₦airaland Forum

By God's Grace I believe

LilMissFavvy:
She is going to get her child now that she is determined. Believe it or not, she was never serious on getting her child.

I think they are

TheboyGhost:
Are they Igbo?

If yes...

Then it's a long long case to sort

Has been done over 5 years ago but nothing

GUNITGuy:
Please get a lawyer and involve the south Africa consular in Nigeria

Lol

culf:
lol...you're very funny! Shey as nurse you suppose know the techniques and secrets na (I have seen aunty nurse that cannot bear pain, hahaha).
As a guy, I can't even let my child stay 2 months away, even one self talk more of years. Maybe because she is not a Nigerian, I will fight that fight oooo.
You're right, that boy no go know her again, they need to start all over again.

#Aunty nurse I'm having stomach abi chest pain, what do I do?

Easier said than done

asahnwaKC:
She should plan and kidnap the boy…. Periodtttt

Imagine! But I'm sure the child know cause the neighbor talks to him and always tells him his mother loves him and will fetch him. Apparently he's tried running away from home twice, stating he was going back to his mother in South Africa cause he was tired of suffering

Chinny024:
How will I dash someone my child na... Haaa,after labour pains and hot fire....The only pain that has moved my brain to default setting even as a nurse...
Omo,I can't... Anywhere am going, gummed to my body ooo...How could they intimidate her to such an extent?...
They only wants that child to forget her and once detachment sets in,forget it...She will be a stranger to her own child..Tufiakwa

Thank you!! People are soo quick to judge and some think the family has just been sitting around for the last 11 years just sending money to Nigeria while Aunty lives her best life. She started trying to get her child back a few months after her husband passed away. She had to extend her stay while she was there because they kept giving her the run around telling her they need to perform some rituals for the child. She's been to Nigeria numerous times. I read a story about an American attorney who's children were being withheld for 3 years and it was only the FBI and another organization that I forgot that eventually got them back. American /Nigerian embassies, Nigeria private investigator, Nigerian police all failed and she had in all spent over $50 000. So does that mean if someone does not have access to the FBI or $50 000 then they should not get their child back?

imadiyi:
Uhmmm, na so! Which court? Forget that thing. You think say na abroad you dey for yia. This na Nigeria where those kind ruling nor dey work, especially as e com involve a non-Nigerian.

You think a Nigerian can just go to South Africa to lay claim to a child after the demise of one his/her parents. Easier said than done! Na one chance she enter Soo; she knows. You think she has not complained to South Africa and Nigeria embassy before bringing it to social media. Uhmmm, I laff in Ibibio....

I understand that Imadiya, but they way things are going, the boy is getting older. They won't be able to hide him away from his mother forever. Infant he may grow to resent them for putting him through hardship while his mother was alive and very much willing to have him and take way better care of him

imadiyi:
Considering the xenophobic attitude of South Africans towards Nigerians in South Africa, they may not see her son as theirs. And this, perhaps, might be contributing to why the boy's family is unwilling to release him.

Also note that he may be the only child of his father, and as such, the family feels releasing him is a loss, as he may not visit them in his life time, due to his injurious mindset and the current hungry stance of the country (Nigeria).

She has been trying to get him back

culf:
very true. I'm surprise she allow the child stay with them till now.

What is abandonment?

magicminister:
Regardless of the circumstances, how do you abandon your child for 11 years?

We will look into the organization, thank you

ElGood:
The mother of the child should contact NAPTIP and lay a claim of forceful child adoption. Within 7 days she will get her child back and the people will be arrested and punish.

I really don't understand how some people think that's even debatable, especially when the said in-laws are doing a very bad job at taking care or the child and have seized all communication between mother and son because the child always asks her to fetch him when they speak over the phone. They no longer send and pictures of him or anything

Mindlog:
The child belongs to both father and mother, now the said child's father is late, the woman has 100% right to the custody of their child and not the man's relatives.

The South African mother is getting custody of their son, irrespective of the late husband's tribe

We are in communication with them

okooloyun1:
This is the best solution.

Yes he had a passport 11 years ago when he first entered Nigeria at 9 months old. That passport has obviously expired so she wouldn't be able to "smuggle" him out & if she tried & got caught. What would the outcome be = more stress and delays & what if the sister-in-law comes with relevant papers claiming my Aunt is the one in the wrong and the child is released into her care... While the authenticate her document/DNA, what happens to the child ESPECIALLY if he's sent back to sister-in-law

DearGorgeous:
I prefer this method.

Yes she has

frankfrank:
Did she contact south Africa Embassy in Nigeria?
They can help her take up the issue

Aunty is Zulu, late husband I think he's Igbo I'm not 100% sure

waterpouroverfl:
Tell us the tribe

100% true

Richy4:
You can't smuggle a child outside the country so easily like that nowadays buddy.. Many countries are strict on child trafficking nowadays...

Yes she might be the mother of the child, but if challenged at the port of entry, does she have an instant prove to show that she is indeed the mother?..No pictures on social media where herself,the kid and family members were bonding, nothing... for her to prove her innocence, she might stay behind bars for weeks.. pending when DNA comes out...
She should just follow the right process..

Thank you

SPAMBOX7:
Lol na Nigerian Embassy go help her collect her pikin? Wow.. seems like your aunt a Dumbo hence deserving of whatever she getting no sympathy for her here. Bye

You can say that again! I'm sure my Aunt curses the day she met her late husband. Even though he was a great husband to her. The experience his family has put her through is enough to cause anyone heartache for a few lifetimes

BRATISLAVA:
It's not nice. Must be traumatizing for the parent who had the child taken.

If they're enslaving her child while she sends them money, they are the cruel type who will keep the child away from her out of spite and greed. Maybe they are building a mansion with her payments and won't let go of the child until it's been completed.

It's kind aspect of intercultural partnership people really need to look into. You can get the perfect spouse with such a different Mindset to yours culturally. And that's a recipe for pain and disaster.

Alexiiydon was right, we obviously don't know 100% if they are taking care of the child. But from the next door neighbors account (since she's the only one who sometimes has direct contact with the child), sometimes she does not see him for weeks and it doesn't Mae sense since he passes by her house on the way to school. When she talks to him and the late husband's sister sees, she questions him on what they were talking about and they beat him up. Sometimes he doesn't go to school ad has to sell water at the market, before he could properly talk the Sister and grandmother used to allow her to speak with her son on the phone, but since he started talking and asks her to fetch him during all phone calls. They no longer allow communication between mother and son, the neighbors tried letting the boy communicate with his mother using her phone and when the sister found out she beat the boy & told the neighbor to stop. The neighbor has on two different occasions found the boy wandering the streets at night saying he was running away to his mother in South Africa because he is tired of suffering. All those thing combined and the fact that she never gave her child away is what is punishing all of us to try help with getting the boy back

Alexiiydon:
did he say they didn’t take care of her?all you the obituaries make una Dey get sense before una Dey type

Thank you, we are in communication with them as I type

Ronjule:
Berekete family will handle this issue successfully

I'm starting to believe so too

BRATISLAVA:
It mostly is. "My children" rather than "our children". Same mentality his family are displaying. They believe men own the children.

That's your opinion and that's okay but the person who wrote the article is a 29 year old niece. My Aunty was the one married to a Nigerian man and her child is being withheld from her. Yes I've been reading articles of different topics on Nairaland for many years but I have never come across one where a sister-in-law was withholding her late brothers child/children from their mother. But even if I had and had warned her, I was still in high school when my 46 year old Aunty started dating her late Nigerian husband. And was fresh out of school when they went to Nigeria. I'm not here to judge , just trying to help a mother reunite with her son

BRATISLAVA:
She's getting her introduction to Nigerian men.

She knew of the forum and never read how they treat women and children as their property. Today she expects the same people to give her advice.

I hope she finds the help she needs here, and not at the Nigerian embassy, since her child isn't a South African citizen.

But HOW would she smuggle the boy out of the country via air travel when the boy no longer has a valid passport (we assume since they stopped communicating with Aunty 5 years ago, she only has contact with a neighbor and the neighbors sometimes goes weeks without seeing the boy). Aunty still has a copy of the expired passport, the boys South African birth certificate listing her & late husband as parents, she has his clinic card for the immunization shots he got and pictures. I thinks she would be breaking the law if she tried that & if she got caught it wouldn't end well for both her & her son

Aaaaarghmed:
This is a simple case but your Aunty is not going about it the proper way,she needs a Nigerian to guide her,if possible to smuggle to boy back to South Africa

Very sad

Kobonaire234:
This isn't a Nigerian thing.

It happens all over the world, and even within other countries. Families withholding children from their parents

It is even worse when two countries are involved.

One case involved an American man. His wife (from Brazil) divorced him and ran back home with their son and her new lover. Man tried to get his child back through legal means...e no do. It took the man involving his Senator...who just happened to be on a comittee that was looking at a trade deal with Brazil....before his son was released to him.

.

Very true, it's been a very sad 11 years. The whole experience even blurs the fact that her husband was a good man, everything has left a very bitter taste in her mouth

grandstar:
The only explanation for this is greed! It is best they get a good lawyer to fight this case.

The man's family had sinister motives from the word go. Why did they not let him take his child away with him when he first visited with his South African wife? The poor mother

Thank you, we're on it

GistFullGround:
Take the matter to court. The Nigerian court system will get the child from those vampires

So the child belonged to the husband, then he passed and he "belonged" to his parents, they both passed and now he "belongs" to the sister, if she passes on who will he "belong" to then? He's busy being moved around ownerships like a piece of unwanted furniture when his mother is still alive

Daniel058:
if the Man paid Lobola , then the child belong to the man and his family, that's Igbo tradition (assuming the late husband was from Igbo tribe)

She wouldn't want to do anything or say anything to push the sister-in-law. She seems very unreasonable and somewhat vindictive for whatever reason. They abuse the child already, we recently saw a picture of him and he looks very skinny and sad. Goodness knows what they would do if she publicly spoke out about her on a radio station and gave their names and everything

Sayfact:
she should go to Agidigbo radio station in Ibadan ,they will fight for there right to get Access to her son

Sorry about that, I'm new to the forum so I've been trying to navigate how things work for the past few days. Some things are easier said than done, Aunt has another child so she can't go to Nigeria for extended visits and she has a 9-5 so she can't take too much leave from work. If she does and is fired, then she won't have any money to see her son or send to support him. Sadly she had never been to Nigeria prior to when they went for a visit when the boy turned 9 months. So she doesn't know any community or church members. She became acquainted with the neighbor because she could tell while she was there for the funeral that communication with direct family members was going to prove difficult

jmichael259:
Lummoni no reply to any comment yet.
I think the man knew he was sick and told the family who now schemed this.
Was the man the only son of the family? Does she solely intend on caring for her son as a mother or to really snatch him away from them forever(their fear)? Can she locate them if asked to get to the address now? Does she have nigerian accomplices? (keep the neighbor aside)

It'll cost much money!

Whatever you decide, Never ask them for the child again or feel so pained when you see him. 1st strategy is keeping your cards to your chest.
You can visit randomly for a weekend (with multiple entourage ofcourse) never stay the night in the village. Make them realise you're just coming for visit not to take the child.

2)Mark your territory. Acquaint with some neighbors, relatives school, church &villagers as their late brother's wife and the boy's mother. Reestablishing ur face to the child because if you be caught anywhere with a child that doesn't know you, you're finished.
QUOTE ME 4 OptionB!!!

Thank you so much for the helpful info. We are currently in contact with someone we got off the forum and things are looking positive. I'm not 100 sure but I think he's in Abuja, they only had one child

Mindlog:
Your Aunt has the right to the sole custody of her son not her late husband's relatives as their continued custody of him is illegal.

Which state in Nigeria, is your nephew in?

Your Aunt should get the South African High Commission in Nigeria involved likewise FIDA
(International Federation of Women Lawyers) South Africa as they will contact their Nigerian affiliate that has offices in almost all the states in Nigeria to look into it

The welfare of the child is paramount and by the way, is it only the boy or is there a sibling also?

Thank you very much IbeChris

ibechris:
This is horrible!

Call brekete on the line below.

To join in the Brekete Family Programme, You can call this number Monday - Friday

090-99-88-77-00 - International Calls only
080-33-22-11-49 - Local calls only

She does not need any police. She needs a lawyer and an organisation such as NAPTIP and Brekete.

TOLL FREE LINE
0800CALLNAPTIP (08002255627874)
SHORT CODE: 627
Email: info@naptip.gov.ng
Phone: 07030000203
ADDRESS
No. 2028, Dalaba Street
Wuse Zone 5, FCT Abuja. Nigeria


Call them and narrate all this to them...u are sure of getting justice from the first organisation as listed above.

If u can't get then reply me. I will send another number from next week.

Thanks and good luck to u.