Methinks seun is just winding up u womenfolk, cos he usually holds much more intelligent positions

I thot so Klex,My Seun is too good for nonsense things,
he cant stoop so low to hit a lady

men who beat their wife are half men.simple

That is true a man that beats his wife or eva lays hands on a woman is worthless. he aint worth to be called a man.. he is lacking in some department so he is trying to make up for it... but aint man enough to beat on someone their own size.. they are just plain sissies...

I believe that any man laying hands on his wife not is not a responsible man.
Whatever she might have done you don't beat your wife.
It is totally uncalled for, not only barbaric but animalistic.

i can't lay hands on my wife for whatever reason.

i don't agree with u on this issue at all seun, why should a woman have to train her son not to be a wife beater? thats absurd! would a man rely on his mother to teach him how to have sex?(excuse my language) u had better be kidding on this seun because i definately have a different opinion of u love.

i feel any man that beats his wife up is nothing but a Socially Challenged Uneducated Male i.e a SCUM, a complete Nutter and a freaking PRICK.  these kind of men should not be in the midst of people, perhaps a zoo is the right place (where even animals don't do that) or a jungle where they can be isolated from right thinking human beings.

i wonder if it is actually not the men that we should be sorry for atimes because it seems like some mental issue here, it just dosent make sense, how can violence be a way of communicating with a woman u call your wife for that matter? i sense some male incompetence / lack of self esteem here, otherwise, what will make a man raise his hand to a woman who we all know he can obviously overpower, even when he is asleep.

i really feel for women going through DV and i can only wonder why they r still hanging on, its everywhere by the way but it's a crime in alot of places except africa, come to think of it, there aint laws in africa anwway.

Legs, the level of domestic abuse is alarming, and I can prove it!

Seun I do not doubt that; (neither do I doubt your ability to roll out some statistics in support at the drop of a hat! ) so what exactly is your point? Cos I clearly remember stating previously that women who will take matters into their own hands are likely to go ahead and do it without giving prior warning; I definitely did not mean to imply that the percentage of women who are victims of d.v is neglible!

Why does it have to be the women who need to seek help. i believe ANGER MANAGEMENT classes are available for men as well or show ur frustrations in d gym instead of bashing up the one u supposedly love/care about.

makes me remember the movie Anger management starring Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson.

It is the women who need help because they are the ones being beaten black and blue! Get it? The husbands are perfectly happy with their beating privileges and they have no problem as far as they are concerned. But why can't the women - who know what they are suffering - speak out, help each other, liberate themselves?

Seun:

It is the women who need help because they are the ones being beaten black and blue! Get it? The husbands are perfectly happy with their beating privileges and they have no problem as far as they are concerned. But why can't the women - who know what they are suffering - speak out, help each other, liberate themselves?

and when the women speak out (not that they can. they're in Africa where no such thing as freedom exists  ) men say they're being feminists seeking equal rights not knowing females are just trying to improve their horrible condition.
that's never going to happen in the US. The guy would get jailed becuase here, women have rights just as men do. no man's going to tell his wife "look, as an african muslim (or whatever) you have to cover yourself from head to toe before going outside everyday".. .  that's ridiculous. that's what you do to slaves.

that's why i disagree with tons of biblical contents. it encourages slavery and gender inequality (sexism)
Eve is the bad woman
Jesus is a guy
all his disciples are guys
women must cover their heads in church (an extreme version of this is muslim females covering head AND faces with black cloth. that's just plain abuse)
women can't go near God's presence (alter or whatever)
and I can go on and on and on.

the bible also support slavery. don't even let me start quoting. it's not going to end. that old middle age view of things is still practiced today and i think it's a disgrace to africans because the occidental got rid of most. they sure are way smarter than us.

I am with Seun on this one oh.

It is a vicious cycle.
A man beats his wife, his wife continues to take it, so the son assumes he has a right to beat his wife.
The son then beats his wife, who again continues to take it and their son learns to do it even better.

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
-Eleanor Roosevelt-

You think the first time your husband beats you and you hold a knife to his d*&k that night, he will try it again?

In response to Seun's comments on women being solely responsible, do you think the situation in Nigeria/Africa is conducive for women to come out against domestic abuse? The last time I checked, women are still being treated as second class citizens (most of the time anyway). As long as men continue to believe that women should be the ones to fight this evil, the situation is not going to change. I believe both men and women shoudl speak out passionately against this evil in our society.

Yes, there are wife beatings in America, but in America, this crime is punishable. In Nigeria, it seems that men are entitled to beat their wives. There is a problem with a society that doesnt not do anything to punish these crimes knowing fully well that it is an everyday occurence.

Nways, I have promised myself to get a sigma belt before getting married. I feel sorry for that man that would dare lay his hands on me. He will surely have an handful!

Women as second class citizens? These scary and dangerous creatures that we spend all our time fantasizing about are second class?

do you think the situation in Nigeria/Africa is conducive for women to come out against domestic abuse?

If you are waiting until the situation for positive social change to become conducive, it will never happen. If wishes were horses, beggars will ride. Yes, it's not conducive, it never is. This is how we differentiate between the real women and the old girls who look like women!

So a woman comes out and announces that her husband is beating her. In all honesty, what is the first reaction she gets? I believe it will be one of indifference. The society as a whole has done nothing to address this crime. Until both men and women can come together to find a solution to this problem, with men not thinking that it's a woman's fight, change is not going to happen.

'wife beating' is prevailent world wide
if a man beats another man, u wouldnt expect either of them to run around for help or support.
u'd expect him to fight back.
a woman is equal to a man, so what i expect is that she fights back.
i know she may be physically weaker but men have a weak spot below the belt.
i've used it several times and it has helped to get me out of dire situations including intended rape by a stranger.
dont see urselves as the weaker and expect support from no one because like it or not, its a mans world.

i think this topic is taking the a wrong turn.

Women who are in abusive relationships and choose to stay are not exactly at fault. For whatever reason, they are tied to the abuser. Everywhere in the world, the problem is the same. Women who wont stay in these relationships get out, others stay until something triggers them to run (either kids are threatened or they felt that the last time they were beat, they almost died). Without that trigger, their best source of help is other people and the law. First, the law needs to protect them and provide a way to extricate themselves from that situation and punish the offender. Second, they need people who won't listen to their ("he promised this was the last time") and will goto the authorities.

However, even with this, without the women lodging or filing reports documenting abuse, it is sometimes hard to prove. Then the woman may be able to separate herself, but may lose custody of her children to her abuser. So, for those women, this is a vicious catch-22.

Beating your wife is so harsh, no matter her offence, men shouldn't hit women

Men shouldn't hit their wife is wrong,though matter what she might have done to cause the man to beat her.

I started reading Seun's first post about the reponsibility being the females' with scepticism and then realised how right he was.

If we allow men to continue smacking us like it's their right and making us feel like we deserve it, then they will continue.

As my mum says, "The man who is going to beat me, has not been born yet!"

Omo

the only reason why African women bear so much with this treatment is because:
1: they law isn't by their side. what does the state do to men who beat their wives?
2: women are so much attached to their vow to stay for better and for worse and always believe that one day things will be alright.
3: religions don't support divorce and women who run away from their husbands house are seen very badly by the society.
4: when they want to get married a man pays a diary for the woman, so it's like the woman is now the man's property, even though it's just a way for the man to show appreciation to the family who has accepted to give their daughter to him to marry.

And what is the solution?

simple...they should travel out of Africa to see how other states protects women right. i know that Africa will never do anything to improve the situation since it's a man-world. it's too convenient for them like this.

4 real, i think most things Nigerians do they go to far. wife beating is a form of abuse, i still don't understand why a man would wanna beat his wife. if my man beats me, i will kill him. i mean DAT .

Wife beating! a very bad altitude. I can castrate a guy for beating his wife

Seun:

And what is the solution?

the solution in my opinion is EDUCATION.

let both parties understand that it's wrong.
a lot of men know themselves that wife beating is wrong but some are just stronghearted and do it anyways when they are angry because they know that they are physically stronger than their wives and they also know that they are not going to get arrested for it.

maybe if Nigeria gets a female president/governor, the law will be on our side a little (it's been on the mens side for way too long!). I totally agree with Michelin89.
If men who constantly beat their wives get fined or arrested, they'll stop it. but when society (especially the government (which is dominantly male by the ways) does nothing about it, nothing's going to happen.

@ Seun - this no be personal attack but my dear with all those unsightly comments, you've succeeded in touching a raw nerve with this one.so I want you to wake up and smell the coffee:

The simple definition of domestic violence gives you the answer to who is to blame  DEF: Domestic violence can be defined as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner.

Men are physically stronger than women and 9 times of 10 instinctively want to be in control over situations surrounding them and their women - which sometimes is absolutely fine. The moment it boils down to violence, a fist in the face, a black eye, etc I give it one reason - COWARDICE (unless you can proof you have a psychological problem, which will need a hospital and/or anger management classes. Which man in his right mind (bearing in mind he physically is stronger than his adversary in this case a female) will lift a finger upon her (when he KNOWS she can't fight back)? Why don't you guys just find your match/punch a wall/or keep a boxing ring at home? And why do it the FIRST time in the FIRST place? What point does battery proove?

Not to mention the over-enthused myth in africa that by paying a woman's bride price she is considered 'bought' by the man and his to physically re-manufacture and manoevre and remodel at his discretion - hence sometimes women being beaten to beyond recognition.and worse to death!

Or better still, the guy who was asked why he batters his lovely wife and his response? 'Because I love her' .......some perverted/weird/spooky/to be made extinct love....

Seun, (plus all other lovely guys in this forum)  if you ever touch one hair on the head of your girlfriend/wife (which you are soon to reveal to us as Snazzyy hehe) .....I wil FINISH YOU........! Imagine......

This topic reminds me of where we use to live in Lagos back in the days but its the opposite though cux na the man dey get the beating! His wife is almost three times his size and strong too!

it's sick,the wices should have some respct too

so this still go on?

JJYOU:

so this still go on?

obviously, as long as you get pastors/family saying don't worry just be patient or come for paryers

maybe if Nigeria gets a female president/governor, the law will be on our side a little

you don't need to be governors/president before you change things -just close 'shop' _{or get a gun!}