DONkollione:

was dis a joke or is dis a joke?? anywhich way eee no fuuny

thanks @ least for your comment,criticism is welcome. once again thank you.

A pick pocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes. The judge said "Mr. Banks you are hereby fined $100." The lawyer stood up and said "Thanks, my lord, however my client only has $75 on him at this time, but if you'd allow him a few minutes in the crowd. . ."

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8:00 pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home.

"Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house.

"Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock."

The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!".

[size=8pt]This couple were in bed getting busy when the girl places the guys hand onto her Kitty. "Put your finger in me, " she asks him. So he does without hesitation, as she starts moaning. "Put two fingers in, ", she says. So in goes another one. She's really starting to get worked up when she says, "Put your whole hand in!". The guy's like, "Ok!". So he has his entire hand in, when she says moaning aloud "Put both your hands inside of me!!!". So the guy puts both of his hands in! "Now clap your hands, " commands the girl. "I can't", says the guy. The girl looks at him and says "See, I told you I had a tight Kitty!".[/size][b][/b]

---

A dog, a cat, and a penis are sitting around a camp fire one night. The dog says, "My life sucks, my master makes me do my business on a fire hydrent!". The cat says, "I don't think so, my master makes me do my business in a box of cat litter." The penis outraged, says "At least your master doesn't put a bag over your head and make you do push ups until you throw up!"

Three soccer players - Landon Donovan, Lionel Messi and David Beckham - are invited to heaven watch the World Cup final with God. God decides who will sit next to him by asking them the same question.

God asks Donovan first: "What do you believe?" Donovan says, "I believe in hard work and staying true to family, teammates and friends." God is impressed by the American and offers him a seat to his left.

God then turns to Messi and asks, "What do you believe?" Messi says, "I believe loyalty, discipline, courage and honor are the fundamentals of life." God is impressed and offers the Argentinian a seat to his right.

Finally, God turns to Beckham: "What do you believe?" Beckham then says, "I believe you're in my seat."

plsssssssssssss for GOD sake help me with this electronic GMAT my e-mail is[b] mcadeck_2011@live.com[/b] God bless u.

Baawaa:

They want to turn the case upside down!

Exactly!!!!
That is their tactic to derail Nigerians,very soon it will turn to north vs south.Just pray that SSS and the govt did not backpedal.

Often times I wonder why we Nigerians are still under slavery after years of independent.

For Brazil to suspend a giant Chevron because of oil spill and in my own country Nigeria to kill and maim it's own citizen for protesting against oil spillage left more to be desired.
I hope our Government wake up to it's responsibilities and save it's citizen especially the Niger/deltans.

BRASILIA (Reuters) - Brazil's government suspended Chevron Corp's drilling rights until Chevron clarifies the causes of an offshore oil spill, the latest twist in a political firestorm threatening the U.S. company's role in Brazil's oil bonanza.

The decision on Wednesday came as the head of Chevron's Brazilian unit testified before Brazil's Congress, where he apologized for the November 8 spill that leaked about 2,400 barrels of oil into the ocean off the coast of Rio de Janeiro.

Brazil's National Petroleum Agency said it decided to halt Chevron's drilling rights after determining there was evidence that the company had been "negligent" in its study of data needed to drill and in contingency planning for abandoning the well in the event of accident.

The agency, known as ANP, also rejected a request from Chevron made before the leak to drill wells in the deeper subsalt areas in the Frade field where the spill occurred. The field is located in the oil-rich Campos Basin and is the only block in Brazil where Chevron produces oil as the operator.

The Campos Basin is currently the source of more than 80 percent of Brazil's oil output.

While Chevron said late on Wednesday it had not received formal notice of the drilling halt, the company announced an indefinite voluntary suspension of all current and future drilling off Brazil, apart from plug and abandonment work.

"Chevron acknowledges, however, that ANP has posted a notice of suspension to its website," the company added.

The only rig working for Chevron off Brazil is Transocean Ltd's Sedco 706, which drilled the well that leaked.

The spill is an ominous reminder of the risks involved in offshore drilling, cooling the euphoria over vast subsalt oil reserves that Brazil found in 2007 up to 7 km (4.4 miles) below the seabed. The country is banking on those reserves of up to 100 billion barrels to speed its development.

Chevron has previously drilled for subsalt depth targets in the field, which is also owned by Brazil's state-controlled energy giant Petrobras and Frade Japao, a Japanese consortium. Chevron owns 52 percent of Frade, whereas Petrobras owns 30 percent and Frade Japao 18 percent.

Chevron, the second-largest U.S. oil company, has been fined $28 million by Brazil's environmental agency for the spill, an amount that is sure to rise when ANP and Rio's state government slap fines on the company, as they have pledged to do.

Chevron had already halted all of its local drilling operations after the leak occurred, before ANP's announced suspension. ANP said the suspension will remain in place until Chevron fully restores safety conditions in the field.

Chevron's CEO in Brazil, George Buck, told Brazilian lawmakers that the company "acted as rapidly and safely as possible" and "used all resources" to contain and stop the flow of oil from the well.

"We controlled the source in four days. We worked with transparency and cooperation with the authorities of Brazil," Buck said.

INVESTIGATIONS, RECRIMINATIONS

Chevron initially attributed the "sheen" on the sea surface to naturally occurring seepage from the seabed. The company is being investigated by the Federal Police, which noted discrepancies between Chevron's account of the spill and the government's.

The Frade leak, while small, is likely to provide more ammunition for the growing worldwide opposition to offshore drilling in the wake of the estimated 4-million-barrel BP Deepwater Horizon spill in the Gulf of Mexico in 2010.

The Frade oil flow has been staunched except for residual droplets still bubbling up from a fissure in the sea floor, but this is expected to cease in a few days. Chevron said the oil "stain" on the sea surface now equated to about a barrel.

Most oil has been mechanically dispersed, while 350 cubic meters of oily water has been recovered and will undergo processing.

Addressing a crowded congressional commission through an interpreter, Buck said Chevron still did not understand how the crude rose 567 feet up to the seabed after rock "parted" while drilling in the 8.5 inch-wide column.

"We have an ongoing investigation. We will share the lessons learned with the people of Brazil to ensure that this never happens here or anywhere else in the world," Buck said.

Lawmakers, some calling the spill a "crime," also turned their ire on ANP in the four-hour hearing and which they said had proven ill-equipped and ill-prepared, even as Brazil pursues its ambitions to rapidly increase oil output.

Production is unaffected at Frade, which produces 79,000 barrels per day of oil, or 4 percent of the country's output. Chevron, with a share of Frade production that amounts to just over 1 percent of its worldwide output, had originally targeted peak capacity of about 72,000 barrels per day from the field.

Petrobras has so far dodged the criticism Chevron has faced despite having approved the development plans for Frade field.

Chevron, based in San Ramon, California, is also a 30 percent partner in the nearby $5.2 billion Papa-Terra project, which is operated by Petrobras. Petrobras and Chevron expect to produce 140,000 bpd oil and equivalent gas from Papa-Terra in 2013.

(Additional reporting by Jeb Blount in Rio de Janeiro and Braden Reddall in San Francisco; Writing by Todd Benson and Reese Ewing; Editing by Bob Burgdorfer, Gary Hill and Matt Drisk

[url]http://news.yahoo.com/brazil-suspends-chevrons-drilling-rights-014841828.html
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@OP, the answer is capital NO

Honestly speaking am short of words,people are now clamouring for someone like Ribadu,whom many were against initially for media hype on corrupt officials and for selective prosecution.NO ONE CAN SATISFY NIGERIANS.

It's going to be very trickish match to watch, but i hope my darling team ARSENAL win in grand style.

If bringing back [b]UTAKA and[i] YAKUBU[/i] is what keshi means by building a team,definitely he has set up his grave career-wise.[/b]

how on earth would you compere song with fufu mikel,who know nothing than to backpass.He could only score just 2 goals in his downward-driven career in chelsea .what a shame!!!!!!!!! am expecting chelsea fan's response.

Iyanwunmi,ejadindinfunmi,dodokemi,Garikunle,fufuremi


ebasayo,sakisegun,amaladunni,fukudarasimi \

akaraseunfunmi


need more

I beg to disagree

Maybe the fart was an evil spirit or sickness being ejected and sent to the lake or fire.

No be deliverance be dat??

I agree jare even in my church ,my pastor always tell us to pray until u fart-that shows u are delivererd

whattttttttt a match!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! arsenal 4 lifeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

its[b] 2-2[/b]

its getting interesting !!! arsenal all the way 1-1

He did a nice job with NTA before Obj kicked him out.

why was he kicked out of NTA?

He was kicked out for allegedly awarded contract twice for the same equipments.

visit :[b]http://www.nigerianmuse.com/nigeriawatch/officialfraud/?u=TheNews_COJA_Flawed_African_games.htm[/b]

hehehehehe i dey laff u ooooooooo !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[tr]its just a matter of time.[/tr]

this match ll be a test of character for arsenal
they better watch there back.any way i predict[i] 2:1[/i]

boko haramism

@ last,the end of all things -DEATH a great lesson to wise politicians!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

when his body don dey do gzeeegze

na greener we go chop?