₦airaland Forum

somegirl:
Nilla, I am enjoying it. Gwatala set me up on this game. Hopefully, he'll be back one day. I miss him ---

cool. will check out his thread sometime. Can see your having fun

Genial:
I'm sorry, darling.

I suppose I should still have commented, even though I felt somegirl and macalurs had done you some degree of justice with their comments.

I think it was a really good first attempt. I also love your unabashed declaration of love for the motherland.

Good one.

Has that by any chance straightened the furrows of displeasure on your forehead?

good, no more frowns, only smiles

somegirl:
My mother will never die
and if she did, I'd cry
but she won't, never,
so we'll be together, for ever.

your very good at using a poem to respond to other poems.

Genial:
And now I'm thinking of Nilla.

Meanwhile you didnt make any comment on my first ever poem

Genial:
You know what I think of Nilla, and effect she has on [i]man[/i]kind. What do you think it's due to?

Better still, what would you have it due to?

_{Wipe your tears, Princess. It will be well.}

your the poet. you should answer what you want it to be due to. i think  i will be fine with either.

and now I'm thinking somebody else should judge "Nilla", "Madre" and "Deja vu", cos i wont be fair  

ok guys pls dont get me crying too.

Genial:
Yes indeed, thank you.

Though whether that is due to your reply or to the cyber kiss is another question entirely.

ok what is it due to?

monister:
Tribute

Mother though you're gone,
Thoughts of you are ever fresh in me,
I still hear your loving voice,
Feel your tender touch,
It feels like you're still there,
Till realization hits me,
And I discover you've been snatched by death
as it slowly ate you
While I stood helpless
The night before I remember you say goodnight
as if you knew it was to be the last
Adieu Adieu dear mum:
Though you're gone, I know you watch me
Up there in the Grandstands,
As I run the race of life.
Soon we shall be together never to part again
Till then,

monister,

good work. very touching and moving.

Genial:

I am the beholder.

That is the essence of the poem. It attempts to show you a picture of words. As far as the poem is concerned, I know Nilla more than anyone else (including yourself).

Are you saying that I have not succeeded in making you think of Nilla as a great beauty or [for the male] have I not succeeded in making you wish for a more informal (and perhaps more intimate) rendezvous with her?

If I did not succeed in doing that, then the objective of the poem is lost. It was a failed attempt.

Now put me out of my misery, Nilla. Did I succeed?

Misery be gone. you succeeded. it wasnt a failed attempt.
Are you feeling better now .

Beauty? lets leave that for the beholder .


will put my critique for those 3 poems later then.

That was a description of the breasts. I shouldn't have to tell you this, you know.

who's breasts are you talking about          
lol

All in good time, senorita. Methinks those two were in response to my Nilla.

lol

so you want me to judge "Nilla" "Madre" and "Deja Vu"

aight

perfect how?

lol.

i dont know how soon i'll have another one out.
_{meanwhile i added you to my YIM.}

Can you critique the poem, please?

I'd like you to show me the picture it paints in your mind, how effectively I have communicated my thoughts, and what exactly you like about it.

Genial
i like everything about it. but just wondering what this line means: Twin peaks alluring, so very turgid



meanwhile,
Genial and macalurs pls no fighting on my behalf


"Madre" and "Deja vu" i will comment on later.
Genial are you sure you dont want to put in one to compete with those two?

somegirl:
My dear Nilla, na lie o! This can't have been your first poem ever - just way too good for that. I like em - your and Malacurs' poems - better than those that paint Nigeria in very dark colours.

darling it is.
cant you see how long it took me to come up with one. like i said earlier i never really paid attention to poems until francs thread.

macalurs:
Nilla is that really your first painting? it's breathtaking. . . "Just like vanilla"

thanks.
_{Nilla is actually from vanilla}

my poem first then my comments later. Macalurs i see you have a Nigerian poem now. so do i.


my first poem ever.


NIGERIA

Oh hail Nigeria
Land of multiple languages
Land of multiple cultures
Land of variety and diversity

You may say its troubled
You may say there is no hope for it
But I urge you, think again
For its the dawn of a new era

No other place would you find such uniqueness
People are happy regardless of adversity
Grace, style and persevearance is their hidden name
Always colorful in exotic outfits

Oh hail Nigeria, my home
Can't love any other like i love you
Love undisputed
Value priceless.