Who will save me from my mother-in-law?
Letter
Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Dear Readers,





http://odili.net/news/source/2010/oct/12/613.html

Our writer today is in a critical situation. Her husband and mother in-law are on her trail. She needs your advice on what to do, please, read and advise her. Thanks, Monica Taiwo.

Dear Taiwo,

Please, help me before my husband and his mother send me to my early grave. I have been

married for four years now; four years of hell.

When I met George (my husband), he was so caring and loving; the best refined and easy going man I ever met. I want to believe that his recent attitude was induced by his mother and as far as I am concerned, I am on the verge of breaking down, I don't think I can bear this any longer.

After our marriage, God blessed us with three beautiful children; two girls and a boy. One of the girls is still a baby.

I noticed George's behaviour began to change when he got his first job. When we moved from our one-room apartment to a three - bedroom, he invited his mother to stay with us because she was getting advanced in age and there was no one to stay with her in the village. Hence, she came to live with us and that was when things started going wrong.

Mama had never approved of me from the beginning and it was George's assurance and love that allayed my fears I didn't know things would turn around and I would be their scapegoat.

When I had our last baby, Mama took over the running of our home. Initially, I mistook her attitude to be an act of kindness, but it was not long she started showing her true colour. She would dictate everything to me and it got to the extent that she would receive and dismiss visitors as she wished.

I complained to George about this and reminded him of our initial plan not to bring any relative to our matrimonial home, but his response shocked me. He said if I was not contented with his mother's presence, I should leave his house. He said I should try to embrace his mother as my own.

I decided to be cautious. Perhaps, I was overdoing it, I thought I should be more patient with Mama, after all, what if she was my mother? But George's rude response lingered in my memory for a long time that I found it hard to even discuss any personal issue with him; he never bothered too.

The situation started getting worse as the gap between us was widening daily. Our communication was at zero level and for weeks, he refused to eat at home. He would give one excuse or the other to abandon the food I cooked for him.

Mama was aware of all that was going on between us. In fact, it was as if she was behind it all because she actually became closer to George. They were inseparable; they were playing husband and wife and I was left to cater for myself and my baby.

When all these were going on, the children were at the receiving end. George no longer showed them fatherly love; he disregarded their needs and whenever they asked him for anything, he would direct them to me without blinking an eye.

One fateful day, Mama had a disagreement with me over some visitors who came calling. I challenged her that she was allowing many unknown faces into the house. She yelled at me, claiming it was her son's house and no one could stop her from doing whatever she wanted. When George came that night, Mama painted another picture of what happened earlier in the day; she even said I abused her.

In a nutshell, George refused to listen to my own side of the story; he just slapped me. There and then, he asked me to pack my things and leave his house. I pleaded with him for the children's sake, but all to no avail.

The following day, I packed some few things and with the children, I went back to my mother; she was all I had left since I lost my father when I was a child.

Mama was at the centre of the situation; she was in support of her son. She told me I had not been a good wife, that his son had made a big mistake when he chose to marry me. She even said I had brought bad luck to her son and she even doubted if my children were her son's.

I was so pissed off with what Mama said, but there was nothing I could do. I tried to think if I had offended her, I couldn't just place it.

Anyway, I have been at home for six months with my mother now and the issue has not been resolved, but the problem now is that my husband is disturbing me and the children. He has been coming around trying to plead and see the children. I still love my husband and I couldn't stop him from coming and see them even if he abandoned us, but as long as his mother is alive, things would not change for the better.

I am not a woman who advocates single parenting or divorce; I know I need my husband to raise these children. I have missed him for this one year and it has not been easy for me taking care of those children alone, but what will I do with my mother-in-law?

George has been going to the children's school to see them and I had met him there on one or two occasions. His looks suggested he regretted his actions and with unspoken words, he wants me to come back but he wouldn't say a word whenever he sees me. This attitude of his gets me annoyed and makes me wonder if it is his ego that is holding him back from apologising or his mother? His mother certainly must have something to do with this. Sometimes I even think she is fetish. My mother is always encouraging me that he would come around since he has realised his mistakes but how long will I wait? I want my husband and home back. Please, what can I do to help my husband and our home from his callous mother?

Toun.

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-529359.0.html


Hahahahaha I knew there was sthg fishy aboout this thread, little wonder I refused to post there

jennykadry:




Hahahahaha I knew there was sthg fishy aboout this thread, little wonder I refused to post there

Stop laughing jor . . . . . thats a sore point

Mr CC is always telling me most of the threads here are fictitious.

Infact when we are having a sat morning lie in or we are in the car etc he teases me and asks me to gist him about latest Nairaland stories. It is entertainment to him

Even If I tell him something serious about politics or a news story he always asks me first before I go any further "is this a Nairaland story or a Newspaper story?" 

How can he be so right? Infact I am logging off jor    

Please Continue Discussion at:


Re: Who Will Save Me From My Mother-in-law?
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-529359.0.html