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The thing is ladies would always complain, and use every attitude as an excuse.... If u are too cool, they wont like it, they would say u are dull, try to be firm, they say u dont love them...

Mynd_44: Silly news

Dude, get a life, and get of my case.

This is for the ladies.... Guys can also comment, from experience...




Ladies, In your dreams you fantasise about the ‘nice guy’. The one, who rings on time, brings you thoughtful gifts, makes you scream out loud in the bedroom, but knows that those dishes in the kitchen won’t wash themselves. The nice guy makes himself available to you, makes you an integral part of his life and introduces you to his mother. Without you asking first.Except, I’m finding that it’s rarely the nice guy that gets any long-term air play!

Yeah, we all like be fawned over, idolised and unchallenged at the beginning of a relationship. It restores to our ego that which we lost when we last ventured into the relationship battle field. But after a while, sooner rather than later when talking about myself, the admiration starts to wear thin. You want to be challenged, intellectually, physically, maybe even emotionally.
The nice guy is almost TOO easy.

I cringe as I write this, as it means I haven’t evolved into the type of woman that thought I was. But I realise that my rebellion against what appears to be “common sense”, is derived from something bigger than my intellect.

My intuition

I’m drawn, physically, spiritually, emotionally, to the Alpha Male. He wets my taste buds and the thought of him makes me high. Yet this Alpha Male I hunger for, he lets me down, makes promises he doesn’t keep. And at any given time, I could be knowingly or otherwise, participating in some kind of Bleep triangle. Or whatever kind of sexual balance he’s seeking at that time.

The Alpha male hunts. It’s in his nature. Always on the move, his illusiveness is intoxicating to a female in season. The Alpha male keeps you guessing and feeds you just enough so you’re not hungry, but never entirely full. The same behaviours the alpha male finds attractive in the alpha female I find. There’s something alluring about a man/woman who’s not too available. I don’t mean distant, and selfish, but that illusiveness that keeps you asking questions, seeking, and learning.

Your intelligence and a quick trip down memory lane, tells you to go for a ‘nice guy’. The sure fire thing. Steady, reliable, transparent.

But does a man loose him power when he completely lets his guard down?

Is there a time scale in which we can show our vulnerabilities and neediness within a relationship? Male or female?

When does a declaration of love stop being erotic, and become a turn off?

And that’s the key difference between the ‘Alpha male’ and the ‘nice guy’.
Timing

The Alpha male knows what to say and when to say it. He has confidence in spades, but can be self-deprecating in the same breath. The Alpha male disarms you with his heady mix of intense charm and casual disinterest. His deal clincher is to appeal to your nurturing side. A second of vulnerability is all it takes. He knows you’re watching him so intently; you’d never miss it. The Alpha male makes you examine yourself.

Am I good enough?

Can I have this man, and if not, then why not?

He becomes something you want to conquer. And when he’s flipped the script on you, and got you thinking that way, well…

It’s game over.

With that whole mind Bleep to contend with, it begs the question why relatively intelligent, post-modern women, don’t lodge the game playing alpha male, in favour of something a little more stable, a little more likely to give us some of things that we honestly want. Are we dumb, blind, mentally unstable?
Why the nice guy never wins!

Granted, the nice guy, turns up on time, answers his phone in front of you (he has nothing to hide), showers you with compliments, listens to you, lets you decide where to go and what to do, backs down first in an argument wanting to keep the peace. But for the nice guy, his blessing is also his curse.

He lacks that” take charge” quality which women seem to find irresistible.

He’s just too damn nice.

He’s got No game!

All his cards are on the table in the first innings. He’s letting it all hang out, and wearing his heart on his sleeve.

Question?

“Why is genuine, unfettered emotion, so often seen as neediness, and why is neediness such a big turn off”. After all , we all have needs?

As I ponder on this subject. I realise the ‘nice guy’ takes on many female traits. He relinquishes the stereotype of modern day masculinity, and speaks his whole heart, showing his vulnerability and insecurities early on. In his enthusiasm for you, he removes his ego, and becomes kind of fearless, subject to his emotions. Real.

I’m sure these outpourings of adoration, constant compliments, and ego strokes are meant to titillate. They definitely warm your heart, and for a while they cater to my insecurities. But rather quickly, they leave me cold. They de-sexualise the man for me. He’s like a lion with no teeth. And I need to hear my lion roar.

My common sense rebukes me for wanting the danger, the opportunity for high drama. Calls me foolish for not being content with being worshipped and adored. But my heart knows’ the 100% no challenge, yes mam, nice guy, will never be for me.

I hunger for balance .For him, and also for myself.

The alpha male, who knows how to take his place, yet in doing so, understands the intrinsic needs of my feminine energy, even the parts of me that resonate ‘Alpha female’. Supposedly his rival.

I guess that would be a nice guy for me.

This is a hotly debated topic with so many single ladies out there. Tell me what you think about The Nice Guy Vs The Alpha Male!!!

Which have you chosen in the past and how has that worked out for you? Come start a debate in the comments.



http://www.mylifestylemax.com/2011/03/the-alpha-male-vs-the-nice-guy/

95% of Nigerian women are bad. Most of what is said on nairaland is true.

real love doesnt exist anymore. Its a fact

What made me cry, and still makes me sad up till now, is my girlfriend breaking up with me... Its just one week and I still feel sad... I Love her very much. Nothing has weakened me this badly, my entire life.

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