₦airaland Forum

Not had of that before ooo...Abeg what specie of human being are you.. Lol

estyvino:
What of those who dry their tongue first lolz, abegeeee make I watch football

peppyluv02:
Lol @ the stomach type..
Op I know most kids dry their stomach first are they also obnoxious pigs?Even when bathing them,you find out they keep rubbing the soap on their stomach. Most are afraid to let water touch their face.

Hehehe like u already know its all a joke...who knows maybe they are obnoxious pigs in the making. Lol

Want to quickly know what others personality types really are… to help you decide whether to date, divorce, or have an affair with them, for example? Or maybe you wonder, "What personality type am I?" toward finding the ideal career or beverage for you. 

Then closely watch what part of their body they first dry after showering... and pay attention to what part you first dry. Because that reveals more about personality type than absolutely anything else ever, according to a new study.

The study was conducted by watching hundreds of people I know of step naked and dripping wet out of their showers. The subjects included women from all geographic regions, income levels, and professions ranging in age from 18 or so to 44. So as not to influence their choices, the subjects had no idea they were being watched, studied, or video recorded.

And here are the surprising results:

2K+

The body part a person dries first after taking a shower like this young woman you'll want to watch closely reveals more about what type of person they really are than anything else ever.

Dry Hair First

Those who dry their hair first after showering tend to be very logical, practical, and incredibly boring in bed. They once thought they would be models, but are now slightly overweight, quietly bitter at the world, and most likely to open fire on random people in a McDonald's. They are reliable and dedicated in their work, but are prone to cheating on their significant others when drunk and will typically use the alcohol as an excuse. (Ironically, while dull in bed with their committed partners, the hair-dryers become rather insane sexual beasts with their cheating partners.)  Ideal careers for those who dry their hair first after showering include accountant, factory-line assembler, data entry clerk, sniper, and sweeper.


Dry Ears First

People who dry their ears first after showering think they really "get" other people, but they don't. They think they're witty, but they're not. They think that if they really put their minds to it, they can achieve anything, but that's not true especially for them. They think they're sexy and they know it, but they're not and they don't. They're wrong about everything, in fact, except one thing: they think they're "survivors," and that they are... but only in the same way that cockroaches are. If you know someone who thinks very highly of himself or herself, when actually they should be thinking very lowly if they were truly "in touch" with who they are, it is a sure thing that they dry their ears first after showering. Ear-dryers are the people it is ethical to make fun of. There are no ideal careers for the ear-dryers.

If you dry your ears first after a typical shower, like this young woman is about to do, you don't really "get it"... and the more you think you do, the more you don't.
Dry Face First

People who dry their faces first after showering are true "take-charge" individuals. Whether they're involved in a horribly dull corporate restructuring project, a pick-up game of bocci ball, or a vicious lynch mob, the face dryers will be right there at the forefront, leading the others to success. Still, other people don't like them. One of many reasons is that face-dryers edge tremendously toward overindulgence that seriously disgusts the hell out of others: whether it's excessive condiments, compliments, clapping, crack, or CAPITAL LETTERS in their texts, "way too much" always seems to be just the right amount for face-dryers. They're drawn to the spotlight, to angrily yelling instructions at football players on TV who can't hear them, to beef jerky, and to having heart attacks. Ideal careers include CEO, police officer, ShamWow! infomercial host, dictator, lynch mob organizer, and champion bowler.

Dry Neck First

Those who dry their necks first after showering are all cowards who sing well. They live their lives in fear of pretty much everything, attend counseling almost non-stop throughout their adult lives though it doesn't get them anywhere except more broke, pick at their food like fucking insects, and their incessant worrying makes it impossible for anyone else to truly love them. They think everything is a conspiracy against them, and usually it is. But again, they do sing well. Ideal careers include yodeler, telemarketer, auctioneer, house cleaner, and famous singer.

If you dry your neck first after a typical shower, like this young woman is about to do, you like to sing in the shower and you'll never find true love.
Dry Boobs First

The boobs first types are sweet and nurturing, but incredibly gullible and quite stupid overall. When you need help, those who dry their boobs first after showering are always there for you... and when you need to take advantage of someone, the boob dryers are also always there for you. They smile a lot... really a lot more than they should, which gets annoying and makes you want to take advantage of them. They bake well, tend to love the HGTV cable TV channel (especially Property Brothers), and have squeeky little annoying voices even if every other part of their body is massive. Boobs-first types make great babysitters, nurses, Starbucks baristas, and punching bags.


Dry your belly first after a typical shower, as this young woman who showers in her bikini is about to do? Then you're a pig.

Dry Stomach First

Those who dry their stomachs first after showering are the most greedy obnoxious pigs you never want to meet -- except if you're piss drunk. They're not funny when you're sober, but they're hilarious when you're smashed, because they intentionally scare the neck-first-dryer types like the small Indian lady who works the late-night cash register at 7-11 and they insult parents' babies to their faces. They do become very wealthy, but they achieve their riches "by any means necessary," including fixed boxing matches, insurance scams on the elderly, and getting you to join the creepy multi-level marketing crap they're top members of like Amway, Xango, Nikken and all that. They drive Cadillac Escalades and complain the truck's not big enough, eat Wendy's Triple Baconator and still have room for fries, but interestingly they cry excessively when listening to "sentimental songs" like I Will Always Love You by Dolly Parton or Whitney Houston. Ideal careers for stomach dryers include union organizer, baseball umpire, construction company owner, life insurance sales, scam artist, and asshole.


Dry Arms First

Those who dry their arms first after showering never found a sunny situation they couldn't turn grey. Think Debbie Downer, think Eeyore, think "Oh my GOD, why did they have to invite her to the party, there goes all the fun!" They even look like rain clouds. They love cats, and think cats love them though the rest of us know cats don't love anyone, they're only "nice" because they know who feeds them. Like almost everyone, the arm-dryers do have their good qualities, but no one knows what they are. They enjoy eating potatoes, so maybe that's one. Ideal careers for those who dry their arms first include envelope stuffer, doomsday prophesy maker, ticket agent, Burger King drive-thru window order taker, and dead.


Dry Hands First

People who dry their hands first after showering are control freaks. Scary bitches. "My way or the highway, muthafucka!" They act like they want to stab you if you drop a tortilla chip on the carpet and don't immediately pick it up, and they stare at you with devil's eyes for weeks if you accidentally placed an orange juice glass where the grapefruit juice glasses go. Yes, from head to toe they are awesome dressers, they change their oil every 2750 miles just in case, and they clean things amazingly well (including things no one else cleans ever, like ceilings, garden hoses, the backs of TVs, and even water heaters in their basements!), but hands-firsters also like to lead religious cults, enslave people, and complete crossword puzzles. Ideal careers for hands-firsters include engineer, suicide bomber, mathematician, gangsta, grocery shelver, Vice President of Operations, and person who paints lines on roads.

Those who dry their hands first after a typical shower, like this young lady who enjoys snacking on fruit while showering is about to do, are most likely to enslave others.

Dry Back First

Those who dry their backs first after showering are the most creative and anti-establishment types, but they also tend to be the most cannibalistic serial killer types. They cannot ever be trusted. If you had a party that fifty people attended and one of them was a dry-back-first type, and you are now missing the three most valuable Smurfs worth over $30 each from your old Smurf figurine collection, you can be 110% certain it was the back-dryer. If anyone suspects a dry-back-first type of anything, in fact, they're right. They're exceptional at leading revolutions, though, at least until the opposing side has been wiped out and things need to get orderly. They paint nice. They tend to shower the second-least after ass-dryers and they stink. Ideal careers include artist, revolutionary war hero, and homeless.

Dry Ass First

Despite their reputations, those who dry their ass first are not lazy. Or better put, not merely lazy... they're totally worthless piece-of-lizard-shit slugs. In fact, those who dry their asses first also typically dry their asses last, because it's the only part of their bodies they dry at all before deciding drying is "too difficult" and wouldn't it be nice to grab some Cheetos and Pepsi and go sit on the couch "a while" and watch Judge Judy, which of course means watching Judge Judy and everything that follows her "all day" until 1 am, when they have to drag their fat pointless selves into their Memory Foam mattress beds that only remember how much even they can't stand these waste-of-space-and-air blobs. Ideal careers for ass dryers include unemployed.

* Interestingly, those who dry the space up in between their buttocks first (i.e., their assholes) tend to not only be the unbelievably lazy types, but those unbelievably bitter lazy types (i.e. assholes) who shout out unimaginably obscene profanities at everyone on Judge Judy, including at Judge Judy herself!

If you dry your ass first after showering, like this young incredibly lazy woman is about to do, you are very good at opening beer and soda bottles and that's about it.

If you dry your genitals first after a typical shower, like this young slut, you're a slut.  

Dry Genitals First

Those who dry their genitals first after showering are sluts. And nothing but sluts. Ideal careers for those who dry their genitals first after showering include hooker, LovePeddler, and slut.



Dry Legs First

Those who dry their legs first after showering are the best people. They're the smartest, the most attractive with all the "right parts" in all the "right places," tons of fun even during church service and natural disasters, and by far the most likely to win all the major competitions (break-dancing contests, mayoral elections, Employee of the Month, the Oscars, cherry-pit-spit champ, Nobel Prize, Pictionary Queen, and so forth.) The other types envy leg-dryers which is understandable, but the envy is so extreme that -- unless they are receiving immense pleasure from a leg-dryer -- the other types want to push leg-dryers into a vat of corrosive chemicals to dissolve them. Leg-dryers are too brilliant to let them, of course. The only drawback with those who dry their legs first after showering is that all the other types keep breeding, so they're not the only ones left on the planet. Notable leg-first-dryers include Abraham Lincoln, Jenna Jameson, Mother Teresa, Buster Guru, Martin Luther King, Bruce Lee, Jesus, and Angelina Jolie (Brad Pitt is a boobs-first type -- surprising only to those who don't know him personally.) Ideal careers for legs-firsters include President, King or Queen, Champ, World-Famous Guru, yard sales, Hero, and Employee of This Decade and the Next

Dry Feet First

People who dry their feet first after showering are weighed down in their lives by monumental guilt, yet they keep doing the same dumb ass things provoking that guilt... including sick, twisted, and illegal things involving corpses, ponies, and the like. While others may have played a role, feet-dryers are generally most responsible for everything that goes seriously wrong anywhere. However, if you're a dominant dry-your-face-first-after-showering type who wants to "own" someone and make them do the kinkiest things in bed, a dry-feet-first type is definitely for you (or a dry-genitals-first type, of course). The feet-dryers do tend to have nice manners, are excellent at commenting on the weather, love apologizing and gardening, and drive Toyotas. In the United States, they tend to live in the Midwest and have nice feet. Ideal careers for those who dry their feet first include postal worker, rock band groupie, bank teller, geologist, priest, and gym teacher. 

If you dry your feet first after a typical shower, like this young bound woman recently did, you should be ashamed of yourself for what you are doing... and you know exactly what I am talking about.
And there you have it! YES, if you're wondering, studies have shown this body-part-dry-first-after-showering method (or "BPDFAS Method" is far more accurate in pigeon-holing people into personality types than Briggs Myers and the other psychology tests, than skin color, than what kind of car they drive, or even their Zodiac sign! 

So save this page, share it with friends and family and exes and others who can benefit, and USE it... use it to reliably learn what type of adult your little one is going to grow up to be, for example, and use it by posting your Body-Part-Dry-First-After-Showering Status (or "BPDFAS Status" on your Match.com or AshleyMadison.com profile (and be sure to ask others their status too... remember those Genitals-First types are "sure things"   ) 

But however you choose to use it, be sure to use it responsibly... and happy drying!

Okay, it's not very romantic, but it did change the world... okay, it didn't, but it will make you laugh till you urinate your pantalones.

Hehehehe hope it was worth Ur time

hbpeze:
best thing is just run ur park,save ur bar n travel go UK or USA on ur own abi she think say without am u no fit do anything na lie she talk

Thank you my brother, na wetin i go do be dat. My advice to you is to learn from my own experience now ooo. Finish with ur school first okay. Don't expect much from her, If she later stays through to her word, fine! If she doesn't you won't even feel it. Set ur mind that you would achieve what you can here in naija all by your self. This way you won't be disappointed like me.

My own personality? obviously you don't know how strongly i feel about this....
Reading your text alone i can already see you do hold your mum at high esteem. you really adore her. Well I feel a bit differently about mine...if you know what escalation means then you should know what i'm doing here. I understand what you mean madam but the issue at hand now has gone past that stage...and don't mistake my straight words for hate or lack of respect, i still love my mum very much. That is why i came here in the first place without going ahead with my decisions immediately. That title there is what best describes what i'm about to do and how strongly i feel about it. If i fail to tell you exactly what the issue truly is and how i do feel about it, you won't be able to give an advice that settles it.
Thanks for the advice all the same

uglyogre:
many a times, people have wisdom and knowledge, but not many have understanding. Please edit the title of your post 'cos it's just so embarrassing not just to your mother but it also speak volumes of your own personality.

Brotherly...i feel your story, i guess I'm not alone, like we're both passing through similar situations here. Men i had to seek advice before i overdo things...

ETHIX:
Yours might be spiritual and may need to pray hard to get breakthrough your problem might not be ur mum but ur dad or step mum who may not want u to travel even if u try using ur money.

Now this here is scary! Ever since I read this line i've just been pondering...why would anybody want to do that, what would He or She gain?
Yet that does not totally dispute the fact that its a possibility....we do live in a crazy world so YES! I'd be taking this very point seriously. I've never thought of this angle in all my looking for solution. Thanks alot man i guess I should be more prayerful now. Even if its not for my mum let it be for my own success.

Dheartless:
go your way if you feel rejected.

don't put your hope on a human being, whether or not that person is good.

believe in yourself, achieve what you will.

Thanks Dheartless...this seem the only option i have left now..so i'm taking it.

mutter:
Sorry I do not mean to offend you but you are an ungrateful young man!

Ungrateful? How and where was i ungrateful...what has she done that I dint appreciate my dear friend. Oh I guess giving birth me...anyway

mutter:
Did you ever bother to find out why your mother left you years back. She probably never had a choice!

Yes i had found out from my dad before she confirmed it and I have forgiven her...i have left that for the past now.

mutter:
As soon as you have a first degree her obligation is finished towards you! She has ensured that you have a good background and you can build on that to reach the peak.

Where are you getting all your assumptions from? Did i ever tell you my Mum footed my bills through UNI? My dad saw me through the university ok...If my Dad was buoyant enough he wouldn't even have accepted the offer from my mum in the first place. How would have payed for it himself, He still doesn't want to have anything to do with her but had to bend it because of me. So please delete that assumption of yours, its so one-sided and so wrong.

mutter:
Show some respect and appreciation.!

Again you have to remind me what is there to appreciate

mutter:
Show her love and you will get love in return.!

Madam...there won't be any need for this anymore if she does change!
Thank you all the same.

DukeNija...Thanks but no thanks because you've succeeded in saying nothing

DukeNija:
Funny young man. And you are here seeking our approval for what exactly? A decision you ought to have made, or one you are about to make? Shows why your mom treats you this way.

Thank you MRBrownJ you sound really matured. I wish you could see things a little bit from my own perspective. I wish you know how much effort i've put in just to know my mother better and she frustrated it all on different occasions. Now i don't even know how to go about taking her words seriously...I don't intend doing that not anymore.

The only point you raised that moved a little me is your nos 7 and that is because I consider it balanced.

MRBrownJ:
7) do not make any decision today with your mum in mind, but certainly dont exclude her from your life. you have never been her priority in life (and she probably has her own reasons) and therefore dont make her a priority in yours. if your decision takes a toll on her then so be it, some of her decisions did also take a toll on you.

Thank you my sister! You hit the head on the nail...sorry! I meant nail on the head
hehehehe.
Its really sad but I have to face reality now, no more nice guy.

EggovinMma:
Parents should stop making promises to kids especially if they can't keep them!@ op, I suggest you move on with your life and start struggling. I don't see the need for you to include ANYONE who doesn't have your interest at heart. Don't depend on your mom's promises else it may hinder your achievements in life by slowing it down. If she calls, fine, if she doesn't fine! After all you have two mothers. Na the one wey follow train you be your real mama. The one wey dey abroad just delivered you.


Study here in nigeria. Forget anyone that gives you stress biko.

Thanks bro theirs a time in a mans life that he's left alone to make difficult decisions all by himself...I think I'm at that cross road now. I'm sick...I'm tired of playing nice. I'll take your advice and be my own man but first of all I need to start by cutting off all distracting influences and unreliable people in my life.

thorpido:
My advise to you is that you focus here in Nigeria.It's obvious your mother can't be relied upon to make your dreams come true.If you desire a Master's degree abroad,you can still work towards it but it will cost you a lot of money like you said and that might waste your time waiting to save enough.

You can still open lines of communication with your mum if you wish but be your own man now.

@Basildvalour
Thanks for the advice bro...but you see the issue is not totally about going abroad for my masters...its more about trust and honour as family & most importantly as a deserted mum for that matter. At least she should be able to stand by her word and be stable. Did you read the part I said she disappears for months without any notice? Is that how your mum relates with you. How do you follow up a discussed plan that has a time frame to it with this type of attitude. Where is bases for Family in all this? I'm not the only person with a separated mum abroad...u know. Parents should be honourable don't u think...

Basildvalour:
What is bad in earning a masters degree in any of the prestigious universities in the country?

Hello NLer's, I'm an ardent follower of this forum though I don't comment most times...would it be wrong if i say I'm one of the card carrying member of the NL-ROA Read-only association (Lol) pardonne moi!


My mum broke up with my Dad when I was still a baby...in other words I dint know her from adam or better still let me just say we dint have that closeness(mother and son) as a kid. I grew up with my step mum. I knew she was not my biological mum because I used to get gifts like wears and stuffs as a kid from my biological mum, life was hash with her but I still love her, reason is that she gave me the opportunity...to grow up with a motherly figure around.


My problem started when my mum appeared in the picture of which I was already in the university. she called my Dad that she would like me to come over to the UK where she lives now with my step brother and sisters. She also told me same. the Idea and understanding then was that once I'm done with school I'll be moving over to the UK. This idea altered my focus in life, i channelled all my energy and thinking towards that. I became what I wanted most. finishes school and elopes to the UK...was my life sound track then (Lol).


Well I've since graduated, I have gotten 3 different admissions (2 in the UK 1 in Canada which was last year and the one that broke the camel's back) for masters within a space of 4years. The issue now is that my mum after making too many promises in the past cannot keep to her word. Sorry to say but my mum is the most untrustworthy person I've ever come across in my life. Her words and promises is more epileptic than PHCN power supply. Today she give's you her word, tomorrow she disappears with it into oblivion...you won't here anything from her sometime's in 4-6months, you won't be able to reach her. The next thing she appears again full of apologies and excuses. I lost all that admission last year. not because of financial problems cause i know how much she's got in her Nigerian account. I'm not satisfied with her reasons and would no longer tolerate anybody playing with my life and ambition.


I'm working but with what I earn now, i would Need to save for 5-6years before i would be able pay my fees abroad. My mind is made up i have decided to prove to her, myself and my family that i would travel out, do my masters and be the man I want to be with or without her. I have decided to move-on but first of all I need to cut all ties with her so I can focus. I would to change my line, move out of where I stay that she know's and leave my life like she doesn't exist. Its going to be hard but that is what I intend doing because I'm tired of persuading my own mother into helping me achieving this little fit towards my future.


I'm seeking your opinion because I know my decisions will take a huge toll on my mum. I'm her first child...more like her husband and personal adviser now. Do you think theirs another way to go about this without totally looking like a jerk?

Shout out to fellow thread viewers.... Una too much!

*Strictly here to read thread...No commenting*

Bia op...How many times are we going to discuss this matter. Leave these folks alone nah... I feel we're over flogging this issue...Ugly or beautiful it matters not....The only fact that matter here is that not every female would get married in their life time Q.E.D....its not a new phenomena, its being from time immemorial (you can ask ur grandpa if his still alive).

Now to the ladies, I know some of you deep down inside do not want to be controlled by a man (another way of looking at marriage), its ur nature and I totally understand...but the society would judge u, right...so now a lot of u ladies are swallowing ur pride to pls ur parents and the society just to be part of the norm...well I for one do not think any being should pls the society to the detriment of their own happiness.
If marriage is for u pls by all means possible get married...if not, let nobody force u into playing their miserable dogmatic script.. just leave ur life and let them complain...with time the narrow minds would widen....ogwu ka oram n'onu, ndewonu!

*myfreakingopinion*

Pipsland78: ...that he does not have the guts to stand for the truth.

How do you tell which is the "truth" and which is not? pls Answer me

Those that live by sword, will die by the sword! Its blood for blood now, JTF carry on the good work, their is no peace without war and their is no war without casualties! Their must be peace at all cost, ONE NIGERIA

guilty of all charges