₦airaland Forum

U sure are on crack duuude.

It dont mada.

Damnit! Sory guys.

@tess
well. . . I dont knw bout dat but pics dont lie.

Wtf?

It means "beautiful dawg"

if ed a'int migines, ed A'INT Migines.

@tt
sory, ders a pic der so u wunt c it.

Hi TT, I'm baaack.

A' been missing man.
@emperoh
u beta start lukn for some1 else to fill dat space, as CEO of NAIRAWOOD i cant stoop dat low.

Bellisimo! dawg

All jhoin

Ituen Stop it!!

let da poor guy be

Personals

A man was unemployed and bored, so he decided to sunbathe in the nude. His penis got badly burned, due to the fact it had never before seen the sun.
His wife came home that night and they had sex. While his wife slept, he looked for relief from the sting. He went to the refrigerator to find something cold to put on his body and only found milk. He poured some in a glass and dipped his penis into it.

His wife came in, slapped the side of her head and marveled, "So that's how you load the thing!"

The Confession

Joe enters the confessional and tells the priest that he has committed adultery.
"Oh, no," said the priest, thinking of the most promiscuous women in town. "Was it with Marie Brown?"

"I'd rather not say who it was."

"Was it with Betty Smith?"

"I'd rather not say," says Joe. So the priest gives him absolution and Joe leaves. While

Top10 Viagra Slogans.

* Viagra, The quicker dicker upper
* Viagra, One-a-day, like iron
* Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there tonight
* Viagra, Home of the whopper
* Viagra, It plumps when you take 'em
* Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman
* Viagra, Tastes great, more filling
* Viagra, Ten inches long , and growing.
* Viagra, We work harder, so you don't have to. and the number one slogan being considered by Viagra:
* This is your penis. This is your

The Confession

Joe enters the confessional and tells the priest that he has committed adultery.
"Oh, no," said the priest, thinking of the most promiscuous women in town. "Was it with Marie Brown?"

"I'd rather not say who it was."

"Was it with Betty Smith?"

"I'd rather not say," says Joe. So the priest gives him absolution and Joe leaves. While

hmmm

hmmm

hmmm

hmmmm

I knew it was true, I knew it!

Well, if there's any truth to this study at all, then I should live to be 180 minimum!

From the New England Journal of Medicine:

Great news for girl watchers: Ogling over women's breasts is good for a man's health and can add years to his life, medical experts have discovered.

According to the New England Journal of Medicine, "Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out" declared gerontologist Dr. Karen Weatherby.

Dr. Weatherby and fellow researchers at three hospitals in Frankfurt, Germany, reached the startling conclusion after comparing the health of 200 male outpatients - half of whom were instructed to look at busty females daily, the other half told to refrain from doing so.

The study revealed that after five years, the chest-watchers had lower blood pressure, slower resting pulse rates and fewer instances of coronary artery disease. "Sexual excitement gets the heart pumping and improves blood circulation," explains Dr. Weatherby. "There's no question: Gazing at breasts makes men healthier."

"Our study indicates that engaging in this activity a few minutes daily cuts the risk of stroke and heart attack in half. We believe that by doing so consistently, the average man can extend his life four to five years."
, hmmm - I wonder if PC boobies count?

P.S: I've already volunteered myself to science just in case they want to do a "hands on" study of the same type, woo-hoo!

Blonde Bank Robbers

Two blondes decided to rob a bank together. The first
Blonde, Judy, planned the robbery and went over the plan with the second
blonde, Buffy, in great detail.

The robbery began. Judy drove up in front of the bank,
Stopped the car and said to Buffy, "I want to make
Absolutely sure you understand the plan. You are supposed to be in and out of
the bank in no more than three minutes with the cash. Do you
Understand the plan?"

"Perfectly," replied Buffy.

Buffy went in the bank while Judy waited in the getaway
Car. One minute passed, three minutes pass, seven
Minutes pass, and Judy was really stressing out.

Finally, the bank doors burst open! And here came Buffy.She had a safe wrapped
up in rope and is dragging it to the car.

About the time she got the safe in the trunk of the car, the bank doors burst
open again with the security guard coming out. The guard's pants and underwear
are down around his ankles while he was firing his weapon.

As the gals are getting away, Judy yelled, "You are such a Blonde! I thought
you understood the plan!"

Buffy said, "I did. I did exactly what you said!"

"No, you idiot!" snapped Judy. "You got it all mixed up. I said, 'tie up the
GUARD and blow the SAFE!'"

Blonde Bank Robbers

Two blondes decided to rob a bank together. The first
Blonde, Judy, planned the robbery and went over the plan with the second
blonde, Buffy, in great detail.

The robbery began. Judy drove up in front of the bank,
Stopped the car and said to Buffy, "I want to make
Absolutely sure you understand the plan. You are supposed to be in and out of
the bank in no more than three minutes with the cash. Do you
Understand the plan?"

"Perfectly," replied Buffy.

Buffy went in the bank while Judy waited in the getaway
Car. One minute passed, three minutes pass, seven
Minutes pass, and Judy was really stressing out.

Finally, the bank doors burst open! And here came Buffy.She had a safe wrapped
up in rope and is dragging it to the car.

About the time she got the safe in the trunk of the car, the bank doors burst
open again with the security guard coming out. The guard's pants and underwear
are down around his ankles while he was firing his weapon.

As the gals are getting away, Judy yelled, "You are such a Blonde! I thought
you understood the plan!"

Buffy said, "I did. I did exactly what you said!"

"No, you idiot!" snapped Judy. "You got it all mixed up. I said, 'tie up the
GUARD and blow the SAFE!'"

When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle



When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she was attracted to him, and
during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex. "Tarzan not
know sex," he replied.
Jane explained to him what sex was.

Tarzan said, "Oh, Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree."

Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to
do it properly."

She took off her clothes and lay down on the ground. "Here," she said. "You
must put it in here."

Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer with his huge erection, and then
gave her an almighty kick right in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony for
what seemed like an eternity. Eventually she managed to gasp for air and
screamed, "What did you do that for?"

"Tarzan check for bees."

No Arms and No Legs

There's a man in a wheelchair with no arms and no legs sitting by a lake. Several beautiful women are running laps around it and the man decides to use his disability to get affection from one of them. The next time one runs by him, the man calls to her:

"Excuse me Sweetheart, I have no arms and I have no legs. Will you hug me?"

She looks around to make sure nobody's watching, leans down, and hugs him.

The man thinks, "Wow, I can't believe that worked!", and decides to try it again.

Another woman runs by him, and he calls out to her: "Excuse me Darling, I have no arms and I have no legs. Will you kiss me?"

She looks around to make sure nobody is watching, leans down and gives him a kiss.

The man is amazed at how well this is working out for him!

The next time a woman runs by, he calls out to her: " Excuse me Beautiful, I have no arms and I have no legs. Will you f**k me?"

The woman looks around to make sure nobody's watching her, leans down, picks the man up out of his chair, throws him in the lake and tells him:

"There, now you're f**ked!

this shit is actually funny if i think of it.

Wisdom

"I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was -
'You'll never find anyone like me again!'
I'm thinking, 'I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you?'

"Relationships are hard. It's like a full-time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp."

"A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket.
'You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' she sneered.
I replied in a psychotic tone, 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too."

"Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait."

"Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork. I'm sorry, what was that last one?? Don't eat pork. God has spoken. Is that the word of God or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody?"

"My mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'"

"In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?"

"I voted for the Democrats because I didn't like the way the Republicans were running the country. Which is turning out to be like shooting yourself in the head to stop your headache."

"A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh."

"I don't know what's wrong with my television set. I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station. I actually bought a congressman."

"I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be. But I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners."

"Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?"

"Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash."

"If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology."

"The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. 'Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off. I've got the toe clippers right here!'"

"I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was -
'You'll never find anyone like me again!'
I'm thinking, 'I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you?'

"Relationships are hard. It's like a full-time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp."

"A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket.
'You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' she sneered.
I replied in a psychotic tone, 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too."

"Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait."

"Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork. I'm sorry, what was that last one?? Don't eat pork. God has spoken. Is that the word of God or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody?"

"My mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'"

"In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?"

"I voted for the Democrats because I didn't like the way the Republicans were running the country. Which is turning out to be like shooting yourself in the head to stop your headache."

"A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh."

"I don't know what's wrong with my television set. I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station. I actually bought a congressman."

"I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be. But I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners."

"Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?"

"Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash."

"If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology."

"The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. 'Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off. I've got the toe clippers right here!'"

Lol. I tire o

Guy, na ur goat go fes miss? Dont provoke me o.

No u dont need to knw d lady. I mean u just pay double and it covers d cost of feeding 2ppl since d ladies wunt pay. Geddit?

If i dont blame u, who will?