₦airaland Forum

Tell ur husband and make him promise he won't divulge it out.
Don't tell the man about the fact that you and ur sister lied about her pay. Don't get urself involved, your sister will hate you for it forever. And she will put the blame of her marriage crash on that singular act of conspiring with her man to crash her marriage.

dealslip:
Hormones are different and have different functions. The ones for sex is different from the one for work or stress.

Will you stfu for Christ sake?

Lanretoye:
if na lagos state governor talk this one,they will read another meaning to it

Not all governor has the integrity and moral ground to make that statement. Lagos State governor is the father of rigger.. Making that statement will make him more criminal

This one dey find grave wey e one die

When you go use your mouth cause trouble who did you first inform

Skj13777:
This guy does not know what a virgin is neither do you. From the story apparently the guy has been played with the virgin deception. That lady used virgin and no sex before marriage to lure him in . Now she has gotten what she wants easily. The guy has just been scammed into early marriage with a professional " non virgin". Anyways I don't know how to help him because he has already married. For men out there pls be wary of ladies that call themselves virgin and say no "sex before marriage " they are one of the worst type in the dating market. Run from them if you can it's a well known trick. The guy married her because she promised sex after marriage only to get the marriage then deny him sex because she is pregnant and according to the calculations it was after the first sex ! I can't fall for that kind of trap. 26yrs old has been played by a lady that probably has been having sex from age 15yrs and has been tough to claim virgin and insist on marriage before sex . This guy fell for the scam neat. I wonder why he does not have senior brothers or worldly family members close to him. The intimacy they had before the marriage mysteriously disappeared because she was a virgin and got pregnant. But the pregnancy did not affect other activities. I laugh is Spanish. Anyways it's well

My guy, u get the drift. It's really crazy for a man to allow a so called Virgin who is supposed to be naive, kind, and caring to play all these tricks .
Even me till now, I no believe say the lady na true Virgin. And even if she's a true virgin, that lady is ahead of her age and smarter than that guy...
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If the guy doesn't assert himself and cut out the bullshit, that's going to be the tone that will determine the future marriage dynamics.
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Hormone and pregnancy for a less than two month marriage can never be a reason for a woman to act mean, selfish and uncaring to a supposed man who waited 2yrs for sex after marriage. That's bullshit.
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Imagine, the woman actually had substantial control during dating, telling him no sex, while they did all other things like smooching, fingering, kissing, sucking and all..aside her Trump card which is the sex that she rigidly enforced.. Now she got her ring, only to further the game as to have total control on the mans emotions, happiness and decisions using the sex card.

The lady knows what she's doing..... And she's strategic about it, it's simply her game to consolidate herself as the leader of the house so she can get anything she wants... It's left for the guy to break it with hefty consequences or end up a doormat and simp in his own house

Loveisgreat:
Good day my brother! I tried to feel your pain. I was also opportune to marry a virgin lady. I want you to firstly be grateful to God Almighty for the favour of getting your wife pregnant after two weeks into marriage. Many men and women that have the best sexual libido have nothing to show for their efforts since so many years in marriage. Still waiting till now. I understand you that one major reason of you entering into this marriage is SEX but you must include COMPANIONSHIP.
The counsellor that told you to wait for the first semester gave you the best advice if you a Christian. Afterwhich, if no changes then approach your church female counsellor or Pastor's mummy. Then on your side, try to come down to her feeling and practice emotional relief support system with her by engaging in house chores such as cooking, running washing machine even sweeping floors on her behalf sometimes. Create time for weekend outings and unwind together. Change your lightnings bulbs to colorful type and always play slows worship songs and if possible play slow blues in the night while together with her. Ensure you eat together and sit beside each other. Try to get sexy boxers. God will heal your home and you will never lose it in Jesus name.

If he follows this advise. He will live to regret it.
He should sweep, cook, wash plate because of sex. Like wtf. How does a man downgrades himself like a doormats and home slave to a wife because of sex.... He should take her out buy this, buy that... Nonsense.
Our ancestors will be shaking in their graves how stvpid and effeminate we have become

famouscargo4u:
I suffered same and this has shattered our marriage.

Kai. So sorry for your situation.
This OP should be asking you how you initially handle it which dint work, so he can know what to avoid which may never work

lebete3000:
Just kuku tell the man to divorce her jarey.
All this games because of kpekus wey you invest time, money and energy in marrying is not necessetri.

The signs wey there but the guy was naive with women.

He should count his losses, learn his lessons and move on.

Bro, it may sound mean, but let me tell you, this is the beginning of a marriage, and whatever a guy allow early on will be the template the home will be run by.
Imagine he's already washing plate and cooking food for a woman that doesn't even acknowledge his existence. Isn't that a wrong move for a 6 weeks marriage?
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He also needs to assert his own rule, and man must not totally bend to a woman's rule, u too must form your own rule and stand by it.
He must not wash plate again..... Washing plate for two people should not be a task for a new wife... Even if she went to work.....
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If she dint show affection, there's no need for the man to turn himself to a simp in his own house trying to seek attention like house boy, pleading, and buying gift for a new wife.. Haba.. Nonsense...

He should play his own game too. That's my point. Otherwise, the woman will take advantage and control.... While shes setting her boundaries, the man should also make her know he too has a boundary that not even pregnancy or hormone will make him change it...... It's important so that see finish no go dey, and the woman will know her man isn't a man to manipulate without counter consequences.
There must be consequence set in place for every abnormal action .. So that she won't start thinking she can make abnormal action the norm

Hamasblokers1:
It's normal bro to some ladies especially vergins

After she give birth na u go run from sex demand because her sex life will multiply and increase her libido
It happened to my wife too

Two weeks after wedding ur woman no allow u touch am, ur woman tell u say u have to wait 9months, ur woman, ur woman was happy shutting u down showing no care while u keep washing plates and cooking food when she went to work only for her to come home , eat, press gone, and sleep? Shay naso ur woman treat u? Nonsense

Ozzyk:
I'm on 6 weeks leave immediately after our wedding
She resumes work the 3rd week after our wedding
Whenever she goes to work I do the cooking, and cleaning and other basic home duties before she comes back from work.
By the time she comes back she'd just eat press phone and sleep
But still all these doesn't yield anything positive
I stopped doing the home works since it yields nothing

So within 4 weeks of marriage, u don dey wash plate, cook food.... Smh.... Kai, which kine men we kon get for this era. Wash plate for a new wife.. Like wash plate? Within one month? How do u feel doing that rubbish for a woman who doesn't even notice it cos she no send u.. It's her work. Stop washing plate... Stop it... If she can't wash it leave it. Be a man. If u start doing house chores this early, then u are already sending a wrong signal that u are not man enough to sit down and be served.
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Stop washing plate. Don't cook. Don't... Na see finish

Hope he has finally given his life to Christ. That's what a church should celebrate that they won a soul, not that an unbelievers climbs the pupit yet no salvation. That makes us ask what is the real purpose of church

Mariangeles:
You don carry your private sensitive matter enter nairaland, abi?
If you like, let them make you begin doubt your new wife, and destroy your home, you hear?

As for your wife, I believe her body is going through a phase/process she's not familiar with, and everythingthere is happening so fast -- between the time she had her first sex, and conceiving.
Just try to be patient with her, and keep helping her in any way you can, to make her feel comfortable.
Hopefully, by the 2nd-3rd trimester, things will change for the better.
You might not have to wait until after she gives birth.

So within two weeks to one month of marriage this is how you intend to behave and pay your husband who was responsible enough to respect you, honour your body, and not take u as sex object while dating like other guys do?
In the name of hormone, no more communication, bonding, touching and kissing? Even if knacking no dey, so hormone also affect showing care, bonding, and communicating. Women are just too selfish...

A man spent millions few months ago to marry a woman only to end up being manipulated under the guise of hormone or body is changing fast.

What rubbish, when most ladies get pregnant and abort while single, hormone no matter na when they are legally married this nonsense dey happen ba?
Make una continue. Shebi mumu kuku plenty wey go carry una put for house

Possible end of those ladies flexing around jumping from one club, cock and hotel to another

GanagiBitrus:
I no know the kind gum wey dem take gum that imperial Leather sticker.
Water no dey ever comot am.
It sticks till the soap finishes.

Wtf, I still bought this in 2020

Chubhie:
Her body is going through a lot. A man has needs. Get a lil creative and she go open give you.

You are very dumbbb sorry to say.
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Her body is going through a lot.. Which lot?
.2 weeks marriage, less than 2 weeks honeymoon and.. 2 weeks of so called pregnancy then her body is going through a lot? Like how?
What should a 7month pregnant woman body do? What should a woman who just deliver do.....
..

brain54:
I am not talking about all these your tactics...


And any other thing you posted. But did you consider that it may not be a case of manipulation but just a simple case of she being frigid or having low sexual drive genuinely?

Some people simply have low sex drives and it might not be about manipulation!

Oga go and sit down with ur Western bullshit
... You don't know Nigerian women. Do like dodoyo they will turn you to an ozuor. Nonsense and frigidity.

Ozzyk:
I tried at first to reason with her excuses throughout last month until last week that it doesn't seem to make sense anymore....
When I talk say she go talk say she no ready give in until after 9 months
You won't even notice that she's pregnant yet
She's very active at her work place, goes to chuch regularly, markets, cook and other day to day activities

Oga. This is not right at all
At the beginning of what should be your bonding time, she's playing games and manipulation....
These are what you should do.

1. Erase the fact you have in your head that she's godly or good or virgin. Erase it. It no longer count. Otherwise you won't be able to act as a man, even when u are hurting, ur emotional side will be emasculating you..
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2. Approach the situation practically and zero your mind completely away from having sex with her. At least before marriage u dint die without sex. So don't let her use the sex card to turn u to her slave.
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3. Insist on pregnancy test
4. Insist on DNA test after 9 months..... Just to get on her nerves and make her agitated that you may not trust her.
5 Don't try to please her, do the barest minimum and no special treat. I beg you, no special treat or outing meant to curry favor.
6 play the same game she's playing. And don't bother her for sex... and don't seek her attention.
7 don't sleep in same room at night..go sleep in the second room.
8 Create scene and lambast her if she tries to gaslight you or flip the script on you for behaving mean towards her. A woman should be able to see your anger expressed as a man when she crosses certain lie. Even if u can't express anger.. voice and act it... No go dey do gentle man for this situation o

Over times she will sit up if she realises u are not taking her manipulation.

But I bet you can't do this because u still see her as a saint who has ur best interest.. Lol.. But she's there manipulating you and trying to be the boss over you. If u don't flip the script, she will turn ur boss, u will have to obey anything she says, and she will make you beg for everything in that marriage

Cum4me:
To keep woman for house all in the name of marriage as a guy wen guide for himself no easy oo. As I become 37 I realized all those love I used to experience when I was 20 was fairy tales. As I experience the real reality of life I became cold in relationship.

My own coldness is even worse. And makes me super judgemental of every woman... Physical spec or achievement don't even move me anymore. And I have no interest in the sexual aspect of a relationship, it now seems I don't need a woman in my space... Since almost every where, what they project is sex, money and the superficial.
Makes it difficult to see reason why I should take the stress to pursue women

Most men wey be newly married no kon geh sense again for this country....like clueless.
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Which planet does 2 weeks pregnancy means no more touching, kissing and sex for a couple.
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Even 7 months pregnant woman with big Belle still dey knack Deir husband. 2 weeks honeymoon and waiting 9months after delivery seems like something sensible to you?

nigeriaposter:
I m currently married to one. My Dad even adopted her as a daughter, even included her in his will. Until she showed him her real character.

That girl will first you marry, if she wants to. They are highly likable.

As a mother, she is very good to her children. But I have being training the boys not to give in the manipulative nature of their mother.

As for wife, she has nothing on me. The only power she gets is s*xx, and I get alternatives for that.

I told her once, if I must carried you go abroad, I would not do mistake go UK or USA, it is Afghanistan we will go.

There actually men who can handle those type of women. And if you can make them respect you somehow, you are good to go, at least they will handle your children and home well, but u just have to be alert to their schemings and manipulative tactics and not bow to it, that's the only u can retain their respect. Once u allow them have higher hand in getting u through manipulation, they will make you hell and a doormat

Kobojunkie:
All of them lies, since there are literally no difference between your many spiritual/religious type and the non-religoius men out there... they all seem to see women are objects for their desires.

Is it men of God u came to serve? Abi God?
What stops you from becoming the true man of God who people can learn the truth about God from instead of always lamenting about so called men of God.
Cos it always seems u are trying to heal from certain trauma inflicted by your associating wit fake men of God in the past. Try and become a true man of God and your life can give meaning to other yearnings to meet real men of God

A lot of women can actually kiss a man like this. A lot of them on this platform at that. As long as he has money.
Nigerian women have no taste. No spiritual consideration. No virtue, no character check.. Just money. Kai
What a terrible devilish mindset that can lie with the devil himself.
If you are a man, you need to be extremely spiritual and sensitive to not attract those luciferous women, it's very important they don't come close to you and you don't receive them. They are only meant to suck u dry and destroy u. I will rather be single forever than share same house or bed with those women.

She has had two husbands who are both alive. Is that biblical? On what ground did she leave the first and marry the second.. Isn't that adultery for a woman according to both old and new testament?

Dpsychologist:
Wahala for the hyperreligious.

We are too superstitious in Nigeria.

There's difference between spiritual truth and superstition.
The day you start seeing the spiritual knowledge that underpins sexual purity, you will have deeper understanding of the whys of what you write about, and you will gain the power to live above the trappings of sexual snares laid by women of easy virtues. That's the true freedom

No spiritually serious man should be found doing transactional dating business on those hook up app.
It's like trading away your life force and sense of purpose with profane souls that have nothing to offer other than destruction. In fact feasting on those pictures is like focusing on fake damage product that are mere septic tanks of deceits. I

Wise Men would beware of those site peopled by women of coven spirit, marine spirit and soulless life sucking women... whose aim is to bring you down.

Mumu man
There are something u are not supposed to be told as a man..... Extending help when not told and when you have capacity to do is what makes you reasonable, honorable, and respectable.

When and where is the final burial ceremony..... jollof rice and one cow should go down for this