Leilah:

as i have said this thread is not about that. i simply want the man to eat.

Pin him down and force feed him. That's what i do to my husband after ive finished cooking and he refuses to eat my food.
After you finish forcefeeding him and you are sure he is full, punch him in the stomach to show him who is boss!

spoilt:

Pin him down and force feed him. That's what i do to my husband after ive finished cooking and he refuses to eat my food.
After you finish forcefeeding him and you are sure he is full, punch him in the stomach to show him who is boss!

Husband Abuse! I am calling husband services on your abusive ass!

spoilt:

Pin him down and force feed him. That's what i do to my husband after ive finished cooking and he refuses to eat my food.
After you finish forcefeeding him and you are sure he is full, punch him in the stomach to show him who is boss!

woah!! married life has changed, I see!

Haba, people.
This question is a very simple one. It appears to me that many nairalanders are no longer treating nairaland as an open source forum that it is supposed to be anymore.

Are all that advice on her marriage necessary? Some even needs to know about her sisters when he hasnt offered any help.


@Leila,

I might help. I' ve been cooking since my secondary school days.

joachebe@gmail.com

debosky:



Husband Abuse! I am calling husband services on your abusive ass!

next time he sees me downloading my recipes for his next meal, he'll get ready to chow.

morenike09:

woah!! married life has changed, I see!

they have two choices either eat it or eat it!!! marriage according to spoilt.

@ Leilah

u and ur husband should please make a reality show, trust me it will sell, the rate at which u guys always have one issue or the other/the rate at which u seem to have a negative observation of nigerian men or culture. i some time wonder if u really just post to get attention

Leilah is every man's dream of a wife. A woman who goes out of her way to please and respect a husband who sometimes doesnt appreciate her. Many in her shoes would long have headed to the law courts filing a divorce.

Hopefully u reap the rewards of ur patience.

4 Him:

Leilah is every man's dream of a wife. A woman who goes out of her way to please and respect a husband who sometimes doesnt appreciate her. Many in her shoes would long have headed to the law courts filing a divorce.

Hopefully u reap the rewards of your patience.

4him is this you talking about Leilah? Shakes head to clear it. his post is still here. wonders oh!

spoilt:

4him is this you talking about Leilah? Shakes head to clear it. his post is still here. wonders oh!

I don repent, the girl is a good wife.

I agree. She sounds like a wonderful wife and mother.

hopefully her husband will see it.

@ spoilt

after viewing ur profile and seeing the tomb raider pic, i finally understand ur point of view in treating husbands. i for one will start an anti-tomb raiders site to protest the abuse of men.

From experience recipies dont always work unless you have an idea of what taste/texture/colour etc the finished meal should look/taste like. As a Yoruba girl I can only speak for Yoruba dishes and I give a few examples. Amala changes colour & becomes fluffy when cooked and only an experienced cook will know the exact point to take it off the cooker. If you overcook vegetables they become too soft and change colour. With jollof rice only an experienced cook knows how to get the "slightly burnt" taste which gives it the "owambe" party taste etc etc. No recipe can describe that.

My next door neighbours are Indian and every so often a waft of lovely curry comes by so I thought I will try and get a recipe to cook something similar. My Indian colleague at work gave me a recipe but warned me that I wont get it quite right as I really need to watch someone cook it.

Leila, I suggest the following; Ask your brother-in-law to show you how to cook the food. As you have already made a start on trying to cook these dishes yourself, all you probably need is a little bit of fine tuning so it shouldn't take long to master these dishes.
You could also ask your husband to show you how to cook them. He will probably say he hasn't time but look at it as spending a bit of quality time together and the kids can join in too. (I am assuming you have kids)

On a relationship level, you probably dont want to hear this, but your husband knew you were not a seasoned Igbo cook but choose to marry you and therefore he has to accept that some "back home" foods will not be readily available for him. Having said that you admit that he doesn't complain but just doesn't eat very much. He is probably being diplomatic and doesn't want to hurt your feelings and I think there is room for improvement on your part, especially as he eats well at his brothers house.

Re not letting women in your house, If a man is destined to wander, he will wander whether or not you build a fortress round him. Women are welcome into my house anytime, even when I am not there, its all about trust & integrity.

Clearly you are the one worrying trying to think of a way to get him to eat your food so if you do know any Igbo girl I suggest you ask her to show you how to cook. If the food thing happens to be extremely important to your husband, then you stand the risk of losing him anyway; although it doesn't sound as if its imperative that he must eat Igbo food every day otherwise he wouldn't have married you in the first instance.

I will probably be told off by the feminists on this forum but I always feel a sense of achievement & satisfaction when I place a good meal down in front of your husband & children. According to our mothers, the way to a mans heart is through his stomach.

Another idea that has just come to mind and which many of my friends do and I occasionally use is to get a proper caterer to cook a big pot of vegetable soup for you and you just portion it up into bowls/small cellophane bags and place in the deep freezer and thaw and use with your own stew as required. Obviously dont make a big thing about it to your husband because some men are very good at saying " I dont eat outside"
I am not teaching you to lie or deceive your husband O!

Leila I wish you all the best and well done. Marriage is a lifelong decision and I like the way you are looking for ways to ensure your family is happy and remains intact. I appreciate that we have it easier than you do. In our case if our children whinge about being fed up of eating Nigerian food we can sling some chips and sausages in the oven, whereas there isn't yet a supermarket that sell frozen Nsala soup just yet

chaircover:

I will probably be told off by the feminists on this forum but I always feel a sense of achievement & satisfaction when I place a good meal down in front of your husband & children. According to our mothers, the way to a mans heart is through his stomach.

The feminist in me is screaming abuse right now but I have to agree with you. It does feel good.

You can use toto water to cook for him and see how it goes.
^{Now don't ask me what is toto water}

nobilia:

You can use toto water to cook for him and see how it goes.
^{Now don't ask me what is toto water}

Chei

[color=#006600][/color]
I dont think i will allow my woman to cook recipes downloaded from the internet, its quite insulting.Why not get in touch with he said brother and ask him for help so that you wont be disgraced at the end of it all.

Leila as a fellow nairalander i'll give cooking hints on Nsala. Ingredients:
Fresh fish(cat fish)
Dry fish(magala preferable)
Achi
Crayfish
Fresh pepper
Uziza
Maggi
Salt and Red oil
Method
1st u wash d cat fish very well and cut dem 2 size.Then pour water into a pot and allow it 2 boil like 2mins.Add the cut fish into d boiling water,put a little salt,cover d pot and allow it 2 boil 4 2mins.After 2mins bring d fish out, put dem in a plate and cover.D water inside d pot will still b boiling,u grind ur crayfish and pepper,and add them 2 d boiling water.Grind ur uziza and add it into d pot aswell.Mk sure u dnt add 2 much uziza cos is pepperish as well except ur husby likes pepper. Also u add achi,cos d achi thickens d water,cover d pot and allow it 2 boil.While is boiling, u wash ur Magala very well and shred it with ur hands and add into d pot.Add 2 cubes of maggi, a little salt and little red oil.Red oil is exceptional if u want u use it.As 4 me i like adding a tiny bit of red oil 2 my own.Stir d ingridents as they boil and cover 4 1min.Finally u add ur cat fish into d pot and let it boil 4 a few secs. Den u serve wit pounded yam.Ope u ll try it out.And tell me hw it went.

You can prepare Ogbono soup for him with eba  
lkg/ 21b assorted meats (oxtail, tripe, ponmo & bushmeat)

450g/llb stock fish(pre-soaked)
450g / llb dried fish (washed)
225g / 8oz whole dry prawns (cleaned)
225g / 8oz ground ogbono seeds
225g/8oz ground crayfish
25g / 8oz ground pepper
25g / loz iru
I medium onion
290ml /10 fl oz palmoil
3pt stock or water
salt to taste
Washed the assorted meats thoroughly and place in a pot. Add the sliced onions, ground pepper and some stock or water. Cook for 30 minutes. Add the washed smoked fish and stockfish, cook for a further 10-15 minutes adding a drop of water or stock as needed to stop it from burning.
In another pot, heat the oil and fry the ground seeds for 3 minutes to bring out the nutty flavour.
Gradually add the stock and whisk until it draws and bubbles. Add the cooked meats peppers and crayfish.
Dissolve the locust bean in a little stock and add to the soup. Allow to simmer for another 10 minutes, check seasoning and serve hot with pounded yam.

VARIATIONS
OGBONO SOUP WITH BITTER LEAF
225g / 8oz washed bitter leaf added to main recipe
OGBONO SOUP WITH UGWU
500g / llb shredded ugwu leaves added to main recipe.


you can also add mushroom and Okro to this soup to give it a diffrerent flavour

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ogbono.jpg (106.98 KB, 737x490 )

@ poster,

Take up a voluntary part time employment with an African caterer/restaurant, that will place you in a proper african womans kitchen where you can learn the way things are done properly.

I am sure after about 3 months you would have improved and be able to dazzle ur husband

sbucareer:


Ogejoy and chisimdi thank you very much for that information. More of that

loi

sbucareer:


chisimdi could you be kind enough post how to cook Ugha soup or Egusi, thanks?

Ok my dear will do dat 4 u

Dis Leilah sef !! Dis your Igbo husband sef !!

thats brilliant thanks a lot folks. Im not looking for attention as some think. I do think it is important to be able to cook soemething properly especially given the price you pay for these ingredients in europe. Thanks for your ideas. I will try the nsala, thats the way I actually made it before and it was too thin so i added some yam flour into it to thicken it. I will try that again.

Oha soup:

Ingredients:
Oha leaves
Shin beef )
Shaki
Stock fish
Dry fish (Magala)
Ogiri(optional )
Red oil
Achi
Maggi and salt
Crayfish,Fresh pepper and onions
Method
Start by cutting d beef and shaki ,den u wash dem thoroughly.Put d beef and shaki into d pot,add ur desired amont of maggi and salt,pour water and put it on fire 2 boil.Den u also put ur stock fish into anoda pot,add water and a bit of salt and allow it 2 boil until is soft but not so soft.Wash ur magala very well and shred dem wit ur hands and keep it in a plate.Den cut ur oha leaves,u wash and keep dem in a plate.Wen d meat has boiled,u bring it out and keep it in a bowl.While d water is still on fire,U add Red oil, ur blended pepper,crayfishand onions into it and stir.U also add Achi cos it thickens d water.I f u want u add ogiri aswell.But most pple don't like it cos of d smell,but 4 me i always add it cos it has an aroma 2 d soup.U add maggi and salt and allow it 2 boil.While is boiling u shred ur cooked stockfish wit ur hands and put into a bowl.Den u add ur stockish, magala and ur boiled meat into d pot,stir and allow it 2 boil.Finally u add ur Oha leaves and ur soup is ready.Enjoy wit beta Akpu or Pounded yam or Garri.

chisimdi
Please nwanne nwanyi, e' no for bad if u can arrange that soup and give it to DHL for yur bros.
God Bless you d more as you start preparing the soup now.

See as the lick ma lips already.

chisimdi:

Method
Start by cutting d beef and shaki ,den u wash them thoroughly.Put d beef and shaki into d pot,add your desired amont of maggi and salt,pour water and put it on fire 2 boil.Den u also put your stock fish into another pot,add water and a bit of salt and allow it 2 boil until is soft but not so soft.Wash your magala very well and shred them wit your hands and keep it in a plate.Den cut your oha leaves,u wash and keep them in a plate.Wen d meat has boiled,u bring it out and keep it in a bowl.While d water is still on fire,You add Red oil, your blended pepper,crayfishand onions into it and stir.You also add Achi because it thickens d water.I f u want u add ogiri aswell.But most people don't like it because of d smell,but 4 me i always add it because it has an aroma to the soup.You add maggi and salt and allow it 2 boil.While is boiling u shred your cooked stockfish wit your hands and put into a bowl.Den u add your stockish, magala and your boiled meat into d pot,stir and allow it 2 boil.Finally u add your Oha leaves and your soup is ready.Enjoy wit beta Akpu or Pounded yam or Garri.

I don remember the music wey dem dey sing like this

Mangala mangala ojerima
mangala mangala ojirima
mangala ruo ulo elu ooh
Churos(Ojerima)
etc

presido1:

chisimdi
Please nwanne nwanyi, e' no for bad if u can arrange that soup and give it to DHL for yur bros.
God Bless you d more as you start preparing the soup now.

See as the lick ma lips already.

Presido 1 Nwanna i go do am 4 u. lol

Thanks my sista pls put enuff mangala, e don tee small when i neffa eat am.
Do send me the tracking numba.
Chineke gozie gi.