₦airaland Forum

MrsChima:
Even if she has your name..that's not going to keep men from her and if she wants to cheat her married name mean nothing.

Nothing to do with preventing a cheating wife, like I said it is to present a common identity, names are very important, lineages are based on names, stuff like that, these little things matter a lot.

Now as far as I know if a woman meets her man, the one, she'll be the one eager to take the name sef. Some ex-wives still bear ex-husbands name. Most prominent example Kimora Lee Simmons.

Some men and women here are assuming this name thing has to do with power/authority. It doesn't.

This practice didn't just magically come to be.

Lets approach this with common sense

Now, if two companies merge, what happens? One company assumes the name of the other usually, this is to present a common identity to the world and other companies.

So take two families: Amina Talbat & Kufre Esama, they're both leaving their families to start a new one. In order to make it clear to everyone, this new family takes on a new name. It could be Kufre Talbat, Amina Esama, Esama-Talbat or Talbat-Esama, a double barreled name over generations becomes confusing, the identity is unclear, since the man is seen as the head of the home (she bears her fathers name), it became common for the woman to bear the name of the new man in their new family.

Such that, when in public, everyone knows, this woman is now of a new family.

Now for me, this remains the choice of both parties intending to marry.

For me, when someone sees her name or calls my wife to be in any public place, I would want them to know she is married to me. She is not just a daughter, but now a mother and wife. Make man no come say, "I been no know se na person wife".

It is said, "Marry one woman and she'll spend her time fighting you...marry two however, and they will spend their time fighting for you."

If you believe say Amen/Ameen.

Drinks Soju.

delishpot:
When i said they should come home, some people wanted to have my head. They claim they have bisinesses and families over there and I was insensitive bla bla bla, now see what is happening? [ I hope that little boy is better now?

Where is moghedien? Can you see why I said they should save their lives first? Make dem come home una dey para for me.

We no dey para for you, what you said is obviously the right thing to do to avoid this kinds of unfortunate news. BUT e no dey realistic, the people will not leave, na so humans beings dey. Their govt. HAS to evict them out by force na the only way.

agaugust:
Abi you dey cräze ?

Who told you that these lazy black xenophobes built South Africa?

The technologically and infrastructurally advanced/developed South Africa was built by the white-men citizens who enjoyed over 200 years of uninterrupted white-minority apartheid rule.

Your white masters transferred technology directly from their original nations of Europe into South Africa, that is why a Bantu man in Soweto today wears Woolworths jeans instead of animal skin pänts half näked.

If Afrikaner Boer white man hears that you are claiming glory for the works of Botha, De Klerk and their white ancestors, he will curse your Zulu-Xhosa-Bantu nation with white witchcräft.

You can even say the nuclear power of South Africa was developed by Jacob Zuma's uncles.

Soweto fööl, even your country's president has declared black South Africans lazy and parasites by nature.

Immigrant stole your jobs....were you sleeping on duty?

Olodo !
.

Guy I dey feel your pain, take am easy, make you try, even though the vex dey worry u like e dey worry us all, try understand, spewing the same hate and anger is making you just like those you despise, show you're the better fellow. As you take insult am, him sef no go reason lash back and na so we go just dey suffer for Africa while those people dey use us dey go.

RudzSA:
This is interesting ,u ppl are busy calling us names nd hatin on us for wat a few of our idiots are doing .thats also not ryt .wat u nid to understand is that South Africans in general don't like to associate themselves wit Africa (sad fact).to us Africa is a different place to RSA .ask any Southey u no they'll tell u they South African not so much African .wat m sayin is that this things wil take time but we r heading towards the "I'm an African declaration" ,our past which mind u is only 21yrs old still defines us .nd don't let anyone fool u al South Africans r lyk that ,black nd white

The truth being spoken, its a problem, logical step we deal with it, with wisdom as adults, not insults, banter and bickering. Governments have to act. If the situation cant be settled amicably, evict by force, there'd be less bad blood. Talk of people leaving of their own volition is wishful thinking.

P.S: I guarantee if BluIvy, Morpheus24, PunkyOh & all4naija met to finally settle this beef, it'll quickly go from; "Bring it ON!!", "Id**t" & "Voetsek" to "Baby girl" & "Bokkie" real quick.

madejibo:
Nigerians should be the last set of people calling any other country Xenophobic. We are quick to forget that with the support of our democratically elected government, we chased over 300,000 Ghanians away from SA.
Let's give SA some credits, at least SA's govt is not support these attacks, they have condemned it

Get your history right.

http://www.citypulseng.com/2014/10/the-trauma-of-1983-ghana-must-go-era.html

To add to that, it is exactly what the SAn govt should do, this way bloodshed is avoided. No price for blood.

ayox2003:
Thank you OP.

There's a psychological term called Availability Bias.

Availability Bias: Availability Bias is when a minor, rare, uncommon occurrence is publicized numerous times to make people believe it happens frequently. An example is how lottery companies advertise those who win the ultimate prize money, making people believe that they could be one of the winners. The 'advert' makes people play lotteries as much as they can. In the end, research has shown that 90% of lottery players never get to win at all while 5% wins just once or twice.

Calling SA a Xenophobic country is like calling Nigeria a human ritualist nation or saying India is a rapist country (Fact check: you're more likely to be raped in America than in India) or believing US is a racist country because cops shoot Blacks (Fact check: A black man is the president of the US).

That you hear of an occurrence in the news every other day doesn't make it the truth of the situation on ground. Mind you, most people with the Xenophobic chorus have never even been to the country.

Long story short: Xenophobia is just another availability bias swallowed by Africans hook, line and sinker.


Frawzey.

Sorry your fact checks might be facts, but they are not truths:
-America has a majority of racist, not all, true, but most, Obama does not cancel it out. I have siblings there I listen to what goes on in the black communities, because the successful ones get better treatment does not mean its not an epidemic because the majority is more important.
-India have a lot of rape cases that go unpunished (plus they are over a billion, your stats don't add up there).
-Nigeria's boko-haram problem has not escalated to the point of it being labelled as such.

Next, we live on generalizations, Ibo's are businessmen, Yoruba's are educated, Benue people like women, these a generalization based on majorities. One should not shroud this under the guise that [not everyone is like that].

I've had the privilege to speak face-to-face with a number of South Africans, including a Zulu, xenophobia IS a problem you cannot wish away, the fact that it affects the lower class more does not negate this as they are the majority. The earlier we all admit it and face it rather than pretend like the government have been doing calling it 'crime' name the better. People are dying.

delishpot:
If you look well, you will see I was clearly blaming the bad eggs over there causing this problem.


I do not want any more deaths. Until the government solves this is, let them come home. Better alive than a dead medical doctor. South Africans are going about their anger the wrong way but the fact is nothing I type or think will change the hearts of south Africans if they thirst for blood. I can only sugest Nigerians leave before they are killed like chickens.

I think you've misunderstood the situation, so far NO Nigerian has been killed (according to the Nigerian ambassador in SA), these attacks are against all black Africans.

Now its easy to say: "Pack-up and Come home" or "Go back to your countries" like the Zulu King said, but I pose this challenge to you. Assume Nigeria were to divide into North and South, as you are with family, societal and business ties in one region and you were told to pack up and leave to the 'other country'. How simple is that going to be?? If you choose to be reasonable, you'd quickly realize how difficult.

Only the SA government can kick people out, which they've refused to do leaving them no rational choice but to weather the storm, and be sitting ducks for shameful acts of violence.

People's lives are tied-up, they have wives, husbands, children and businesses. It's very complicated.

1. I'm not Igbo, Yoruba, Hausa or Efik, I'm a Nigerian - my people have developed a bad reputation abroad, this is a fact. I will not blame any tribe for it, and I will not throw excuses when we're called out. Its a problem we started, and trust me we're slowly solving it.

1.1. Nigerians here are Angry, we have a right to be, African blood is being spilled by other supposed Africans in a developed country. Its unbecoming. It vexes the soul. If you loose a loved one you'll know.

2. Xenophobia is a real issue, no excuses! People are being burnt, children, women raped, not only in rural areas as we have seen from incidences in Durban and Jo'burg.

3. Xenophobia now and in recent past has affected Nigerians the least (after all is said and done).

A few articles to enlighten people...

http://www.issafrica.org/iss-today/xenophobia-in-south-africa-dispelling-the-myths-explaining-the-reality

http://www.censorbugbear.org/farmitracker/

http://mgafrica.com/article/2015-04-14-several-dead-in-south-africa-attacks-on-foreigners-swell-as-zuma-son-makes-anti-foreigner-sentiments-again/

http://www.dailymaverick.co.za/article/2013-05-28-analysis-the-ugly-truth-behind-sas-xenophobic-violence/#.VS3n1pOmSyw

http://www.censorbugbear.org/tag/xenophobia/

http://www.nyasatimes.com/2015/04/13/xenophobia-malawi-repatriating-its-nationals-from-south-africa/


4. To South Africans here, Africans are angry and we have good reason to be, there is no price, economics or morals for blood.
Your experience as citizens differ from that of foreigners, you cannot appreciate the gravity of that which does not affect you just like a doctor cannot fully comprehend an engineers work.

Let's not mince words. You people hate other Africans (in general), Ghanians least, Nigerians the most. (note I generalize because the majority holds true, just like everyone generalizes Nigerians as cheats and crooks), and for good reason.

We (Nigerians) are the supposed crooks and cheats doing bad things. Now I do know for fact the Russians are actually the real gangsters, I do know that KZN and its people are the ones who harbor hate the most, but I generalize also because its a South African issue, there should be no divisions along tribal lines.

Now is murdering children, looting and killing Somalians, Zimbabweans, Ethiopians, Rwandans, Congolese and co. the solution?? Is it justified by your standards as a right reward for them dirtying your streets and taking your jobs and women??

If 'Yes' then okay, eventually African foreigners will leave (trust me it'll happen) & I do hope you guys are better for it and don't end up like a country in Asia we know too well.

If 'No' then the first step is admitting there's an black African 'hate' problem in SA, and there's no justification for its growing momentum.

I hear you guys saying, they are illegal, they are everywhere, they take our jobs, cause crime, they take our women. The facts are, the jobs the illegals take - you do not want, the legal ones open shops and businesses (not your jobs, their businesses) and you burn and loot? The criminals (Nigerians), where is the police who hate us in the first place? Where is your immigration service? What is being done about the Russian mobs? (who are the really dangerous ones). The women...heh, lets not go there.

Is there a better way to kick people out? Of course yes, its been done before [http://www.citypulseng.com/2014/10/the-trauma-of-1983-ghana-must-go-era.html]. Do the same, surely your advanced country can handle this.

This isn't a new phenomenon. Was there blood shed? No. Today there isn't bad blood between us both. There are better ways to go about expelling black foreigners from your land.

Now while you're at it, also remember the actual FOREIGNERS on your soil (I need not elaborate further). Remember, that the bilateral agreements between yours and Brazil, China, India and Russia and co. (read on the migration rules your government have made with these countries and think hard), are largely benefiting them more than you. Remember they don't give a shit about us africans. They are the one's up top really taking your resources, your intellect, your land, your top top jobs, your power. Example: If Eskom falls who benefits?

5. To us black Africans. We need to wake-up, we blame the white man, we blame each other. People are off to live on Mars, and you're bickering over what?? Life is passing us by. This self-hate has to stop. It is a problem not only in SA but amongst us all, the violence in SA is arguably an extreme, but its reflective of the feeling towards each other as blacks everywhere ( U.S, Rwanda, Congo, Ivory Coast, Nigeria e.t.c)

6. To Nigerians here. I see you Nigerians (That Yourba vs Igbo thing) better shine your eyes, tribalism gets us where?? Other Nationalities have the temerity to insult us casually because of things like this. No time. You think because you're Yoruba or Igbo or Hausa you're better? Ha I laff in broken English, comot visit another country you go know se nobody send all that one (ask the SAn's), we are all the same Nigerians, they insult and hate us all equally.


P.S: BluIvy et al, You guys fine no be small, infact eh if not that one of your fellow women has already stolen my heart, I would've have begun the process of 'toasting' you