Uchihaitaci:


19) A chick may never be informed of the sacred rules of the bro code. A chick may be treated as a bro but never told of the rules. When reprimanding a girl for an infringement of the bro code, say “its just common courtesy.”

sooooooo you are obviously a guy pretending to be female which makes you a

TheArchangel:
What's that??
You can't just leave it. Urrgh!
I barf on your behalf.

TheArchangel:
.

TheArchangel:

TheArchangel:
You don't have to respond to me na. Just stop reminding her or NAGGING about it unless you are married to a child.
You sound so domineering, wTH.

metallisc:



oh.. quite unlike you, i don't have a comprehension/understanding problem. I have looked through and seen i'm not the only one trying to guide you back to the essence of the OP's issue (seeing that one flew over the cuckoo's nest ). I know you want to contribute to the topic in an intelligent manner, but unfortunately for you, you can't give what you don't have in the first place.

try having an open mind towards issues and life for better understanding- you come off as a spiteful wan.ker full of resentment... i only pity the male that will get entangled with you - if you haven't snared one into your trap that is...

Maximus85:


Keep an open mind. Visit this link. It has helped millions, you're next to be enlightened.

https://www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/family/couples-parents/

God is the originator of marriage and if you want to enjoy marriage, he's the best person to show you how.

Anonylander:
Just December 2015? You guys really have to seat down and trash it out cos when the kids come there' would be more. I sense lack of tolerance and immaturity and would advise that you prepare or buy your own food for a while and hope she comes around.
Or....
Stay with her while cooking and when she's about to add the quarrelling ingredient, remove your own portion of food and continue cooking

TheArchangel:
He doesn't want the best for his wife, he wants the best for himself. He want her to live like him not minding that she is a full fledged adult that has her own opinion. You want food to be cooked the way you want it not minding her own preferences. He is selfish and can't compromise. And a fuc.king nag too.

Will it be wrong for him to cookit and show her how it is done instead of salivating and comparing her with his neighbour? What a childish behavior.
Sometimes people lose it. We are talking about a young family...a wife... a husband....is this even an issue.?

Maximus85:
.
If she sees this story, she will know.

kingphilip:
so how's it between you and her now

martyns303:


Reading through your post, I was like is this guy dating Rachael? My Fiancee is every bit of what you've described, down to the last detail.

You respect her opinions, you take her advice, you guys do things that are favourable to her, but she won't give u same coutesy.

I get running stomach if more than 2 cubes of seasoning cubes are used to cook a meal, it took forever before she adjusted, I simply bought Imodium instant and was taking it. I love unripe plantain, she prefers using alum to make it soft, which is not healthy. When I complained she said she won't be able to eat plantain without it. Nothing has made her change her mind.

Brother! Your wife loves you, trust me I know, she just have a problem with authority, she likes doing things her way and if you complain she will see it as you pushing her around. I know as a man you will see it as disrespect, just try to manage the ones you can. Beside this attributes, she's every inch a good person.

And if you are a soft and gentle guy like me, you will start thinking maybe its because you are gentle that's why she's taking you for granted. Don't make the mistake of trying to be hard on her, or start shouting at her, she will run into her shell and you won't like it. Cheers man

Maximus85:


And do you think she'll appreciate it that you took her case to the public? If you don't mind I have a proposal for you both. You will find a lasting solution to your marital issues. If you are interested, please let me know.

KingRex1:
(She thinks) you nag n complain alot, so when she does something wrong or makes a mistake, she keeps it from you cus shes afraid of being judged or shouted upon.. You prolly think you don't but you do.

Love ur wife more n never try not to overeact, you will see u gona get a better heart to heart talk n understand why she doesn't apologise. It could be her way of curbing conflicts n avoiding misunderstanding.

She is urs to protect, you can't be against her

Tobiloba84:
I am in no way close to getting married so I dont know if my opinion is valid here but I will give my piece because I think I am involved with a woman like this, and we have been together for 5years now. To start with sir, the last thing you want to is to involve a third party in your marriage, as a matter of fact never try to do such, no one I mean no single one will understand and get to the root of the situation, they will only blame a party and have the other apologize, thereby leaving the other party weak at heart. On the issue of not putting out her reservation before things get out of hand, sir Its not exactly her fault, she had lived her whole life taking those decisions like that, as a matter of fact people like that only feel pain when its happening, after that time they forget and let go very easily although they cry about it sometime in their closet. Now as her man, all you have to do is be proactive and take those steps for her if you can, believe me she wont be mad at you neither would it mean you bossy like some people who dont understand her person would say. On the issue of apology the main subject sir, holy shit most time she wont even do when she knows its wrong, I threaten my girlfriend before she apologises over some issue, but as we grow together I just overlook it knowing thats her (and sir I believe marriage is taking her for who she is) this also happens when I get her stuffs or get something done for her, I wont be surprised to know she doesnt appreciate or say thank you like every other person does, its just their way, most of these people are of the phlegmatic temperament class, just read on temperament to understand some of her trait. Now to the wife (since your man said you will get to view this thread), dont feel all relaxed thinking you cant be replaced or pushed to do things, you don't have to be selfish or live life like you still single, make your man happy, open apology is what people like him{a dominant choleric) needs, it makes us feel important, loved and appreciated. Just consider his happiness and marriage because I bet this might get out of hand for him someday if you continue this way. I wish you the best in your marriage.

ABEngine:

Coming from a lady, this is utterly abysmal, especially one whom is intended to give the teeming readers a soft landing as to the reasons why a lady might be out rightly adamant to a plea.

However nnamdi said it all, and I have just one point to add to his.

One more thing most men do is create a sort of communication barrier in an instantaneous feat of disappointment, disapproval or rage thereby leaving no options for the lady to get to us with an apology.

Oftentimes she may want to apologize but will be met by the heavy ambience of this sort of energy exuded and like I have noticed, the longer the duration of this energy; the farther away an apology gets.

I think if this is the case, being outspoken with selectively mild words and affectionate contacts will result in a quicker apologies. Timing is also of essence.

kingphilip:
I've built myself over the years to not accept apologies and commendation because I see them as nothing.

Why apologize when it was in your power not to cause what will lead to apologizing and saying thank you to me too just doesn't go down well with me and sometimes makes me not to render any assistance again so as not to gain that

Op everyone is wired differently and so we must all tolerate and compromise a little in order to accommodate each other not to the detriment of putting our lives on the line though

NB: I still apologize to people and also appreciate too whenever my actions seems to get to people though and when an assistance is rendered to me because I understand most people love that and requires that for every offenses committed and every assistance rendered..

In a nutshell take everything lightly and find a way not to get angry, joke about everything, laugh it off and you'd see that everything will begin to fall in place

I'll love to really ask this question answer honestly

Did you stay in the hostel during your university days??

My tolerance was hatched, nurtured, built and matured there.. I tolerate everyone except when my grievances comes from within though

Wishing your family peace and many other families passing through a misunderstanding phase I speak peace

Good night great people of nairaland

sambisa5:
Don't you think you are expecting so much from her?
We only heard your side,,we haven't listened to her yet....
And if you ask me, for even bringing your family affairs to social media is a lot of immaturity from you....
..
So try understand ur wife, apologizing may not be anything to her. Perhaps, she had an upbringing where you don't need to apologize for anything, and she is used to it. It may not be ego or pride, it has just become a nature.

Mayflowa:


. Coming from you, this is really e nice

I don't know why she would keep cooking with what will harm you!
Does she apologize by unspoken word? That is truer than a mere sorry. She may be scared of you Be might not want to argue with u. Do u keep complaining?

Burgerlomo:
Do you normally apologize to her too whenever you're wrong? Because it's supposed to be a vice versa, and if your answer is yes then she suppose to go and so ewe agbeje mowo , I mean put herself into check before she push you out into the hands of your colleagues just to start with, or into the hands of those husband snatchers out there, her ego can't take her anywhere.

repogirl:
Lol, OP sounds exactly like my husband. but you are not him, cos he is not a Nairalander ....or is he?

Op, your wife you described sounds like my very self, and you sound like my husband although we have been married a few years now so we have adjusted quite well to each other.

My husband hates salt , he prefers eating bland food to something salty although I have eaten a few of the stuff he eats at work o and it's quite salty but when I cook my own and miscalculate the salt a few times, he will not let me hear word again. Lol.

Anyway .... you have married, I can only ask you to accept her the way she is. Afterall, you already knew this before you went ahead and married her. There must be something good about her and that's why you married her. Don't let irrelevant things push you two apart pls.

You two are still adjusting as you only just married a few months back. Give it time and you will both understand each other better. It's quite hard for her to drop years of formed habits just like that.

You need to push her gently where she needs to be pushed. It might seem like work but that's marriage . Realise her faults and make room for it, work with her strengths and make her better.

Over time, she might get to understand how you feel about apologies and would oblige you. Back then I myself could keep malice for days but I think I'm quite better now. Lol.

So please, make room for her... noone is perfect. Ofcourse always let her know when she has misbehaved but don't nag and nag about it after she has understood. With time she will become the woman you want her to be, hopefully .

shogotermies:
Buh Sir nairaland isn't the best place to resolve family issues oo.
And one thing sir,the internet never forget any story...
You are man enough, you should know how to resolve issues within your family,without bringing it to anyone.

Thank you

Richy4:
You guys are normal bro.... u are doing what married people do.... You annoy one another and make up...

Just take it easy on the nagging though so that she too can take it easy on the product (maggi) on your food....

Naturalle:
Oh Lord, 99% perfect and you have created a topic on top the 1% imperfection

You already have a solution to this matter! Now that you know that her silence and dilly dallying means objection, just ask her point blank what her reservations are weneva u notice these attitudes. Help break her silence instead of letting her stew in it.

And for the person that said it's wrong for a wife to disobey husband... o ga ooo.

melejo:
If she likes reading I suggest you both should buy and diligently read the book " five languages of apology" by Chapman

Brightgem:
Seems u have been very open to communicating and she needs to be very open as well, I wnt say ur controlling but u knw best what is going on and hope posting it on NL wnt cause a big rift. However this behaviours are not correct, disobedience is incorrect, and not trashing any issues and saying lets move ahead is killing the relatnship small small. Communication shd jus flow easily. Well all I knw is love/marriage is hard work

shadeyinka:

One of the most important rule for success in marriage is to know that:
You CANNOT Change your Spouse!

It is too late! Find a way to turn her weakness into that which will not bother you. Enjoy your marriage inspire of her weakness.

She had always been like that however, love didn't allow you to make it an issue.

She can change, but its going to take a long long time.

Maximus85:


You said you had issues like this months before marriage and you went headlong. It's your cup of tea. So deal with it. Remember, if you're a true Christian, you can't divorce her except you catch another man ontop of her.

Love is not compatability. Love is not enough to getting married.

One advise I can give you is..... Explain your mind to her. Don't act it. Enhance your verbal communication. If she won't respect you and apologize, you go ahead and respect her and apologize when you err. The Bible said when it comes to showing honor, you should take the lead.

mecussey:


My bro, with due respect sir, but you are a difficult person. I could not manage to finish the long write up but the little i did, i discovered that that her offence is only in the kitchen. You have a good wife who even buy and hide, thats respect. She likes the ingredient but you dont, thats the fact. However, we have worst case than this, keep advising her, she will change and dont be a dictator, she is a human.

Kimoni:


God bless your marriage

d33types:

Oga, my fiance is exactly this as well.we are perfect except for this same attitude .
I hope to learn from you

general111:
op I had an ex who behaved exactly like your wife. Full of ego and pride. I had to teach her how to say sorry.
Each time she offended me, I knew she would want to say sorry at a point but just could not voice it. So I would go close to her, hold her waist or her lips and jokingly ask her to say sorry. Sometimes, she will want to play hard to get in it too, but I will keep insisting till she spills it out. Gradually she began to lsay sorry.
Op, she is your wife and your other half, you should complement her ,sir. if she can't say sorry then teach her how to say it in a loving way. Blv me it works, and she will love you more. Till today my ex still misses me..