₦airaland Forum

I married with a salary of 25,000. Then the 25k turned zero within a year or two because she advised we reorder our steps. She waited and was patient (but nagged atimes... Lol). We moved to my parents place even slept on their bed. But less than 364 days later, my wife can pay a salary of 60k to anyone comfortably from her housekeep allowance (just ignore me o... I sabi brag! Lol).
No hard and fast rules about marriage. He can earn millions now and grow broke soonest. He might earn 60k and grow richer or even broke later. Let God lead the way always.

This question is very technical but I'm sure many students will get carried away with the "jokes". What they will miss is that "Silver Jubilee" birthday. What's silver Jubilee? It's actually 25 years. Many will miss that. That means 25 - 18 (chioma present age) = 7. Simply the question is... In 7 years time, will 32 million naira outworth 45 million naira @the rate of 7.5%pa using Compound interest (uno = unless noted otherwise).

Idrismusty97:
Wow. Seems like it is most clearly visible in the far North. I thought the coastal cities will see it the most.

People along the coastal lines will probably see it less cos it's cloudier here than you North!

Ikorodu Lagos is just too cloudy to sight the blood Moon!

Tehila07:
I had thought that love has bigger roles to play in marriage. I was wrong. I got married at 36 when I thought I had seen someone who loved me.

While dating, I was not spending money on her because she has a job and was not complaining. I ride okada for a living, hoping to go into a business soon. Before marriage, I used to have spare cash of about 10k always. Even if that 10k is spent on something, I would recover it within a week. She told me that if money she spends on feeding and what I spend on feeding are added together, we will feed ourselves, and save more. But since we got married, I labour hard to ensure she has whatever she needs. Now I'm stretched to the limit and can't cope anymore. She has money in her bank account, but said she's saving for raining days. Anytime she wants to perform online banking, I do it for her. Two days ago, I wanted to buy data, I transferred money from her account to the seller, brought out the money and told her seller accepts bank transfer and I don't want to go and queue in the bank for lodgement. I would have informed her first, but she was busy attending to visitors and her phone was with me. She was angry and said "I will change my password." I replied that the only favor she did me was saving my journey to the bank. She said if she has cash in hand, she would be tempted to spend it. So, it's me that should not have savings?

I don't feel like having sex again, because of the depression and she is now angry that I'm turning her down. Now I'm planning to leave home and return whenever my situation improves. She can cope because she has enough money.

Why the financial pressure on me is too much is that we are both 36 years old and friends keep trouping to our house to wish her well. As a man that manages resources, I entertained guests from my family once for the past two months we got married because it's not my town but hers. She keeps asking me for money to entertain guests. Some friends made it a habit of visiting twice weekly, while she keeps showing me off. When she asked for money for food yesterday and I told her I had no money, she has been moody since then, thinking that I'm hiding money from her.

This was a woman, that, last week, when I said I couldn't afford a particular asoebi that only concerns me because it's costly, went to the market, bought it, and took it to my tailor. Judging from her recent actions, I won't wear that cloth except I'm able to refund the money.

P.S: Love is just a rhetoric - humanity died long ago.

Your woman loves you so much and you have no real problem but imaginary ones. She still wants sex with you, still buy you asoebi, still cares about you.
She is still one of the sweetest woman have ever had of. Abeg send me her number if you wanna give her up cheaply.
Don't let inferiority complex take the best part of you. Women are highly convoluted especially when they are the ones with the upper hands financially.
Forgot this your minor issues and smile with her and shag hee well every now and then. Also stop forming this manly ego it's unnecessary. Respect her cash and virtual money if she doesn't authorize it yet stop using any of your own initiative on someone else's money.
Enjoy your marriage, bro!

innobets:
Messi 5th ..

I never believed dat goal was even nominated as one of the best goals

It was actually a fantastic goal

Originalsly:
This is the point of the write up.... we can use these terms and communicate very well with other Nigerians ..... but to others....communication becomes a big problem. If you are aware...and can use the terms correctly when needed to...then you wouldn't have a problem. If not...then misuse of such terms can make you lose job opportunities and a lot more..... and you wouldn't have a clue. Soo many want to work with multi national corporations.... but in such corporations your ability to communicate is very important.
If we are only interested in communicating with our fellow Nigerians...then this should be of no interest to us...after all...who English epp?.. in fact we shouldn't even be here in Nairaland.

we no how to do our things nao...my post is just for read and improvement esp. when non-Nigerians are involved. I once had a friend from Barbados (wish you could hear my pronunciation). The girl was just correcting everything I pronounced then I knew our English don metamorphose! Cheers!

erico2k2:
OP, this is a case of Blatant assumptions, you just copy and paste without researching how the article relates to Nigeria.

Your thoughts!

[quote author=IMASTEX post=69716646][/quote]I am not the author of this article tho. A Prof. (PhD.) or so did it

But I think I can try.

It has been used. (means that process has been completed and not continuous. Your money has been used to feed your friends -means "we don spend your money finish to feed ur guys"

It is being used. (this is a continuous statement and the process is still ongoing. The process could still be repeated. Your money is being used to feed your friends - means we are currently spending ur money to feed your friends...the money fit still remain)

I hope you find the above helpful. I no be prof sha o. Cheers!

Gratefulheart1:
POINT OF CORRECTION HERE BEFORE YOU START TO MISLEAD THE SHEPPLE. YOU NEED TO MAKE FINDINGS BEFORE POSTING SOMETHING LIKE THIS. YOU'RE TRYING TO CORRECT OTHERS WHEN 90% OF YOUR CORRECTION IS WRONG. ALMOST ALL ENGLISH WORDS HAVE MORE THAN ONE MEANING.
THE ONLY ONES YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT ARE GO-SLOW AND FLASH, BUT THOSE ARE EVEN PIGIN/NIGERIAN-ENGLISH WORDS, NOBODY SAID THE WAY WE USE THEM IN NAIJA, IS THE CORRECT DICTIONARY MEANING; WE ONLY CUSTOMISED THOSE WORDS FOR OURSELVES.

THEN NOBODY USES TROUBLESHOOTER TO MEAN 'CAUSE TROUBLE', THE WORD I HEAR PEOPLE USE IS 'TROUBLEMAKER'

OGA TEACHER OP, ALWAYS MAKE FINDINGS BEFORE CONFUSING YOURSELF AND OTHERS

I wonder why people feel when they know something, that knowledge (or at least anyone that points it out correctly) should be suppressed!
Is it a sort of glorification? Or is it to make us see you actually know?

Anyway, You are the one assuming here thinking everyone knows what you know!

Mind you, my post is not for self-gratification. I learnt a big deal from it also, if you need anything therein pick it and if not just read!

I have, severally, seen people misuse "troubleshooter." Even as basic as "lose" and "loose" & "faithful" and "fateful" seem, many still don't know the where to use them correctly!

Lol . Lucky you. Just thank your parents and your geographical location, partly! Cheers!

Lastly, you are free to contact the actual author!

This is a very helpful piece. Help push to FTC; Help Nigerians learn

English words that make Nigerians say the opposite of what they mean
by Farooq Kperogi (PhD)

In this week’s column, I bring to light Nigerian English words and expressions that mean the opposite of what they are intended to mean when spoken to native English speakers:

1. “Offer course”/ “run a course”/”take a course.” I’ve grouped these expressions in one cluster because they are related, and occur primarily in university settings. Nigerian university and high school students often say they “offer” a course where native English speakers would say they “take” a course. For instance, in response to one of my Saturday columns deploring the discontinuation of the teaching of history in Nigerian secondary schools, someone wrote to tell me that he was the only one in his class who “offered history.” It had been a while since I heard someone say or write that, so I was initially puzzled. It didn’t take long, though, to realize that he meant he was the only one in his class who “took history” as a subject; others too government.
This popular misuse of “offer” in Nigerian English has real consequences for mutual intelligibility in international communication. In my December 18, 2011 column titled “Top Hilarious Differences between American and Nigerian English,” I recounted the story of a Nigerian who “wrote to tell me that an American university admissions officer was bewildered when she told him she wanted to ‘offer a course in petroleum engineering’! I told her in America-and in Britain-students don’t offer courses; only schools do. To offer is to make available. Students can’t make courses available in schools; they can only take or enroll in courses that schools offer.”
So the school “offers” the course, the teacher “teaches” it, and the student “takes” it. A student can’t offer a course.
A similarly puzzling Nigerian English phraseology is the use of the word “run” to indicate enrollment in a course of study, as in, “I am running a master’s degree in English at ABU.” That expressive choice became mainstream, at least as far I am aware, after I left Nigeria. That was why when I first heard it I thought the person who “ran” a course was the director or coordinator of the course. This was how the conversation went:
“Hello. I am running a postgraduate course in mass communication at the University of Nigeria, Nsukka, and need your help.”
“Let me get this straight first. Do I understand you to mean that you’re the postgraduate director of the mass communication program at Nsukka? If yes, what help do you need from me to run the program?”
“No, I am not a postgraduate director. I am a PhD student.”
“A student? How do you run a program as a student? Are you a student assistant to the postgraduate director?”
“No, just a student.”
“OK. So you mean you’re enrolled in a PhD program?”
“Yes, that.”
This conversation took place many years ago. Since then, I’ve heard and read many Nigerians say they are “running” a course when they mean they’re enrolled in a course. I frankly have no idea where that construction came from. But to run a department, a course, a program, etc. is to be in charge of it, to direct it, to control it.
Maybe the expression is an incompetent mimicry or misapplication of the idiom “run its course,” which is used to say that something starts, continues for a time, and then ends, as in, “I didn’t take medications for the catarrh; I just let it run its course.” But to use the idiom in place of “enrolled for a course” is simply perplexing.
I also recently became aware that Nigerian lecturers now say they “take a course” to mean they teach it. One Prof. Richard Akindele, who was recently fired from Obafemi Awolowo University for demanding sex from a female student in exchange for better grades, wrote about courses he “took” the student who exposed him. How does a lecturer “take” a course he or she teaches? A teacher teaches a course and a student “takes” it.

2. “Customer.” In Nigerian English a “customer” simultaneously refers to one who buys and one who sells. That’s why both buyers and sellers call each other “customers” in Nigerian markets! In Standard English, however, only the buyer is called a customer.

3. “Troubleshooter.” Many Nigerian English speakers call troublesome people “troubleshooters.” But “troubleshooters” are the exact opposite of troublesome people. The standard meaning of a troubleshooter is someone who remedies troubles. In other words, a troubleshooter is a peacemaker. I think the word Nigerian English speakers are looking for is “troublemaker,” which actually means one who causes trouble.

4. “Thank God!” Many Nigerians say “Thank God!” in response to an expression of gratitude to them. Every Nigerian understands that to mean, “The credit belongs to God, not me, because it is God who bestowed me with the means to do what I did to you.” It’s born out of religious modesty. But native English speakers won’t understand it like that. They use the expression “Thank God” to mean they are happy something bad didn’t happen, as in, “Thank God no one was hurt after the car summersaulted!” or “Thank God he didn’t embarrass us.”
So saying “Thank God” after someone says “Thank you” to you can only mean one of two things to a native English speaker. It can be interpreted to mean, “Thank God you realize that I did you a favor,” indicating that you initially acted as if you were entitled to the favor for which you’re now thankful. Or it could be interpreted as, “Thank God that you have sense enough to say ‘thank you’,” suggesting that you normally don’t say “thank you” when someone does you a favor.
The conventional idiomatic responses to expressions of gratitude among native speakers are “you’re welcome” (which used to be regarded as an Americanism but which is now used all over the world, including in the UK), “not a problem,” “you bet,” “(it’s) my pleasure,” “don’t mention it” (a peculiarly British expression that is now going out of fashion), “think nothing of it,” etc.
In the United States, people who want to demonstrate the sort of modesty that makes Nigerians say “Thank God” as a response to someone who thanked them say “Thank YOU!” with the emphasis on “you.”

5. “Scratch/itch.” Itching is the uncomfortable sensation that we feel on our skin, which causes us to scrape it with our fingers; “scratching” is the act of relieving an itchy sensation by using our fingers. But it’s common to hear Nigerians, particularly children, say their body is “scratching” them. When a child in Nigeria told me his body was “scratching” him, I told him to “itch it”!

6. “Farfetched.” When Nigerians say “the reason is not farfetched,” they mean “the reason isn’t hard to find. But farfetched means “unlikely,” so saying “the reason is not farfetched” is the same thing as saying “the reason is not unlikely,” which is a meaningless double negative at best.

7. “Sell market.” This expression has origins in Nigerian Pidgin English, but it now regularly occurs in informal Nigerian English. It is said when a trader has a good day in the market, that is, when many customers buy the trader’s goods. In Standard English, “sell market” would be understood as literally selling the land and shops in a market to a person or a corporation.

8. “Flash.” In Nigerian English, this word means to call a phone number and hang up immediately. Of the word’s many Standard English meanings, the one that native English speakers instinctively relate to is the act of exposing one’s unclothedness in public. I once narrated the story of a native English speaker who ran as fast as his legs could carry him when his Nigerian friend said to him, “let me flash you so you can have my number”! “I didn’t want to see the naked body of an old man,” he told me. When I told him what “flash” meant in Nigerian English, he felt bad.

9. “Go-slow.” This is the Nigerian English term for traffic congestion, also informally known as traffic jam or traffic snarl-up. In British English, however, “go-slow” is a form of industrial protest where workers deliberately slow down their productivity in order to hurt the profits of their employers.

10. “Homely.” In Nigerian English, this word is used to describe women who are cultured and worthy of being married as wives. In American English, however, when a woman is described as “homely” it means she is ugly.

11. “Pass out.” Nigerians use “pass out” to mean complete secondary school education or the National Youth Service Corps training and subsequent service. In Standard English, the first thing that comes to people’s mind when you say you’ve “passed out” is that you have fainted. A few weeks ago, several of my young Facebook friends who just finished their NYSC service year shared photos of their “passing out.” I was initially alarmed and expected to see photos of them lying unconscious until I remembered that to “pass out” in Nigerian doesn’t mean to faint.
The Nigerian English use of pass out comes from British English where the expression is used to denote graduating from a military training.

Source: https://www.dailytrust.com.ng/amplite/english-words-that-make-nigerians-say-the-opposite-of-what-they-mean-262094.html

Ziggylady:
If voting will count in 2019,i will choose Atiku a tnousand times over buhari because just like in 2015,a disappointment (Atiku) is a million times better than an out-of-World menace like (buhari)

..unfortunately,with the way this horrible buhari/APC are there is no way in hell the peopl's vote will count next year,especially now that defeat is staring APC in the face with the mass defections going on,and likely to get worse..

...Election was won with iron fists. All security tools were set rolling and anyone who dared to stop them was lost and the media sef mentioned not a thing. Sceptre named Democracy was since lost and people were looking for it...
It was all a dream I just woke up from. I've been sleeping since past 7

She just saved herself from been used for RITUALS! Who doles out such huge amount for p*ssy shagging purpose only?

OP Kindly be more practical

joa2013:
My wife and her family members are driving me crazy. Their involvement in my home is becoming embarrassing. I may have to give my wife the red card asap. Her family poke noses into all my affairs. How I spent my money, who I give my money to, who I visit, and so on. All they want is to continue to expend money on them and live my life for them. I got their daughter a job, her salary isn't enough for them, how can I be taking care of able bodied men who have refused to work with their certificates, looking for jobs with good pays before they'll work, their pensioner father is not also helping matters, very difficult to please. I have made it known to my wife that our marriage contract did not include pleasing her family members but she won't listen then I worked my transfer from Lagos to Abuja, yet they're on my neck. My wife's younger brother is presently in Abuja without any clear cut mission other than to come and monitor my affairs. He called me around 7pm yesterday to tell me he's in Utako and that I should come and pick him from pack, I told him I didn't invite him to Abuja so why should I pick him up? I asked him if he didn't have a mission before coming and why he should get to Abuja before notifying me that he's coming to my place. I shunned him and switched off my phone. I switched on the phone now only to read 3 abusive text messages from my wife and one from her father threatening that if anything happens to his son, I'll be held responsible. My people, can you see my life? My pastor have been trying to broker peace between us before I left for Abuja to no avail, what I intended to do is to settle down here and get her relocated so that if she's a bit far from her family, things will work out. I'll instruct a lawyer to file divorce papers tomorrow, I can no longer take it.

Possibly, you and/or your wife are Igbo.

It is not about tribal profiling but this seems so rampant amidst the Igbos. All siblings of the wives, especially, wanting to make it (selfishly) thru their ready-made in-laws. Sir, I am sorry to hurt you but it seems your wife does not love you really or maybe she cherish her family more than the home you were supposed to build together.

Partly, it might be your fault. It might be that you are "sissy" in nature; easily jiltery when threatened or this type with excessively caring hearts without showing your "manly" fist.

I have some light questions. Where are your parents? If alive especially your mum, good. Did you get their approvals before getting married especially from your dad if he was alive during ur marriage "stuffs" because elderly men are mostly keen to see this kind of end from its beginning and would have advised you appropriately.

I feel your pain but dear brace up and cut off this crap. Treat your woman like a woman and draw your lines and tell her the rules of the new game and the severe consequences of not abiding strictly to rules.

If she still play pranks with ur feelings then sorry, she is not your wife. Fucking separate from her and share her a bit of the miseries you have suffered all this long in isolation.

Be tough and the open minded at the same time.

I can write forever on this kind of topics. Let me rest it here....

God wis with you.

GeeString:
Keep consoling yourself, short man.

That man just told you the truth. The biggest "cassava" have seen in an x-rated movie was packed by a short man. Oj my school mate have got a monstrous instrument under him and he's way below 6ft. I no get reach Oj but try me in Lagos and chop a tool as long as the pic below. That's my actual length and I'm a short man o

obembet:
The only A in my waec was the A in my surname

You're crazy no be small

Nothing special...the rat got its neck tucked in someone's ring somewhere and since had been living with it before its death.

why would u raise ur hands against ur gf?


na to slaughter her over eggs (trivia)when u marry her.

Issues in marriage aint even trivial then na to bury her straight if major thing occur in marriage. Chai..

Bro, You aint raised by a queen!

What happened was bad but Fayose was part of this process also cos he trained his people to always look out for "stomach infrastructure." Now APC has beat him to his own game...smh!

Hadecaller:
I'm considering buying a new phone this weekend and I need a very durable phone with sharp camera and a very lasting battery...so any nairalander using either or both of the two...should advice on which to go for please..

there is no confusion on this...RedMi 5

By their words you shall know them. What a height of folly! I also blame the judge for his insensibility to marital issues like this. He clearly lack "common sense" jurisdiction to adjudge this case. Why help brew angry future leaders? The man owns the babies and why can't he castrate himself with induced oligospermia since he wants no babies anymore and it's clear his wife wants no "family planning" done on her.

Shift and let me faint...

sheer risk.

AutoJoshNG:
In an act of sheer bravery, this young Nigerian got into a burning Toyota Prado SUV, in a fire scene, and drove it away from further damage.

This event occurred earlier today at a building on Engineering Close, off Idowu Taylor street, Victoria Island, Lagos.

The inferno was reported to have been caused by some individuals who resorted to refueling a power generator directly from a fuel tanker while the generator was still on.

Thankfully, there was no case of human casualty.

Indeed, this young hero deserves some accolades.

https://autojosh.com/young-nigerian-drives-out-a-burning-suv-from-a-fire-scene-photos/

.

Impressive structures there ...

Naijawebmaster:
This car SAGA taught me a lesson - Always learn to get your priorities right!....Only if they know how much his chemotherapies cost him.

At least, he is not like some celebrities who spend vainly, then when they are truly in need, they publicly and shamelessly appeal for funds from the masses.

2008 Range Rover not even 1991....smh for some people. People that don't even have 2015 model of bathroom slippers.

Need a reliable and professional website design? Then check my signature No advance payment required.

Boldened statement got me laughing hard

THIS GUY CAN PLAN EVIL SHA...AFTER READING THE STORY, THE FROG ASPECT GOT ME....

integrated TV stations (even if not the cable stations sef) on Android especially without the need for app or data-ripping streaming. Just like in my past beloved china phones!

I believe they have long been co-habiting until now. Moral of this...
Always learn to live in peace with your neighbors. No one, I repeat, no one has the monopoly of violence. anyways, it is sad both ways. RIPs to the ones lost.