Nigerians: The Happiest People And The Most Stupid.
Written by Dr. Olusola Osineye
Saturday, 27 June 2009
Nigerians: The Happiest People And The Most Stupid

The festival of life (FOL) is London’s equivalent of Holy Ghost night - the monthly gathering of Christians in Nigeria, irrespective of denominations, at the redeemed Christian church camp to offer prayers and praises to God. Although the FOL is held twice a year at the Excel centre in East London, it is already turning into a ritual similar to the one at home. The turnout is always massive and the passion generated at the event is just typical of any gathering of devoted Nigerian Christians.

Politicians, clergymen from the Church of England, and other non-governmental organizations have started to associate very closely with this event. This somehow underscores the socio-political significance of the gathering. The former mayor of London, Ken Livingstone, once used the occasion to campaign during an election period and was given a tacit endorsement by the Nigerian churches but still lost anyway. Yes, he lost, partly because the Nigerian population in London is hardly significant to guarantee him any success at the polls. Besides that, the British electorate are not as dumb as those in Nigeria. That statement is actually my own hypothesis.

According to official statistics released in US, Nigerians are rated amongst the most highly educated foreigners. It is likely to be the same in the United Kingdom. But we are easily one of the most stupid also. We might be one of the most educated but the level of ignorance on display by even the educated lot is so amazing that I don’t think anything can salvage the country from her destined self-destruction. The horrible smell of our collective stupidity has reached high heavens and I think God can no longer stand the stench and that probably explains the type of leadership in every sphere of our lives. I know I have a lot of explanations to give for this generalization.

Wait! I don’t think I need to go far before getting evidence to back up my hypothesis on our collective stupidity. For example, if less than one million rogues are able to suppress the will and aspirations of over one hundred and forty-nine million people, what better explanation can one give for such a scenario? Well, I trust Nigerians they will give loads of reasons. But, I don’t really care about the reasons. I am only stating a fact.

For a start, my intention is not to discuss why the few stupid rogues are able to overwhelm the huge majority and push them into a state of unbelievable docility. Other people can talk about that. I am more concerned about the stupid one hundred and forty–nine million who believed that it is God’s will for the majority to live in abject poverty in the midst of plenty.

There was even a poll conducted not too long ago that gave justification to our stupidity, which gave further credence to my hypothesis. The poll claimed that we are the happiest people on earth. Jesus Christ! There is nothing more sinister than such ridicule. How could any group of people stay happy when they are in pitch darkness for twenty out of twenty-four hours in a day? Infant and maternal mortality rate is continuously one of the highest in the world. And of course life expectancy is about forty-five years for male. This means that if you are forty five, male and reading this article, you are one of the lucky few who are still alive because most of your mates who could not leave the country are already dead, and you are likely to be dead before the end of the week either through a ghastly motor accident on those death-traps called roads, or through ingestion of fake drugs or one equally stupid and mad police man would simply blow your brains out and nothing will happen. Anyway, never mind; just be happy, you are just another stupid Nigerian.

As I mentioned briefly earlier, one of the most compelling evidence of our level of stupidity can be seen in our attitude to religion. It is always God’s will. If Ya’Ardua suddenly drops dead tomorrow, as he likely would eventually anyway, (renal failure is a terminal ailment, and only transplant and not his stupid faith in some miracle can save him) and a few morons decided that Good-luck Jonathan is not from the North and therefore cannot become the next president, it would simply be God’s will. We would all write articles and scream on the pages of newspaper about the unconstitutionality of the decision but nothing would happen. We are clowns in Nigeria and the whole world is laughing at us. We all know that clowns act stupidly to make children laugh. So you can see that my hypothesis will eventually take shape.

Therefore, I daresay that religion will remain one of the greatest impediments to our greatness in Nigeria. Alternatively, if the influence of religion is effectively utilized it can actually be a useful tool for development.

Take a look at the North where Islam is the dominant religion. The wretched religious clerics in that part of the country can easily mobilize more than five million street urchins to wreck havoc on all Igbo traders because an unidentified person used a torn page from the Quran to wipe his bum after defecating. Has anyone ever wondered why it was always the Igbos? Meanwhile, they have never ever organised a peaceful rally to express their displeasure at the lack of development in the area.

The North is probably only second to the Stone Age in terms of human capital development. Even those in that age used their brains to fabricate sophisticated tools for hunting purposes. And then the joke of the century is when Forbes magazine suddenly came up with the story that the only billionaire from Nigeria is actually from that part of the country. Well, he is not the government so what is he supposed to do? I beg to differ. This guy has one of the most potent clouts in any government in Nigeria. He can advocate and strive to see that something is done. Bill Gates has used billions of dollars of his money to fight malaria. There is no malaria in America but it kills millions of children in Africa every year.

Christianity is the fastest growing industry in the southern part of the country. The pastors are growing fat while the congregation are burdened by the harsh economic conditions. All the rogues in government are elders in one church or the other. The churches are like second homes to looters of the treasury. They are chairmen or chairpersons of one church building committee or the other. The pastors are always saying special prayers for them and have no scruples about taking their stolen money.

The churches now buy private jets for their chief executive officers (oh sorry, pastor) and are shameless enough to claim that it is for evangelism. Meanwhile, half the congregation of those churches live on less than $1,000 in a year while most of the youth are jobless. Yes, the pastors are not the ones to provide jobs; but how many times have they criticised the government for not creating those jobs? How many times have they told them that they cannot continue to loot the treasuries and then come around to the house of God to make some bogus claims of God’s blessings in their lives?

During the last American election, religious leaders were very vocal in their criticism of one government policy or the other. They do not keep quiet and say it is God’s will. Barack Obama’s pastor, Reverend Wright, was so vocal about his criticism of America’s racial divide that he became a big threat to his election prospect. That is the job of a pastor- saying the truth as it is, and not only collecting tithes and junketing about in private jets in the name of evangelism.

Pastor Tunde Bakare is the only pastor that I respect in Nigeria. He told Obasanjo to his face that he is evil. That is a real man of God. I worship with RCCG but not impressed that all manner of past and present rogue governors and ministers tend to associate with the overseer. They are always present at the Holy Ghost nights. They have probably repented and God has forgiven them and they are free to enjoy the loot till they die. A thief is a thief. I don’t care if God has forgiven them. What manner of forgiveness is that anyway? How about the thousands that died on the roads that he refused to tar? How about the thousands of kids that died because there was no free Medicare?

The Yorubas of South-West are the most pathetic. They are quick to boast of their education and sophistication. Meanwhile, Adedibu and Obasanjo were the best they could come up with as national leaders. The former was the head of street urchins while the latter has a reputation for sleeping with his children’s wives.

I am actually fed up discussing and writing articles about our thieving leaders. They will never change anyway, at least not through our lengthy articles or criticism. If you believed that Ya’Ardua and his PDP cohorts will not rig 2011 election, then you are even more stupid than an average Nigerian. Your own stupidity is extra-terrestrial. If you believed that the electoral reform would lead anywhere, I despise your sense of reasoning. If anyone believes that Nigeria will wobble and fumble (a la Fanny Amun!) into greatness, then I leave you alone to perish as a nonentity who only came to this world to look at Eko Bridge. (Or London bridge)

The Igbos and the Ijaws are probably the ones that have been most rebellious, the least religious and hence the least stupid. Maybe that is where the hopes of Nigeria lie. They would never accept that something is the will of God simply because somebody said so. They are difficult to subjugate and that is one of the reasons there was a civil war in the first place. Ojukwu remains a true hero. Why would some group of murderers continue to kill your people over some flimsy excuses? If I was an Igbo, I would be a low-life not to fight under those circumstances. He fought for what he believed in and the Igbo people followed him because they are not stupid like my people, the Yorubas. Although they lost the war and millions of lives were lost, but I know that they live to fight another day as long as some people continue to deter the progress of others.

The Ijaws have taken over the struggle and though there have been some criminality in the struggle, that is not unexpected, but by and large they have shown that people’s destiny is in their own hands and God’s will has nothing to do with it.

Yar’Adua and the looters of the treasury, both at the federal and state level, have started to panic as MEND cripples the oil industry. MEND, a ragtag bunch of militias have exposed the weakness of the Nigerian government. They quickly and with lightening speed offered them amnesty. They knew if there is no more oil, there wouldn’t be any Nigeria. They planned to kill twenty million Ijaws to satisfy the lust and cravings of those vampires in Abuja.

Nigeria cannot continue to be the butt of jokes in the world. We cannot continue to believe that everything is the will of God. It is not God’s will to lack the basic things of life, and certainly not his will that our children should still be dying from malaria because there are no good hospitals. Untimely death from accident on death traps called road is not the will of God. All these things are the creations of the rogues amongst us and we have aided and abetted their actions because we have kept silent and didn’t act. Our lack of action is construed as acceptability; we are therefore very stupid collectively.

http://www.nigeriavillagesquare.com/index.php/content/view/12621/55

Happiness is the highest goal a human being can achieve. 
If we're happy, it's not a bad thing: as long as the happiness is sustainable.

The churches now buy private jets for their chief executive officers (oh sorry, pastor) and are shameless enough to claim that it is for evangelism. Meanwhile, half the congregation of those churches live on less than $1,000 in a year while most of the youth are jobless. Yes, the pastors are not the ones to provide jobs; but how many times have they criticised the government for not creating those jobs? How many times have they told them that they cannot continue to loot the treasuries and then come around to the house of God to make some bogus claims of God’s blessings in their lives?

I am actually fed up discussing and writing articles about our thieving leaders. They will never change anyway, at least not through our lengthy articles or criticism. If you believed that Ya’Ardua and his PDP cohorts will not rig 2011 election, then you are even more stupid than an average Nigerian. Your own stupidity is extra-terrestrial.

If you believed that the electoral reform would lead anywhere, I despise your sense of reasoning. If anyone believes that Nigeria will wobble and fumble (a la Fanny Amun!) into greatness, then I leave you alone to perish as a nonentity who only came to this world to look at Eko Bridge. (Or London bridge)

I no fit shout

Good article

This is the best article I've read from a Nigerian in months!

[size=18pt]Excellent write-up!!![/size]

Atleast they're happy.
Some are grouchy and stupid, we're happy and stupid.
One level up!

i do not trust the genuity of purpose behind this article.
most of them are out to push ppl out to die while they remain behind to enjoy.
enough of these praises for the igbos as this kind of praises were part of the misleading actions of the same ppl who betrayed us at the middle of the war.
we want to praise u ppl this time.
pls let someone help me tell the author of this article that we have known them enough that we don't get moved with their deciets again.
if we are happy and stupid, at least we are 50% on. what about sad and stupid ppl?

SHuffering and SHmiling

Richyblack you stuck this thread  ?Good job.

asha 3:

Richyblack you stuck this thread  ?Good job.

What I love about the article was how he talked about kleptomaniacs in the Nigerian polity becoming "elders" in churches. People that should be serving time with hard labor in saner societies are made "elders" in Nigerian churches!

now yall listen and listen;

190 abeg commot for that toto section may u listen as well haha

u see when i say that this man sittin right here ikeyman00 aka Superman this is, u think this is a joke? well i think 2nite is once again the answer my friend

what u read in that article has be repeated time after time by me here in nl

that man reads my post!! hmmm my fan yes ooo

we will carry on till we get that!!

if those gworo chewer ever think that stupidity will last for ever, they are jokin for real

yes becomemoron yes pretend like u didnt see that article 

remember god dnt like ulgy, so looters u will never be forgiven for million that go hungry like hausa cow

i smell a rat with that happiness by the way, it could be faking. happiness and all smiley outside . . . inside they are busy hitting their women and children due to stress, hot temper and pressure happiness indeed

Afaukwu:

[b]We cannot continue to believe that everything is the will of God. It is not God’s will to lack the basic things of life, and certainly not his will that our children should still be dying from malaria because there are no good hospitals. Untimely death from accident on death traps called road is not the will of God. [/b]All these things are the creations of the rogues amongst us and we have aided and abetted their actions because we have kept silent and didn’t act. Our lack of action is construed as acceptability; we are therefore very stupid collectively.

Nigeria is drowning in religion.

Question mark added to title to eliminate the implied certainty that Nigerians are stupid, even if collectively.

Richy, which ever way you look at it, we are indeed stupid and ITS A CERTAINTY!!

stupidity it is and stupidity it shall remain. why is it that other countries don't rely on the will of god and take to the streets to effect change and change they get.

The writer of this article has raised many valid points but i rise in protest against the collective insult handed down by the writer to us! Nigerians are not stupid! We know what is going on, maybe we are docile. The writer seems to have a grouse against the church, next time you want to write a article i will advice you to carry out a little research before rushing to conclusions, some churches are actually helping the poor in all possible ways and speaking out against corrupt leadership. But on the whole, i think it is a good write up.

Omo Richy

Any reasons why u locked the thread  initially


cheers

The nigerian situation is not funny anymore.

k pal i see u 2morrow

no worri oo i go better naw



yea? how?na magic or man of god?

Happily Stupid.

roflmao!!

Seriously, did anyone really believe that whole mush about Nigerians being the happiest people on the planet? Is it possible to be happy and miserable at the same time? ( please consult the meaning of the words HAPPY and MISERABLE before you respond).

Kobojunkie:

roflmao!!

Seriously, did anyone really believe that whole mush about Nigerians being the happiest people on the planet? Is it possible to be happy and miserable at the same time? ( please consult the meaning of the words HAPPY and MISERABLE before you respond).

I BELIEVE THEY HAVE A POINT ABOUT BEING THE HAPPIEST BASED ON THE FACT THAT IN THESE TIMES OF UTMOST MISERY, PEOPLE ARE JUST LAUGHING AND JOKING ABOUT AS IF THEY WON A LOTTERY. IT BAFFLES ANYONE WHO WITNESSES IT. WHAT DO YOU THINK.

Are we really happy

tarano:

Are we really happy

THATS WHAT THE WORLD SEES AND BELIEVES.

Bologne!!! Having a smile on your face, or enjoying a laugh or two does not make you a HAPPY person.


Reminds me of a certain video I watched back in College a couple of years ago. Story on figuring out if happiness was in the gene. I went away feeling really sorry for the one woman who claimed she was happy. She had won the lottery, blacklisted all her family since she suspected all they wanted from her was her money, and then she built herself this "furry" palace that looked like crap so she could claim she was not one of the elite in her community and what not.

Don't worry about the world. I think they see us for what we truly are. Only out of politeness, or some other reason, they label us the HAPPIEST. lol

or perhaps Stupidly Happy

Sweet Baby Jeez! You hit the nail on the head! Pretty cool article and well written! At least two thirds of our miseries spring from human stupidity, human malice and those great motivators and justifiers of malice and stupidity, idealism, dogmatism and proselytizing zeal on behalf of religious or political idols. When we blindly adopt a religion, a political system, a literary dogma, we become automatons. We cease to grow. The high degree of ignorance and stupidity in over-whelming majority of Nigerians is and can rightly be link to the guidnace of this illiterate greedy psychopathic half-baked religious leaders.

Even our media have stopped any kind of incisive news reporting and have become the mouth piece of all sort of religious non-sense. I just don't understand why they cannot give them a seperate TV spectrum to vent their spiteful and archaic concepts of Life. We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.

Honestly I don't see why they cannot take those churches and mosque and convert them to schools since huge amounts are spend trying to build these things to an absent God who doesn't even care a fig about them while our sacred Temples of Learning have all rumbled, begging for the slightest attention.  [b]The fact that a believer [Nigerians] is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one. The happiness of credulity is a cheap and dangerous quality- George Bernard Shaw. Anyway, the day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus by the Supreme Being in the womb of a virgin, or Mohammad as the last Prophet will be classed with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter.

I do not feel obligated to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reasons, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. For all our religious piety, we have regressed backwards more than anytime else in our history. We remain one of the most corrupt countries in the planet.
He who will not reason is a bigot; he who cannot is a fool; and he who dares not is a slave. We need to restore Reason to her throne in that country and stop this madness that have taken control of our kinfolks.

Yet, this is the symptoms of the disease that have blighted the country. When the Sate abdicates its responsibility to its citezens, every sort of virus comes in to fill the vacuum.

Nigerians think they are happy stupid animals in human skin suffering and smiling.
Nigeria is a country filled with vampires that will suck your blood they are not happy people.
Witch,wizards,demons ogbanje people.
Nigerians need deliverance from the madness the oyinbo man gave them.
Nigerians are not happy they are dieing in silence.
Stupid is understatement slowpoke is the word mumu malu ewu epa this is nigeria.

bombay:

Nigerians think they are happy stupid animals in human skin suffering and smiling.
Nigeria is a country filled with vampires that will suck your blood they are not happy people.
Witch,wizards,demons ogbanje people.
Nigerians need deliverance from the madness the oyinbo man gave them.
Nigerians are not happy they are dieing in silence.
Stupid is understatement slowpoke is the word mumu malu ewu epa this is nigeria.

Bombay!
Haba!!! Your ointment is too strong.