My Lover Is Illiterate! What Next? - Romance (2) - Nairaland
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Ladies: Can You Date/Marry A Wealthy Man Who is Illiterate? / How To Celebrate Val When Your Lover Is Not Around / Can You Marry An Illiterate? (2) (3) (4)
| Re: My Lover Is Illiterate! What Next? by lordjonie(m): 4:46am On May 19, 2009 |
get her a tutor lyk mi. i wont charge as much coz of oda benefits lyk, |
| Re: My Lover Is Illiterate! What Next? by waterworks(f): 3:27pm On May 19, 2009 |
Say what? You are automatically dismissing everyone's view and use yours to truncate others? Not exactly a nice way of starting an advice/debate. point taken. but it does not mean im not making sense. if it diddnt matter he wouldn't be here. the poster knows it does matter to an extent. note the topics states: 'my lover is illiterate what next?' not 'my lover is illiterate does it really matter?' Please. It is a well known fact that people who cannot read or write have excellent memory. So she will probably not need a shopping list like you are pointing out. that is just one. phone nko? and other basic things, reading signs, etc as shes coming to the UK it is not like naija were most things are based on asking the nearest person independence plays an important role in the UK. just the simple underground evn those that can read get confused those that cant read at all? ok 4get that. bills, phone, electricity, notices? pls get real she will need to lean on someone a lot! i never said it will be impossible but it will be harder. Not going to school is not an indication that people will not do well in life. whoever said it was  if you are refferring to the secretarial or office skills i meant her supporting the poster financially without education the possibilities of getting a wide range of jobs are limited is puttign it mildly.Except she starts some sort of business or she is a housewife. like i said limited.What are these things she should make up for? What do you mean "on the same level". Here, I personally wont date someone like you because of your logic. Can you not see the flawed logic? First of all let me highlight the most interesting bit here: whoever said anything about dating you? i dont remember commenting on the dating & meet up zone. shakes head 'men'. By on the same level i meant academically. in other words to everyone saying 'so what? take her to school now' you dont just learn all that in a day! Reading and writing is not all that is learnt in school it concerns, our logic, mentality and reasoning. she is street smrt yes. but people at school are book smart. there are many things the street smart person knows that the book smart person doesnt and vice versa. when she learns to read and write is that really all? i also stated that if she had always worked in that saloon she might have some sort of backward mentality. it is not about if she is backward or not but if she can relate with the poster these levels and more. A man from the Maisai tribe in Kenya, she might need to broaden her horizons. I SAID MIGHT! yes she could have done all that. you should at least have the basic knowledge to at least help your children with home work, encourage them to read, correct their spellings etc. Yes there is always the option of the lesson teacher but it creates some sort of bond. (as i child i always looked forward to when my mum guided me with me assignments, daily class summary's and when i showed her what i had done in school that day it helped that she understood!). Again she does not need education to do any of these. Elrazur do you now see the flawed logic? lol! if she doesnt need education for all that what can i say? it is not a big deal considering that the guy actually loves the girl.No one questioned his love for the gurl he came here already telling us abt it. It is a big deal when you look at the bigger picture. my point has always been that no education today is a big deal reagardless of how you want to argue elrazur. the poster knows that. is it a big deal in love? no. Do you oppose "educated" people from dating/marrying "uneducated" people?Elrazur please! your accusations are Preposterous! im not opposing the poster's choice because she is illiterate i am merely stating that it is going to take some patience and dedictation. |
| Re: My Lover Is Illiterate! What Next? by waladis(m): 7:28pm On May 19, 2009 |
Just read this 2 comments at work, I'll be back with the answers when i get home  (1) racheal84: (2) Busy_body: |
| Re: My Lover Is Illiterate! What Next? by ElRazur: 8:58pm On May 19, 2009 |
waterworks: Your post makes sense. But it is flawed is what am trying to say. that is just one. phone nko? and other basic things, reading signs, etc as shes coming to the UK it is not like naija were most things are based on asking the nearest person independence plays an important role in the UK. just the simple underground evn those that can read get confused those that cant read at all? ok 4get that. bills, phone, electricity, notices? pls get real she will need to lean on someone a lot! i never said it will be impossible but it will be harder. You do not need education to do all of those. Again go back to my point of how good their memory are. As for the example you have given, you see their brain are capable of "learning" and as such they identify certain colours, shapes etc with certain places. I disagree it may be hard for her, instead I see it as another "challenge" she needs to over come. And just because you have a perception that it is "harder for her" do not mean she wont pull it off. Not going to school is not an indication that people will not do well in life. You didn't have to! Your point appeared to suggest that uneducated people will probably "suffer" in life as a result of their lack of education. Technically, in life, we all have limited jobs available to us! No matter how qualified or unqualified we are!! Even with a choice of job limited like you are trying to paint, it do not mean she cannot provide some sort of financial support in the relationship. She can open a shop and run - Hair shop, etc. You would be surprise how many people with little or no education in the UK have similar shops here and they seem to make money. Even ironically enough, people who do not speak a single word of english run businesses in the UK with varying amount of success. First of all let me highlight the most interesting bit here: whoever said anything about dating you? i dont remember commenting on the dating & meet up zone. shakes head 'men'. Who says you did? I merely pointed out a flawed logic on purpose. It was a satirical take on what I perceive as your flawed logic.
She already learn logic around her every day. She's already demostrated the mentality to succeed and quite frankly, I believe her reasoning are sound. You see, you do not need to go to school to learn all of these. I can give you various example as to how one can learn some of those qualities you mentioned in every day life and outside of academia. Why do people who work in a saloon have a "backward mentality"? Or should do question be why do you think so? The answer you provided, is not adding up am afraid. She appears to be business savvy, yet you think she may have a backward mentality, Please explain 'cuz I feel like that is a headfuck. 
You can bound with children in many ways. You appear to have over-looked that. Allow me to use myself as an example, I was good artistically when I was in school, yet my dad is rubbish at drawing, so he tend to leave me to get on with it, I suppose using your logic, he didnt bond with me? I am sure you can see where am going with that.Elrazur please! your accusations are Preposterous! Well your post would suggest so. Or perhaps am reading it all wrong? |
| Re: My Lover Is Illiterate! What Next? by sosisi(f): 11:58pm On May 19, 2009 |
The poster's fears are very valid. There were undergraduate girls during my days that married stinkingly rich OMATA traders that spoke "cut and join" English,I don't think I would have been able to do such then again it could be that I never met any that I was that attracted to. It is much easier for an illiterate girl to humble herself and get into school than an illiterate man to do so. I have a distant relative that was impregnated by one of the houseboys that lived in their yard when she was in elementary 6, her parents are illiterate,she had the baby and never went back to school rather she joined her mother trading in the market. Years went by. One of the times I went home, I learnt that she had started night school and she was already in her 20's,I was happy for her. She worked hard, took and passed G.C.E sat for the nursing exams and passed. Today she is a Nurse employed by a hospital in Imo state. There's also a guy who was my husband's childhood friend,unfortunately he grew up with his aunt who used him as a houseboy rather than send him to school. he is now a graduate here in the USA from much hardwork and dedication. Where there is a will there is a way. It's hard to find a spouse.There are many women but few wives, many men but few husbands. Don't let this girl slip through your fingers because of a simple thing that has a solution. Is she willing to go to school? If her answer is yes,I see why not. |
| Re: My Lover Is Illiterate! What Next? by oluwafemi113(m): 6:26am On May 20, 2009 |
next thread |
| Re: My Lover Is Illiterate! What Next? by rachybaby(f): 9:28am On May 20, 2009 |
if she cant read or write, ehn 'kini big deal'? after all, u don chop from her pot then u didn't realise she was an (illiterate) like u said, now u're asking what next? Ah! meeeeeeeeeen!  |
| Re: My Lover Is Illiterate! What Next? by waterworks(f): 12:53pm On May 20, 2009 |
Your post makes sense. But it is flawed is what am trying to say. I dismissed everyone’s comments point taken but I wasn’t referring to their entire posts I was talking about the bit where everyone’s saying it doesn’t matter. it does to an extent. So that’s that. You do not need education to do all of those. err yes you do! if you cannot read or write you cannot read your bills. However if you claim she will be able to read her bills by learning all the symbols… she can read! In other words she is not completely illiterate. Again go back to my point of how good their memory are. As for the example you have given, you see their brain are capable of "learning" and as such they identify certain colours, shapes etc with certain places.Everyone’s brain is capable of learning surely you don’t think I don’t know that? In order for her to learn what these symbols mean my dear Elrazur she will have to be taught! Let me divert from the topic for a minute. Education is not abt sitting in a classroom its abt learning period. She would have to have someone explain or let her know that particular symbol there means stop and the next time she sees it she will know its stop. What is that called? Education. So don’t sit there telling me without education she can use her memory! Are you telling me that her ‘good memory’ will magically tell her a stop sign means stop? She will have to know what it means first! If she can do that for a letter or a book, My brora she can read! I disagree it may be hard for her, instead I see it as another "challenge" she needs to over come. And just because you have a perception that it is "harder for her" do not mean she wont pull it off.What does that mean? Are you trying to say that A it will not be harder for her without education or B. It will not be harder for her to be educated. Here is were I stand. I think it will be difficult or let me say a ‘challenge’ without education because she is limited in many ways. Yes she can recognise symbols how about the ones she hasn’t seen before? She still has to ask. Limited independence. If I take your logic that all humans are limited then she will be more limited. Her variety of communication is limited too. Most can read, write and speak she can only speak. For example in an office were she wants to subtly pass on a message she can just simply scribble a note but only she cant she will have to whisper. (it’s a lousy example and its not that significant but I’m sure you get my point about limitations.) How about all the little things people take for granted like reading a novel etc? she will be limited from the everyday things to the more important ones. She can pull it off but still be limited. It will not be harder for her to be Educated. That depends on each persons ability. By it being difficult I mean for her and him in general as a whole. It will be overcome but it wont be a piece of cake for them like I said before! You didn't have to! Your point appeared to suggest that uneducated people will probably "suffer" in life as a result of their lack of education.Oh pls. now ure just jumping to conclusions. I don’t think so and my post does not suggest that either! Y r u so paranoid? Even with a choice of job limited like you are trying to say it doesnt mean she cannot provide some sort of financial support in the relationship.I dont think that! I stated that her choice of jobs are limited and its true no matter how u try to wriggle around it. Yes we are limited but she is even more limited! I never said or implied she wouldn’t be successful or be able to support him financially. I was simply stating the all the facts for the poster. she may or may not be successful These are possibilities aren’t they? but without education she Is even more limited. Fact. She can open a shop and run - Hair shop, etc. You would be surprised how many people with little or no education in the UK have similar shops here and they seem to make money. Even ironically enough, people who do not speak a single word of english run businesses in the UK with varying amount of success.Lol Elrazur why are you repeating me?! I already stated all that before. This just goes to show you are trying to portray me as one sided. STOP IT! Who says you did? I merely pointed out a flawed logic on purpose. It was a satirical take on what I perceive as your flawed logic. NO IT WASN’T! you were trying to be rude and you know it! She already learn logic around her every day. She's already demostrated the mentality to succeed and quite frankly, I believe her reasoning are sound. You see, you do not need to go to school to learn all of these. Yes but its not abt all that. it is about whether both of them can relate on these levels and more as I said different forms of educations different logic and mentality. Can they both relate on this level? if you read my posts properly you will understand that I don’t mean she has no logic or cant learn that around her. Elrazur open your eyes. Why do people who work in a saloon have a "backward mentality"? Or should do question be why do you think so? The answer you provided, is not adding up am afraid. She appears to be business savvy, yet you think she may have a backward mentality, Please explain 'cuz I feel like that is a headfuck.No 1 don’t swear at me. there’s no need for that. No 2 yes I might think that she may have a backward mentality but I did say it depended on the saloon environment didn’t i? she may have a nice saloon in a better place of town were the workers are more sophisticated or the exact opposite. (Not necessarily in that order). I may have spoke too soon. I did forget abt her home environment. That does play an important role in her ways of reasoning and logic. Like you said her everyday environment. You can bond with children in many ways. You appear to have over-looked that. Allow me to use myself as an example, I was good artistically when I was in school, yet my dad is rubbish at drawing, so he tend to leave me to get on with it, I suppose using your logic, he didnt bond with me? I am sure you can see where am going with that.Stop poking ElrAZUR. You decided to pick only that bit abi? My above quote was just an example of the little challenges she will also face without reading and writing. the bonding bit was just a plus. of course there are other ways parents bond with children. Stop being difficult! The initial argument was that without the reading and writing she can do everything in her own way without limitations abi? No she cant. She will be limited and that’s the fact. Well your post would suggest so. Or perhaps am reading it all wrong?My post does not suggest I’m against the posters choice or that without education she is useless as ure making it out to be. Just that without the education she will be limited and if he is willing to overlook that there will be ‘challenges’. Also, gaining the education will not just come in one day. Taps feet Ure making a mointain out of a mole hill elrazur. |
| Re: My Lover Is Illiterate! What Next? by wunmilyn(f): 1:59pm On May 20, 2009 |
 my boyfriend is illiterate pls help wat can i do  |
| Re: My Lover Is Illiterate! What Next? by mustyhope(m): 2:25pm On May 20, 2009 |
Ha-ha-ha, I think when you will able to marry and took her to school to the extent whereby She becomes a graduates at the end. You stand a good chance of telling people how not see the delay in their going to school or starting seeking for knowledge as a challenge. |
| Re: My Lover Is Illiterate! What Next? by NigaLurva: 3:14pm On May 20, 2009 |
Illiterate girls are better than educated chicks, they obey the husband better. |
| Re: My Lover Is Illiterate! What Next? by waladis(m): 2:12am On May 21, 2009 |
First of all, pardon me for writting text messages instead of a text message, because the aunt actually sent a text message. (NUMBER 2) Because i didn't reckon that this topic will go this far, i omitted some part of the story at the beginning which i thought was irrelevant. The girl got to my apartment around 8p.m. in the evening, she made me realized that her aunt knew about our first meeting which she consented to, but the subsequent ones was without her consent. She said that her aunt has made several attempts to reach her while she was on her way to my place but she refused to pick up the phone. But her aunt still kept calling her while she was with me. At around after eleven in the night, after several attempts by her aunt to reach the girl on the phone failed and before she received the text message from her aunt, my telephone rang, and when i picked it up, i was greeted by an angry voice of a woman which turned out to be her aunt, telling me that she knew who i am, where am living and that she read all the text messages that i,ve sent to her niece including the one with my home address, she also knew that her niece was with me at that moment and i should make sure that she return back home immediately. From the way the conversation was going the girl knew it was her aunt on the line and with the look on her face she seems to be in a state of schock trying to figure out how her aunt came about my phone number. I denied the fact of ever seeing her niece on that day which she didn't believe and i made it known to her that even if her niece had been with me, i wouldn't have had the courage to sent her home at that time of the night. And apart from that reason, i thought to myself that i still have a mission to accomplish (sorry ladies, i know that sound a bit unserious, but that's how most of the men think at the bebeginning) which turn out to be one of the best ever. In between the conversation she tried as much as possible to downgraded the girl with lots of abusive words like how cheap the girl was and bla, bla, bla, , i was already a bit upset but didn't cut off the phone because i thought that might be an opportunity for me to get to know the girl better through her aunt. She said every bad thing about her to discourage and to discontinue me from going out with her , except that she never mentioned that she is an illiterate (probably she thought i was aware of that already or maybe for some other reasons). May be if she would have said that, that might have had some effect on me, but she didn't. (Thank God) But one thing that i felt so good about from that night till today is that i never for once have the feeling that the girl is a slot like her aunt claimed, not in her physical appearance, personality and moreover a slot would never have been so romantic and had such a high magnetic friction like i experienced with her continuously until my holiday in Nigeria was over. Not since my first girlfriend and not since i was a teenager. First time after many years that i never had to jump into a river or a bottomless a pit.   Finally, when the aunt realized that am not responding positively to her, she threatened to knock on my door the next morning with the police and to make a scene at my place. At this point i was completely angry and i said to her, "try it if you can and i will be definitely waiting for you". I eventually cut the phone on her. What the girl wasn't aware of, is that her aunt has gone behind her back to check her phone and now back to your questions racheal84. I'll start with the second question. racheal84: If you have a niece that is unable to read and write and she is constantly receiving text messages from the same person, certainly she has a means of understanding the text messages (for example, someone might be reading out the messages for her) and like i've already pointed out in my statements above it's natural and out of curiosity that her aunt went through the girl's phone behind her back to find out what the message was all about and who the Sender is. And again, i later discovered something, due to some kind of actions that her aunt took in the following days. She didn't come to my house the next morning after our conversation on that night, eventhough i was more than ready for her, but rather she went to the house of her two close friends that she knew with her to make a BIG SCENE including the friend that introduced the girl to me. Some other small stupid things later follows. Her actions really became desperate. In a way i believe that the aunt is scared of losing the girl for her own selfish interest and hence preventing every possibility that might lead to the girl from being exposed. The same aunt sent the girl a text message a couple of hours later, something she has never done before according to the girl. Why did she choose to do that I guess maybe it's because her aunt didn't believe my story that i didn't know the whereabout of her niece in the first place and she might have thought that if the girl could received text messages from me in the past, she must have had a means of understanding the text messages. So her aunt thought she could as well send one too, with the belief that the girl would find a way of understanding what the text message meant. I think the aunt must have guess right. Actually, it never took the girl more than a minute to understand what the message meant . HOW? First question, racheal84: [color=#990000]Answer: simple!!! She might have used me. The fact that she is uneducated doesn't mean that she is not smart or doesn't have the ability to do many things educated people can do, it might just be limited. I believe they have the ability to memorise or recognise shapes, symbol, figures, letters and,,,,, and,,,,, and,,,,,. Somehow she knew the text message was from her aunt, and she showed it to me (like hey, read what my aunt's has just just sent to me), unknowingly i read out the text message and i asked her what she is going to do about it, since her aunt doesn't want her to return back home anymore and that's just all she did for me to read out the message for her to understand. I must confess she's smart. Now i realized that with just that simple move she made on that night, she succeded in killing two birds with a stone. She understood the text message and her secret still remain secret, at least till i left Nigeria. |
| Re: My Lover Is Illiterate! What Next? by waterworks(f): 10:56am On May 21, 2009 |
Illiterate girls are better than educated chicks, they obey the husband betteryes but they are street smart and can fool the husband better! |
| Re: My Lover Is Illiterate! What Next? by waladis(m): 1:57pm On May 21, 2009 |
Waterworks, you made it sound as if street smartness can only be used for negative things. It could also be used for lots of positive things such as protecting their pride, survival etc, And i don't think that am being fooled, if your statement is indirectly referring to me. |
| Re: My Lover Is Illiterate! What Next? by bolajordan(m): 2:39pm On May 21, 2009 |
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| Re: My Lover Is Illiterate! What Next? by bolajordan(m): 2:43pm On May 21, 2009 |
i[quote][/quote] my boyfriend is illiterate pls help wat can i do? sorry babe but u're f**k,  .goodnews though i'm not, fancy a switch? |
| Re: My Lover Is Illiterate! What Next? by nethacker(m): 10:52am On May 22, 2009 |
Niga Lurva:Gbam!!! u r very ryt, |
| Re: My Lover Is Illiterate! What Next? by Pittbaby(f): 9:36pm On Jun 01, 2009 |
she is illiterate and not dumb, no problem there ( off course na you go now where the shoe they pinch later on ) |
| Re: My Lover Is Illiterate! What Next? by waterworks(f): 2:19pm On Jun 04, 2009 |
waladis Yes street smartness can be used for many things neagtive and positive. And like you said protect thier pride survival very correct. which was my point. the poster before me was trying to say illiterate girls cannot stand up for themselves and therefore will obey the husband better. Utter rubbish. i was pointing out that just because they are not book smart doesnt mean they are not smart too. The fooling the husband bit is just to prove that whenever you underestimate anyone they will live up to and even more than your wildest imaginations. i dont know if you are beign fooled. how can i? im only a part of your hard drive! p.s Im on your side! |
| Re: My Lover Is Illiterate! What Next? by Hollysmile: 8:00pm On Jun 04, 2009 |
@poster, u sure u're educated? Mind u, there's a great difference b/w bein literate and educated. Anyway, take her 2cambridqe! Watchu think? |
| Re: My Lover Is Illiterate! What Next? by biola44: 12:38pm On Jun 05, 2009 |
kini big deal? wetin adult class dey 4?  |
| Re: My Lover Is Illiterate! What Next? by waladis(m): 4:18pm On Jun 05, 2009 |
That's OK Waterworks, no offence taken. By the way i agree with most of your arguments. |
| Re: My Lover Is Illiterate! What Next? by Oxone(m): 5:50pm On Jun 05, 2009 |
@op well thank God thats her only shortcomings as it can easily be remedied as she's fluent in English by enrolling her in a programe keep in mind thats some educated women have shortcomings that nothing short of a weekly deliverance will solve & even that is not completely guaranteed. a word they say is enough for the wise |
| Re: My Lover Is Illiterate! What Next? by congoshine(m): 6:16pm On Jun 05, 2009 |
1stly. . .pls confirm u f ucked her HARD ?! 2ndly. . , . seems you're in love,pls confirm 3rdly if answer to above is 'YES',marry her !  |
| Re: My Lover Is Illiterate! What Next? by waladis(m): 6:45pm On Jun 05, 2009 |
congoshine:Question Number 1: No comment Question Number 2: 1000000 times confirmed Question Number 3: Only if you promise to come on the wedding day |
| Re: My Lover Is Illiterate! What Next? by slimfine(f): 8:13pm On Jun 07, 2009 |
@waladis: I am kindda concered about you becuase you barely know this girl. did you meet her aunty, mom, her friend just to confirm all that story she told you? Now you up and rented a place for her and now you want to send her to school? there is nothing wrong with doing charity work oo! but this is Naija we are talking about and plus you are in the Uk so that makes you a potential prey. By the way, does this girl still want to go back to school? I understand that she intiatially came to Lagos for that but is the zeal still there? Not being able to read and write as many people have said is not a disease and can be changed but while you enroll her in school and all, u need to make sure u want help her as a friend because there are no guarantees that she will marry you upon her graduation! my two cents |
| Re: My Lover Is Illiterate! What Next? by waladis(m): 5:15pm On Jun 08, 2009 |
slimfine:I talked to her mum and the senior brother about a week ago for the first time. The mother is self employed at the College Of Education Warri. The mum appeared to be friendly but i guess the brother is either a bit too serious, strict or being protective over his sister which i can understand. Except the Mum, the brother spoke good and clear english. I intended to travel very soon to Nigeria (probably september) to get some more facts and to carry out some better plans concerning this issue if everything goes well. |
| Re: My Lover Is Illiterate! What Next? by waladis(m): 5:21pm On Jun 08, 2009 |
slimfine: _____________________________ |
| Re: My Lover Is Illiterate! What Next? by waladis(m): 5:50pm On Jun 08, 2009 |
slimfine:She knew i was schocked and unhappy about her Illiteracy. So a month ago while telling her on the phone that i will send to her some pocket money, she told me she would preffer if i can use the money to arrange for an adult learning programme for her. I was impressed but also see it as an opportunity to put her to test. Few days later, i called again to tell her that a male tutor will get intouch with her and her best friend (the one that introduced her to me) to make arrangement for the tuition. I hardly finished the sentence before she flatly said NO, and that she would preffer a female tutor. I must confess, i was double impressed with this action. |
| Re: My Lover Is Illiterate! What Next? by waladis(m): 6:10pm On Jun 08, 2009 |
slimfine:You might be right and that's one of the reason why am planing to go home soon, to get some more facts about her and to know her family background very well. I think i should be planing to have and investing on my own family. Not investing on a woman to be someoneelse wife in future. But please bear it in mind as well that adult education doesn't disturb pregnancy or marriage. As long as i can pray about it and still able to score 1, 2, 3 or more goals with my piston, i believe everything is possible . Thanks |
| Re: My Lover Is Illiterate! What Next? by slimfine(f): 7:52am On Jun 09, 2009 |
in that case, I bid you good luck and best wishes  you have a good intention and I pray it works out for the both of you. |
| Re: My Lover Is Illiterate! What Next? by Orikinla(m): 6:39pm On Oct 09, 2011 |
Please, dear poster. MARRY HER IF YOU TRULY LOVE HER. My mother was illiterate in English, but literate in Igbo. And a million times over, I would prefer her to be my mother to Queen Elizabeth 2. There is a pretty and sexy housemaid next door who is sexually well endowed and well bred, but yet to go to school and she likes me a lot. If I did not love my present girlfriend, I would have switched to the housemaid without wasting time. Her booty will give Beyonce tough competition any day. My buddies roll their eyes in lust whenever she passes by. |
Much Love For Tosyne2much / Lol!! See What A Guy Replied After A Girl Bashed Him For Being Broke / List Of 7 Scary But Normal Things That Happen To Women During Sex.
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