Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,165,829 members, 7,862,729 topics. Date: Monday, 17 June 2024 at 02:45 AM

McAdem's Posts

Nairaland Forum / McAdem's Profile / McAdem's Posts

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (of 6 pages)

Jokes Etc / Re: Best Joke Of December by McAdem: 5:30pm On Dec 08, 2011
Jackpot and mikuz wan do business.eeh wahlai na kirikiri both go land I swear
Jokes Etc / Re: Biker by McAdem: 5:25pm On Dec 08, 2011
this na mumu joke abeg
Jokes Etc / Re: What Do You Think? by McAdem: 5:22pm On Dec 08, 2011
who else can do this if not bright ?
Jokes Etc / Re: Bend Down Select by McAdem: 5:15pm On Dec 08, 2011
photocopy ko easy, do your own

[b]BAD MOUTH[/b]
Jokes Etc / Re: Best Joke Of December by McAdem: 5:13pm On Dec 08, 2011
niiiiiiiiiiiceeeeeeeeeeeeeee one I still dey laugh,pls more
Jokes Etc / Re: Bend Down Select by McAdem: 5:05pm On Dec 08, 2011
habaa, why show your living room door for world to see,i swear my poultry door fine pass am.
Jokes Etc / Re: Bend Down Select by McAdem: 4:58pm On Dec 08, 2011
I no want see your teeth out.It's a gory thing grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Jokes Etc / Re: Bend Down Select by McAdem: 4:51pm On Dec 08, 2011
mustspin:

really can tell if dis is a joke or a story undecided undecided undecided where is the joke
[b] use your goggle or JiGi bola u go see[/b]

tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue
Jokes Etc / Re: Bend Down Select by McAdem: 3:34pm On Dec 08, 2011
why now? talk am
na u get ur mouth
Jokes Etc / Re: Best Years Of My Life by McAdem: 3:32pm On Dec 08, 2011
nice one grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Jokes Etc / Re: Beer Parlour Joke! by McAdem: 3:25pm On Dec 08, 2011
ATM don dey beer parlour now shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked
Jokes Etc / Bend Down Select by McAdem: 3:22pm On Dec 08, 2011
In the Hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.

"I'm afraid I am the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces, "The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, semi-risky, and you will have to pay for the brain yourselves."

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?" The Doctor quickly responded, "$5000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain."

The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. A man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, "Why is the male brain so much more?"

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and then to the entire group said, "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've been used."
Jokes Etc / Re: Safe Driving by McAdem: 1:49pm On Dec 08, 2011
nothing do u ,u try small sha
Jokes Etc / Re: Sabbath Day by McAdem: 1:46pm On Dec 08, 2011
Poverty can't let people see jokes grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Phones / Re: Airtel Nigeria Invests $600m In Network Capacity And Quality! by McAdem: 12:12pm On Dec 08, 2011
It's possible thy might have spent some funds on upgrading,[b]but most times [/b]this multinationals over-hype this funds for marketing strategy.
Romance / Re: When A Gold-digger Dates A Gold-digger. by McAdem: 12:04pm On Dec 08, 2011
they ll both dig their grave
Religion / Re: Nigerian Pastors Who Hate Themselves by McAdem: 3:38pm On Dec 07, 2011
yomz1e:

I myself cannot attend a church where the Sheperd, pastor, overseer jerry curls or ' Soul Glo' their hair,  The relaxer costs can be well spent orphanges

oyinboo grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Jokes Etc / Re: Airplane Fun by McAdem: 12:01pm On Dec 07, 2011
essay na big grammar
comprehension na correct inglis
Jokes Etc / Re: How Possibe Is Dis by McAdem: 11:58am On Dec 07, 2011
Go get spec abeg if you no see am. Grin Grin Grin

grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Jokes Etc / Re: Airplane Fun by McAdem: 11:56am On Dec 07, 2011
mikuz:

see ya self?
Illetereite! Is that how to spell noghty?
Elder my foot.
see ne see trouble o.see ur own [b]noghty [/b]teacher they teach me nonsense
Jokes Etc / Re: Mikuz The Kidnapper! by McAdem: 11:53am On Dec 07, 2011
u dey vex? my boy grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin

where u ran go heh,u no fit ran
Jokes Etc / Re: Airplane Fun by McAdem: 11:39am On Dec 07, 2011
Is that how you talk to your elders?naugthy boyyyyyyyyy
Jokes Etc / Mikuz The Kidnapper! by McAdem: 11:36am On Dec 07, 2011
Little[b] Mikuz [/b]went to his mother demanding a new bicycle. His mother decided that he should take a look at himself and the way he acts. She said, "Well Mikuz, it isn't Christmas and we don't have the money to just go out and buy you anything you want. So why don't you write a letter to Jesus and pray for one instead." After his temper tantrum his mother sent him to his room. He finally sat down to write a letter to Jesus.

Dear Jesus,
I've been a good boy this year and would appreciate a new bicycle.

Your Friend,
Mikuz

Now, Mikuz knew that Jesus really knew what kind of boy he was (brat), so he ripped up the letter and decided to give it another try.

Dear Jesus,
I've been an OK boy this year and I want a new bicycle.

Your Truly,
Mikuz

Well, Mikuz [/b]knew this wasn't totally honest, so he tore it up and tried again.

Dear Jesus,
I've thought about being a good boy this year and can I have a bicycle?

[b] Mikuz


Well, Mikuz looked deep down in his heart, which by the way was what his mother really wanted. He knew he had been terrible and was deserving of almost nothing. He crumpled up the letter, threw it in the trash can and went running outside. He aimlessly wandered about depressed because of the way he treated his parents and really considered his actions. He finally found himself in front of a Catholic Church, Mikuz went inside and knelt down, looking around not knowing what he should really do. [b]Mikuz [/b]finally got up and began to walk out the door and was looking at all the statues. All of a sudden he grabbed a small one and ran out the door. He went home, hid it under his bed and wrote this letter.

Jesus,
I've got your mama. If you ever want to see her again, give me a bike!

Sincerely,
You know who
Jokes Etc / Re: Airplane Fun by McAdem: 11:28am On Dec 07, 2011
mikuz:

is this an expository essay,comprehension passage or documentary.
Which one?

na u sabi ,carry your sticky mouth commot ,yeye boy
Jokes Etc / Airplane Fun by McAdem: 10:54am On Dec 07, 2011
Some fun things to do the next time you're on one of those long international flights to kill time, grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin

Pinch the stewardess' butt as she passes.

When two people kiss in the in flight movie, belch real loud.

When there's any nudity, hoot really loudly for a few minutes.

Fart loudly and act shocked, looking around to see who did it.

Fiddle around with the emergency exit, then ask a fellow passenger if[b] he has a crowbar.[/b]

Hijack the cockpit [/b]and, over the loudspeaker, announce that the first class passengers and luggage are to switch places.

Run down the aisle screaming, [b]"He's got a bomb! He's got a bomb!".


Go into the bathroom and make rude bodily noises, then come out looking refreshed.

Give someone a coin, saying "Heads, I detonate the bomb. Tails, I don't".

Go into the bathroom, drop your pants, then come out, yelling "We're out of toilet paper! Stewardess!"
.

Describe your sex life in great detail to the five-year-old next to you.

Lead a bible study session in the back of the plane.

Start a hot dog stand.

Steal businessman's laptop, play solitaire on it.

Remark that perhaps you shouldn't have put super glue in your underpants that morning.

Pick your nose and pat the person next to you.

Show off your Batman underwear.

Sneak into the cockpit and hit the warning alarm.

Scratch your butt, then sniff your finger.

Go into the cockpit, flick on the intercom light, then loudly inquire as to why the fuel dial says "e".

Don't use deodorant, then "accidentally" stick your armpit in someone's face.

Sneeze, using somebody's sleeve instead of your hand to cover it.

Snort when you laugh.

Tell corny jokes and laugh like it's absolutely hilarious, then expect others to do the same.


Ride carry-on luggage down the aisle, yelling "Yeee-ha!".

With a desperate look, ask the stewardess where the bathroom is, then look relieved and say "Never mind. Do you have any towels?".

Jump up and scream "AAAHHH!! I left the stove on!

[b]Take over the plane with a toy gun.


Yell to someone "Is it time to hijack the plane yet?" (Note: Do this when there are stewardess nearby).

To the person next to you, say "It's amazing that they didn't notice the grenade in my luggage.


Pls, u can add more
Jokes Etc / Re: How Possibe Is Dis by McAdem: 10:27am On Dec 07, 2011
nice one jare
i
bunmioguns:

It is no more funny to me because I av read it over and over again

it's not compulsory to make comment now,always appreciate people hmmm.
Jokes Etc / Re: I Swear You Will Spit After Seeing This by McAdem: 10:23am On Dec 07, 2011
is this love or mental crazzzzzzzzzzzzzz angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry

if na love ,i beg i no go love again
Jokes Etc / Re: Pls Take This by McAdem: 4:13pm On Dec 05, 2011
DONkollione:

@mcADEM

your just a deficient poster its not your fault grin

is it[b] DONkollione or Dunkua[/b],just asking my man?see ya
Jokes Etc / Re: Pls Take This by McAdem: 3:39pm On Dec 05, 2011
Mr DON bush,
it seems u came from bushy part of the universe
well, just take heart,muhehehehehehehehe grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Jokes Etc / Pls Take This by McAdem: 1:26pm On Dec 05, 2011
Since my posts are not appealing to DONkollione,I guess he ll like this.Pls bro. no harm meant.It's just for the fun of this section.




Mukiz [/b]was visiting an old friend [b]DONkollione [/b]and his wife for dinner. When the time came to leave, his car wouldn't start, and it was too late to call the local service station.

[b] DONkollione [/b]urged [b]Mukiz
to stay over. There was no spare bed in the house; there wasn't even a sofa. So Mukiz would have to sleep with the husband and wife.

No sooner had the husband fallen asleep when the wife taped[b] Mukiz[/b] on the shoulder and motioned for him to come over to her.

"I couldn't do that," he whispered. "Your husband is my best friend!"

"Listen, sugar," she whispered back, "there ain't nothing in the whole wide world could wake him up now."

"I can't believe that,"Mukiz said. "Certainly if I get on top of you and screw you, he'll wake up won't he?

"Sugar, he certainly won't. If you don't believe me, pluck a hair out of his asshole and see if that wakes him."

Mukiz [/b]did just that. He was amazed when[b] DONkollione remained asleep. So he climbed over to the wife's side of the bed and bleeped her. When he finished, he climbed back to his own side. It wasn't long before she tapped him on the shoulder and beckoned him over again. Again he pulled a hair to determine if his old friend was asleep. This went on eight times during the night. Each time[b] Mukiz[/b] screwed the woman, he first pulled out one of the DONkollione asshole hairs.

The ninth time he pulled a hair, DONkollione awoke and muttered: "Listen, Mukiz, old pal, I don't mind you fucking my wife, but for Pete's sake, stop using my ass for a scoreboard!" grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (of 6 pages)

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 40
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.