guys, i'v been very unhappy, i heard my boyfriend is dating my very good friend,
the source is reliable, i tried askn him but he denied it, he even took the matter personnal, i also asked my friend but she denied it too, i have tried so many ways in other to find out myslf, like giving my bf suprise visits, checking his phone and all of that, but to no avail,

i wld have 4gotten abt this issue, but the prob is my boyfriend has actually changed 2wrds me, he doesnt even find me attractive anymore, i alwys have 2 make the 1st move before he touches me, smtyms he jst wld find a way to avoid it, i sometimes tell my girlfrnd abt his attitude but she doesnt alwys have anyting 2 say,

am so scared, i am 25, this relationship is 2yrs old, n he is sm1 i wld love 2 spend the rest of my life with, where will i start from if sm1 snatches him away, i have tried all i can, but he keeps making me sad everyday, i dnt trust my girlfriend either, she is the type that could do such, she is 27 and still single, so she'l do anytn 2 keep anyman 2 herslf,

i dnt kw wht to do yet cos i am not sure abt wht i heard, the issue is eatin me up, i dnt have friends so thrs actually no1 2 tlk 2 aside u guys, am really confused

very pathetic story.
what i want you to understand is never bother yourself about a relationship that weighs you down. i remember meeting a lady who told me she's been dating a guy barely 3 weeks and she has cried 3 times because of him. am not saying we shouldnt be tolerant but there is  a limit to it.

The fact that his attitude has changed towards you signals danger, but don't feel troubled i will say.

what you should do now is give him some space, don't visit, Yes, don't VISIT, don't call, wait and see if he calls ,if he doesnt, he is good to go.

get yourself occupied with other activities, if he cares so much about you then he will come looking for you.

i am saying this based on your judgement:"THE SOURCE IS RELIABLE". I hope it is.

your girl friend? may be you should avoid her if you can't relate with her as usual, but one thing is sure, she will get dumped too.

thanks, but stayn away 4m him is really going 2 be very difficult, i tink that means giving him reasons 2 jst dump me, after 2 yrs, its really not funny. u dnt have an idea how much i love this guy, and the funny thing is some1 once told me 2 keep calling and visiting him, guess pple have got diff opinions,

thankx all the same, i'l try that 2. i jst ope it works.

Baby listen to me. You can not keep someone who does not want to be kept.

TD Jakes said it all in his let it go sermen. I will paste below for you:

Let it go , by T. D. Jakes


There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this!
When people can walk away from you: let them walk.


I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you,
loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you,
staying attached to you.
I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk.
Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

People leave you because they are not joined to you.
And if they are not joined to you,
you can't make them stay.
Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person,
it just means that their part in the story is over.
And you've got to know when people's
part in your story is over so that you
don't keep trying to raise the dead.

You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over.
Let me tell you something.
I've got the gift of good-bye.
It's the tenth spiritual gift,
I believe in go d-bye.

It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful,
and I know whatever God means for me to have
He'll give it to me.
And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it.
Stop begging people to stay.
Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something
that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life,
then you need to , LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ,
LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth,
LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you ,
LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge ,
LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction ,
LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or
talents ,
LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude,
LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better,
LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new
level in Him,
LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship,
LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help
themselves,
LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed ,
LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling
yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to,
LET IT GO!!!

Let the past be the past.
Forget the former things.
GOD is doing a new thing for 2008!!!
LET IT GO!!!

Get Right or Get Left , think about it, and then
LET IT GO!!!




Please baby it will be hard but you have to let it be what it will be. I feel your pain, I have been in your shoes. If God wants this to be then it will be, but if not then it wont. Please learn to LET IT GO!!!!!

@ poster

As difficult as it may seem, I think that’s the best option. Stay away from him. If he has decided to leave you, then the earlier you know the better for you. No need wasting more time around him. Sometimes when a relationship is over, it’s just over. There’s nothing we can do to salvage it. Trust me, I know how hard it can be to let go, but at this point girl, you have no choice. If you don’t leave, sooner or later, he’ll leave you.

If he’s only passing through a phase than you giving him his space is the best thing you can do for him now. I always say when you love a bird you let it fly, if its yours, it’ll definitely come back to you. But if its not, then I’d say s**t happens. And when you really come to think of it, you’ll see the guy doesn’t deserve you one bit.

But guys sha . . .  how can a guy be sleeping with his girlfriend’s friend. That’s the height of betrayal if you ask me.  

Thats why I say guys are a**holes  

when did sistawoman become a pastor, abi na pastress

gabe_logan:

when did sistawoman become a pastor, abi na pastress

I go to church. And it's not my sermen it is T.D. Jakes sermen.

I am saved you know.

I love your post Sistawoman, but I think what makes letting go more difficult is not knowing if you are making a mistake. Why can’t the guy just be a man about it? Why play games with the poor girl who he obviously knows loves him a lot. Right now she dosent even know if he's walking out or not. Its much more difficult to act based on his attitude.

It’s simple really ‘. . . baby I’m sorry, but I think I can’t go on with this relationship. I know I’ll hurt you and trust me I don’t want to let go; but I think I’m in love with someone else. You are the sweetest girl I’ve ever met but I guess the heart wants what it wants. Please don’t hate me because I’ll always love you, but I have to be with someone else . .’ she might hate you for sometime, but trust me, you’ve earned her respect.

I just hate it when guys are such jerks and think they can play games with people’s feelings!!!

because some guys are what we call cake-eaters.

They want thier cake and eat it too.

they want to play around and have thier women at home waiting for them and being there for them.

They feel like if they tell her what they want her to do she wont do it or wont look at them the same. They have not grown up and are stuck in a teenagers mind set.

Or they just arnt the person for you, the person that God has choosen for you.

People are here for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

Learn the lessons from the relationship and move on.

What if you married this man and he bleeped your girlfriend after marriage, how much harder would be for you to walk away. What if you had 2-3 babies with him. God reviels all things in his due time. Trust me dear. grow closer to God and he will reveal to you your husband, there is nothing we can do to change what God has in store for us. We can delay it, derail it but we cant change what will be and what he has in store for us.

Girl, if i were your bf, it would be as good as over by now. You dont even trust your man, how do u expect him to feel? The source was reliable but now you've lost him!
As a guy, i'll tell u, when gf starts suspecting me wrongly, no matter how good the source is, my thoughts will zero in on the fact that she doesnt trust me and would prefer to accept what she heard outside rather than believe what i say.
That is like the beginning of the end.

Right now it is difficult to say where u stand, if the damage is done, expect to lose him, and expect it soon. . . On the other hand, if the damage is not much start changing your words, tailor them to remove the doubts about your-lack-of-trust from his mind.

Ujujoan:

@ poster

As difficult as it may seem, I think that’s the best option. Stay away from him. If he has decided to leave you, then the earlier you know the better for you. No need wasting more time around him. Sometimes when a relationship is over, it’s just over. There’s nothing we can do to salvage it. Trust me, I know how hard it can be to let go, but at this point girl, you have no choice. If you don’t leave, sooner or later, he’ll leave you.

If he’s only passing through a phase than you giving him his space is the best thing you can do for him now. I always say when you love a bird you let it fly, if its yours, it’ll definitely come back to you. But if its not, then I’d say s**t happens. And when you really come to think of it, you’ll see the guy doesn’t deserve you one bit.




But guys sha . . .  how can a guy be sleeping with his girlfriend’s friend. That’s the height of betrayal if you ask me.  

Thats why I say guys are a**holes  

so what about the girl sleeping with her bestfriends man, so she is exempt from all this, is she?

well poster, ill recommend you still take Ujujoan's advice, just ignore the "Thats why I say guys are a**holes" part,

sesman:

so what about the girl sleeping with her bestfriends man, so she is exempt from all this, is she?

well poster, ill recommend you still take Ujujoan's advice, just ignore the "Thats why I say guys are a**holes" part,

It has not been confirmed that they're sleeping yet oh. This is all make belief until adequate proof comes up.

whitelexi:

Girl, if i were your boyfriend, it would be as good as over by now. You don't even trust your man, how do u expect him to feel? The source was reliable but now you've lost him!
As a guy, i'll tell u, when girlfriend starts suspecting me wrongly, no matter how good the source is, my thoughts will zero in on the fact that she doesnt trust me and would prefer to accept what she heard outside rather than believe what i say.
That is like the beginning of the end.

Right now it is difficult to say where u stand, if the damage is done, expect to lose him, and expect it soon. . . On the other hand, if the damage is not much start changing your words, tailor them to remove the doubts about your-lack-of-trust from his mind.

So the fact that she suspected him justifies him acting like a jerk

Whats wrong with asking a guy question to clarify issues Its either you are cheating or you are not. Infact if you ask me, I'll say they only get upset about it when thay are at fault. Cos the guilty are always afraid.

She's not just acting based on what she heard outside, she said the guy's attitude towards her has changed. That substantiated the rumor and if you ask me, there's no smoke without fire.

Its difficult for her to remove the doubts from her mind when the guys is not acting right.

Why am I even wasting my time, I wouldnt put it past you to come up with something . . anything to justify you guys' irresponsibility.

@ poster

The issue sounds bad but you know what, like one other guy said on here you showed him that you didn't trust him which may have really hurt his feelings(yes men have feellings) what i would suggest you do is carry on like normal and make sure what ever you do if you guys are sexually active you use protection. As for your friend, if it does come out that she is messing with your man, just let her be because what goes around comes around.

Love is hard but only time can heal a broken heart.

I BEG BONE DEM

LEAVE THEM ALONE

GOD GO PROVIDE YOUR OWN HUSBAND

DAT UR HUSBAND NO GO COME LIKE NA REAL! REAL! HUSBAND

AS FOR DAT YOUR FRIEND SHE BE FOOL AND MAYBE NA SHE SEDUCED UR BOYFRIEND ooo i no no make i no judge

JUST LEAVE DEM AND GO UR WAY

SURELY GOOD THINGS IS COMING UR WAY, THEIR IS PURPOSE FOR DAT TO HAPPEN JUST MOVE ON

Why does love hurt so much?

karl ken:

Why does love hurt so much?

Cuz when it is right, if feels soooooooooo Good!!!!!

You have to have the hurt to understand/appreciate the Good!!!!!!

sistawoman, i feel dey feel ur posts. kip am up

inquisitiv:

sistawoman, i feel dey feel ur posts. kip am up

thanks babe

thats why i dont have female friends, cuz having to give everything up just for another woman sucks, if i was in that situation, i would kick my friends ass n walk away. no need fighting over a man who doesnt want you.

Ujujoan:

So the fact that she suspected him justifies him acting like a jerk

Whats wrong with asking a guy question to clarify issues Its either you are cheating or you are not. Infact if you ask me, I'll say they only get upset about it when thay are at fault. because the guilty are always afraid.

She's not just acting based on what she heard outside, she said the guy's attitude towards her has changed. That substantiated the rumor and if you ask me, there's no smoke without fire.

Its difficult for her to remove the doubts from her mind when the guys is not acting right.

Why am I even wasting my time, I wouldnt put it past you to come up with something . . anything to justify you guys' irresponsibility.

Wake up love, men have got a heart too, turn the tables round and she'll feel the same way he currently feels. girls like u just run your mouths without using any brains. . . Certain circumstances call for a stop and think situations, you don't just listen to anything u hear outside, thats why its called a relationship! Its got to be between the two of u and u don't let outsiders influence your thoughts. Its a wonder how people like u even talk of relationships, let alone give advice about it.

Talking of people who r afraid, well, i'm not the one afraid of sleeping at nights in the dark.

whitelexi:

Wake up love, men have got a heart too, turn the tables round and she'll feel the same way he currently feels. girls like u just run your mouths without using any brains. . . Certain circumstances call for a stop and think situations, you don't just listen to anything u hear outside, thats why its called a relationship! Its got to be between the two of u and u don't let outsiders influence your thoughts. Its a wonder how people like u even talk of relationships, let along give advice about it.

In this case even without the outside influence, this guy might be actually cheating, read what the poster said

ima1:

In this case even without the outside influence, this guy might be actually cheating, read what the poster said

That is the poster's side of the story, if u call her bf, he'll most definitely give a totally different story. I like to put myself in the shoes of the accused. The poster's story is not definite because she doesnt say for sure that he is doing anything. People are not guilty until substantially found guilty. For this reason, i think we have to implore a level of scepticism in this issue at this stage.

how about putting urself in the woman's position, like you said if the tables were turned around, what the hell would you think.

ima1:

how about putting yourself in the woman's position, like you said if the tables were turned around, what the hell would you think.

I would not think, i'd investigate properly and reach a a verdict before coming out with accusations that hold little water.

whitelexi:

I would not think, i'D investigate properly and reach a a verdict before coming out with accusations that hold little water.

well i say ur conclusions n mine r prolly biased if we cant consider both points of views.

You can't force someone to love you.

If he is constantly waiting for you to make the first move then better stop doing so. Is this how you wanna continue whe and if you guys get married. You sef make small yanga. . . unless you are so desperate.

no matter what . . .you deserve more than that. Since you are not sure about the accusations and your boyfriend has changed towards you, I will advise you give both of them space for a while and see what happens. No relationship is really worth sleepness nights and stressing over.

@ whitelexi
am really surprised at you man, how could u reason like this? you certainly must be the kind of guy that could do such a thing.
first, i heard smtn abt my bf and stupid girl frnd, what was i supposed 2 do? jst sit n watch then die in silence? i did d right thing by askn and they both denied it, is that a reason 4 the attitude? this stuff happened like a month ago and i thought every1 of us shld have 4gotten the issue but NO, the girl changed, my bf changed, non of them wants 2 tlk 2me again, wht other evidence do i need?

well thank you 4 ur contribution, its bad enough that am abt 2 get dumped 4 my galfriend,
dnt complicate issues.

tutcy4u:

@ whitelexi
am really surprised at you man, how could u reason like this? you certainly must be the kind of guy that could do such a thing.
first, i heard smtn about my boyfriend and stupid girl frnd, what was i supposed 2 do? jst sit n watch then die in silence? i did d right thing by askn and they both denied it, is that a reason for the attitude? this stuff happened like a month ago and i thought everyone of us shld have 4gotten the issue but NO, the girl changed, my boyfriend changed, non of them wants 2 tlk 2me again, wht other evidence do i need?

well thank you 4 ur contribution, its bad enough that am about 2 get dumped 4 my galfriend,
dnt complicate issues.

Don’t mind Whitelexi, what you did was right and if he were in your shoes, I bet he would have done the same thing. If you hear something, there’s no harm in asking to clarify issues. The change of attitude is uncalled for and as far as I’m concerned, it just goes to show he’s guilty. Or maybe he’s just being wicked which is even worse. You are better off without such a person.

whitelexi:

Wake up love, men have got a heart too, turn the tables round and she'll feel the same way he currently feels. girls like u just run your mouths without using any brains. . . Certain circumstances call for a stop and think situations, you don't just listen to anything u hear outside, thats why its called a relationship! Its got to be between the two of u and u don't let outsiders influence your thoughts. Its a wonder how people like u even talk of relationships, let alone give advice about it.

Talking of people who r afraid, well, i'm not the one afraid of sleeping at nights in the dark.

I thought very well before talking. If you love a girl and really care about her, your priority should be to stop whatever is making people think you are dating her friend. Try to calm her fears and reassure her you are still hers. No need to be on the offensive and turn the tables on the poor girl. Sometimes being a man requires a little more maturity taking charge. It’s not just about that ‘third leg’.

If the tables were turned and I was the person being accused? I might get offended a little bit for not being trusted, then I’ll calm down and hear the reason for the accusation in the first place. Then I’ll clear the air and try to prevent it from happening again. Of course that if I’m innocent. If I’m guilty, then trust me, I’ll do exactly what the guy is doing now.

How do you intend to investigate?? By sneaking around and setting traps for the guy?? That’s insane if you ask me. You’ll only give yourself more headaches. The best thing is to ask and let him deny or accept. If he denies then you’ve got him where it counts. He can’t hide forever and when it becomes open, you’ll know you’ve been dating a jerk, a liar and a cheat. If he accepts, then doesn’t it save you the stress of ‘investigating’?

And if you think we are still in the stage of 'not letting outsiders influence your thoughts', then you've got to be kidding me. The wife of a cheating man is always the last to know and it because of what the likes of you call trust. There's a fine line between trust and blind trust. Trust all you want, but not blindly.

I may not have been in a lot of relationships but I know how to handle myself in one 

Stop trying to make excuses for the guy; you sound sooo lame!!!

hey dear your story is truly pathetic, but I will suggest, u do not act on gossips and rumours it may just be a way of breaking u guys up - and making the gossips happier. I suggest u keep ur end alive till he calls it off, call him when it suits u, just use him to satisfy ur immediate passion, assume you never heard anything, dont get moody about anything, dont expect anything from him,and keep open for another admirer. Love with your head, keep ur mind to yourself and commit your heart to your God - never mix these up.

@ ujujoan

thx gal, i really appreciate ur contribution,
still thinkn abt this break thing, yesterday, i tried not 2 call him, he dint call either, i cldnt sleep, i had 2 jst call, n even after that, i still dint sleep well, i dnt kw wht i have done 2 deserve all this,
well, i guess i have 2 learn 2 live with the fact that we were not meant 2 b 2gda afterall,
i jst ope i dnt drop dead if they eva tink of gettn married.  i love him, i trusted her, the two pple that i really care 4 has turned their back at me, its a crazy world.

izi-n-bizi:

hey dear your story is truly pathetic, but I will suggest, u do not act on gossips and rumours it may just be a way of breaking u guys up - and making the gossips happier. I suggest u keep ur end alive till he calls it off, call him when it suits u, just use him to satisfy ur immediate passion, assume you never heard anything, don't get moody about anything, don't expect anything from him,and keep open for another admirer. Love with your head, keep ur mind to yourself and commit your heart to your God - never mix these up.

now am even more confused, u really tink i shld stay till he calls it off?