₦airaland Forum

1. MAGNITUDE OF A PROJECT:

I am sure a lot you of have experienced this at one point in your life and some of you still do, including me. According to psychology reports, when we visualize the size of a project, we tend to postpone embarking on it. For instance, a writer who has a grand idea about a book to write, when he looks at the number of impact it’s going to make, the amount of works that needed to be put into it and basically everything it takes to write a great book, might not be too ecstatic about starting to write.

I SOLUTION: BREAK IT DOWN INTO PARTS

Few a years ago, what I wrote above was how used to avoid any project i found massive. But now, I get around a seemingly daunting project by simply breaking it down into different sizeable parts. From the biggest parts to smallest. This will enable you view the different parts as a task on their own and finishing one will propel or motivate you to move to the next one. Next time you have a dream that seems big for you to accomplish, break it down. Then you can thank me later.

2. LACK OF SELF DISCIPLINE

Discipline is your ability to do what needs to be done, when it needs to be done, when you don’t want to do it. Whatever we become -whether good or bad- or how far we go in life can be linked to self-discipline and how much we are able to delay gratification.

SOLUTION: WALK THROUGH THE DOORS

Walk through the door. That’s it. The best way to deal with lack of discipline is to walk through the door. This means cutting out whatever stands in your way. Yours could be excessive time on social media or watching too much of TV instead of doing something worthwhile. If this sounds like you, disconnect the Internet until you’re done with task at hand. Someone said nothing can be written on a laptop with an internet.

3. LAZINESS

We all feel lazy sometimes. In fact, it’s humane to feel lazy sometimes. You know, wanting to not do anything. To not engage in any stressful task. But this is either because we feel we’ve done enough for the time or the day, therefore we have earned our rights to lounge around and just do nothing.

SOLUTION: CHECK OUT THE DO-SOMETHING PRINCIPLE

The do-something principle simply means taking the minutest step. You want to clean your room? Take out the garbage first. You would find yourself doing more.

You want to work on that project? Start with a word on your computer screen. A very prolific writer was recently asked how he was able to have written up to seventy novels. He said it’s simple. All he had to do was forcing himself to write some 200 words daily. He won’t stop at that, he would go on to write more. But the trick is to build momentum for the job ahead.

4. IDENTITY PROBLEM

I am sure you never thought of it before, but the reason why you have not made some life changing decisions is because making it threatens your identity. A successful bachelor might delay getting married because, well, getting married threatens his identity as a bachelor. He would be a married man and he will be expected to live as such.

A lot of people would share with me their dreams of becoming an X, Y and Z. But because people will now start calling them the X, Y and Z. Someone I know has a lifelong passion for music. She dreams that one day her song would be played everywhere, but this my friend is a law student. The thought of being seen as a singer/lawyer numbs that thought every time it came to her head.

SOLUTION: WE’LL, DO WHAT AM ABOUT TO TELL YOU

This kind of problem might be hard to knock off. It is hard because unlike your others, your reasons for indulging in this kind of procrastination sounds very valid. Another thing is, it consists of every kind of procrastination you can think of.I

The danger here is, you will think your reasons are valid. But it’s just your mind playing tricks on you. You need a high level of self-awareness to know this is exactly why pushing diving in to follow that life-long dream.

If you are lucky enough to have found out, the next thing is to take action.

Some months back, a friend of mine asked me, if I was given the privilege to travel back in time, let's say ten years, what would I do differently?
That was thought provoking. But I could not answer him immediately. Let's just say I didn't answer him at all. But when I got home, I did put some things down in my Evernote which has somewhat, been serving as my diary.

Here they are:

I wish I gave less f**k about people's opinion:
Opinions are cheap and anyone could afford one. During my teens, I lived my life through people's view of me. People saw me as this cool kid, so I didn't want to appear uncool to them. I guess my idea of wrong.

Here is an example, there was this girl I wanted to date in a church where I worshipped back then. One of the coolest people I've ever met. But every other person's Idea of her was wrong. So I avoided her, in fact, I didn't want people to see her with me. You can imagine an height of arrogance by me. I was the douche. We eventually dated, but it didn't last, I guess by the time I realised who she truly she was, it was already late.

I am now dating the woman of my dream, but I could have treated her better. Or anyone for that matter.
I only sighted this an example, there many more ways care too much about people's opinion.

The PSALMIST say, search your with due diligence, out of it comes forth the real truth.

I wish I cared less about how other people live their lives:

Another height of arrogance by people. Why would anyone want other to be like him, I don't know. Who ever invented morality.... I am short for words. Sometimes wishing people have cause for happiness is better, and that could go on to change them, rather than wishing they were who we want.

I wish I started reading earlier:
about ten years ago, I read my first book- RICH DAD, POOR DAD. I read books while in school, but this was actually my first book outside school. This book changed the way I thought and I went on to start my first business at 19 with some friend.

But poor me, I never read any books again until everything crashed. I had lose touch with my source of inspiration which was books. After I became broke, I found my way back to books and within the space of 2 years I have read well over 350+ books and the change has been immense. I am way better now. Now if there is one thing you won't see me without, that would be books.

I wish I knew how to lean on non family members more:
while we were growing up, my mum, a very hardworking person, would prefer we gave to people and not the other round. It was cool to give, but a taboo to take. Except from a family member. Why she did that I don't know. Now after stumbling on some psychologists like Brene Brown's works, I realised it was a vulnerability problem.

Fast track to my hardship days, it was those friend who leaned on me that I ran to. Some family members could care less. Some of those of friends acted like a brother more than some of my own blood brothers. I later learnt you can't truly give, until you learn to receive wholeheartedly.

I wish I trusted my gut more:
we waste a lot of time thinking about decisions that won't change our lives. Growing up, I asked almost every one close to me before I made little decisions.

I wish I knew the power of connection earlier:
Few years back, I designed this very cool network equipment, at least so I thought. I tried marketing it to totally strangers. And the result? No one bought it. Little did I know people buy from who they know. It might be indirectly, but there is almost always a link. I was an introverted nerd who was too shy to even make a friend. I thought PADI PADI was only a Nigerian thing.

I am not saying connect with every Tom, dick and Harry, if do that you'd keeping a lot of time wasters in your life, but you can deliberately connect with people you think you might need in years to come. Greet them, help, just be good. Read Never Eat Alone for more on this...

I wish I set boundaries earlier:
Do I really need to talk about this? But again, set boundaries, show people their limit in your life. I failed to this earlier, and I could tell 90% of it was the reason why my first businesscrashed. Funny things is, none of those people were not seen when problems came.

I wish I knew about forgiveness earlier:
Not christian forgiveness/God one . Forgiving people wholeheartedly... This has contributed to 40% of my happiness.

“Some people’s write up are just freaking orgasmic, they are very stimulating too. When you read them, after just going half way, you won’t have a choice than begging yourself to take actions.”

The above was exactly what I wrote in my diary. I was reading a book, then all of sudden I felt blood rushing from my veins, pumping straight and going all the way into my head. At least, that was how I felt. I could feel it; it was as ticklish as it was painful.

I have had experiences like these many times before now, either while working on a project or reading a book.

But I had also mistaken it for a good sign, sign of inspiration or the competence of this writer. They are good, I always thought.

At first, when I started having these experiences, it used to be the propeller to work. I’d leave the reading I was doing and dive in straight to my work mode.

But what I failed to realize was that, anytime this feeling came, I was always unable to do anything. The next thing I find myself doing is constantly shaking and abandoning whatever I was doing.

I did some researches on google as well as talking to people. I was eventually asked to see a health practitioner.

What I saw was alarming!

I was actually suffering from adrenaline surge.

Here is what I found out about adrenaline surge during my research: It’s the evolution of your fight/flight response designed specifically to warn you that there is a danger present and prepare you to react to it.

Being anxious isn’t good for anyone. It prevents you from being productive. No one, I repeat, no one, no matter what profession, will perform optimally, under anxiety. We all need to be clear headed to perform at our best.

If this sounds like what you are familiar with, and you have mistaken it for a sign of energy and being ready, well I am here to tell you that it is bad.

If you disagree, think again, when was the last time you were productive under a state like this. It is called nervousness, anxiety and every bad thing you could imagine.

The bottom line is, you need to find how to make sure it doesn’t happen again or more often.

It didn’t stop for me overnight. But it eventually stopped.

The following are what I did wrongly, and then stopped, you should stop doing them too, if they look like your story:

1. High Expectation: James Altucher once said, “If you have no expectations, it’s amazing how you get to exceed those expectations.” anxiety is what you get when you place so much expectation on yourself or a project. So, expect less.

2. Fear of failure: you need to identify the fear of failure. Better still; learn how to be comfortable with whatever the outcome of a project, book or whatever it might be. Be aware you might fail or succeed. This would place less stretch on you.

3. Result or gain of a project: [/b]of course, we all expect something from work or whatever that task we embark on. But when our eyes are fixed on gains or profit we tend to make from work, it also accompanies with it the fear of not making those gains.

Here is an anecdote, anytime I place a bet on a match, my eyes and mind is not only always on the profit I’m set to make, I’m also scared of losing. When I do, I am cold, hot and everything.
[b]
4. Working in an unconcomfortable environment: [/b]look here, I know the whole story about stepping out of your comfort zone and embracing what makes you uncomfortable. If you are not ready for it, avoid it altogether. What’s the point of being in an uncomfortable environment if it’s going to make you less productive?
[b]
5. Avoid setting an unrealistic deadline: there are lots of self help books and blogs out there, with the aim to help you get more out of your day. They tell you to set an unreasonable deadline, so that you can keep pushing yourself, even when your body says no.

Deadlines are good if they are reasonable and realistic. Again, what’s the point if all it does is make you a wire of nerve and anxiety? Even if you eventually achieve your target, what about your health?

6. Reduce your caffeine and alcohol intake: [/b]am equally guilty of this, in order to keep my brain charged and stop me from sleeping while working, my desk is always with a cup of coffee. As one finishes, I am making another one. Caffeine is a great stimulant no doubt, but it pumps your adrenaline and it doesn’t help during the time of stress.
[b]
The following are what I started doing and I hope you do them too:

1. Recognition: [/b]the first step to solving any problem is being aware and able to identify what it is exactly. Like me, I thought it to be a sign of productivity. You know, the pumping of adrenaline and charges.

At first, it led me to work, until I was longer able to do the work itself. Then I knew I needed help.
[b]
2. Practice meditation: I am not expert at it yet. No one really, is an expert. But I know the following about it, for those reasons, you should consider it:

Deep breathing- in and out
Mental and body calmness
Awareness of self
Increased emotional stability
You might consider reading more about it online.

3. Take a break from work: take a break from work or leaving it altogether can be helpful so sometimes. You might decide to leave everything and come back the next day.

4. Write in your diary: when Im experiencing anxiety either while working on my desk or anywhere, I simply bring out my journal pad to write the experience. I did this for long; even before I found out I was having an adrenaline surge. Writing can be therapeutic and relaxant. Of course, it has turned to this article.

5. Do something non relating to the work you are doing: if you experience this at your desk, try changing your work environment. You might try rearranging your office. Make it seem less like of a working environment. A working environment gives you that constant reminder that you should be working.

6. Exercise regularly: [/b]If you feel your adrenaline levels rising, go get some exercise. Putting the adrenaline you feel to good use by going on a run can keep you from experiencing overwhelming feelings of stress. Try to exercise for 30 minutes at least three to five times a week

[b]7. Sleep, sleep and sleep: many people brag about their ability to sleep less. To them, it’s a sign, they are productive, but to be real here, they not. I sleep for nothing less than 8 hours straight and I am super productive. No one perform well except those with bipolar diseases and I doubt you are one. So, sleep, sleep, and sleep.

[b]8. Single task: [/b]our society is productivity obsessed. You see everyone write on their CV, “ability to multi-task and work under pressure”. The truth is, no one really works or perform well under pressure.

So take out those other jobs and the do the more pressing ones. Tell yourself you won’t go to the other less pressing ones until you are done with the one at hand.

http://tolabenadem.com/index.php/2015/06/29/8-easy-steps-to-overcome-anxiety/

“Some people’s write up are just freaking orgasmic, they are very stimulating too. When you read them, after just going half way, you won’t have a choice than begging yourself to take actions.”

The above was exactly what I wrote in my diary. I was reading a book, then all of sudden I felt blood rushing from my veins, pumping straight and going all the way into my head. At least, that was how I felt. I could feel it; it was as ticklish as it was painful.

I have had experiences like these many times before now, either while working on a project or reading a book.

But I had also mistaken it for a good sign, sign of inspiration or the competence of this writer. They are good, I always thought.

At first, when I started having these experiences, it used to be the propeller to work. I’d leave the reading I was doing and dive in straight to my work mode.

But what I failed to realize was that, anytime this feeling came, I was always unable to do anything. The next thing I find myself doing is constantly shaking and abandoning whatever I was doing.

I did some researches on google as well as talking to people. I was eventually asked to see a health practitioner.

What I saw was alarming!

I was actually suffering from adrenaline surge.

Here is what I found out about adrenaline surge during my research: It’s the evolution of your fight/flight response designed specifically to warn you that there is a danger present and prepare you to react to it.

Being anxious isn’t good for anyone. It prevents you from being productive. No one, I repeat, no one, no matter what profession, will perform optimally, under anxiety. We all need to be clear headed to perform at our best.

If this sounds like what you are familiar with, and you have mistaken it for a sign of energy and being ready, well I am here to tell you that it is bad.

If you disagree, think again, when was the last time you were productive under a state like this. It is called nervousness, anxiety and every bad thing you could imagine.

The bottom line is, you need to find how to make sure it doesn’t happen again or more often.

It didn’t stop for me overnight. But it eventually stopped.

The following are what I did wrongly, and then stopped, you should stop doing them too, if they look like your story:

1. High Expectation: James Altucher once said, “If you have no expectations, it’s amazing how you get to exceed those expectations.” anxiety is what you get when you place so much expectation on yourself or a project. So, expect less.

2. Fear of failure: you need to identify the fear of failure. Better still; learn how to be comfortable with whatever the outcome of a project, book or whatever it might be. Be aware you might fail or succeed. This would place less stretch on you.

3. Result or gain of a project: of course, we all expect something from work or whatever that task we embark on. But when our eyes are fixed on gains or profit we tend to make from work, it also accompanies with it the fear of not making those gains.

Here is an anecdote, anytime I place a bet on a match, my eyes and mind is not only always on the profit I’m set to make, I’m also scared of losing. When I do, I am cold, hot and everything.

4. Working in an unconcomfortable environment: look here, I know the whole story about stepping out of your comfort zone and embracing what makes you uncomfortable. If you are not ready for it, avoid it altogether. What’s the point of being in an uncomfortable environment if it’s going to make you less productive?

5. Avoid setting an unrealistic deadline: there are lots of self help books and blogs out there, with the aim to help you get more out of your day. They tell you to set an unreasonable deadline, so that you can keep pushing yourself, even when your body says no.

Deadlines are good if they are reasonable and realistic. Again, what’s the point if all it does is make you a wire of nerve and anxiety? Even if you eventually achieve your target, what about your health?

6. Reduce your caffeine and alcohol intake: am equally guilty of this, in order to keep my brain charged and stop me from sleeping while working, my desk is always with a cup of coffee. As one finishes, I am making another one. Caffeine is a great stimulant no doubt, but it pumps your adrenaline and it doesn’t help during the time of stress.

The following are what I started doing and I hope you do them too:

1. Recognition: the first step to solving any problem is being aware and able to identify what it is exactly. Like me, I thought it to be a sign of productivity. You know, the pumping of adrenaline and charges.

At first, it led me to work, until I was longer able to do the work itself. Then I knew I needed help.

2. Practice meditation: I am not expert at it yet. No one really, is an expert. But I know the following about it, for those reasons, you should consider it:

Deep breathing- in and out
Mental and body calmness
Awareness of self
Increased emotional stability
You might consider reading more about it online.

3. Take a break from work: take a break from work or leaving it altogether can be helpful so sometimes. You might decide to leave everything and come back the next day.

4. Write in your diary: when Im experiencing anxiety either while working on my desk or anywhere, I simply bring out my journal pad to write the experience. I did this for long; even before I found out I was having an adrenaline surge. Writing can be therapeutic and relaxant. Of course, it has turned to this article.

5. Do something non relating to the work you are doing: if you experience this at your desk, try changing your work environment. You might try rearranging your office. Make it seem less like of a working environment. A working environment gives you that constant reminder that you should be working.

6. Exercise regularly: If you feel your adrenaline levels rising, go get some exercise. Putting the adrenaline you feel to good use by going on a run can keep you from experiencing overwhelming feelings of stress. Try to exercise for 30 minutes at least three to five times a week

7. Sleep, sleep and sleep: many people brag about their ability to sleep less. To them, it’s a sign, they are productive, but to be real here, they not. I sleep for nothing less than 8 hours straight and I am super productive. No one perform well except those with bipolar diseases and I doubt you are one. So, sleep, sleep, and sleep.

8. Single task: our society is productivity obsessed. You see everyone write on their CV, “ability to multi-task and work under pressure”. The truth is, no one really works or perform well under pressure.

So take out those other jobs and the do the more pressing ones. Tell yourself you won’t go to the other less pressing ones until you are done with the one at hand.

http://tolabenadem.com/index.php/2015/06/29/8-easy-steps-to-overcome-anxiety/

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