₦airaland Forum

nationwide24: Sister, don't go back. When it seemed to have been well, did you notice his behaviour? An old man said, if you want to know whom a man is, give him plenty money. You've already known him. Or do you think he has changed?

I don't think he has changed. I support wot u said. he felt he has acquired money, little money to mess around with girls..I agree with u.he hasn't changed.

Hello nairalanders.m here to update u on d latest gist concerning my first post. let me summarise for d sake of those that were not able to view it.my boyfriend and I got engaged. wev courted for a yr and six months. I was very close to the family. they looked forward to d day of our wedding. he works with one of d new generation banks. wen he was promoted in the bank, he found a new apartment and that was wen our problems started. he suddenly changed.he stopped telling me things. he stopped calling as often as before. he gave out d keys to his room to his female neighbors. whenever I call him to order, he rants and flares up, telling me am a nag.at a point, he stopped calling me. when I paid him a visit for us to talk abt it, he called off our relationship.
now he is bk, pleading to come bk to him.he told me he was duped by some 419guys.he said they used charm on him. he gave them some bank details of his bank.so they stole some money from some customers' bank account. he said nobody knows abt it and he is gradually paying back the money bfor the bank manager finds out. he also gave the 419 guys some of his frnd' s property.
I want you guys to look and judge his story logically and objectively. I sense some lies in his story. ihv moved on like u guys adviced. m OK with my happiness. i jux wanna stay on my own. questions and further advice will b appreciated .

Am so sorry if u didnt get my question correctly. what i said earlier on was that i met my fiancee through his kid sister. she has been my friend for the past five years. now,his brother has broken up with me. my question now is :can i still b friends with her?pls don't misunderstand me, i just need an advice on how to move on.

Hello pals, pls i would like to find out if its advisable for me to still visit my girlfriend.Ive known her when i was in school before her elder brother came into the picture. she is a sister to my my fiancee who just broke up with me recently. you will understand my question if you've read my previous post on how we broke up.

i xpected to see caritas university and madonna uni. its xpensive. students who can no longer afford to pay drop out everyday.

they if their age is revealed, u will judge dem based on that. I tot so too.but now, m not shy or scared of revealing my age to anyone. even if am running out of age or under age. again , wot I fink abt dis age shit is DAT u can't judge someone successfully based on his or her age.I had a friend I was older than.he was 19 and I was three yrs older Dan him.he was very smart and intelligent. he behaves maturely too. I also have a colleague of mine who is 30 but yet behaves so much lyk a kid. his reasonability is very shallow. u cant even engage him in an intellectual discussion. so u see, age is jux a number, not a determinant of maturity and smartness.

pickabeau1: since u say u believe men cheat and u claim not be naive then u will not make statememts like u are too nice or good to be dumped
Also look out for one who will not cheat on u so be more patient.. it is stereotypical statements like this that make u choose bad men since u feel u deserve no better.. atleast get a God fearing man who will try to be faithful


You have other wooers.. move on...

Thanks for your understanding... but u still need to learn more

tnx, ihv learnt from you. keep teaching me more things u feel I should know.

[quote author=pickabeau1]Oh boy,..... see thesis
I was wondering why the focus on owerri myself
In my opinion she is still naive and immature.. she needs to mature a bit
Too much parental involvement
[/quote
tnx for your advice dear. i tot you read my post very well. i said my parents and aunt were the ones who kicked against it because he was from imo state. i never did. i loved him. so much. i know virtually every guys cheat, irrespective of his place. i dont really have any p with cheating men. i knew men cheat even befor i met him. all i did was to play my cards very well as a woman, which i neva seized to do even wen he called off the whole thing. my parents were never involved in any of my decisions. they are still not involved in my present decision. so leave my parents out of this.as for me being naive and immature,hmmmmmmm, everyone with him own understanding sha.

DailyNews: Very sad story!

But then, this has nothing to do with him being an Owerri indigene...I see u @op and others pointing at “Owerri guys are cheats, etc” making a very big mistake here by believing that he left u or cheated because he comes from Owerri, big FALLACY!

How many guys here that come from other tribes, race or region can come out boldly n say they haven't cheated or haven't broken a lady's heart before? I'm not from Owerri but I have friends from all tribes n even foreigners too who are so promiscuous and see women only as se.x objects needed for intimate satisfaction alone just because they're financially loaded. Unfortunately that's how most financially buoyant guys see women except that special one they've formed a long bond with; pls forgive my being blunt.

D sad truth is; d more money a man acquires in life, d more women he attracts and d higher his chances of cheating n keeping many intimate partners, except he is exceptionally close to God. So ladies, as ur partner grow financially, pls upgrade yourself too (in terms of beauty, trend...being more present for him, building more bond via shared hobbies/interest, having constant communication with him, etc).

Tribe has little or nothing to do with a guy cheating or breaking a lady's heart...even d men saying Owerri guys cheat, bla bla bla are also cheating on their wives or girlfriends, so

I would rather blame his profession; most male bankers are unrepentant cheats and ladies are the cause of their cheating habit, how?

Ladies easily fall for these bank guys thinking since they work in a bank, they must be financially loaded to throw money at them.

I have some good number of banker friends and I know what I'm talking about. I have one now who has introduced me to different super-pretty ladies including Chinese ladies he said he would dash me if I want any; meaning he controls lots of women.

To them, women are nothing but people's currency they count n dispense on daily basis.

Cheating has evolved beyond tribe in our time...every tribe or race now cheat. In today world, profession and environment make people more prone to cheating than the tribe or race they come from.

From my honest personal experience, people in the underlisted professions cheat or have higher affinity to cheat:
1. Banking industry (female n male)
2. Oil & Gas Industry (mostly the male)
3. Showbiz/entertainment/movie industries (male n female)
4. Lecturing (majority of male lecturers are cheats; take it or leave it)
5. Medical sector (90% or more of male doctors are promiscuous, and large number of nurses are flirts)
6. Politics (once your lover/husband joins politics, just count your blessings)
7. Clothing/Fashion (guys into women fashion can hardly be trusted and ladies are to blame)
8. Hospitality industry (if your sweetheart works in a hotel, be ready to entertain any news)
9. Transportation (all pilots are promiscuous, most male drivers don't keep one woman...all air hostess are flirts, and most cabin crews are funny)
10. Sports (most sportsmen are cheats)

Does it mean that people in those professions shouldn't be loved or married? Nope...it only requires extra caution, effort and understanding to have a successful relationship/marriage with them.

I remember few years ago when my dad gradually joined politics while my mom condemned the move...the old man refused to listen to his lovely wife and gradually he became strong n was even nominated as our LGA PDP party chairman candidates, my mom saw that d heat was getting hotter she joined him n started following him to every party meeting (since both of them are retired)...she knew d danger n worked to stop it...

Same way, when my eldest brother wanted to contest for House of Rep, the wife fought against it...used every tool she had to discourage him because she know how tough it was for her @present talkless of when he becomes a political icon.

That's how most women u envy their relationship/marriage keep/protect their partners...they don't sit n wait for nature or God to do the whole work for them, so learn to protect your man next time.

When your boyfriend started making d plans to rent a house in a higher institution environment as a working class guy when he's not a student, u ought to have discouraged him by all subtle means...when he moved in there, u ought to have increased your presence to forewarn other prying eyes n desperate chicks that someone has been there and is still there.

If u like relax when u find an Anambra guy cos they are automatically good and reliable boyfriend/husband n watch out.

Some of my Anambra (Ogidi, Nnewi, Obosi and Anam) friends have numerous girlfriends aside their known partners just becos they are financially buoyant.

A frnd of one of my elder bro bought a lady Toyota Venza and took another lady along with him to his business trip to Berlin last year and he is married with kids and also from Anambra. Ask runs girls, Anambra men pay highest...with due respect to my good friends from Anambra, u guys remain my best always

If I go further here, many of u may quit your relationship....so let me stop here...just want to help u guys when making your choices.

People's profession and financial status go along way in shaping their attitude towards sex, romance and love. I know a good number of people from each of d professions I mentioned above and I also speak from experience. Some professions expose people to cheating while some give no room for cheating except the person is a habitual cheat.

Lastly, poster you didn't even help matters; like a poster rightfully said, u didn't protect your relationship so well. When this evil was nurturing, you did nothing to stop it until it developed. Pls when u enter your next relationship/marriage, put more effort to protect it so that u won't end up entering and leaving your partners for other ladies.

So like others advised, move on...don't pester him but subtly let him know that he hurt you and that you're moving on with your life. Also remind him that he failed after people warned you and u ignored them and gave him your heart with trust. Tell him that for every action in life, there is a reaction and don't just accept him if he comes back to his senses.

*if u must accept him back (that's if u are still single when he comes back to his demented senses), sweat him and give him hard conditions which he must meet:

1. Pack out from school environment
2. No intimacy till you guys finally define the relationship's true direction

If he agrees and meets up with the conditions, give him a narrow second chance while putting on a telescope, goodluck and happy weekend.

i really love ur response.but let me make this clear to you. there were many a time when i followed him about, i called frequently, i cooked for him, name them. the fact is jux that he was an ingrate, he never wanted to appreciate. each time i tried to check mate him, he would say i was too over protective and jealous. it even made it seem as if i was too in-secured about him. the truth is that if he really loved me to infinitum lyk he always said, he wouldn't throw away my love to the dogs. i jux wanna allow him to access his newly found princess, and i bet you that she wont b lyk me. he tot there was something in me dat was missing and must be found in other women. let him go .ihav allowed him to go. ihv moved on. and i must let you know that God created me in a very unique way. i hv very attractive personalities. he will surely come back crying to me, telling me is the devil's work. of course is always the devil's work,we all know.m not being proud here, m not boasting. i cant start feeling pained. i cant start feeling jealous, all these may cause to rubbish my self esteem.

passionate88: You elders told warned you about him yet you refused, hw sure am I that you will heed to any advice here?.

please dont judge me. ihv moved on.if i dont wanna heed to your advise, i wont ask you for it. tnx.

pickabeau1: it seems this girl is dik whipped

When he takes u back and phocks u wella n DUMPS u again.. you will understand,,
all this philosphy u been talking since

hahahahahahaha, u funny oh. my dear, its not all abt sex ok. ihv moved on.m jux trying to make people understand what i went through, for them to learn from my story and for them to advice me on how to become more wiser. thats all!

ty-tymer:
Lindee, you are hiding something

ure very free to ask your qestn. tell me, what do u fink m hiding? i wont b shy to answer u.tnx.

lomaxx: Something about this post. Weaklings always move on. They get booted out of their rightful place because they believe they can only be there by the other partner's choice.

God knows how much i value the relationship. he knows that too. u don't call someone a weakling concerning this issue. u can say d person doesn't value d rshp. nobody can be a weakling when it come to what makes him or her happy in life.

muzikndme: Well i dont knw wat to say..I M SORRY IT HAPPN NO BODY DESERVES TO GET HURT IT IS NO INJURY BUT IT CUT SO DEEP DOWN THE HEART.IT IS NOT VISIBLE BUT THE PAIN AND EMOTIONS CAN'T BE MEASURED.NO MATTER WAT HAPPENS THE HEART WILL HEAL ITSELF WITH TIME. life is funny and unpleasent a times but we just have to hope for the best.i was hurt by an anambra girl she was my first and still my last cos havent mustard the strength and encouragement to move on. she thought me everything i know about dating sort of.she cheated repeatedly when i noticed i felt betrayed.
was having plans to take the relationship to the next level cos of her act all i had hoped and planned for came crashing down. No longer have the willingness to go on.i pondered how i was gonna live without her at the end i called the relationship off.it has been 1year and like 4 months now and i m still murning the relationship.But i m ok now cos i m abit focused and hopefully some day will get someone who is truelly mine.
I know she will be making bad utterances in the presents of her friends and other peeps base on the fact that i m from IMO state
and they will not hesitate to say they are not to be trusted.she will not say she cheated on ME repeatedly God knows with how many guys
and when HE find out he left.wat i have notice about relationship is, it takes alot to make a relationship work. It is an institute were you happen to learn and adjust everyday.dont forget you are not dating yourself, You have to think of yourself and your partner their is limited chance of selfishness in relationship,when it comes to that THENMsomething is beginning to go wrong.
Love can be found anywhere cos it has no boundaries it makes us do so many craze things, like feeling like a child again.
cos you got hurt doesnt mean you should not give love a chance when it comes knocking all you need to do is to let the
person you are dating understand you.
I jst hope you did notin to prompt his action .cos if we have the chance to ask him his own side of the story the table might turn
dnt get me wrong, i find it hard to get the truth from women i m always at the middle.it might be true and it might not be true
so i dnt judge base on one sided stories just saying.
In my little time as i struggle with loneliness i have tried to understand how relationship work but sorry to say
i noticed one out of the two involved. will be doing more to make the relationship work and it is not suppose to be so
that is why relationship sometimes doesn't work.
What i have learnt in time about maturity is it's no fun,The only thing that makes a matured mind evolve is love,
as you grow older you get lonelier {PERMIT ME IF THE WORD LONELIER IS WRONG TRYING TO MAKE THE WORDS FIT DNT WRITE OFTEN}things that use to matter to you no longer matters.it is only love that spark up your life in a very unique way.

tnk you.i respect ur opinion so much.i agree u dont hv to judge based on my own story. but let me make it known to you that even if he he being called upon for queries, he wouldnt know what to say, i swear. dats y he has refused to tell his sister who introduced me to him abt d recent happenings in our rshp.he knows they wont support him. but wot m planning to do is to inform her sister abt it. so she can be aware of wot happened. i dont know if its wise enof for me to do dat. jux asking. [color=#990000][/color]

MORN DEW: One thing ppl don't know is dat God is not dumb. Did I hear u say u are prayerful? Does God support fornication? . so becos u pray means d guy will marry u. Or becos u ar beautiful u can't be dumped. Well u ve not said what u rili did wrong. Until u do so I reserve my comment.

i swear, ihv not done something wrong.he even testified to it.Honestly, i was a good girl to him. its jux still a mystery to me. i loved him and he knows that too. i was too good for him.he doesn't deserve me. he couldn't stand the test of time!

Baddie Kay: my dear how often did u spend time with dis ur bf,cos from ur write up t seems u guys barely see/spend time together?i know owerri guys re flirt but i think u gave him enough space to forget about u

I see him every week. even bfor I started dis my small job.d fin here is dat I knew owerri guys flirts. but he was so exceptional. I Neva knew he had a bit of d flirty virus in him.

kay9: I feel for you, my dear.

You said he "burst into tears"; i dont understand, what was he crying about?

yea, he cried so as not to make it seem as if he jilted me and to show fake sincerity.

Dear nairalanders,I met my fiancé last yr February tru his kid sister. she was my Schl mate bfor she got married. we spoke frequently as friends and as time went on, d bond became stronger. He proposed to marry me and I accepted after much thinking and prayers. He seemed to b a nice and responsible guy. my aunt I stayed with during my degree program in sch requested to see whom wanted to marry me. I invited him ova to d house.after much interrogations from my aunt, she told me to forget abt him.but DAT was after he had left. she told me DAT his people are not reliable in marriages. He is from owerri .
After my project defence he took me to his hometown and introduced me to his mum, siblings and relatives. I was loved and welcomed by dem. I felt at home. when I returned to Lagos, I told my parents abt him. dey discouraged me from marrying him. They said his people re not reliable in marriages and their mentality is so different of ours. they advised me to go for our own men.am from anambra state. they told me sad stories of their marriages. I stood aloof to all wot dey said and insisted on marrying him because I tot dey were being tribalistic. I went on with d relationship. he was so anxious to marry me. he started making plans. every time we meet, we always discuss our marriage plans and our future.
He was a contract staff in a bank as at d time I met him. now he has been dissolved and promoted in his office. he rented his own apartment and left his friend whom he was swatting with. my problem with him started wen he became too familiar with dis neighbors who are students of a polytechnic arnd where he lived. one day, he told me how those girls had been cooking and bringing food to him. we laughed over it and never took it seriously. Another day, he told me how d girls pleaded with him to start watching TV in his house. he gave dem a spear key to his room so they can come in at will.I wasn't happy with it. I was so bitter and told him how disappointing his actions were. he stood aloof to all wot I said and claimed I was making issues out of nofin.
He gradually changed by d day.he stopped calling as frequent as before. he stopped telling me things. whenever I asked y he failed to call for a whole day, he would give me flimsy excuses. I was getting hurt by d day.A day came when I decided to take the bull by d horn by sending him a text message. I told him how bitter I felt abt d strange attitude he has been portraying of late. he didn't reply my text or call me. I cried. I was too busy with my job.I work from Monday to Saturday. its jux a small job I do to wait for my nysc mobilisation. I met him on a Sunday and told him I wished to talk abt our rshp.he asked me y I didn't tell him I was coming. I was stunned beyond words. when we got talking , he told me how he had lost interest and affection for me for d past two months. I was shocked. I asked asked him wot went wrong but he couldn't give any reasonable reason. he bursted into tears as he spoke. I cried and wept bitterly. I couldn't bliv ive bin jilted.Dear frnds, pls I need ur advise on wot to do .m only 24. he is 32. m a very pretty Lady .I HV admirers and suitors . he is very much aware of it. he knows m homely and disciplined. I don't deserve to b jilted? m very prayerful. pls tell me wot to do with all honesty. question from u will also b welcomed and answerd with all sincerity. I HV been down with fever for days. pls help me .tnx all.

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