₦airaland Forum

Candycrushy:
Op I need to have some private discussions with u...thats if u dont mind...I have plenty things to say

OK you may call me on 08143236959.

Thomas333:
You are a good person who wants to do the right thing. Love is not a one-way street, which is what yours is. A woman having a daughter for you and a traditional wedding isn't enough as you must ask yourself if you are ready to beg her all through the marriage - that's if she eventually agrees to marry you. Move on man, she's most likely found another man and is sending you the messages which you aren't getting clearly. I know it can be painful but I guarantee you, it's a lot less painful now than 5 or 10 years down the marriage. Use your head man

Thanks Thom boss,am using my head now and no longer my heart, to the strong men in the house I am so sorry for falling your hands by shedding tears for her initially, right now I have developed an impenetrable heart for her even my late Parents would slap me if I go contrary.

maasoap:
You're very much on point. She's coming back, that time, it will be too late if @op knows that this is the right time to move on

@Maasoap,I have moved on already.

Thanks.

pocohantas:
Most times you see a man dragging for custody, it has totally nothing to do with how he feels about the child. You will be thinking he wants to do a better job, na lie! He will collect the child and go dump with any female member of his family. The idea is just to punish the mother.

Makes me wonder why they even bother in the first place. It is the inmocent child in the middle of the whole mess I always pity.

I am that type of person at the end of life I know I will give account of my daughter before the creator.Despite my tight hustle schedule I still create out time for my daughter.And I will and must still do same.

Skmoda360:
Please bro add this to it, don't ever look back by thinking she is gonna change or come through it by calling you.....she has no love for you.....she is a bitch, try and collect your daughter with the aid of your family cuz she might influence your daughter with negative vibes..I pray not to meet this kinda woman in my life that's why I don't date girls with lot of friends....when a girl have more than enough friends she tend to listen to the negative instructions from them and to influence her in negative manner will be easy so just loosen up and get yourself a pretty good woman....one is already waiting for you just look around...cheers

Thanks Skmoda360, no looking back.

frankike1:
The way Op sounds u will know he’s going back to the girl. I don’t waste time giving advice to such stupid Op

Frankike, Never again!!! I mean it.

Fashdeejay:
Dude, dont force it... if u marry her you will hate yourself. If she says she is done, let her be.... provide for your child, let her do the rubbish she wants to do but my suggestion is u request that the child be given to her parents as u do not want her doing shit in front of your child... move on with your life. After a few years of gbas gbos.. she will come back to you... by then you'd be better off.... Pray for her and bid her farewell

Amen!!!!!,I hear you sir.

teesquad007:
Bro, to be frank, you need to grow up and be a man. Its not everytime that issues happen that you rush to tell her parent. Woman or ladies can be funny a times especially when there attention has shifted to some else. She sees the guy often more than you & he has been keeping her company. Her eyes will be open soon when the guy finished with her as only a few single guys will marry a single mother.My advice to you is to just collect your daughter & take her to your parent or sister & free her for life cos I trust, she will come back to beg you. Think twice unless u continue eating what someone has eaten.

Advise heeded,thanks boss.

bigpicture001:
Dont marry kids....i repeat, guyz quit marrying kids

She is 25, yes old.

Bush2013:
Your health is important for us, leave that girl now to save yourself from dying of hypertensive heart disease. When going go with a family member who will be given you head up there

Bush thanks a lot,the dad told me to come alone that its not yet a full family matter,but I won't try that my pastor has asked me to go with two of my family members.The mum called me that I should carry them in my ride and come down but by morrow I will call her to tell her that won't be possible in a polite manner,she should look for her way as she said initially.

Jayso1234:
You are correct, however, we are only getting one side of the story and I was being optimistic from the view that since he says she has been bringing up grievances against him, he is not entirely innocent. Perhaps he has apologized before and then reverted back. The poster says he has changed, so I will give him the benefit of the doubt, but depending on the offences, it may be hard for her to forgive. Perhaps this next meeting would determine everything, but it seems the poster has already made up his mind. A lot of men have responded, but it seems not many women have. Just because she was talking to the other man, does not mean she has moved on. Perhaps she is trying to be hard because she felt unfairly treated. Any way, the ball is in their court.

Only two weeks of incommunicado yet i was sending money which she never appreciated because I reported her to her dad.She has much fear and respect for her dad,and since she does not take my advice I resorted to help from her dad whom she listens to,she is just using my report as an excuse.She is into a lot of bad activities behind me.she can no longer withstand my sincere and seemingly godly presence hence the need for this current reaction of hers.She told me plainly she is now mature and wise that she is no longer interested after I have paid her dowry,school fees,financial upkeeps from year 1 till this final year only for her to turn.What excuse does she have will her dad kill her even if I report to her dad.Men I appreciate all the advises but my mind is made up I have balls now,I need my daughter that's all,never again.

IntrovertedK:
so you can be more mature like this with your write up buh you kept writing how you were calling her parent times without number. You are going to turn yourself to a joke before them if you haven't already. If she wants to go, let her. You can't force love and attention.

Thanks men but I don't need her anymore to be sincere,am assured in my spirit that if I leave this girl there will be open door for me in this life and I will live longer by His grace.

IntrovertedK:
you are too immature. Your immaturity stinks. And from your writeup i can easily tell the type of person you are and your kinda background. Advice can't do anything, your foundation is somehow.

I agree I am immature for asking for advice,but remember in a multitude of counsel there is safety.your constructive criticism sends me more to a high pedestal.Thanks

pansophist:
So let me get this straight. (under the assumption that she is at fault here)

She has your daughter, she is hanging out with another man, no sense of appreciation when you give her money, she has changed and became rude to you and admitted that she is done with the relationship. In your own part, you're willing to commit, financially okay, a good dad to your daughter, and a young man. Like seriously what the heck is wrong with you?

By social standards, you're an attractive man and the kind many ladies are searching for. Like someone said earlier, you do not know your value and still stuck in this typical beta mindset of seeing women as a prize, a creature to appease with begging and burnt sacrifices. Your love for her has clouded your sense of principles, boundaries and worth. You can easily get another woman, but I can't say the same for her, men typically do not go for women with a kid already.

Gave her your last warning, sternly, and if she didn't change, move on. Adopt an abundance mindset. Focus on making yourself an attractive man, and enjoy women in their variety. Begging a woman for commitment is an antithesis. It signifies that you have no options, and that's an instant attraction killer. If the manosphere does anything, it helps men fummigate these beta behaviours like yours away, and make you easily navigate the world with your head, instead of your heart, and that's exactly what she is doing to you.

@Pansophist how I wish you and those who have given me good advice will meet together after my meeting with her family to celebrate the outcome of the meeting how I will stand my ground to shame the devil.No dulling this time around my head has gotten oil now,no more heart work again.To God be the glory,Pansophist God bless and keep you for us.

I shall update you all on the outcome.


Obinoscopy
Mynd44
Lalasticlala
And other mods pls push front page.Thanks

Ineedyouradvise:
Life can be SO unfair, sometimes I just wish there's a way to see into the future before making that decision of getting married!

I assure you all who have contributed immensely in advising me to ball up as a man,that after the meeting with her parents I shall update you all.

mp3ree:
Guy most time the mother of the mother of the girls are privy to everything going on.My advice ,she should take a public transport,since she refused the initial request why change her mind.

Mpree Sir,sincerely I suspect this,the girl ask me to go my way that she will find her way too how come the mother is now asking me to go and carry them,I smell something fishy here Mpree.

Tumbulum:
bros you have an opportunity to marry a brand new girl and leave your girlfriend to whoever is interested in marrying second hand. You should be very happy for another opportunity to have you a new loyal girl.

Thumbs up men.

amaham:
I hope this will be the last meeting between you and them. Halt every white marriage plans and show her you can thrive without her. I think you want to marry her because she's the mother of your child, this doesn't always go well. Just allow her complete this hoeing phase, or else, she'll continue it from your matrimonial home.

Done deed,thanks Amaham

slimay:
Shame the devil. Leave her first so she won't tell the story of her breaking the relationship

You make sense o but how do I go about this?

enuk80:
I will advise you to live the woman immediately. She is not a good woman. She will turn you to trash if you continue with her. The best thing like everyone one has said above me is to move on with your life. I will also advise you to take custody of your daughter(s) so as to look after her (them). Your children don't need to be influence by your ex wife attitude. Let your ex wife be and move on with your life. This is part of life and you are not the first to go through this challenges. She is ungrateful and trying to manipulate you with your past.

Enuk80 I dough my hat for you a million time am feeling better now by all your worthy contributions towards helping me.may you.be rewarded in good also.

Charleys:
Guy leave her alone, leave that your daughter alone.

The new guy will train your daughter for you.

Charley leaving my daughter alone go hard oo,I wan drop my little daughter with the evil woman mother. You want make she spoil that little girl over there? Or make they initiate the girl? I no fit do that one o

Angelacruz:
It is vivid dat she does not love nor respect u.Dnt be shock dat another guy is paying her bills,deceiving her n also sleeping wit her.Jst train ur daughter n cancel d wedding.U can get married to anoda lady later but nt nw jst take ur tym.Gudluck

Thanks Angelacruz your advise is well taken,may you live long.

AwkaetitiBabe:
Remember an innocent kid is in between all these. You guys should go for the family meeting and lay ur cards on the table. If she insists on leaving, let her go. You'll die prematurely if u keep a lady who actually doesn't wanna be kept.

Awkaetiti you follow for people wet get oil for head,we shall lay our cards but I won't continue I cried like a baby all through the night but she ignored me.I felt like a wounded lion thinking of another guy strafing your woman codedly all this while,but thanks be to God for revealing all these to me.

GeniusWannabe:
And you blatantly ignored the part where he talked about the guy that visited her.

Ask them my brother its unfair supporting evil,while I was kneeling down to beg her even when she was the one at fault a guy came to knock on seeing me he turned back and immediately she jumped to follow the guy,I then ask a relation who was the guy and he had the guts to tell me its her friend.Somebody that is already engaged for marriage keeping boy friend.

AwkaetitiBabe:
The advice I'll give to you is to quit reporting her to parent. You a grown man, deal with ur problems accordingly. Importantly never force a woman to stay with you. Give her a breather if she get sense, she retrace her steps.

I have dialogue with her series of time,and since she refuse changing cant i lay the issue to her parents should bad guys rape her in school wont i be called to say something? yes I had my own flaws am not perfect but having resolved those flaws with her and her parents why is she now trying to bring them up again, why did she not say she is not interested before I paid the dowry,as you can see something is really wrong with her at the background she has someone deceiving her.

JONNYSPUTE:
.. You should also cut off all the allowances you used to give her.Let those people deceiving her take over.Your only interest from now should be your daughter's welfare.

Thanks my senior,I have started doing that she thought as usual I will send the fees of my daughter to her account as usual but her brain reformat when I told her am changing my daughters school or better still if I will pay I will pay directly to the school account.

Apination:
Pussy ass nigga, begging like a bitch

I accept the insult but remember the soul has no rainbow hath the eyes no tears. Meekness is not weakness.The tears of a warrior has repercussion.my tears did wash my soul and all the charms and manipulation she has used on me I am now free IJN

Zubi10:
You're just been wicked ....what rubbish talk is this??

Ask me oo how can my wife dress provocatively in my absence for what? A girl from a good Christian background, but in school like Jezebel even after I have spoken one on one with her that other men may take advantage of her dressing and talk to her anyhow.

MissJoy29:
Do you plan to take her? Will she let go without a fight? Btw, how old is your little girl?

I planned taking my little girl of 4yrs to her grandmother to look after her.if I live her with that evil woman,she may influence her negatively and use her to siphon money from me.

yeyeosoronga:
Where are your own family members (parents, sisters, uncles ) in this equation? Abi you no get family? Why are you meeting with her people without your own people present?
When going for the meeting, bring your family along, including your elders, parents or siblings. Tell her parents that your car is filled up as you are bringing your people along too in the car.
Finalise whatever is between you people there and then. Are you moving forward or you're breaking up. If breaking up, finalise there and then how you will be responsible towards your child together and custody arrangements between your families.
Life is not that hard, and only as hard as we make it. Go prepared for the meeting, especially if things cannot continue between you two. Have your points ready, and no need for drama. Just state facts on how to move forward

Thanks a million brotherly,my own parents are late,but I have five siblings on ground maybe I should go with them or take like two along.

Sorry.I could remember the dad said both of us should come alone without any other party should I obey him? All the time her dad believes in me and do much to correct her but she would channel the grievances towards me and label her father a bad man.

Tastyme:
You still refer to her as your "wife"? Anyways, its obvious you really still love her and that love will be used to manipulate you, by both her parents and her. You can take her in your car, for the sake of your innocent daughter. Again, it really makes no sense to expend twice on the same journey with the same destination. But the true test of your manliness will come from your ability to do this and still stay aloof. Women tend to take a man they feel is at their beck and call for granted. Hers is compounded by the fact that she has a pawn - ur daughter. You need to focus ONLY on your daughter and look past dis lady. I'll bet she's in her early twenties. Unfortunately, we no dey too get sense at dat age and so hardly even recognize wat we really want. But don't be her fool. Make her know your interest from this point is your daughter, nothing else. You cant force love, if she says she dosent want you anymore, let her go! She'll most likely regret it in future, but it'll be her loss, not yours. Also, be careful not to let her parents manipulate you to go back on any decision you take on your relationship with their daughter. If they fail to talk some sense and instill some discipline in their daughter, then its their problem not yours. The decision to take your daughter to her granny is a good one. Let her stay there for now it'll make you less vulnerable to this lady till you sort things out better.
Finally, in all these, dont forget to live! Make the most of every opportunity, meet new people and open yourself to love again. Life is too short to let anyone steal your happiness.

Tastyme what of if I get emotional in the car with them and loss control,I appreciate your wonderful advice.she has really manipulated me but its enough of my mumurity and humility. Never again!!! This time around at least I dedicate my stand this time around to my late father,mother and brothers.Thanks.