Contribute and share your clean religious jokes.

One police man has been at a check point all week and he made no money,
Getting home one night, he realizes that his family are suffering, so he decided to go out and look for money at all cost.
He stop one man late at night riding o his Okada:
Where are you coming from at this time of the night, sorry, I stayed late at the church, the man answered
So you are alone? the Police officer asked the man.
The man answered, no sir, i am never alone, have with me God, the father, Jesus, the son and the Holy spirit.
The Police officer said, I MUST CHARGE YOU AND ARREST YOU THEM.
The man asked, for what sir?
For overloading said the Police officer, how could you have 4 people on an okada machine.

One day God heard some noise coming from Hell
he shouted, satan, what was all that noise about.
Satan replied, we just having some good time here and partying.
God replied, how cld you have fun that hot heat of the flame.
Satan replied, says who God? we have just connected some Air conditions.
God says, how?
God we now have some engineers with us, replied satan.
Oh yeah, replied God, i will sue you for breach of contract.
Where will u get the lawyers!! asked the devil?
They are all in Hell with me.

Three Christians (one a catholic, one an evangelical and one a protestant) died at the same time and went to heaven. There in the Church of heaven, the archangel in charge of service demanded which department or service unit they will like to service. The Catholic (because of his passon for sacrament) make the choice of serving as a communion steward, the evangelical (being passionate about lost souls) demanded for prayer unit, but to the amazement of everyone, the protestant demanded "Is there offering counting unit here? This time around, someone must ensure nobody is stealing like Judas!"

Peace!

While still alive, a woman promised her loving rich husband her total love both then and there after. And in order to show that the man meant everything to her, she made a promised to ensure that the bank balance in their joint account is buried with him after his passing on. Accoding to her, afterall, what meaning has life in the absence of such irreplaceable loving husband?
Eventually, the man died and during the interment, a friend to the widow raised a curious question; "what is that little piece I saw on him in the casket?"
The widow replied, "It was the cheque with the total balance in the account. I made the promise to my love and I must fulfil it with the whole of my heart" 

In the Garden of Eden, one day while Adam was sleeping, Even started counting his ribs.
Adam woke up and ask Eve, what do you think you doing?
Eve replied, counting ur ribs ofcourse.
Adam asked, but why?
Eve replied, to make sure there hasnt been another woman out there for you.
Adam replied, you are enuf for me, else, 2 women will be counting my ribs while i am asleep.
Jealousy has been since the beginning.

In Mark 2: 1-12, this looks like the conclution of the incidence;
After the crusade, the landlord to the property used held on to the paralytic man as he was about walking out saying;
"O Bros!, you go repair diis roof o! or Papa Jesus will have to perform another miracle of raising someone from death"

Who can tell me the blood type of Jesus?

@Rhino
do the blood test and let's know!

Eve : Adam , do you love me

Adam : Who else

apocalypse:


Eve : Adam , do you love me

Adam : Who else

Why did Eve ask that question did she think Adam was cheating on her

lol

KunleOshob:

Why did Eve ask that question did she think Adam was cheating on her

I guesss!!!

detruth:

@Rhino
do the blood test and let's know!

Blood type of Jesus is "O"

$$Rhino:

Blood type of Jesus is "O"

Evidence pls!!

naomijt:

Evidence please!!

Are u a christain at all?

$$Rhino:

Are u a christain at all?

The more reason i'm asking for evidence!!!

Its jokes pls lets not take things so seriously.

I believe the reasoning behind the "O" blood type is that anyone can make use of it. Its universal. yea ?

madamkoko:

Its jokes please lets not take things so seriously.

Of course, no one is seriouse here.

have u ever sang this song?

"O" that blood of jesus 3ce
It cleanse whiter than snow?

that is how i got to know

$$Rhino:

have u ever sang this song?

"O" that blood of jesus 3ce
It cleanse whiter than snow?

that is how i got to know

ROFL. Ohhh my God!! That one caught me baddd. Ok, I give it to you.

More jokes pls

isn't it "Oh" and not "O"

It could "ho" if you want, that was why it was in quotes

madamkoko:

isn't it "Oh" and not "O"

If you bring this in, then Rhino won't have a good defence.

The Bible says that after Jesus fed the multitude with  5 loaves and 2 fishes there were 12 baskets left over.
Who can tell me what happened to the 12 baskets?

_{clue, he had 12 disciples}

naomijt:

If you bring this in, then Rhino won't have a good defence.

my defence is better than Missile defence.

Queenisha:

The Bible says that after Jesus fed the multitude with 5 loaves and 2 fishes there were 12 baskets left over.
Who can tell me what happened to the 12 baskets?

_{clue, he had 12 disciples}

Queenshiba took them home to her 12 kids?

a priest is asked, what is a nursery:

priest: a place where kids play.

then his asked what is adultery??

priest: a place where adults play.

a father tells his child . .

father: junior please go outside and bring me the broom in the garage.

junior: dad i cant, you know i'm afraid of the dark.

father: junior do not be afraid, jesus is out there with you, okay.

junior: okay dad,

junior goes out to the door and says jesus, excuse me jesus, my dad told me your out here, please could you pass me the broom in the garage.