Episode 19

Vibration 2

Philomena packed her belongings into her back, the class had ended that evening and from the weather assesment, a storm was brewing.

Udoh straightened his shirt, rubbed some quantity of chalk dust on his face.
"Harry, how does i look?" Udoh asked.

Harry chuckled. "I no know ooo"

Udoh retrieved a satchet of de rock and emptied the content into his mouth. He squeezed his face as the content burned down his throat.
He then made the sign of the cross and marched towards Philomena.

"Hello, Mrs. Vibration...i am feeling it!"

Philomena froze in her tracks and turned towards Udoh.
"Are you mad? Is my name Vibrator?"

"Noo, the thing is...your backyard shakes everytime you take a step!" He smiled and brought his hands forward. "I'm Udoh, i attend the same church with you!"

"You are a bastard!"

"Jesu!" He gasped. "Wetin i do?"

"You are a poverty stricken bastard! You are the person who defiled me in church huh?"

Her screams attracted most people.

"If you ever come closer to me, I'll kill you!" She made to leave but Udoh held her hand.

"Vibration, please don't insult me like that and go...i have never defined you in the church...what kind of defination are you talking about?" He was truly lost.

"You are a true definition of a first class dunce...you see that rubbish you did to me in church, you'll pay for it".

"What did i do?" He was still confused.

"You had the gut to romance me in the church...you no fear God"

"Ooooh! That service? I was under anionting na"

"Soo, anionting made you squeeze my breast, anionting made you rubb my pant abi?" She held the collar of his shirt.

"What are you accusing me of? Was i myself? I was being controlled by a force of attraction!"

Philomena looked at him in anger. "If you ever come closer to me...i will kill you." She left him.

"If murder is a crime, I'm ready to be your victim!" Udoh screamed after her.

"If you don disgrace your self and family finish, do make we commot!" Harry said.

°•°•°•°•
Crime reports littered the dinning table as Inspector Timi skimmed through them, jotting down some points into a notepad application on his device.
He almost jumped off his skin as the door was opened with force.
He sighed tiredly as he spotted Lydia standing by the door.

"When last did you ask the price of rambo insecticides? My friend will you close that door now!" He ordered.

Lydia stared at him in contempt and reluctantly shut the door.

"And let me remind you, knock before..."

"Shurrup you irresponsible zebra!" Lydia screamed.

"I wonder why you are not in the asylum...truly many are mad but few are roaming!" He sat down and continued what he was doing.

"Timi, you are mean! You can't even call and ask of me and the babies..."

SILENCE

"You're heartless, is this how you'll treat me when we get married?"

"You're a fool to reason such statement!" Timi spat out.

"What have i done to you, is it my fault that i got pregnant?"

"No, it is my fault!" Timi replied.

"When are you coming to see my parents?"

Timi gave a brief laugh. "You really think that pregnancy is a ticket to marriage?"

Lydia flung her back and got up. "I asked you a question..."

"Humility, Humility" He got up and moved towards Lydia. "Sit down, be humble!"

"Humble? So that you can treat me like thrash!"

"I don't rear mad people in here...speak to me like a sensible somebody"

"You are the one that is mad!"

"Here she goes again..."

"Timi, my kids will never be fatherless...and i will never be a baby mama...stick that into your skull.."

"You lie...don't let the words of John the Baptist get into your head...the kingdom of Timi suffereth not violence and the violent can never take it by force.."

Lydia in fury dished out her hand but Timi grabbed it midair.

"Don't let me go against my principles..."

"Timi..you're a beast, you got me pregnant and you want to abandon me..." She screamed loud. "It will never be well with your family..you wretched womanizer"

"I'll need to place you on arrest or maybe get a restraining order from the court..."

"You want to arrest the mother of your children..."
Without warning, She pounced on Timi biting and tearing his clothes with her nails.

"God please forgive me cuz I'm gonna beat this witch like mad..."
He grabbed her hair and hands and with the speed of light flung her on the ground...Lydia screamed in pains and got up.
She clenched her fist and rushed towards him.
He made to grab her hair but Lydia grabbed his wrist and twisted.
Timi groaned in anger, he was suprised at her strength.

"You'll end up in the hospital...this i swear!" He threw a punch with his free hand but Lydia ducked below and sent a knee to his groin.
Like the female WWE wrestler Shalotte, she gave him a sharp uppercut and a 360 degree kick to his forehead. Timi fell to the ground with a mighty thud crashing the table to pieces.
He looked at Lydia in shock and tried to standup but couldn't .
Lydia hair covered her face giving her the complete look of a female devil.
She tore her clothes off her skin leaving only a bra top on.

"I dedicated my life watching wrestling and fantasy movies..i trained with the sword...but for the past years i buried that skills but you have resurrected it in me..." She wiped her bloody nose.

"You are a witch...and I'll treat you like one!" He pressed two palms on the ground and made a flip, he planted his two feet on her stomach and She cried loud in pains as her back landed on the ground.
Timi grabbed her by the head and slammed her side on a pillar, his eyes was blood shot.
He grabbed Lydia again but she wriggled free from his grip and fell to the ground clutching her stomach.
He bent again to grab her and his nose met her knee.
He recoiled back in sharp pains as he screamed the building down.

Neighbours began banging the door.

He screamed in rage and rushed towards Lydia but was stopped by a sharp kick to his groin, an uppercut followed and another knee blow to his nose and he passed out.
Lydia leaned on the wall weakly as she felt dizzy.
The neighbours were able to gain entrance.
Their eyes popped out in horror as they saw blood stains everywhere.
One of them rushed to Timi.

"My son, my son!" He shook Timi.
"Can someone explain what happened here?"

They all faced Lydia.
"What happened?"

Lydia whimpered in pains. "He tried to kill me.."


Tbc....

Kentuforchrist:
FTC nice update John ......lemme Goan read restless at youngicee

....thanks

Episode 18
Vibration.

Harry and his friends marched into the school compound.

"Guys my mirriam's mother na she devil!" James said.

"How? You deh call your inlaw devil?" Harry asked.

"Na true talk ooo. If you see wetin that woman do yesterday" Okon affirmed.

"I don deh regret why i go marry igbo woman!" James added in regret.

"Abi you no deh take advice!" Peter added.

"Presido! Presido!! Presido!!!" Chants and hails filled the air.
Harry lifted his hands in acknowledgement.

Soon they were sitted in the classroom awaiting lectures.

An average lady, heavily endowed with the much needed 'particulars' marched into the class.
She was facially pretty with a killer hips and smooth legs.

The class held their breath as they admired the new student.
As she catwalked, her bums made a kind of resonance as they shook.

"Omoh feel the vibration!!!" Someone screamed from the rear and some laughed.
Harry tapped the hypnotised Udoh. "Udoh! Udoh!!"

"Wetin?" Udoh was practically lost.

"No be Philomena be dat?" Harry asked.

"Na so i see am oo" Udoh replied.

"Wetin she deh do for here?" Harry asked a rather senseless question.

"I no know ooo" Udoh replied.

"That means you gast show working!" Harry smiled.

"Which kind working be that?"

"Good morning all!" Mr. Akpabio the geography teacher marched into the class.

The class replied.

The teacher climbed the podium and observed the class for a while, his eyes fell on the new lady.
"High pretty, have i seen this face before?"

Philomena nodded in negative.

"Introduce yourself! Define yourself!! Who are you? What are you?" People from the back screamed.

She stood up reluctantly. "I am Philomena Moses. I attended Royal evening education but i was transferred here to continue!" She said with a bit of shyness.

Harry stood up. "You are welcometh to this humble institution. I am the president and i hope with a measure of acrizical lobatan that you enjoy your delectablanisaristic moment here!" He bowed and sat.

"Mr. Harry" The teacher called.

"My lord!" He replied.

"I wonder where you get your words from?"

"Ohh i relate with wole soyinka, i eat and dine with Chinua Achebe!! I'm in.love with my cosmopolitan dictionary. I manufacture words as an english scientist!" That was Harry again.

"Is alright! Today we'll be discussing about ECOWAS. Who knows the meaning of ECOWAS?" The teacher asked.

The whole class was silent but Udoh saw this as an opportunity to have an impression on Philomena, the lady he had a crush on.

"No one has a slightest idea?"

"My lord!" Udoh raised his hands.

"I'm not your lord!" He said. "So speak!"

Udoh cleared his throat. "Egg-co-was is a hebrew word. It is a combination of fowl egg and cowas. That is to say it requires a...a..a...geography terminology to...to...combine. so since egg is inside, i will gladly say that Egg-co-was is the combination of agric and geography!" Udoh concluded.

Harry clapped and other followed suit.

"All of you that clap are olodo!" The teacher said.
"Sir we are encouraging his ministry of foolishness!" Someone screamed from the back.

Udoh not wanting to go down without a fight said "Ok sir, minister unto we, what the meaning of Egg-co-was! Shall i understand!"

"You old man! What do you want to understand?" The teacher said.

"Sir, textbooks are different. The one i am using is 1999 constitution" That was Udoh again.

"ECOWAS simply means economic community of west african states!"

"Is a lie!" Udoh sprang up. "I utterly disagreement with that abbreviation. Economic and community cannot go together, there's a mix up somewhere!"

"Udoh! I can walk.you out of my class now" The teacher was visibly angry.

"I'm speaking my mind!" He sat.

"Let's continue! The ECOWAS was created on 28th May 1975 in Lagos, and now consist of fifteen member countries. Its mission is to promote cooperation and integration by improving standard of people. Like i said earlier, the ECOWAS is made up of fifteen countries. Who can mention them?"

Philomena raised her hands. "Ghana!"

"Yea!" The teacher nodded. "Clap her"

The class gave a resounding ovation.

"I just said a clap!"

"Sir, a clap is it singular or plural!" Someone asked from the rear.

"Who again can try?"

Another lady raised her hand. "Sierra leone!"

"Yea..a clap!" He scrutinized the class. "Am i only teaching ladies, men say something!"

Udoh raised his hands up.

"Yes you!"

"Sir, what was the question?" Udoh asked.

The teacher nodded his head in pity. "Where were you, when i asked the question?"

"I were where!" Udoh replied.

"You were what?"

"I said i where were!"

"God of Hezekiah! The foolishness of men has ascended to your throne. Philomena, please tell that man the question!"

She stood up and faced Udoh, their eyes met. Her face immediately contorted in rage.

Udoh tried to change his face and he made series of attempt to dilate his pupil to form a love shape.

"Mention one country in ECOWAS!" Philomena said.

In order to impress the lady, he said "I won't mention one, I'll mention two"

"Go ahead then!" The teacher said.

"Britain and North korea!" Udoh replied.

The whole class bursted out in laughter.

Udoh just stared round in confusion.

"Is north korea in west africa?" The teacher screamed.

"Ooohhh! You mean west african countries...but you said ECOWAS...you're confusing me!"

"Will you sit down!" The teacher flared. "The countries are Mali, Nigeria, Togo, Cote D' ivoire....who can tell me the currency used in Mali?"

SILENCE!!!

"No one?"

Udoh stood up. "Euro Dollars!"

"You this man, are you crazy?"

"Sir, my mum did crayfish business in Mali, they used euro dollars at that time when the stock exchange was competitive..maybe they have changed because my mum appealed to UNICEF government for it to be changed!" Udoh rapped.

The teacher looked at him in anger then, pity and nodded.

"So who can tell me a few things about Togo?" The teacher asked.

SILENCE!!!

"Who was the past president of Togo?"

The word past president sounded like past participle in Udoh's ears.
Without warning, he stood up.

"Sir, the past participle of To-go is To-went or To- gone.
If i say, i travell to Togo,
past tense will be: I travelled to Towent. while past participle will be: I travelled to To-gone!"

The class held her breath as they deliberated on the weight of Udoh's stupidity and gross foolishness.

"Eh no ko better for the person weh do you this kind thing?" The teacher folded his hands and watched Udoh in pity.

"But you asked for past participle of Togo na?" Udoh tried to argue.

Noone could laugh at his condition, all they felt was pity, downright and unmitigated pity


°•°•°•°•°•°
Vera mummured in disgust as she spotted her husband on the floor snoring his life out.
The room smelt of booze and something like excreta.
Smart laid carelessly and spread his legs apart.

He returned home after three days of excessive clubbing-gay clubbing.
He couldn't even walk erect with legs closed. That was as a result of the numerous bones he anally received.

It was dusk and Smart never showed any sign of waking up.
Vera on her part couldn't bear the odour emanating from him.

She packed her few clothes and moved to the next room.
For days now, she had been in communion with her ex spirit and she was getting used to it and even enjoying his presence around her.
Taiwo even taught her how to summon his spirit.

Vera lit a candle and moved towards the mirror, she closed her eyes and thought about him.
She let the wax pour on her hand then she rubbed it on the mirror.

"Taiwo!" She called with her eyes closed. Her thoughts still on him.

"Taiwo!" She called again.

A breeze blew in the room, scattering things and the candle went off.

"V" a voice called.

Vera froze in fear.

"Is me Taiwo!"

She breathed in relief. "Why must you have to do that?" She found the bed and sat.

"Do what?"

She felt his presence on the bed. "Why must you breeze round and turn off the candle leaving everywhere in utter darkness before appearing!"

"I am partly a creature of your imagination, you won't be able to fellowship with me in light. The darkness is an important ingredient for our fellowship!"

"Is just that the darkness scares me!" Vera shrugged.

"With time, you'll get used to us" Taiwo replied. "What of your husband?"

Vera just sighed. "I don't really understand the fool. He left this house two days ago, accus..."

"Is okay!"

Vera felt a slight breeze on her top.

"I wish i could touch you!"

Vera chuckled. "I still feel you!"

"You feel my effects, not myself!"

"So what's the difference?"

"All stray spirit are elements of the wind, we are lighter than humans. So every single earthly object weighs heavily than us. You only feel the wind not me in spirit!"

"Your theory is wash!!!" She giggled.

"I want to ask a favour from you"

"Yea, go on!" Vera urged.

"Can i use your husband's covering for a while?"

"Huh?"

"I mean i miss you, i just wanna feel you!"

Vera was getting more confused. "How does that got to do with my husband?"

"Everything...i can possess him for a while!"

"Noooo, you want to kill him...i disagree"

"Vera!" The voice was getting ferocious. "Don't you love me?"

"You are a spirit...infact you're dead. How can i love a dead man!"

"Then, you don't love me...i risked everything to be with you!"

"Sorrry, the thing is I'm scared that you might wish to hurt Smart!"

"But he's hurting you!"

"He can do what he likes to me...I'm his wife!" Vera stood up.
She felt a soft breeze by her side.

"Please i want to feel you in flesh!"

"You wish to fvuck me?" Vera turned towards the direction of the breeze.

"I..."

"Then, why are you trying to UnCloth me!" She was getting agitated.

"I'm not trying..."

"The breeze is trying to rip off my gown...my bra straps are weakening because of the continous wind on it...i can never lay with you!"

"Sorry....i can't help it...i don't really kn..."

"I don't want you here again!" Vera said.

"That's what you say everytime, but you end up summoning me!"

"Then this should be the last..." She moved to the door.

"Just know that i love you!"

The impact of the breeze was gone and the candle came on again.

°•°•°•°•°•
Timi relaxed on a sofa in a bar as he sipped his can of stout.
He glanced at his wristwatch at intervals and nodded his head to the beyounce tracks booming through the speakers.

He spotted who he waited for and raised his hand signalling her to come over.

Bernice walked majestically to the table and revealed her white dentition in a cool smile.
Timi got up and perked her.
The sofa was a two sitter sofa so Bernice sat beside him.

"What will you love to take?" Timi asked.

"Just malt!" She replied.

"Barman....a plate of peppersoup and a bottle of malt!" Timi ordered the bar man.

"So how are you? You're glowing...pregnancy looks good on you" He complimented.

Bernice giggled shyly. "Thanks"

"Ehmm! How are your parents...ohhh!" He dragged a table closer as the bar man placed the tray of hot steaming chicken peppersoup and a can of ice-chilled malt.

Bernice face turned white as the scent hit her, she got up and rushed towards the exit and vomitted into a sink.
She oned the tap and wiped the sink clean and moved weakly towards the table.

Timi was still shocked. "Are you okay?"

"Yea!"

"Ohhh!" He finally got it. "The soup got you nauseous! I will eat it!"
He dragged the chair closer to himself and attacked the meal.

Bernice opened the can malt and gulped everything down and breathed.

"Dad is growing impatient!"

"Yea! I'm ..."

"He really wants to set his eyes on you...not that he's after the marriage rites. He just want to make sure his grand child isn't a bastard!"

"I'm trying to set things in order...click some buttons. But i spoke to him on phone and i told him I'll visit this month end!"

"Ok, please don't disappoint" Bernice said.

"Ehmmm" he pulled out a pink case from his breast pocket.
He went on a knee. "Marry me Bernice and together let's build our world!"

Bernice squealed like a happy puppy and stucked her finger forward.
He inserted the ring.

"You haven't said something!" Timi smiled.

"Yes! Yes!! I'll marry you..I'll marry you!" She couldn't control her excite ment.
Timi got up and hugged her.

His phone call distracted the moment.
He looked at the screen, the caller was Lydia.

"Witch! Witch!! Witch!!!" He cursed under his breath. He swiped the green icon.

Lydia: My parents knows I'm pregnant and i told them you wish to deny it. If you love your life, come meet my Dad and do the necessary things but if you dont..then you will know that some forces are invisible but their impacts are felt.

The call was disconnected.

"What is it?" She noticed the sudden mood change.

"I'm dead!" Timi gasped.

"What?"

"I said I'm dead in joy!" His brain messed up big time.

Bernice knew something was amiss, the caller just changed the mood.

Tbc.....

mhizv:
please update

Soon...

Kentuforchrist:
John update oo

I'm working on it...

Kentuforchrist:
feed me more bro

more on the way....

tahir01:
James go hear am from him inlaws.

Much love...

Adeola25:
Officer Timi is the real HRH. I like the way Miriam's mum dey pepper James. Thanks for the update Op

Much love....

Teedah:
Happy belated birthday noble writer. May all your dreams come true. And may every writer's block be overcome on time.

Much love bro...

Brainiac12:
Happy birthday to noble Snoop Dogg says more Igbo to you

Thanks bro...

Episode 17

Inlaw!!!

James flagged a taxi infront of his compound.
"I deh go AKTC park!" James said.

"Enter, you carry #200?" The taxi driver said.

"For wetin? I deh go lagos? If you no collect #100..."

"Enter, enter!" The driver cut in.

James entered the cab and the driver sped off.

Ten minutes later, he alighted at the park. He searched the park with his eyes. He had come to get his mother inlaw.

Mummy Chinaza, Mirriam mother received a call earlier about Mirriam's birth.
So she travelled down from Ebonyi to Akwaibom state courtesy of James.
She mummured in anger, she had waited at the park close to an hour.
Her phone rang.

Chinaza: Hello, why you deh delay me na.

James: Calm down ma.

Chinaza: shuttup! No be ya mates deh play flight for their mummy inlaw.
She never failed to show her displeasure towards James.

James: Mummy, I'm in the park..just come outside let me see you.

Chinaza: Nansense!

James sighed, he never wanted any association with his wicked inlaws but he couldn't deny a mother from taking care of her grand child.

He spotted the old woman with a screwed up face staring at him in disgust and anger.
Apparently, she had seen him first.

"Mummy! Mummy!!" James hailed. "I been think say you no ko fit make the journey this week!"

"Oya if you don finish, commot me for here now!" She walked past James.
He breathed in confusion.
Why did his inlaws treat him like thrash?
Maybe he wasn't rich!
Maybe he wasn't from their tribe!

°•°•°•°•°•
Timi drew in a thick drag of his moulded weed.
He was sitted with his friend, a comrade in the police force.
Burna boy album vibrated in the sitting room.
Timi grabbed a jumbo sized weed, pressed it into a rizzler and smoothened it with saliva.

"Femi!" Timi called as he took a deep drag.

"Brotherly!" Femi returned the favour, he took a deep drag and sighed deeply.

"Let's reason some inspiration!" Timi said, his eyes were closed.

Weed and Burnaboy's album was a perfect combination for a reasonable inspirational discussion.

"I'm bleeped up!" Timi smiled. "There is a power plant in my head!" He pointed to his head.

Femi smiled.

"I bleeped two ladies and now the both two are pregnant! What a fiok!!"

Femi nodded. "To who much is given, much is expected!" He took another drag.

"You mean i was given too much sperm cells?" Timi asked.

"Ask your creator, he is with us!" Femi replied.

"I'm confused!" Timi said.

"How can you be confused when you are sniffing in the spirit of King Solomon!"

"Two ladies are pregnant for me, one is carrying triplet, one is carrying one plet!" Timi took in a drag and kicked the air.

"What is your spirit telling you?" Femi grabbed another weed from the tray, his eyes were blood shot.

"My spirit tells me to run, to run faraway from this world!"

"This world is evil!" Femi affirmed as he rolled the rizzler.

"Who made it evil?" Timi asked.

"Us, people like us. Not even us, people like you!" Femi pointed.

"Why me?"

"You were fucking two ladies without raincoat, You swam so comfortably and lubricated them with your fuel!"

"I wore raincoat!" Timi cut in.

"Then why are they carrying children?" Femi asked.

Timi nodded. "Of a truth, the world is evil!"

"You're a fool!" Femi spat.

"Yes i am!"

"You're a donkey!"

"Yes i am!"

"You are a man!"

"Yes i am!" Timi was now seeing stars in his sitting room.

"You love them?"

"Who?"

"The two ladies!"

"I love one and i lover one!" Timi replied.

"So you love one and lover the other?" Femi took a drag.

"Yes!" Timi nodded.

"Marry who?" Femi asked.

"You say?" Timi asked.

"I said, who will i marry?" Femi screamed.

"I marry Bernice, she is so calm and authentic!" Timi saw Bernice standing nude before him. "Ohh! She is here!"

"Who?" Femi asked.

"The lady i love...come to Daddy!" Timi beckoned at Bernice.
He saw her movs towards the door.
"My love, where are you going?"
He got up and rushed towards her but stumbled on the table and fell down.

"You fall?" Femi asked.

"Nooo, i am floating!" Timi struggled to stand. He saw Bernice twerking before him.
He grabbed her buttocks.

"Brotherly, why are you romancing the pillar?" Femi asked.

Timi only nodded and smiled. He kept on romancing the pillar which he saw as Bernice.

"Timi"
He heard a voice that sounded like Lydia. He turned and spotted Lydia with a knife.

"Help me!" Timi screamed.

"What is it?" Femi asked.

"The one i lover is twerking for me, the one i love is with a knife!" Timi said.

"A knife, dispossess her and take your possession!" Femi replied.

Timi stood up and whispered to the pillar. "Bernice, wait for me!"

"Where are you going to?" The pillar asked.

"Bernice you ask much questions!" He clenched his fist and moved towards the dinning.
"Lydia, i don't want you, are you daft! Do you know that i can get you arrested for pinning me down with triplet. I donated two litres of fuel...how did it manage to conceive triplet. Go and share the triplet to the three wise men that gave you gold, myrhh and frankinscence!" Timi said.

"Wharris dat?" Femi asked.

"Lydia, she is here!!" Timi replied.

"Do you need some privacy?" Femi asked.

"I don't think so...but I'm thinking so!" Timi replied.

Femi got up with his jumbo size wrap and staggered round the sitting room.
"Timi, where are you?"

"You mean me?" Timi asked.

"Show yourself, i can't see you...or are you in heaven cuz all i see is Burnaboy and white smoke!" Femi knelt down.

"Here am i...send me!" Timi fell to the ground.

The substance they inhaled messed them up big time.

"Timi, where ever where you are, i want you to take a right decision! You are a man..don't let two women damage your destiny. Marry one of the both two women...where are my words? The are flying out of my mouth!" Femi stared in horror at the smoke that emanated from his mouth.
"Timi, where is my voice?" Femi tried to catch the smoke.

Timi was in his knees, proposing to the dinning table. "Lydia,i am not a bad person, I'll give you the needed concentration. I want you to be my baby mama. Think about it...but you'll do me a favour, you'll share the three babies in your womb to the three men that fvucked you.
Bernice, marry me!
Will you?"

"Angel Burnaboy, where is my voice..why is smoke coming out of my mouth..why am i smoking? It will not be better for the people that brought smoking into the world!" Femi said in tears.

"Femi, come and bless my union!"

"Tell Burnaboy to bless it for you, i can't find my voice!" Femi replied.

"I don't trust Burnaboy, he'll steal my babes and my kids and run to heaven gate!" Timi replied.

"Then help me find my voice!" Femi added desperately.

"Where was the last place you kept it?"

"I don't know!" Femi started sobbing.

There was power outage.

"No, Burnaboy don't leave the sound system! Give me my voice!" Femi screamed. "Timi, Nepa has taken light and Burnaboy is leaving with my voice!"

"Bro, we'll track him down!!! I'm sure!!!" Timi said.

Femi began to sob and with time it escalated to tears.

"Bro, weeping may endure for the night but Joy comes in the morning!" Timi quoted and rested his head on the wall and slept off.

"I don't need Joy, I'm still dating Anita!! I can't cheat on her!" Femi said. He saw black smoke hovering round his face. He tried to stand up but his brain switched off.

°•°•°•°•°•
James and his mother inlaw alighted from the vehicle.
Mrs. Chinaza looked round the environment in contempt.

"I thought you said you owned a duplex?"

James jerked in shock and turned towards his mother inlaw. Her intonation and diction suprised him.

"Ehmm..it is still under renovation" He scratched his head.

"So you deh leave for this dirty environment. See dirty everywhere!" Her face was screwed up in disgust. "You sure say you never catch disease for this kind environment? You get mind marry my daughter on scholarship. That one never do, you come put her for this kind environmeny, that one never do, you put am belle for this kind environment! You wan die?"

James kept silence and retrieved her luggages from the cab man.

"James the tear rubber father!" Okon hailed.

"Bro i deh ooo!" James replied in low spirit.

"Mama de mama!" Okon hailed as he recognised Mirriam's mother.

"Na now i sabi say akwaibom people no sabi respect!"

Okon flinched.

"Na me you deh call that kind botanical name?" Mrs. Chinaza flared. "You deh call me like say you deh call your sugar mummy!"

"I'm sorry ma...really, really sorry!" Okon bowed and left. He turned and gave James a 'you don enter one chance' look.

James dragged the luggages and led the way.
They entered into a dark corridor.

"Ahh why this corridor dark like this, i no deh like dark place..if you be satan weh like darkness.."

James knocked at the door and it was unlocked from inside.

"Mammi!" Mirriam squealed and hugged her mother.

"Ooh! My daughter, where my pikin? Why you deh sweat?" Mrs. Chinaza threw different set of questions.

James decided to escape.

"Where you deh go? You never even show me wey i ko sleep!" Mrs. Chinaza said.
James scatched his head.

"My boy" Mrs. Chinaza held the cute baby. "You resemble my husband, Ebube chukwu!" She made a funny dance step.
She examined the room for a while.
"Na only one room una deh stay?"

"Yes...for the mean time!" Mirriam said.

"Where the baby ko sleep?"

James breathed, his head was spinning.

"Here!" Mirriam pointed.

"Chineke mooo! Na bed be this? This foam were look like tyre weh don burn. Ooooh Mirriam, you wan make bedbugs chop my pikin body?" Mrs. Chinaza exclaimed.

Mirriam was weak.

"Why this room hot like this, i no deh hell fire ooo! See as my pikin deh sweat! Una no get nepa?"

"Ehmmm!" James tried to speak.

"On generator na, fan no even deh this una room sef!" Mrs. Chinaza sat on a three legged stool.
Before Mirriam could say something, the chair lost balance and Mrs. Chinaza fell to the ground. James reflex was sharp as he caught the baby midair.

"Mum sorry,mum sorry!" Mirriam and James rushed to get her up.
Inwardly, James was happy.

"Ohh God why!" Mrs. Chinaza sobbed. "No be my mates pikin deh live for flat? No be my mates pikin deh get executive chair for parlour? Una come carry stool weh get three legs keep make i siddon. You wan make i break my waist? You ko fit afford waist surgery, you wan make i die live my husband?" Mrs. Chinaza kept on lamenting.

"Mum sorry, it wasn't intentional!" Mirriam kept pleading.

"Ok, abi it was international bah?" Mrs. Chinaza sat on the mattress.
"This una mattress deh pain me for nyansh ooo. Pins deh inside?"

James gave Mirriam the baby and raced out of the room.

"Una deh drink po-ver-tea for here!" She lamented.

"Mum is okay!"

"See wetin your papa warn you. You sabi Chinelo, that ya friend. Her husband get the biggest house for Onitsha. I been tell you make you marry igbo man, you no gree. See as you slim like dried fish...see una room like prison custody!"

Mirriam lowered herself to the ground.

"Hunger don deh waya this pekin, you get milk for that ya breast!"

Mirriam collected the baby and breastfed him.

Mrs. Chinaza grabbed a handfan and began to fan herself.

"I don deh tired! Where my room, i wan commot my clothes!"

"This is the only room we have!" Mirriam said.

"You mean say i ko follow una sleep for this den!"

Mirriam sighed.

"My daughter! Come back to the village. Your suffering deh smell!"

"Mum, it is okay. I'm not complaining!"

"How you ko take complain...the boy don jazz you!" She took off her clothes and tied a wrapper.
"I wan bathe!"

"Ok, let me rock the baby to sleep, I'll then take you to the bathroom!"

"No disturb yaself..weh that your husband? The boy no deh help you?"

"Your incessant complaint is scaring him away!"

James unlocked the door and entered with a mat and a food pack.
"Mum, you don baff?"

"Why you deh ask, i deh smell?"

"No, i just wan know incase!"

"Incase wetin?"

"I bought achi soup and akpu!" James dropped the food on the table.

"Una no deh cook for house bah? Naso una deh buy resturant food?"

"No mum, the thing is..." Mirriam tried to explain.

"I resemble person weh deh chop akpu? na indomie and fried egg i wan chop!" Mrs. Chinaza said.

tbc...

mhizv:
Lydia and Bernice! Can't wait

buckle your seat belt...

Adeola25:
Congrats to James. Bernice's mum is not serious oo, so Yoruba people dey shit for bed, lol.Thanks for the update OP

Thanks for being there for me...

Episode 16

New Born!



"Push!" The nurse kept on screaming.

Mirriam was weak, she sipped the glucose like her life depended on it. Really her life depended on it.

"I won't get pregnant again...James has killed me" Mirriam kept on lamenting.
The lamentation was a usual cliche to the pregnant women during labour. The nurses and midwives were used to it.

"You're getting it...the head is almost popping out!"

"Ahhhhh" Mirriam heaved and pushed with all her strength.
She felt a thousand needles were being pierced inside her.

"Where is James?" Mirriam asked.

The nurses looked at each other. "Who is James...sister don't complicate things for yourself!"

"Tell him that I'm dying...i want to piss!" She screamed.

"Ma...push!!!!"

Mirriam screamed with all her strength.

"We need to get the gynaecologist!" The head nurse said and examined Mirriam who was gasping for air.

A nurse rushed out of the labour room and returned with a short dark man who wore a lab coat.

"Doctor, the baby is too fat...if we continue with the process...she might die!" The head nurse said.

"Let's try for the last time, has her husband been contacted?" The Doctor examined Mirriam.

"Yea!"

"We'll need him to sign the necessary paper works for C.S" The Doctor said.

"I don't want to be operated on!" Mirriam screamed.

The nurse stared at each other, amazed by her strength.

"A pair of forceps!" The Doctor screamed. "We need to stop the flow of blood and...she need to be oxygenated!" The Doctor said.

And the nurses proceeded to set the equipment in place.

°•°•°•°•°•
Bernice retrieved a plate of frozen soup from the kitchen, she warmed it and her mother stirred the pot of fufu on the fire.

"So, tell me about this your guy!" Her mum said.

Bernice smiled. Her mother was a proffesional 'gister'.
"Mum i thought i told you everything!"

Her mother smiled. "I'm so overjoyed! my baby girl is getting married!"

"Yea!"

"But i don't like military men!" Her mum added thoughtfully.

"Why?"

"They love women!"

"Ahhh! Who doesn't like women?"

"They jump from one woman to another!"

"Ahh! my Timi is not like that" Bernice put off the cooker. "He will make a good husband!"

"I am somehow having some fears about....you said he's from yoruba?"

"Yea!"

"Yoruba? The use to shit in the house!"

"This woman eh!"

"I'm serious! Yoruba normally shit on the bed"

"Mum, stop it!"

"What if he dies in the battle field!"

"Back to sender!" Bernice shrugged.

"Back to me abi?"

"No mum...you're pessimistic. Yoruba people are good people!"

"How many of their food can you cook?"

"Uhmmm" Bernice thought for a while. "Non!"

Her mother nodded her head.

"Mum, the guy eats our food! You and dad shouldn't worry, when you guys see him..you'll love him!" Bernice left the kitchen.
The scent from the soup made her nauseous.
She heard a bang at the gate.

"Bernice!" Her Dad called from the sitting room. "Check the gate, someone is knocking"

Bernice strolled lazily to the gate, her stomach churned and she rushed towards the garden and vomitted.
She wiped her mouth with the hem of her garment.
The knock was heard again.
Bernice strolled to the gate and unlocked it, she was suprise to see her step sister at the gate.

"Good day sis!" Bernice greeted, she observed her sister. She looked pale but a bit plumby and fleshy.

"How are you?" Lydia asked.

"Whoah! Today is a good day" Bernice smiled. "I'm fine...where have you been?"

"I travelled! Is Dad in?" Lydia stepped into the compound.

"Yea!" Bernice closed the gate.

Both of them moved into the house.

Lydia spotted her Dad and step mum eating in the dinning.

"Good morning Dad, Good morning mmmm...mum!" She went on her knees.

"Ly! Where have you been...the whole family have been worried!" Her Dad said with concern.

"I'm very sorry for the attitude i.."

"That's in the past!" Her Dad waved and ordered her to stand.

Her stepmum looked in anger and disgust.

"Dad i...am...pr.."

"Ly what is it?" Her Dad asked.

She swallowed a lump from her throat. "I'm getting married!"

Everyone gasped in suprise.

"No wonder! So you figured out that you'll need your father's blessings that's why you came to ask for forgiveness!" Her stepmother sighed in disgust.

"Its okay!" The man hushed.

"What is okay? Tell me!" She got up. "Your good for nothing daughter called me a LovePeddler, beat me!"

"I'm sorry...i thought we settled that problem!" Her husband tried to calm her down.

"Don't forget the law of karma...you're getting married huh? You'll have kids even step kids...the way you treated me, some other persons will do same to you. Fool!" She got up and left the dinning.
Bernice followed suit leaving only Lydia and her Father.
They just stared at each other in silence.

°•°•°•°•°•°
James rushed into the hospital reception.
He had received a call concerning his wife's plight.
He moved from one nurse to the other asking about his wife's condition.

After what seemed like eternity, the Doctor emerged from a corridor sweating.

"Doctor..." James rushed and met him. "I am Mr. James, husband to Mrs Mirriam!" James said in quick breath.

"Ohh! Congrats!! Your wife just delivered a baby boy!"

James screamed, jumped up and made a funny dance step.

"Can i see her?" James asked.

"Yea!" The Doctor smiled.

°•°•°•°•°•°•
"Taiwo!" Vera called in fear, she still felt dizzy.

"Sorry to scare you! It wasn't my intention, I'm just suprised you could see me!" Taiwo said and moved to touch her but couldn't as his hands passed through her.

"I would do anything to hold you again!" Taiwo knelt before her.

"Am i dead?" Vera asked still confused.

"Na!"

"Where is my husband?"

"He is somewhere, getting his ass torn!" Taiwo smiled. "You really tried to put on with that man!"

"I bind you!" Vera screamed. "In the name of Jesus, i rebuke you...i command you to leave this instant!" Vera screamed in horror.

Taiwo stood back in shock.

"I don't need you...i don't want you!" Vera was breathing hard.

"Vera..is me! Taiwo!"

"Goooo!" Vera screamed.

The door was unlocked.
Taiwo vanished into the air.
Smart moved in to see Vera looking weird.
"Are you okay?" Smart moved towards Vera. "Why is this room in a mess!" Smart dropped the pack on the table.

Vera stood up and dusted her clothes.
Smart examined her crtically.

"What took you so long!" Vera asked.

"Why is this room like this, why are you sweating?" He examined her again but this time, with suspicion.

"This over five hours now since you left!" Vera looked at the wall clock.

"Something is wrong with you...you were fvucking someone huh?" Smart began searching the room.

Vera watched him in amusement.

"I need to see a pastor...a ghost visited me!"

"You're a big idiot...what ghost? Where is the ghost?" Smart charged at her and dragged her hand. "If you don't show me where you're hiding that man...i promise you..you'll regret!"

Vera wriggled out of his grip. "Smart are you for real? I barely survived your assault! And know you're accusing me of bleeping another man. Where is your conscience?" Vera was loosing it. "You left me to buy food...for over....ahhhhgh" She cried as Smart sent a straight punch to her nose.
She fell down and sobbed.

"I think your mum didn't teach you manners of speaking!" Smart surged forward.

Vera felt a bit relieved as she felt a slight breeze brushing her nose.

"Idiot!" Smart left the house.

"Vicky was right!"
Vera heard a voice.

"That guy carries a very dark aura...he might be your undoing!"

Vera gasped. "He is my husband!" She found herself communicating with the spirit. "I love him!"

"Love? What's love?"

Vera felt confused, it seems she was gradually loosing her mind. "Let me be! Let me be!! Let me be!!!"

And there was a black out.


The Story has just begun...

Episode 15

Spirit Husband.

A taxi sped into the compound and stopped.
Smart and Vera alighted from the vehicle. She moved and leaned on a pillar while Smart and the driver removed the luggages.
There was something special about the driver, Smart watched his walking steps and his eyes.
For a while their eyes connected, the driver looked away.
"Your money is four hundred naira" The driver said.

Smart searched his pocket and retrieved a thousand naira note, he handed it to the driver.
Electrifying feelings bolted through Smart as the driver's hand brushed against his own as he took the money.
The driver observed Smart.

"You're handsome!" The driver complimented.

"You look good too!" Smart replied.

"I love your chest" The driver's eyes dimmed in deep admiration.

Smart on his part was delighted, he has found his catch.

"Can we talk some other time...i need to attend to my wife!" Smart said.

The driver gasped in shock and then disappointment. He wasn't a gay.

"Ok!" The driver moved to his car and unlocked.
Smart tapped his butt.

"I need your number!" Smart requested, the driver's stature already left him with an erection.

"Are you gay?" The driver whispered.

"Yea!"

"But you're married" The driver closed the car and surged forward.

"Anything wrong with that baby?" Smart whispered.

Vera sighed loudly, she needed her bed. She moved towards her husband.
"The key!"

"Ohh!" Smart gasped and retrieved the key from his breast pocket.
"I'll join you later"

The driver watched Vera till she disappeared from sight.

"Don't you dare check out my wife!"

"I don't do women...so when can we meet, is long since i had a good Bleep!" The driver tapped his groin.

"Villa guest house...6pm" Smart said and tapped his chest. "Prepare you ass for me!"

"And you too" The driver replied and blew a kiss.

"Careful, the neighbourhood!" Smart warned.

"I don't care...see you this evening...but i do charge!" The driver said.

Smart who wanted moving paused in shock.
"You're a sex worker?"

"Yea, i don't receive for free! Are you a giver?" The Driver asked.

"I give and receive...but its long since i received!" Smart replied.

"Don't worry, till we meet!" The driver entered his car and sped off.

Smart arranged himself to avoid his wife seeing his erection.
He dragged the luggages in.

"What kept you so long!" Vera asked, she laid on a sofa.

"Business ideas!" Smart replied and lowered himself on a sofa. "The man said he could get me a car on hire purchase".

"That's good!" Vera was pleased atleast her husband will do something meaningful with his life.

"But he has to register me in the union!"

"And how much will the registration cost?"

"He said thirty thousand!"

"Hmmm!"

"But the job is legit...this evening I'll be going with him to see the owner of the bus!"

"And how much is this car..or is it a bus?"

"The bus is seven hundred thousand...and I'll be paying fourty thousand every month!" Smart said.

"How big is this bus...fourty k a month? Is it not too expensive?" "He said the bus is a coastal bus...with a hundred seat!"

"Ok...God will help! Just see the bus first..I'll give the registration money next month!" She gasped as she suddenly remembered something. "I hope you called my boss!"

"Yea...I'm hungry!" Smart rubbed his stomach.

"Me too, cook rice na!" Vera said.

"You know i can't cook!" Smart raised his hands.

"Just rice na" Vera pleaded.

"I can't cook!"

"You know i can't cook in this condition...i can barely stand!" Vera pleaded.

"Ok.." He seemed to reconsider a bit. "Give me money, I'll go buy rice from the eatery down the street".
Smart got up from the sofa.

"Check my purse in the room!" Vera said and laid back on the sofa.

Smart moved into the room and changed into another wear and moved out to buy the food.

A soft wind blew in the sitting room, but it ferocity displaced some light items.
It was strange, the AC wasn't on.
She saw a shadow on the wall.
She shivered in fear, the wind suddenly stopped and she couldn't see the shadow again.
She got up from the parlour and went into the room to have her bath.
She felt a presence in the room, but she discarded the thought.
She entered into the bathroom and spent sometime in there.
After her bath, she moved out of the bathroom towards the dressing mirror where she kept her creams on a small case.
Her eyes popped open as she spotted a reflection of a man close to the curtain.
She turned backwards towards the curtain but saw no one.
She turned to the mirror and saw the figure, she turned to the curtain and saw no one.
She turned to the mirror, lo and behold, the man was smiling at her and waving.

"Jesusssssss!" She screamed and woke up with a gasp.

"Smart!" She called and checked the time. It was four hours since her husband left to buy food.

She felt a chill hand rubbing her chest.

She let out a scream and jumped off the sofa.

Standing before was Taiwo.

"Hi Vera!"

She fainted.

°•°•°•°•°•°
Mirriam checked the wall clock, she was late for an event.
She got up from the bed and made for the door when a sharp pain surged through her.
She gasped and held a locker for support.
Her waist was on fire as she felt inner contractions.
She held her waist and tried to move to the bed then her water bag broke.
She knew she was due.
Something was tearing her apart inside.
The pains was unbearable.
She gave a loud scream.

tbc....

Oluwatimi2000:
Happy birthday to you I wish u success in all ur endeavors One love

thanks bro...
i appreciate

Thanks to you all who made me feel special, I'm overly grateful....
God bless you all.
For the ghost readers who couldn't even spare a wish, i don't know what to say.
To my ardent fans and noble literati(s), God bless you all...
DESIRE 2(House on Fire) continues....

Kentuforchrist:
happy birthday bro longlife and prosperity...
abeg next update

I'm grateful...thanks

mhizv:
Happy birthday dear! Wish you many more years

thanks love...

Adeola25:



[Happy birthday to you, long life and prosperity. That means you and Harry were born in the same month.]

thanks very much...

Seunfunmi18:

Happy birthday brotherman. More ink to your pen. More money in your bank account.

Thanks brotherly...

Noble is +1


In hope i stand to sight.

On stands in realms of light
.

With trust and hope i surge forward
.

My eyes staring upward.

Though circumstances may hit hard.

But with faith, it won't leave a shard.

With heavy heart, i retrospect.

But i hope to gain back.

Everything i lost back to back.


For those with Noble heart.

Strives to find the light.

And those with heart of gold.

Fight with the bold
.

A fight to stand out better.

To break the fetters.

That held them bound.

With hopes that their best are found.

With best, the rest would be done.

And with hope, the past would be gone.

In hope, i stand to sight.

The battles i will have to fight.

The grace i will need to sustain
.

The stamina, i will have to maintain.

With momentum, i will run straight
.

Till i reach that golden gate.

Till i stand on success banks.

With trophy on thar success banks!

Though man's generation is evil.

Filled with the tricks of the devil.

My creator's strength will i uphold.

Creating no space for devil's hold.

For my strength is in heaven.

And it soars higher than ravens.

I hope to fly on wings of eagle.

For that strength is my sigil.

And then I'll sing a song of joy.

A joyful mouth, my lips employ.

And my walk to victory begins.

With hope! my watch begins.

My birth today.

Will mark greater days.

In the hall mark of prophecy.

I register my prophecies.

The prophecies that i will win.

Despite river's height i won't sink.

I will stand aloft
.

The hardness will get soft.

My feets on higher grounds.

My feets on greater grounds.

My legacy on the sands of time.

All who go through my life time.

Will agree that no greater man.

Lived like Noble John, the great man!

Adeola25:
Thank God Harry is okay. As for you, Officer Timi, you are in deep shit. Thanks for the update sir... more please

more on the way...

Episode 14

The Unborn Child

♪To my unborn child♪..
♪To my unborn child.. ♪
♪in case I don't make it ♪
♪Just remember daddy loves you♪
♪To my unborn child To my unborn♪
♪Now ever since my birth♪
♪ I've been cursed since I'm born to wild♪
♪ In case I never get to holla at my unborn child♪
♪Many things learned in prison,♪ ♪Blessed and still livin'♪
♪Tryin' to earn every penny that I'm gettin', and reminiscin♪


Tupac Shakur's 'Unborn Child' boomed through the speakers of the car stereo, while Agent Timi drove in deep thought.
The meeting with the pastor had ended in a disaster. Lydia wasn't a lady that could be tamed with words. She walked out off them not even regarding her Pastor.
But the Old man adviced him to keep on praying and hoping that everything turns out good.
There was no way he was going to marry Lydia. The lady could kill him anytime. His thoughts were on Bernice.
He will make out a plan with her.
But what plan?
He naturally enjoyed the thrills of being a bachelor. Clubbing, late nights, free pussies.
He couldn't bear the thought of being enslaved to one lady all the rest of his life.
The road that evening was barely filled with vehicles as dark clouds threatened to open up her package.
He had to get home quickly.
His ringing tone distracted his thoughts.

Timi: Hello Bernice

Bernice: Hello love

Timi: How is it at your end.

Bernice: I'm fine and junior is kicking.

Timi: Who is Junior? And what is he kicking? (He was geniunely confused).

Bernice: Ahhh! Our son na...the reason i called is to inform you that my mum wants to see her son inlaw. She knows that I'm pregnant.

Timi grew stiff all of a sudden, he struggled with the steering wheel as the car went off tracks several times.
He was lucky the traffic wasn't congested.

Timi: What is wrong with you? You couldn't even give me time to reason these things out...

Bernice: Hey are you scared? My parents don't bite...they are anxious to meet you.

Timi: Your parents? i thought it was only your mother?....did you fix a traditional marriage without my knowledge?

Bernice: Are you drunk?

Timi: The way you ladies treat this pregnancy thing as if it is a trophy!
He was pissed.
The call was disconnected.

Lydia's call came in.
He sighed in anger and dropped the phone.

°•°•°•°•°•°•
Harry laid surpine on the hospital bed. After his collapse during the deliverance service, he was rushed to the hospital..

"Cross!" Peter and Udoh yelled in unison as they entered the ward.
Harry couldn't help but smile.

"Look at the cross, hold the cross!! The cross is before you" James cajoled.

"Na thunder ko fire una!" Harry managed to curse.

"Shurrup your stock fish mouth. Everyday you deh call yaself bishop, simple demon you faint...if to say na only faint eh for better but you weewee for your trouser!" Okon said and laughter ensured.

"From now henceforth, your name na cross!" Peter added.

"Na your papa be cross!" Harry fired back.

"Omoh una see wetin happen for church that day?" Udoh got up.

"Wetin?"

"I see everything for sister philomena body!" Udoh said and smiled like someone you won a lottery.

"How you take see?" Harry asked.

"As people been deh fall, i come see how Philo deh vibrate for chair. I come holdam make she no fall, she just hugg me. As she hugg me, i take style massage her booty, i massage am well!" Udoh was practicalizing it.

"You sabi say demon fit commot for person body enter you? Why you come deh romance person weh deh under anionting!" Harry was pissed.

"Ogbeni..the thing sweet die, as the other ushers wan suspect me, naso me follow start my own anionting!"

His friends laughed so hard.

"No wonder, i been even deh suprise as i see how you fall" Harry added amidst laughter.

"My prick follow enter anionting! Eh come deh shake" Udoh sighed. "I take style hold her front cloth deh rub am..one time, one time she just fall down for ground open her legs..mehn as i see her rainbow colour pant my brain switch off...i follow take style fall for ground. As she deh shake, i come put my head inside...the smell just blow my mind!"

The men cheered Udoh.
A voice from the corridor startled them.

Pastor Emmanuel and four other Elders moved into Harry's ward.
The men stood up in acknowledgement.

"How are you?" Pastor Emma asked Harry as he examined him.

"I'm okay..is just a little headache!" Harry sat erect.

"The Lord really used you that night, many people testified!" The Pastor said.

Harry smiled. "Is one of those things!"

"You say?" The Pastor asked.

"I mean the lord has been using me since the days of queen Vashti and Ahab!" Harry replied.

The Pastor chuckled.
"But the thing is..you shouldn't allow fear to deprive you of the benefits of being a vessel...there is no power on earth, under the earth that can be compared unto the most high. He has given us authority to trample over serpent and scorpions and there shall by no means hurt you. So if you're faced with a difficult situation just call the name Jesus!"

"Pastor, na cross Harry sabi no be Jesus!" Okon said.

"Jesus died on the cross...his blood is our reedeming power! So Harry, we have a meeting in church!" The Pastor stood up. "The bills have been taken care of!"

"Thank you Pastor!" Harry said. "Thank you Elders!"

They nodded and left the ward.

"Brothers!!" A tall muscular man entered the ward.
The men recognised him, he was the man with a demon that caused Harry's collapse.
Harry quickly went on the offensive side.
"Who be ya brothers! Who be your mama? Na she born us? Why you deh call us brothers!!" Harry threw himself down.

"Calm down...I'm Ekpeowo by name!" The man came forward.

"Iffu come closer, i ko scatter you!" Harry charged.

"What's up with the attitude! I heard you were in the hospital and..."

"Na who keep me for this hospital...no be you? Why you come attack me for church? Na me give you demon? Look me in the face...na me give you demon? See ya head like bicycle wheel!"
The man was deeply angry.

"Oya apologise!" Udoh said and grabbed a syringe.
"Ohhh your guys wanna fight me right? Do you know i can squeeze you all with my bare hands!" The muscular man folder the cuffs of his shirt.

"Who you be? Undertaker i know, Randy-orton i know, who are you?" Harry was ready for a fight.

"Just commot for this place or we ko kill you, then carry your body ko roast" Peter said.

The muscular man studied the five men.
"I see.." he nodded. "You all are high on drugs and I'll report this to the Pastor!" He threw an envelope at Harry and stomped out of the ward.

Harry scrutinised the envelope.

"No pick am ooo! Na packaged demon deh inside" James said.

Harry bent down and picked it, he opened the envelope and retrieved the content.
His mouth hanged in suprise as he spotted bundles of one thousand naira note..crisp and clear.
The men screamed.
Harry counted fourty thousand naira.

"God bless that demon!" Harry stretched his hands towards the ceiling.

"Make we share am na!" James rubbed his palms excitedly.

"Calm down...first of all, i ko commot tithe and tax bef..."

"Which kind tax" Udoh intercepted. "You deh pay tithe?"

"Listen attentively, this money is my money..the tax is to appreciate government for allowing demons to roam the state. Now the tithe is to appreciate God for instituting a typical bokafarionic besbesis in accordance to klimny besinin!"

"Meaning?" James was pissed.

"Tax na four thousand, tithe na four thousand...thirty two thousand remain!" Harry counted eight thousand out of the money and inserted it in his breast pocket.
"Now this money will be shared according to your age...the bigger the age, the bigger the money!"

"You sabi my age na...december this year ko make me fourty five!" James said.

"Na God ko punish you...infact you ko fast die!" Okon cursed James.

"No be lie ooo, i am thirty seven years!" Peter said.

"Shutup! No be last year you write common entrance!" Udoh attacked Peter.

"Issorite! To avoid confusionistic tendency..i will need all of you to bring ya birth certificate to me!" Harry said.

"Harry you are a bastard!" Okon cursed.

"Oh yes! I concur " Harry nodded.

"Garri, you share this money na!" Okon flared.

"You deh shout give me? Na you deliver the demon? Na you? You sabi the kind battle i face before i pee for trousers? Non of you is entitled to this currency. It is out of trasitional love and acute barimomu that i want to share the money!" Harry was loosing it.

"Harry! I ko shook you with injection oo!" Peter threatened.

"Ohhh! Peter, you wan start again...the other time you cut person ear..Jesus come warn you say make you put your sword for pocket..that he who kills with the sword will die by the sword...you no wan hear...iffu like shook me but be rest assured that you who shook with the injection will die with the injection!" Harry said.

"Harry, i no get birth certifi...."

"No talk that kind thing!" Harry cut James short. "As you no get certificate, how you take born? Who born you? You be animal? That means you're not a certified human being... You be animal...anytime human beings deh talk, no put ya mouth again. The only thing weh you ko do na to enter bush ko deh chop grass like goat!" Harry said.

"My birth certicate deh...?"

"Wetin you talk?" Harry pulled his ears.

"The thing deh village!" Udoh said.

"Which thing?"

"The thing weh you deh talk about!"

"See this fool ooo, the thing? Which thing?"

"Birth certicate, eh deh village!" Udoh said.

"Pronounce am again!" Harry squeezed his face.

"Bed cerifiricate!"

"Oboy! deh don tie ya destiny for apple tree, common birth certificate you no fit pronounce...what are you even doing in life..you don ask yaself that question before?" Harry kept on savaging their lifes.

"Ok, i ko give una three thousand!" Harry smiled.

"Cross! Cross!! We believe you!" James hailed.

"Na me you deh call cross abi? Now gerrout...gerrarahere...use the door!!" Harry charged at James.

"Bishop abeg no vex with your boy!" James pleaded.

"Now kneel" Harry commanded.

Tbc......

I need you guys here
Vm231 Zotty Kentuforchrist Madosky112 Seunfunmi18 Teedah SPARVALOR Jossybab JOSHDIAMOND28 emonis88 binsanni

I get a ban after tagging monikers... let me try again and see...

contd....


"Hey..hey control it! This is the presence of God!!" The Pastor screamed at them.

They both turned shamefully towards the pastor.

"Sister Lydia...so its you" The Pastor recognized her and stared hard at Timi.
"Come to my office!"

°•°•°•°•°•°


Timi and Lydia sat with a straight face as they faced the pastor who counseled.
Their uproar had attracted the attention of the Pastor who was in the vestry.
They were sitted in the office.

"Sister lydia, I'm very disappionted in you...you're to respect yourself and handle whatever feeling bubbling inside of you..to crown it all, you wanted to fight in the house of God!" The pastor hit the table with the back of his palms.

"I'm sorry Daddy!" Lydia apologised.

"And you...young man, you should know how to treat a lady well...i don't have much to say...but you two need to ask God for mercy!" The Pastor faced Timi.
"What is the problem?"

Timi just nodded with a grimace.

The Pastor on sensing his hesitation to speak turned to Lydia.
"Sister ly, wha...."

Lydia started sobbing.

The Pastor grabbed her hands.
"No burden is too heavy that Christ can't bear...as a child of faith, you should trust in..."

"Pastor" Lydia cut in. "I'm pregnant for this man and he wants to denounce it, he wants to abandon me ooo" Lydia was crying real bad.

"Sister it is okay...i don't really understand what you said" He turned to Timi. "Young man, is that true?"

"I'm not sure!" Timi shrugged.

"Will you shattap you bastard!" Lydia screamed.

"Heyy! Vulgar words are not permitted here..Lydia, get a grip on your self!" The Pastor admonished.

"Man of God, have you seen it...she called me bastard...i knew my parents very well, i even showed her pictures of them yet she called me bastard...i won't be suprised if she calls me an orphan or maybe a widow!" Timi said with a grimace.

"Daddy this boy is wicked!" Lydia pointed at Timi.

"Ohhh! So i am a boy abi? Yet you claim i got you pregnant..Pastor you see!"

"Ehmm.." Even the Pastor was confused. "I need to understand this predicament from everyone's piont of view" The Pastor pointed at Lydia to speak.

Lydia sniffed in catarhh and wiped her tears with her brow.
"Sir, i...."

"Man of God you see, at first she called you daddy not it is sir...in my life, I've never met someone as confused as this lady...no wonder her parent named her Lizard...but they now use style to call her Lydia!" Timi said.

The Pastor was shocked.
Timi was loosing it.

"Daddy, that's how he behaves!" Lydia started crying.

"Young man...get yourself together, don't let the devil use you!" The Pastor warned. "Continue" He urged her.

"Daddy, this man is my fiance...we are dating and he got me pregnant...to be sincere, I've never cheated on him..i am carrying his kids in my womb..and instead of him to man up to his responsibility...he is behaving like a kid!"

"I'm no more boy again, I'm now a kid abi...i won't be suprised if you call me a calf!" That was Timi again.

"If not for the love of God and the respect i have for his servant..i would've slapped you!" Lydia breathed in rage.

"Now she wants to slap me for no just cause...i won't be suprise if you kill me!" Timi leaned on the table.

tbc....

Episode 13

Confession

Timi drove aimlessly round the street of Uyo, his life had taken a drastic turn.
He was utterly confused and depressed. How did it happen?
Two ladies...all pregnant.
This was truly nemesis.
At first he thought it was a prank...not until he saw the progesterone test result. He was expecting four kids at a blow...three from the iron lady and one from Bernice.
He could barely think straight, right now he knew he needed the God of his mother.
He spotted a church banner.
"All Christians ministry"
He made a sharp turn without trafficating and almost caused an accident.
He drove on ignoring the curses from the drivers.
His life was already over-cursed.
He drove into the church premises and killed the engine.
He alighted from the car and moved into the church...straight to the altar.
He knelt before the altar and clasp his palms together.

°•°•°•°•°•°•

Smart felt a pang in his heart as he spotted his pale wife on the hospital bed, guilt was burning deep inside him.

"Go meet her, she is okay" The Doctor urged him.

Vera on her part was weak, terribly weak and drained as she recollected the death experience...Smart's assault, the world beyond.

Smart moved with unsteady steps towards her.

"Veraaaa" Her mother called out as she stepped into the ward.

"Mummy" Vera replied weakly.

"How are you my daughter, i almost died...the God i serve will never allow me to bury my children...your senior sis will be coming this evening...i hope you're fine...be strong...satan is a liar!" Vera's mother kept on praying.

Vera casted a bitter glance on her husband.

"My daughter" Vera's mother called.

"Mummy" She replied.

"What happened...look at your body, who did this!"

"Is..."

"Is what...these are stripes created by cane and its fresh...so tell me"

Smart pleaded with his eyes for Vera to conceal the truth.

"Ehmmm...."

"Actually she had a bad dream, which we're consistently praying about it!" Smart chiped in.

His mother inlaw gave him a disgusted look.
"What kind of daft lie is that?"

"The thing is...she woke up one night and told me that someone wiped her in the dream, we prayed about it and to my suprise...to our suprise, we found those wounds on her body!"

Vera was shocked, she never knew her husband was a professional Mr.LIEnus.

"My daughter flogged in the dream...Abasi 'kan idiok nkpo....my daughter, your spiritual life is too poor!"

"We are working on the aspect ma..infact, we've registered in a church" Smart rapped.

"You registered in a church?"

"Yes mum"

"That means you haven't been going to church...my daughter, is this how i trained you?" Vera's mum lamented.

"Actually ma, the first church wasn't functioning...so we had to enroll in another church!"

"What's the name of the church?"

"Ehmm...Christ the king....no...it is ehmm...winners hymnary church!" He stammered.

"What kind of a church is that?"

"Actually, it is a powerful branch...the headquarter is in India..the prophet is a retired demonic angel...very, very powerful...infact the Prophet told us the person behind all our problems!"

Vera's mother was getting interested.
"And who is the person?"

"Ehmm...he refused to tell us...but he said..."

"Enough!...Vera, why did you leave our family church? Is there no Apostolic church in the whole of Uyo?"

Vera opened her mouth to say something but Smart took over.

"Actually ehmmm...we are still.."

"Is okay!" The old woman was tired of her son-inlaw senseless explanation.

Truth be told, Smart hasn't visited a church for over twenty eight years.
Vera knew that.

"Mum, I'll be fine" Vera added weakly.

"Please, the period of pregnancy is a stage in which a lady has to take control of her spiritual element...don't leave yourself vulnerable...ok?"

Vera nodded.
"Are you hungry?" Smart asked.

Vera ignored him.
"Mum i want to drink tea!"

"Ok!" Her mum stood up.

"Let me get the provisions from the car...How long will she be staying?" She faced Smart.

He scratched his scalp.
"I haven't discussed with the doctor"

Vera's mother nodded and exited the ward.
"I'm sorry...i was.....ehmm...not in my normal senses...but...ehmm.." He scratched his head.

"The Doctor said the bill is hundred thousand!"

Vera sprang up and cried in pains as her tummy hurt badly.

"Calm down!" Smart helped her back on the bed.

"Why did you jump up like that?" He asked.

"What makes the bill hundred thousand?"

Smart switched on his lying device.
"Actually, i met the cashier and she told me the bill, i was suprised myself...i met the head-doctor and he affirmed it...and he said the money should be paid today!"

Vera heaved.
"I have only ninety thousand in my savings!" She added weakly.

"I hope your atm pin is still 7777?"

"You caused this...your insecurity caused this!" Vera tried to scream but her voice was barely audible.

"What makes you think i caused this...I'm a good husband and you know that...the proofs were obvious...many husbands would have discussing the divorce process by now...but here am i..with my wife..and you're blaming me!" He flared up.

"Where can i get hot water" Vera's mother moved into the ward with a bag full of provisions.

"I'll go home and get the water" Smart said and smiled at Vera.

"Be strong...but we need to make the payment today!"

"What payment?" The woman asked as she emptied the content on a side cupboard.

"The bills...is hundred thousand!"

Vera's mum breathed.
"I have just fourty thousand with m...."

"No...don't worry mum, I'll handle everything!" He said, hoping the woman will press further.

"I'll pay the fourty while you addup sixty...i can't let you foot the bills alone" She fondled through her wallet and retrieved a wrap of money and handed it to Smart.

"Thanks mum...you're the best mother inlaw!" Smart hailed.

"That's fifty thousand!" She said.

Smart gave himself a high five.
The bill was just thirty thousand...so he had just swindled his wife and mother inlaw.
He now had one hundred and ten thousand to himself.
Hard drugs and beer all the way this week.

°•°•°•°•°•°•
"Father in heaven, are you sleeping?
God of Judah, are you resting?
Lion of the tribe of judah, are you dozing?
Why have you allowed the son of man to eat shame?
Before i embarked on this mission i called you in...i ask you to diversify my sperm to avoid pregnancy.
But lord, you failed me.
You allow double calamity into my life.
Only me, four children.
What kind of wahala is this?
God, do you want me to die?
I better die than commit suicide.
God why?
You've failed me.
Upon the condom i bought, upon the withdrawal method i practised...how did it happen?
Ohhhh! I am finished.
My mother warned me of Akwaibom ladies.
She told me that they are destiny killers, i didn't believe.
Now i have seen it.
They have destroyed my destiny.
How will two women get pregnant for one man? Am i king Solomon?
What kind of dick do i have?
Oh if i knew, i would have allowed my father to castrate me when i was in SS2...as if he knew, he told me that my dick will land me in serious wahala.
Lord this case is more than wahala...
Please lord, touch those women's heart, let them accept abortion.
I command you women to accept abortion.
Prove yourself.
Lord, if they want to prove stubborn..send the heavenly doctors to abort the babies.
I cannot be a father of four for the very first time, i refused to be...
Lord, if those ladies accept to abort the babies, i will renounce my position in the force and join the church.
Is there anything to hard for you to do?
Was it not you that made David's wife barren?
Father make those women barren...no..no...make them....infact, make the babies to be aborted.
And I'll leave Lydia and stick with Bernice!!!
Amen!
Amen!!
Amen!!!
Praise the Lord!!!!
Fireeeeeeeee!!!!!!"

Timi breathed and stood up.

"My husband" Someone called.

His eyes almost popped out in recognition.
"Lydia, what are you doing..."

"I suppose to be asking you that...you don't go to church...so what are you doing here?" Lydia rubbed her stomach.

"Are you stalking me?" Timi asked.

Lydia laughed so hard.

"This is my church...i worship here"

"Ohh..this is your church...ehmm..i came to..."

"Investigate someone!" Lydia chirped in.

"No..i came to ask God how to be a good father!"

"Whoah...that's chill...so what did God say?"

"He asked me to go and sleep in the bush..that am not ready to be a father!"

"Jeez! God can never say that!"

"I forgot to record the conversation we had...he told me loud and clear...that if i be a father at this time that caterpillar will crush my skull..he also said i should wait for my time"

Lydia's mouth was wide agape.

"That's what God said and his word is final...infact i forgot to tell you that...I'm not ready to be a father now but I'm ready to be a reverend father!" Timi said and made to leave but Lydia held his belt.

"Do you want to fight in the church?" Timi was suprised.

"We are going to see the pastor...he'll have to confirm all what you've said!"

"Say wetin happen? I spoke directly with God...what does the pastor know? Is he God? God doesn't want me to be a father!" Timi wasn't going to yield.

"Do you know that blaspheming is unforgivable?"

"Do you know that unwanted pregnancy is unforgivable?"

"Who gave it to me if not you?" Lydia screamed.

"Just let me pass...this is a church and..."

A powerful slap tore through his face.

"Lydia...i knew you were mad but i underestimated your madness...you dare slap me in the church?" Timi was shocked.
Lydia was shivering in anger.

"If i was with my gun, i for shoot ya breast...look at you...that's why God decided to punish you with triplet" Timi lost his cool.

"God punished us with triplet!" Lydia affirmed.

"Who are the us? Do you think i am us? We are not us. You are you, and i am me...no us yet..and there will never be us!" Timi struggled to free himself.

"Timi Abiodun! If this is what you do to Ekiti girls don't try it with me...Akwaibom girls no deh carry last" Lydia was ready for a show.

"I will shoot you now and ask God for mercy!" He threatened.

tbc....

Adeola25:
Couldn't stop laughing. Make the possessed man leave my Harry alone oo. Thanks for the update Op

you are Blessed...

SpiceyD2020:
Nice one op.... Still i follow

we flow together