₦airaland Forum

#WARNING- LENGHTY CONTENT. . . . . .UVE BEEN WARNED. BUH IF U STONGLY FEEL A NID TO COMPLAIN BOUT HOW LONG DIS IS, PLS, TELL IT TO UR ALTER-EGO
DISCLAIMER NOTICE!!! - i will not be held responsible if Jack finds out ure in possession of this information




#THINGS LOVERS OF "24" MAY NOT KNW BOUT "JACK BAUER"



There are two kinds of people in this world: Jack Bauer and everyone else



Jack Bauer's favorite drink is Kerosene, because he knows that alcohol is for pussies



Jack Bauer only uses a gun to kill terrorist as a courtesy to those who would have to clean up the mess associated with him using his hands.



The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.



When Jack Bauer was born the doctor tried to slap his ass, but Jack caught his hand and broke his arm in 24 places.



Scientists recently uncovered the real reason dinosaurs are extinct: Jack Bauer received an anonymous tip that dinosaurs are terrorists.



Jack Bauer knows “victoria’s secret”



Jack Bauer's father grounded him once as a child. His father never again made that mistake.



While growing up on a farm, Jack's parents wanted him to kill a turkey for Thanksgiving. He started by shooting the turkey in the kneecaps.



The leading cause of death is Jack Bauer. Tobacco knows not to mess with Jack Bauer



All work and no play makes Jack Bauer one bad motherfucker



Chuck Norris and Jack Bauer once got into a fight, the event is commonly known as the Big Bang. If you want to know who won, just ask yourself when was the last time you saw a new episode of Walker Texas Ranger?



When bad things happen to good people, its probably fate. When bad things happen to bad people, it’s probably Jack Bauer.



When Jack Bauer does a press-up, he isn't pushing himself up, he's pushing the world down



If Jack Bauer were gay his name would be James Bond



Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds. Jack bauer doesn't drink milk. Milk is for pussies.



Jack Bauer doesn't smile very often. But when he does, you damn well better smile with him.



If you ever tried to tell Jack Bauer to go to hell, the Devil would silence you before you finished the sentence.



If Jack Bauer was out in a room with three terrorists and one bullet, he would kill the terrorists and walk out with one bullet. Jack Bauer doesn't need bullets.



In the past five years Steven Segal has lost 20 pounds running from Jack Bauer.



once Jack had the hiccups. He then put a pistol in his mouth and fired. the hiccups have yet to return



Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.



Bauer doesn't follow protocol. Protocol follows Jack Bauer.



Jack Bauer doesn't cut his grass, he stares at it and dares it to grow.



If Jack Bauer and James Bond were locked in a room, Jack Bauer would make a bomb outa James Bond.



If Jack Bauer and MacGyver were locked in a room, Jack Bauer would make a bomb outa MacGyver.



After running out of ammo, Jack stood in the line of fire, took 3 shots to the chest, and used them to reload.



As a boy, Jack Bauer interrogated his parents on Xmasr until they told hm the truth about santa.



Jack Bauer has been to Mars. Thats why there's no life on Mars.



Jack Bauer was born four months premature cos he torture the womb till it gave him access to the outside world



Jack Bauer doesn't nid to read a book. He tortures it until he has all the information he needs.



Jack Bauer could get off the Lost island in 24 hours.



The 2007 budget for the US Military covers Jack Bauer, two pistols and four billion rounds of ammunition.



Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.



Jack Bauer sperm waz conceived as a result of hm torturing the other sperm till they gave away the location of the egg



When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack found it and put it back.



Jack Bauer doesn't need a translator, torture sounds the same in every language.



Jack Bauers calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer.



Jack bauer shot himself 10 times just to let 50cents knw hes a pussy



If Jack says "I just want to talk to him/her" and that him/her is you, well amigo, you're bleeped.



Jack Bauer can watch all 4 seasons of 24 in 24 hours



Jack Bauer killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.



When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.



Curiosity didnt kill the cat, Jack Bauer did.



After 7 minutes of interrogation, Jack Bauer made Tom Cruise admit he was gay.



1.6 billion Chinese are pissed off at Jack Bauer. After tomorrow, there will be 1.4.



Osama has been hiding? Definitely Jack Bauer has not heard about it.



It's no use crying over spilt milk, Unless that was Jack Bauer's milk. Amigo. . . ure soscrewed.



You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.



reading too many of these fact will cause jack bauer to burst through the door and shoot out your knees cause you know too much

. . . Note d word "please". . . . . Dat shuld suggest somn. . . . Doznt it?

. . . No d word "please". . . . . Dat shuld suggest somn. . . . Doznt it?

@angelz U, my friend, av establish a "poster right activist" reputation

, and dat waz "angelz" reporting 4 "lets break everything down" Fm.

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Lmfbo. . . . Sm1 z frontin. . .

Damn! Miss nairaland

Lol. "reverse phychology"

Hey! Hon, u sure avnt given up on nairaland. Well i Jst chk in read posts nd chk out. Not dis section tho, I jst myt stick around dis tym.

Hey! Hon, u sure avnt given up on nairaland. Well i Jst chk in read posts nd chk out. Not dis section tho, I jst myt stick around dis tym.

Nig-Ind. . . . D match dat never was.

Lmao. Noe shit!

Close to 12hrs nd no comments. Little wonder y. Buh I in d gud spirit of a happy day, 'll ignore d "joke" nd say "welcome 2 nairaland"

. . . Its amazing hw some1 still asks wer d joke is. *Smh

we did it again guyz. . . BIG UP urslves. its national pride nd noffin else

*point of correctn*
of all dem reps u listed, I 4 one nvr supported nkena or voted 4 her EVEN WEN IT WAZ FREE.

Dnt thnk so. U lose ur ryte 2 sue once u step into d hws.

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas.

The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music,

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better.

I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me,

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

. . . If we kip wondering bout dat ere, w'll probly 4get the topic of dis thread.

. . . If we kip wondering bout dat ere, w'll probly 4get the topic of dis thread.

holon a minute. hwd the hws mates fynd out bout the barn?

I waz begining 2 think i waz d only one perceiving paranoia.

y'all just gotta love this guy>no homo< he iz the "fun" in "dysfunctional". as persistent as hiz sometyms annoying sense of humour iz, hiz still the funniest hws mate in d bigbrother hws eva. . . . . . . . . .ummm Yacob hiz another guy id love to publish hiz quotes tho

my favrites

''Sheila, i like you, you are very sexy, especially with your make up on like the first day we all got into the house, but you have to stop behaving like a guy and swearing like a gangster''

''Sheila, you are a dude, you walk like one, talk like one, act like one, you can as well have a manliness''.

wow! d gud'ol'dayz

"nah! , is this the migines i know, "

1. watyu mean by that?
2.Finally someone spells MIGINES ryt around here. damn!

@mdsocks
U dint indicate.

@ayus
Hey man. Can c ure still d my same old retard buddie. I actually cm around buh jst 2 read. Our generation of nairalandaz has passed.
@topic
i hope diz guyz dint go a 100%!

Lmfbo. AYUS!

heyyyyyy. hommie. wats ur YIM id?

i av a feeling most of us are under de illution UTI is way sronger than MWISHO. . . .think again guys. it a ttuff one nd i dnt see homeboy duin justice. if by some wierd voting manipulation, as much as we hate it, we re able to save paloma nd send mwisho to the barn, UTI haz dis on a lockdown believe me. deal with d srong contenders and leave the likes of paloma who is on a roller-costa ryde to self destruction. . . . ."strng african woman" my left b.utt cheek.

pls can sm1 send me d installation file for kapersky internet security? its taking hecka lng to download. Migines07@yahoo.com. id really appreciate it guyz.

pls can sm1 send me d installation file for kapersky internet security? its taking hecka lng to download. Migines07@yahoo.com. id really appreciate it guyz.