₦airaland Forum

It's called psychological manipulation.

Everyday, we are all being manipulated either in school, church, our homes, by the news we read.... And most people do not realize.

Great post, op.

MegMich:
[b]All these thread on marriage sef! Over-flogged! Did any of the partners change so quickly? You saw all these during courtship and still went ahead with the marriage for whatever reason[\b].

Be wise!
You were happy b4 marriage don't ever throw that away because everybody is getting married.

@ the bolded... I fail to get your point.

''You saw all these during courtship...'' you are so wrong! 95% of the time, people do not manifest the wrong side of their character during courtship.

Please read my op again. I am not sure you fully understand what I wrote.

From January up until this time, we have been reading and hearing news of horrible accidents like these... It's really sad.

When will our govt learn to place a restriction on these heavy duty vehicles? They have claimed over 5000 lives @ various location this year alone!

It is well. RIP to the dead... And strength to bear the loss to the families.

boboLIL:
11.... Committing adultery

In most cases, committing adultery doesn't come into the picture until a number of the listed things have happened.

Then the Love, Emotional connection and Trust is lost... And then the spouse(s) begin to look ''outside''.

Naija money @ work

christinie:
God help us.

He will, if you ask him to.

You equally have to play your part.

Bilabong:
Booked

On a monday morning?

There is a rapid increase in divorce cases in the world today.

Our darling nation, Nigeria is not left out of this trend.

So why do most marriages fail? Why do people go to the altar and after solemnly exchanging those vows, want out within the next couple of years?

In this write-up, I am going to give a list of 10 good reasons why I think a number of marriages crash. Enjoy them... and more importantly, learn from them whether you are married yet or not.

NOTE: There are numerous reasons why a marriage may fail.

Here are the top ten most common ones.

1. Selfishness: If you consistently put your wants and needs before those of your loved one, they may start to feel unwanted and unloved.

When there are too many needs that are neglected, your unloved spouse will end up feeling ignored and used. The most destructive forms of selfishness includes jealously, control, and manipulation.

But in less destructive forms, it consists of lack of respect and consideration.

And sad as it sounds, most Nigerian men are guilty of being jealous, control-freaks and over possessive. The women are not left out too, but it's more rampant among the male folk.

This is a ultimate marriage killer.

2. Disrespect in a marriage: All good marriages need acceptance, admiration, appreciation and emotional safety.

As you discover your different opinions and your differences as people, your anger and frustration can escalate to impatience, labeling, criticism, or simply hurting their feelings. Changing a spouse’s feelings by ridicule and brainwashing is disrespectful and is so unneeded. When you are constantly feeling “attacked” by your partner, it is often hard to continue loving them.

3. Dishonesty: Trust and respect is the basis of love. Lies and disloyalty destroys the trust in any relationship. Marriage is a partnership between two people who love each other. Each have to work just as hard as the other to ensure that there is trust. So ladies, stop screaming "My husby doesn't trust me; it kills me". You now know that to earn his trust, you need to work for it.

4. Bad habits and addictions: Addictions that are strong enough to be put ahead of your partner will doom a marriage to failure.

Anger, betrayal, hurt, and pain follow the wake of the addiction and can easily hurt the marriage.

Aldo, there are other forms of addiction that annoys your spouse. Imagine a man self-servicing all the time in presence of his wife. We had many complaints like this, even on Nairaland here.

Getting help with the addiction is key to keeping your marriage from falling apart.

5. Communication: When a marriage consists too much of blame, conflict, and verbal attacks, you start to feel as though you’re living with your enemy, not your best friend.

Marriage has to be a safe haven, not a place that you are afraid of.

No one can ever always be right. When you avoid a conflict, you only make it worse by not talking about it with each other.

The emotional connection is also then lost when they don’t share their opinions and don’t try to fix the problem.

6. Leading Separate Lives: When couples don’t spend enough time together, the relationship suffers.

When you begin to live independently, you lose the emotional connection and the joy a couple should have because of never being together.

Time needs to be put aside for each other for conversation and for fun.

Without these things, it’s easy to lose connection with your significant other.

7. Lack of affection: When there isn’t affection in relationships, such as kind words and caring
gestures, problems arise.

Without such things, your love for one another can feel hollow and unfulfilled.

I hear my Naija sisters chant all the time "Nigerian men are not romantic". Haba sister, being romantic is not for us alone. When last did you show your man how much you love him? Now you see that you are guilty too.

8. Lack of emotional intimacy: When one doesn’t share their feelings and goals, it leads to loneliness and sadness. The feeling of friendship comes from sharing such things and when these things become unshared, you lose that friendship with your spouse.

9. Angry outbursts and rages: Anger can create more anger and withdrawal, which both leads to communication issues. However, anger can also be purposeful and can help to solve problem.

10. Poor boundaries: In a marriage, you shouldn't go looking for other intimate relationships with people of the opposite sex. It will only create trust issues and possible retaliation from your spouse because of the hurt they may feel.

Once you lose the love, connection, and trust with a significant other, why would you still be with them?

A marriage is built on these three things, and once you lose them, the only thing you now have is lost communication between the two of you and a possible new enemy based on things that may have been said in a heated argument.

So let's learn to avoid these marriage killers and implement the things we need to implement for a better and conducive homes.

You can add yours.

I was wondering....

By the way Op, you could have done well to spice this up with pictures.

You should know much about the
"pics or adonbilivit crew" on NL.

Aareonakakanfo:
Your list is not updated. alakija is in the top 5

I love the Russians... And I also dislike them.

He sure deserves it.

Meanwhile, feast your eyes on my signature, if you're a man .

lurlah2014:
whp can shout the mouth of the drum from been loud?

That's your fvcking business girl.

naijaboiy:
[color=#1980BC]That's how they generalize up and down. [/color]

Don't mind the mofos. Your reply should shut her up!

naijaboiy:
[color=#1980BC]Is your daddy too? [/color]

She'd probably 'make love' to his photo too

LadyX:
Where is the groom?

She's very happy that she's married. Am wondering how she (they) will consummate the marriage.

Man take it easy.

There are people out there worse off than you; whether you believe it or not.

it's the fact.

Take it easy. After rain comes sunshine. your sunshine might not
be far away anymore.

Well...

Lol. Bad day.

ZianaJordana:
SHE IS DIRECTLY TELLING PEOPLE TO BLEACH, BECAUSE SHE'S PROMOTING A SKIN BLEACHING CREAM!

It doesn't matter, my dear. She's just featured on the billboard. It's not like she opened her mouth to tell anyone to use the bleaching cream. she just wants to collect her paycheck and be gone.

At 18, Olympus has fallen already...

Why you no upload your pics? I am sure your own lips resemble elephant yansh.

katiemadubiko:
[size=20pt]Her lips like fowl yansh[/size]

Great News!

The kinda news we love to hear.

Whatever.

Whoever was interested in bleaching will still bleach jare.

It's not like she's directly telling people to go and bleach. I don't see what the fuss is all about.

Irrelevant piece of shit!

And what are we supposed to do with it?

Booked.

Is that woman Goliath's wife?

How she take fit raise that kind mini-rock?

mazeech:
I pray he doesn't go with this type of woman at any time....

See photo