lavish88(m): 4:31pm On Dec 20, 2021 |
Getting off the bed, I strode to the window to let in the 3:00am soft harmattan breeze. Seeing fog dancing under the security lights made my lungs bob in excitement. They opened up like someone confessing, excited to get a whiff of that crisp oxygen which soothes one’s air ways like menthol. The first thing I noticed when the windows flung open was a cacophony of coughs. It was like a coughing choir: There was a chandelier rattling, baritone cough coming from the neighbor in the compound behind, followed by an ear-piercing soprano screech from the adjacent compound. When I took a lung full of the oxygen, I didn’t know when I also coughed, adding tenor to the mix. It was that moment I understood why different types of cough syrups adorned the dining table like provisions. What do you tell your kids are the dangers of smoking when the very oxygen they breathe daily is busy painting their lungs black? Gas masks will soon replace face masks in this once beautiful City. Everything, and everywhere now looks ashy. How did the Garden City turn to Coal City? No wonder when I told a friend I was going to Port Harcourt he said, “SOOT yourself!” |
Forum Games / . by Lavish88(m): 2:54pm On Sep 21, 2021 |
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Family / Re: What Would You Do If You Find A Used Condom Wrapper In Your Matrimonial Bedroom? by Lavish88(m): 1:25pm On Sep 15, 2021 |
Emeka511:Take heart Bro. But maybe she used it to blow her nose, the thing holds catarrh well � |
Family / Re: What Would You Do If You Find A Used Condom Wrapper In Your Matrimonial Bedroom? by Lavish88(m): 1:23pm On Sep 15, 2021 |
Missionaire:You’re either stupid, or an only child, and most likely someone who doesn’t have kids. I’m the last of 5 boys. You think the bond between brothers is the same as relationship with parents? Jon Snow! When you have that many children, as a parent, even in your absence you can tell which one is most likely to start a fight, or break something. Also mighty rich of you idiots to assume my parents marriage was under any sort of threat. “There was a lot of finger pointing!” |
Family / Re: What Would You Do If You Find A Used Condom Wrapper In Your Matrimonial Bedroom? by Lavish88(m): 7:04pm On Sep 14, 2021 |
cescky:Got a headache just from reading this. one begins to wonder what your mom got from birthing you. You sound like an STD. |
Family / Re: What Would You Do If You Find A Used Condom Wrapper In Your Matrimonial Bedroom? by Lavish88(m): 5:21pm On Sep 14, 2021 |
Ishilove:Going by your logic, that means my parents did same to their parents…smh |
Family / Re: What Would You Do If You Find A Used Condom Wrapper In Your Matrimonial Bedroom? by Lavish88(m): 4:04pm On Sep 14, 2021 |
cescky:You need sense to actually see sense. Perhaps your Iq needs checking… |
Family / Re: What Would You Do If You Find A Used Condom Wrapper In Your Matrimonial Bedroom? by Lavish88(m): 2:49pm On Sep 14, 2021 |
Ishilove: It’s their luck. I’m not a marriage counselor, neither was I the one who committed the crime. If as a parent you don’t take out the time to know what your children can do and undo, or when they’re telling lies, then it’s all on you. 29 Likes 4 Shares |
Family / Re: What Would You Do If You Find A Used Condom Wrapper In Your Matrimonial Bedroom? by Lavish88(m): 2:43pm On Sep 14, 2021 |
chatinent:Lack of trust is what breaks marriages, things like these are what tests trust. The marriage is 40 years strong and counting… 8 Likes |
Family / Re: What Would You Do If You Find A Used Condom Wrapper In Your Matrimonial Bedroom? by Lavish88(m): 2:42pm On Sep 14, 2021 |
Ishilove: hear no evil, see no evil. So I should have ratted out my brother? *stitches to snitches* 7 Likes 1 Share |
Family / Re: What Would You Do If You Find A Used Condom Wrapper In Your Matrimonial Bedroom? by Lavish88(m): 8:34am On Sep 14, 2021 |
[quote author=Ishilove post=105797595] Would you have confessed to them if the situation had escalated? I’m no snitch…que sera sera |
Family / What Would You Do If You Find A Used Condom Wrapper In Your Matrimonial Bedroom? by Lavish88(m): 7:46am On Sep 14, 2021 |
Many years ago before all my brothers got married, one of them brought a girl to the house in the villa. Somewhere along the line they decided it was a good idea to have sex in my father’s parlor, after-all sex on the bed is boring. After they were done doing the do and getting dressed, that was when baba realized there was a very big problem. A ‘magnum’ sized problem in-fact. He couldn’t find the condom wrapper. He checked under the rug, beside the center table, inside the couch, even on top the chandelier too, but he didn’t find it. He resigned himself to fate and went about his life. 3 months later my family went to the villa for Christmas. Immediately my Mother unlocked their room door, the first thing she saw was a ‘Rough Rider’ condom wrapper in the middle of the room. My parents’ room is annexed to my Dad’s parlor. So when my brother took out the condom and threw the wrapper on the floor, the fan blew it under my parents’ door which was locked at the time. I’m glad when the game of finger pointing began, I was thousands of kilometers away in another country. It was a tense Xmas. 75 Likes 2 Shares |
Food / Re: Sad End For Sweetpotato by Lavish88(m): 4:26pm On Sep 12, 2021 |
Wiseandtrue:see why you should have finished primary school? Elementary English is big grammar for you. |
Food / Re: Sad End For Sweetpotato by Lavish88(m): 4:23pm On Sep 12, 2021 |
Arewalegend:�� |
Food / Sad End For Sweetpotato by Lavish88(m): 10:24am On Sep 12, 2021 |
I walked into my kitchen one morning and found a potato sprouting. I decided to take it out to the yard, to plant. It’s not like I had plans of harvesting it in the future, I just wanted to tilt the survival scale in its favor. At least give it a fighting chance in this life wrenching thing we call Nigeria. Already out the door, half way down the stairway that leads out to the yard; knife to till the soil in my right hand, potato in my left. I stopped abruptly, turned and went back into the house, opened the waste bin, and dumped the potato inside. Before you call me cruel, let me paint you a picture. A man just moved into your building. Nobody knows his name because he doesn’t speak to anyone. A total recluse who looks like a leprechaun and walks like Chiwetalu Agu. One early morning, you see this person planting something in your compound. what’s the first thing that’ll come to your mind? Exactly what I thought! I’m that man. I had only been in Lagos for about 2 months at the time, I figured extending the life of one potato wasn’t worth the challenges that come with being a ritualist who wants to use his Neighbors destinies. Bitter end to a sweet potato. It was indeed a Sweet-potato. The end. 2 Likes
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Literature / Hang Up: Murder Of A General’s Wife by Lavish88(m): 5:04pm On Sep 07, 2021 |
Barely 23 minutes later, a military ambulance arrived. The gate had been left open in anticipation of its arrival. It drove straight in and parked in the middle of the large compound, then two doctors alighted. They were led into the house by one of the guards on duty. Judging from the nonchalant movement of the guard, the doctors deduced the patient was either already dead or didn't need an ambulance in the first place. Unable to keep her curiosity to herself anymore, Dr Efua, the highest ranking officer amongst them asked, "what’s the present condition of the patient?" The guard who was leading them said nothing for a few seconds, then he moved out of the way, pointed towards the living room door and said, “be patient Ma, you’re about to see for yourself,” looking directly at Efua. From a distance they could see the patient was a female. They rushed in and found her body sprawled in an awkward position at the foot of the stairs. Her head tilted backwards, a couple of bones dislocated from her jugular and were protruding from her neck. There were a bunch of other dislocated bones, mostly her limbs. She also had a catholic rosary clenched in her fist. The doctors looked at each other, then looked back at the body. "You should have called a hearse, not an ambulance!" Dr Efua blurted out. She knelt beside the lifeless body and began to examine it. She felt for a pulse but didn’t find any. Looking at the victim’s hands she could see old scars and bruises from a recent scuffle. She knew right away it was a homicide and nothing accidental, the lady must have been shoved from the top of the stairs. Just from the look in her eyes, Dr Moses, the other doctor, knew exactly what Dr Efua was thinking. He tapped her shoulder as she was still kneeling beside the body. She looked up at him, beginning to feel anger well up in the pit of her stomach. He tapped his wristwatch, signaling her to announce time of death. So they could take the body to the morgue and wait for further orders. They were about to going to get a stretcher to move the body to the ambulance when the guard waltzed into the room and said, "The General says her body should be dressed immediatley for burial, in line with her faith." The doctors knew the house they were called to belongs to a top ranking military official because of the sentries posted, and signs that read “military zone. Keep off!! were mounted at the entrance. Dazed. If there was any doubt of foul play before, the benefit of doubt just flew out the window. It was obvious the General and his household were trying to quickly cover up a murder. Every bone in her wanted her to take the body for autopsy but she couldn’t disobey an order from her superior. Thirteen years in the military, working as a medic had taught her better. “What was her name?” She managed to ask. The guard mumbled something that sounded like “Christiana.” Once again both doctors looked at themselves. This time it was the younger doctor who spoke, “ I’ve never a heard a Muslim woman go by that name.” |
Health / Re: I'm a super Skinny dude. Nairaland Body Builders, Pls help my case by Lavish88(m): 7:00pm On Sep 23, 2020 |
I used to have your body type and I struggled with it for many years. Everything changed when I started taking whey protein supplements. It costs around 15k and you'll start seeing results in 2 weeks. 3 Likes |
Health / Re: Stubborn Rashes On The Head: How Can I Treat This? (Disturbing Photo) by Lavish88(m): 7:24pm On Apr 05, 2020 |
Rub Close up toothpaste on it daily. It'll clear within 2 weeks. Tested and proven. |
Literature / Re: " The Trials Of Maclean Agu" A Story By Hydronium by Lavish88(m): 8:27am On Nov 04, 2019 |
I just stumbled on this series this morning and I couldn't drop my phone or do anything else until I read it all. Waiting expectantly for continuation. You're an extremely good writer. Bravo! 1 Like |
Sports / Re: Messi Scores 50th Career Free-kick, 44 For Barca & 6 For Argentina by Lavish88(m): 11:45pm On Oct 29, 2019 |
lexyman: Ronaldo is currently the second worst free-kick taker in serie A history. 10 Likes 1 Share |
Politics / Re: What We Will Do If Border Closure Remains –Ghana Traders Union by Lavish88(m): 10:07am On Oct 28, 2019 |
When ghana police was going about, breaking into Nigerians homes and deporting them, una no remember ecowas. Bloody hypocrites 17 Likes 1 Share |
Politics / Re: Throwback Picture Of Muhammadu Buhari & Aisha by Lavish88(m): 11:58am On May 30, 2019 |
dokyOloye: And the security who keeps letting the thief steal shouldn't call himself a gateman! |
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