₦airaland Forum

For those who havent been to lagos or in case havent entered a danfo. Allow me to try and give you an insight of how a danfo can be approached in Lagos. because i dont know about other cities. This is my 2nd year in Lasgidi the land of SUFFERING AND SMILING.

SITTING ARRANGEMENT IN A DANFO
<-- 1)DRIVER 2&3) PASSENGERS

<--- 4,5,6) PASSENGERS (7 in some cases passengers while sometimes THE GLORIFIED CONDUCTOR )

<--- 8,9,10,11) PASSENGERS

<--- 12,13,14,15) PASSENGERS


BEST & WORST SEATS

SEAT 2 - Not much of a stress interms of sitting, but the only time you'll feel disturbed is when the driver alert the Almighty word RODA thats when you'll become the new conductor. so basically anyone sitting on SEAT 2 is the new conductor.
PS: thats when you dont a conductor in the bus. also the perfect seat. same with 3

SEAT 3 - Thats the most stress-free seat in the whole bus. you get to see the town and learn your routes. BUT you get to wear a dirty seat belt. its the only passenger seat that is "PROTECTED". i call it the presidential seat. they dont care about anybody except you.
PS: Please dont wear a white shirt/blouse and sIt on this seat. you dont need to be told what becomes of your ironed cloth after the ride.

SEAT 4 - this seat is very cool, no change disturbance. Do not seat there if you want to get down before the final busstop. because there is always that one guy or chick that wouldnt want to come down and allow you to pass.
PS: depending on the direction of the sun, make sure you know where the sun is before jumping into that position. you might end up looking like an OILED A.S.S. *for those who watch porn (for men of understanding )* and close to the window for fresh air

SEAT 5 - This seat has almost same wahala with SEAT 2, you'll always be the asst. conductor when there is non. you'll pass money & change till the cows come home.
PS: only solution is to form boss or put on your EARPIECE

SEAT 6 - No much difference between this seat and SEAT 5. but what i normally do is to allow the person SEAT 5 to do the dirty job. for those with GMB Heart you can help o.

SEAT 7 - The only time you'll hate this seat is when there is a conductor, reason is... "HOW MANY TIMES IN A WEEK DO CONDUCTORS AND THEIR DRIVERS HAVE A NICE TIME WITH WATER?". Rush to sit on this seat if you want to come down before the last busstop.
PS: Nice time with, i'm not talking about drinking. do the maths.

SEAT 8 - This seat has similarities with SEAT 4, Remember the sun theory. it will really help you.
PS: oiled A.S.S is real!!!! Avoid it especially if you re visiting your GF, And you'll be close to the window for fresh air.


SEAT 9 - The chilling seat, reason is you dont have a problem unless there is no conductor. Almost same with SEAT 5 or should i say minor problems. calculate that the person sitting on SEAT 8 is not coming down before you, or the sun is not shining too much.

SEAT 10 - Same with SEAT 6 with less stress. but it might turned out for you to be asst. conductor like that of 6.

SEAT 11 - One thing you'll hate about this seat is that it doesnt have a place you'll rest your back. literally you re equal to the conductor, because anytime someone is getting down from your row or the row behind you, you have to come down. trust me dear NLers, giving chance for people to come down is more stressful than passing/collecting change.
PS: Do not seat there if you re stopping at the last bus stop, else you know nah...

SEAT 12 - You'll enjoy that seat if and only if you re stopping at the last busstop. i call it the oven seat. no seat can compete with it in terms NO VENTILATION.
PS: *for guys* Make sure your chick is sitting on SEAT 13 And its night, alot can happen within that short period of time.

SEAT 13 - thats also a last busstop seat. and an oven seat too.
PS: *for Ladies* Make sure your guy is sitting on SEAT 12

SEAT 14 - Thats a bad seat to sit on too, any seat on that row is a bad seat because of the heat. and never seat there if you re not stopping at the last busstop.

SEAT 15 - Its the worst seat to me on the row, you have the same work as SEAT 11 because you will have to shift for the person coming down on the row. in the process they can match your MORUCCI PARUCCI shoe. the heat no be here too
PS: Marucci Parucci is a fake italian designer.


LEST I FORGET...
ONE NIGERIA

theV0ice:


So good to know you speak the language of folks you greatly despise. Imagine a Nigerian speaking English and still hating on England ironic i tell ya

oya 9jii, pls cease fire and let the thread proceed in peace

i dont think he speaks it.. we have google translator now remember.

Who the Bleep is this one telling? whats with all the fucking stale news? abeg[b] Lie[/b]baran maku, we re on certificate saga now. try to keep up. fucking goat prick!!!

sai Buhari

have you been to the north Mr customized?

customized13:
I know of a silly one called arewanation. He's the only learned Hausa I have encountered, he's half a bake anyway.

[size=15pt]please try as much as possible to ignore all the bashings of people from other tribes on NL. i love the way we re behaving ourselves here on this forum. we shouldnt engage ourslves in the tribalistic and sentimental fights. if you feel you have to address an issue on a particular thread, i plead with you to please try and adress it in a matured and convincing manner.

you can start by checking this thread about why (northerners) dont comment or reply any bashing about them. https://www.nairaland.com/2139285/hausas-nairaland-all/2#30591187[/size]


arewatech northernigbo101 gwale 9jii arewaqueen gracile
one nigeria!

GOD bless you sir...

gwales:
I am hausa but I only come here to read ignorance that the so called educated people are spewing

alot of them re hear, WE JUST IGNORE FOOLISHNESS sir... Silence is always golden.

contactmorak:
Have u noticed that whenever someone makes a tribalistic statement against the Hausa tribe, there is little or no response on Nairaland. But the same can not be said with Yorubas or Igbos. Why? Is it that the Hausas(especially the male) are that peaceful and patient or what? I just don't get it!

eemalex:
Do you know how many awards Story For The Gods have won?

schooled in france too?

gneisss:
ok

Sharon6:
Yipppieeeee

Simple26:
Great.

Maczeelly:
#alrice

eemalex:
Is Shuga available on o2tvseries.com for download?

Amefrica:
Nice

englishmart:
T

amakaobiemeka:
.

portaableg:
hmm

ibrews:
H

NlOmg:
Oh..

englishmart:
T

amakaobiemeka:
ok

quote author=amakaobiemeka post=28561364]ok[/quote]cool ... our meeting is by 12am tomorrow! pay your ban fees through this account 1001800180 WE'RE SORRY LTD Nairaland Bank

i should start following this series sef

Hey wahts the condition of the car?! Accident?! AC?! Serious buyer

THE PRESERVATION OF PHARAOH'S BODY

As we shall see later on, Pharaoh regarded himself as a deity and responded with slanders and threats to Prophet Musa's (as) calls for him to believe in Allah. This arrogant attitude lasted until he was faced with the threat of death through drowning. The Qur'an relates that Pharaoh immediately turned to belief when faced with Allah's punishment:

We brought the tribe of Israel across the sea, and Pharaoh and his troops pursued them out of tyranny and enmity. Then, when he was on the point of drowning, he [Pharaoh] said: "I believe that there is no god but Him in Whom the tribe of Israel believes. I am one of the Muslims." (Qur'an, 10:90)

However, this last-minute conversion was not accepted, for it was not sincere. According to the Qur'an, Allah exclaimed:

"What, now! When previously you rebelled and were one of the corrupters? Today we will preserve your body so you can be a Sign for people who come after you. Surely many people are heedless of Our Signs." (Qur'an, 10:91-92)

The information that Pharaoh's corpse would serve as a sign for later generations may be regarded as an indication that his body would not decay. On display in the Royal Mummies Chamber of the Egyptian Museum in Cairo is a mummified body believed to be that of this tyrant. In all likelihood, Pharaoh's body floated to shore after being drowned, was found and mummified by the Egyptians, and then carried to a previously prepared burial chamber.182



Maclatunji

Dude its the era of touch screen... I dont see any dot on my "5"..

Ya'll should guess who is digging oil in that chadian country... SAS.. Ali Modu FVCKing sherriff.. Sigh.

And FG dey complain US doesnt want to give us her cobra helicopters... Smh.

Nigerian politics is worst than university cultism,..

[size=25pt] THE ADAMS FAMILY
SWAT CATS [/size]

[size=25pt] THE REAL ADVENTURE OF JOHNNY QUEST [/size]

Its a CALL OF DUTY all over in Nigeria... I dont know if its the game or reality..! Smh!
God bless our soldiers and Naija

donmalcolm21:
These soilders are dying everyday trying to keep us safe and all we do is to criticize them and threaten them with ICC and Amnesty Intl. Theses are the problems: APC, Tinubu, GMB, NYAKO, Chad, Ali modu Sheriff, sahara reporters, ereporters, punch, ACF, Northern Elders and THE Nation newspaper

At first you made sense till you started to mention the bold... Whats the difference between you and the people criticising the khaki boys?! They criticise and you BLAME. So shattup sir! Ya'll re the same

Dear Naija... I dont even understand if its a CALL OF DUTY or reality... God bless our soldiers!!!

xpressword:
Reports have it that famous and
wealthy talk show host, Oprah
Winfrey, has just 12 more weeks left
here on earth.
It was said that Oprah was given the
shock of her life when a routine check
up turned into her having less than
four months to live following a stage 4
cancer diagnosis.
However she said, “I’ve made more
money than I could spend in a life
time, but I’m going to enjoy seeing
what kind of dent I can put in $2
billion in 3 months”.
In addition, sources claim that Oprah
said she will spend half of her fortune
making a few lucky fans dreams come
true, donating the rest and while
leaving something for her dog and
Steadman.
And contrary to what people would
expect, Oprah is not sad, claiming that
she said, “why be sad when I can buy
a small country, name it Oprah, and
live forever.”

Come and buy Nigeria biko...

BetaThings:
"They think"?
or YOU project?
Please there is no group of people in Nigeria that don't know that there are different tribes and different regions
So you really think that you can push the idea that a Kano man thinks Jonathan is from the North?
Or does not know that Bayelsa is not close to the Atlantic?
The average Hausa man loves his radio and news
You need to educate yourself and stop posting as if this is a forum for primary school pupils!

Exactly what i ws trying to tellthe confused pecca !! Is it that the northerners dont know where otuoke is, so they can bomb GEj ppl or what?! So if they re against his teign why kil or injure themselves in the name of fighting GEJ who s not a northerner?

Pecca:
THEY ARE KILLING THEIR PPLE because THEY THINK THAT NIGERIA IS THE NORTH, THEIR PPLE THE CITIZENS. THE SAME REASON THEY KILLED AFTER LAST GEN ELECTIONS

That doesnt make any sense what you just said... Its lik sayin you will start burning your clothes just bcz your landlord is not reducing your house rent.

papalnuncio:
my dear friends, y r u guys trowing blow on each other in nairaland?
they don't want G.E.J to rule, they believe one thing, if they don't rule it is an abomination b/cos an infidel is ruling and the only way to stop the infidel is to kill every one.
my friends, we are not afraid they should not stop cos G.E.J must continue till 2019

Only way to stop GEJ is by killing everyone?! Or you mean GEJ killing them?! Because you re so confused sir. How can they kill there people just to prove they re not in support of his reign?! Why cant they go and just kill GEJ people to prove they re not supporting his reign?! You need help to understand this simple comedy?!

Fidelis5:
because GEJ is not a northerner or westerner dats why u all chose to kill urselves by the way dn't dos northern states av governors every thing u all keep calling Gudluck

Does this sentence sound right to you sir?! Because GEJ is not a northerner then northerners will kill Northerners?! Sigh. Just because my step-brother got a job before me, i will start tearing my credidentials one by one?!

Emma3030:
Buhari decleard his presidential ambition without any bomb blast, Atiku decleard without any bomb in the city,and now Jonathan is about to declear his presidentioal ambition, there are bomb blast in the school in expense of the life of poor innocent children to attract sympathy to rubbish the regime .The question is, any connection between those who is opposing his re-election and the bomb

Sorry to interrupt, but dont you think it will better if the "people opposing" his re-election rather bomb his people from his region than bomb their own people?!

I'm one of the team buhari members too... But i'm a little occupied today so i cant make it. Nevertheless, this is my email. Marvelony@gmail.com
Pls keep me upto date. Thanks
Sai Buhari
#TeamBuhari
#Hope15

Its not delivered, it turns blue when you read it...

Please read seun

I was quite moved by the way both Christians and Muslims came together during the prayer sessions for our global week of action. Muslims were around to support the Christian service on Sunday and Christians did the same on Friday for Muslims. It showed that there was no telling what we could achieve if we were to come together. This stayed with me on Monday till I came across a document, which I’d seen before: Prophet Muhammad’s Charter of Privileges to Christians (Letter to the monks of Saint Catherine Monastery).
It inspired me to do this; I wanted to share it with the group and anyone who cared to listen. It also spurred me on that UNITY is the U of our H.U.M.A.N.T.E.E.D.S core-value at #BringBackOurGirls Abuja. I spoke to Maureen about it and asked for time to put something together so I could present to the group on Tuesday. I couldn’t do it on that day though because I was yet to establish the document’s authenticity.
I did and it turns out there have been doubts about it; it’s believed to have been edited from its original form. So I decided not to do my presentation based on that but on other important points I’d put together from the little I know as a Muslim.
Asides Boko Haram and ISIS, which the world has established are totally bonkers for their ideology, kill anyone who doesn’t agree with them, Nigeria is no stranger to religious intolerance. In recent times we had the 2011 election riots and the recurring violence in Plateau State. It also brings to mind the CAR violence. These are people like you and me that just turned around and started killing each other. How do people get there?
I was born in Lagos and started school there, up to primary 2 when we moved to Bauchi and I was enrolled in a new school. I’m a Muslim and one mistake I made on getting to the new school in Bauchi was making friends with pupils that weren’t Muslims. In Lagos, which was more cosmopolitan, I had friends such as Yemisi, Ebuka...the only Muslim friend I can remember was one Hidaya. I had no idea that I wasn’t supposed to be friends with Amara, Ebele, Abiodun, Ijeoma... It made me something of a pariah or at least the odd one out for quite a while, almost till class 5 when I left the school. Young children at that age had divided themselves into the 2 groups and whenever the bell for break-time rang, there was a race to “book” the swings and other attractions in the playground. If a Christian got to a swing 1st, the Muslims were not allowed to play there for that day and vice versa. Muslims were not to have anything to do with Christians outside of the classroom, vice-versa for the Muslims.
I was still a child when the Tafawa Balewa riots happened in Bauchi, I was in Kaduna for the holidays when the Zangon-Kataf pogrom happened and because I was an avid CNN watcher then, I also knew about the Bosnian war as it was happening. These events really traumatised me and till today when I have nightmares, they’re almost always about sectarian violence.
Not much has changed as far as I know. Look around you at the way some of us treat each other because of religious or tribal differences. I want my fellow Muslims and most importantly my Christian brothers and sisters to understand that there is no basis in Islam for anyone to act this way for the following reasons. That it’s borne of ignorance:

MIGRATION
A lot of people think that Islam was only able to flourish after Muslims migrated from Makkah to medina, this is wrong. In order to escape persecution and to practise their religion freely, the first few Muslims to accept Islam had to migrate to Abyssinia, which is present day Ethiopia. The Prophet SAW sent a delegation of 11 men and 5 women to a Christian King, Aṣḥama ibn Abjar who received them and granted them refuge from the hardship they were facing in Makkah.

QURAN
There are two/three things to consider here. The Quran as everyone knows is the primary source for everything Islam. In the Quran, Allah SWA says: And if thy Lord willed, all who are in the earth would have believed together… (S10V99). So there’s really no reason for the animosity. Oh I hate you, you’re not like me. It’s Allah’s decree that some believe in what you believe in and some don’t. The Almighty chose to make it so.
The Quran only allows for inter-marriage between Muslim men and Christian or Jewish women. I think that’s worth a thought.
In the Quran, Allah SWA clearly refers to Jews and Christians as “people of the book”, distinct from unbelievers. As theologians will tell you, these three religions are Abrahamic, tracing their origins to Abraham AS.

PROPHET SAW’S CONDUCT
It was reported in a hadith that the Prophet SAW once stood up out of respect when a corpse was being carried for burial. A companion said to him: “but he’s a Jew”, and the Prophet SAW replied, “was he not a soul?”
On the Prophet SAW’s death it was discovered that he owed money to a Jew. He had thousands of companions who would have been willing and able to lend him money, but he chose to borrow from a Jew. I think that says something, for those of us who consider any person of a different faith to be inferior to them and therefore unworthy of decent, even if any interaction.
It is common knowledge that the Prophet used to debate religion and hold discussions with Jews and Christians. No insults, no animosity, no fighting, just logical debates. So how come we find it difficult to co-exist with others?
Some fellow Muslims on being challenged like this say “but the Christians of today are not the same as those ones of then”. Oh? Even within Islam we are told that we’re not to judge anyone. A part of the Prophet SAW’s last sermon tells us that no white man is better than a black man and vice versa, except by their piety, and that the Almighty is to be the judge of that. So my dear Muslim brother/sister, who are you to peer into another religion that you’re not even an adherent to determine who’s a sound Christian/ Jew/ whatever they choose to be?
Another response from Muslims is “but they hate us, they do this and that to us”. My response is so how are you any better than them? By doing the same? Please. Let’s all try to be more sensible. The violence we see every now and then must never be given the chance or environment to fester. There really is no basis for it in the Islam I know, unless one chooses to court mischief. This change must start from you and me. Thank you.
Samirah Tahir

Abbreviations
SWA: Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasallam (peace and blessings be upon him)
SAW: Subhanahu Wata’aala (may He be glorified and exhalted)
AS: Alaihis-Salaam (peace be upon him)

[quote author=chymystique post=27733725][color=#550000]LOL... Op are u sure you aint dreaming?


Ask your igbo male friends for suggestions they will give u better business deals.

.. *Propose to supply quality imported furnitureseg, cabinets, work tables, wardrobes etc

All nigerians re my brothers and sisters regardless of their tribe religion... Only SHECOW mofo is not my damn bro!! Thanks sha. I go date you when i hammer.
I'm talkin abt something he will benefit from too. Not just business. Contract