₦airaland Forum

Safiaaa:
Team up with you to be equal? Well as long as you don’t classify yourself as the head of the home, I have nothing against that. As long as that doesn’t alter your masculinity, I’m behind you 100%

I would absolutely classify myself as head of the home.

Lol at masculinity. How I handle myself will carry enough weight to earn respect.

The fact of the matter is i feel you are set to a certain type of mentality.

Let other people put a label on it.

Your posts over time show it.

I may be wrong but if you have had past experiences that have shaped your perception about men then please understand that even if they were bad it gives you no right to blanket judge men.

Those experiences are based on the men you have met.

Lets say a man is coming towards you. He wants to ask you for directions. In your mind you may think he is coming to toast you. If your mind has already shunned him it will most likely show on your face. Or you might treat him with disdain. Is he likely to be friendly??!! Probably not..He might even react negatively and insult you (which would be wrong of him) but it began with you!!

If you base your perception of men on negativity that is exactly what you will get.

Yesterday I went to get food at a restaurant. It was raining like mad. As I was leaving the restaurant and went to open my umbrella and it was destroyed because of the wind and rain. The "Door" lady gave out this massive laugh to mock me and my umbrella. Your average Nigerian man would have turned around and abused her..."Look at this woman, useless door woman laughing at me". I just laughed myself and walked to my Car. The beauty is I heard here colleague tell her "Why would you laugh at him like that?!". As i turned around she had a look of guilt.

Sorry for the essay but my point is that you haven't reached a maturity level whereby you can rise above "weak vessels" that are there to test you. Like the post "Nigerian men are so confused?" Some are... but Imagine if im a guy crushing in you, or you are in a relationship or married. If im the guy, your boyfriend or your husband. I would be dissapointed because even if it didnt apply to me it would show an attitude of severely distrusting men.

Have the strength to have an open heart and mind but the wisdom to discern. Its not easy. Believe me i get it more than most.

If you don't the only person you are hurting is yourself.

Safiaaa:
As a man, what exactly is your role?

Its so simple to label things...
My parents brought me up with no boundaries...
I was made to clean, to cook etc
In other words, do whatever you can to get the job done.
There are no "roles".
There are many instances where the men are nurturers and the women are providers.

If I was to say as a woman your role is to be in the kitchen, you would descend upon me.
Personally my role as a Man would be to make sure I found a mature woman who would TEAM up with me as an EQUAL to get the job done.

To all those women here who say they like bad guys or imply that they like bad guys I just have one comment...

If you ever complain that a guy has screwed you over......

THUNDER GO FIRE YOU...

You got what you were asking for....

Safiaaa:
Men are naturally supposed to be providers.

There are many nairalanders who reek of hyprocrisy.

This lady here is one of the Commanders in Chief.

Hates when generalizations that apply to her but readily does so to others..

28th Jan...

SA

SA

SA

SA

SA

Still Available

Still Available

Still Available

Still Available

Still Available

Still Available

Gloryr:
Many thanks for your lovely piece of advice...i appreciate....but the price is high for a used ml63 with suede seats and naija used sef.....get real and sell this car ASAP.

Its better you make a profit of 50k in days than keep this car till end of the year and end up making nothing.

Ok, I see your point. So what price would you suggest?

Gloryr:
lovely car ...but that your price is just too high and overbloated.

I'm 100% sure the owner never listed it for that price...its you poor sales men's middlemen that add all your life's problem into the initial cos.

It seems my post has touched a nerve. I'm sorry you feel that way.
I also feel there is no need for you to react in anger. What you wrote is a bit childish.
If you are interested - make an offer. If not then you can move on... There are plenty more options around.
No one can force you to pay.
Cool down on the anger....you will live longer.

More Pics

A Mercedes Benz ML350 4MATIC.
German engineering. German Efficiency
The car is still in GREAT condition.
The only flaw to this beauty is dent of the left hand side of the car (Above the back left tyre).
That aside this car is Tops.
Driven well, maintained well and still used regularly.
The car is located in Lekki
5.5m
Call/WhatsApp 09052291876 (any calls wont be picked - take note!!)

Being Submissive has nothing to do with physical traits.

According to the bible women were created to complete men. Nobody can do anything by themselves.

The problem is understanding in my opinion. Everybody feels submission means becoming a slave..no.

Women are seen as more gentle and meek and as a result are naturally submissive in most cases.

Men are seen as more domineering and more ego driven. As a result if you have a domineering woman there will be a clash and that is why the bible says wives should submit to their husbands as to avoid conflict.

Submission is about accountability. Man/male was created first and was given authority and so God held accountability to Adam even though Eve was at fault. Submission or being Submissive is yielding to Authority.

Why do we kneel before elders? Why do we prostrate before kings. Why do we count ourselves as nothing before God - Authority,

In my opinion it may never be solved as to why the bible suggest wives to submit but I am sure there is a reason for it.

wisdomguy4u:
My fellow nairalanders, pls you guys should follow me digest this my matter. Una fit learn one or two things. 


Around 23rd of Dec 2017, i travelled from benin to my hometown in Anambra state for the Christmas holiday. While on the way i called my fiancee who stays in Onitsha with her parents, i asked her if we could lodge in a hotel when i get to onitsha so i can continue my journey to my hometown the next day. She told me she can't sleepover as her parents won't let her ( as she was expected to cook the next day). So we agreed that when i get to onitsha i will come pick her up and drop her back in the evening.


So when i got to onitsha i went straight to her house. And with the permission of parents , i went out with her (her parents 
knows me ).


We went to a nice hotel in onitsha where i booked a room #9,500 (lodging). We relaxed have some drinks and food. We talked about how our wedding will be. I wanted the wedding to hold around June this year , but she wanted it early. We had a nice time together as it has been months since we haven't seen. 


After some hours together, she said she has to go as her parents would be expecting her. I told her i will drop her and from there head to my hometown. She asked me what about the room i paid for lodging... i told her that we would have to return the key as i cannot sleepover in the room all alone when i know i can still reach my hometown if i leave now. As a smart girl (which she feels she is), she told me that if the hotel workers finds out that I'm leaving,they would just put someone else in the room and pocket the money to themselves (in my mind then i was like that's their luck then). 


As we were about to leave the room , i wanted to return the key, but she suggested i leave the key inside the room and just jam the door so they wouldn't know that we have left until the next day. I asked her why didnt she want the workers to make gain from it; she said the workers didn't attend to us well, that they were forming big girls. I did as she suggested,  jammed the door and we left. I dropped her up in her street and left immediately for my hometown (that was around 6:00pm).


While on route to my hometown i met a heavy traffic jammed around nkpor junction. After an hour or so in traffic, i decided to go back to the hotel and spend the night , and continue my journey on the early morning of the next day, so as to bypass the traffic. 


When i got to the hotel (around 8pm) , i walked straight to the room i earlier booked. But when i tried to open the door...i found out that it was locked. Angrily,  i walked down to query the receptionist on why she should put someone else in the room when i never told her that I'm done with it. 


But to my astonishment,  she told me she didn't give the room out to anybody. She called one of the security guard to accompany us to the room to find out who the intruder is. 


When we got the door, the receptionist knocked . A young boy on his underpants opened the door and asked what the matter was. The receiptionist asked to find out when and how he got the room. The young boy went in and brought out the receipt of payment bearing my name .


At that moment i sensed what could be up, so i pushed the door open and got in, nobody was in the room . i tried to open the bathroom, and noticed it was locked from the inside (In my mind i prayed to God let it not be what I'm thinking).

After several knock on the bathroom door, the person behind the door finally opened it. Behold it was my fiancee (ex-fiancee now).  I was shocked . 


I was so furious that i felt like giving her a sound slap. She was just crying and couldn't say a word (what would she say? She was caught in the act). I called her mother that night to inform her of what happen, she was shocked too. She said she call her on phone and told her she would be spending the night with me as we were setting plans for our upcoming wedding. 


Some girls have fish brain, you met a guy who love you and even got engaged with you. But yet you still mess around with your street boys who couldn't afford to pay for a hotel room or even get his own apartment. This should be a lesson to you girls.


As i enter the new year , i enter with the watchword "trust no woman , fear every woman".  In this new year , may we find our true love. Fake love will not be our portion.

Bro. I wont say I understand what you are going through because I dont. What I will advise is go back to the basics. Find a hobby/passion and put your mind into it. If you get sad then let it out....but shake it off as quick as you can and do positive things. That is the best way to move on. Dont take revenge on other women...thats not fair. Dont take it out on yourself...thats not fair. Lastly. DO NOT GO BACK TO YOUR VOMIT. Move on. As a man we are made jealous beings. If you are strong enough to take her back then try however it will always be at the back of your mind and will affect the relationship in many ways. Have faith. Its not the end. God just showed you the truth. Imagine down the line what could have happened. Marriage of hell. Kids that may not have been yours. Sadness and Depression etc. Thank God and move on. it wasnt meant to be.
Stay blessed.

biacan:
Bluntboy can't you give her a second chance

I wonder if you would say the same thing if the offender was a man....

hmmm.. Thy reputation preceeds you.

fhorlar:
Ok...This is my first time of posting here in nairaland and am only doing this because I feel like am running out of options here. Ok so,my name is ...lets skip the name for now.am 24 yrs of age,a graduate and working class. I have a great sense of humour,fun loving and adventurous. I have been in only one relationship so far (not that am proud of).Am based in Lagos.I am christian and I know am very good looking and attractive with a good physique...to the glory of God sha.
Down to the main issue, i find it hard to like a guy to enter a relationship because of the parameters I have set for myself which I believe am being very realistic and logical with. Once any factor is missing,i loose interest and moresoever, God has given me the ability to easily spot fakes and thats just it.All I need from a guy are my basics which am not just seeing from anyone at the moment. This are the basic things i need in a guy:
I need a guy that first and foremost; a lover of God...not religious or churchy but a lover of God (no Muslims )
Outlook: Caring and presentable
Tribe: I would prefer a yoruba guy because of the kind of family I come from.I just want to avoild unnecessary stress.Any other nationality is welcomed.
Basics ..basics like at least a presentable car,good house, and a stable means of generating good income. I dont really even fancy extremely rich guys and I mean it with all sincerity.
Good prospects...someone that has a vision I can align with.I have a passion for children BTW.
Height: 5.10fts and above.fleshy guys as well.I don't fancy slim/thin guys because am already slim myself..lol
I would prefer a lover of music
Age range:28 - 35 yrs


Pls am I being too unrealistic or materialistic in my search? I am not getting what I want in a man and I shouldnt settle for less right?Where exactly am i going wrong?. kindly advice me or contact me if you feel you have what I want in a man amd vice versal.Constructive criticisms or comments are welcomed.
email:olayblessing@gmail.com

Kind regards

You mean the second time of posting...lol

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(Raises Hand). The next time will be with the wife...Godwilling.

Anything else doesn't make sense.

SA