₦airaland Forum

SonofGod231:
Same thing I've been asking yet op won't open up totally.
This whole scenario sounds like my neighbors in ph.Last I heard,he smashed her android phone because I doesn't want her browsing and chatting online. He personally took her to a phone shop to pick any phone that doesn't browse, unfortunately for her the small Nokia phone she picked has GPRS and does mini Facebook only for the man to discover one day that the phone can Facebook.Na that day he almost burnt the woman and the children alive.
We for area don know say the man na certified mad man so anytime him start to display him madness with the woman we go just dial him papa and mama number.na only dem dey fit cum calm the man down.
I dey always pity the poor woman .
This one was also deported from Germany but has a nice house though.

He doesn't have parents. His parents are late

medriano:
I get you. Like I said, God will intervene soon. I’m sis by the way�

Amen, so sorry addressing you as a guy. Thanks

bigtt76:
You need reset your sister head small ooo

My brother would say he just needs to see her first, then she would say it to his face what was wrong with her for being stupid

joinnow:
your 50k brother can root out 10k from his Oct salary and your brother that is older than your sister should pay her visit and also get her a small phone.
Trip cost from imo to pH 5k to and fro
Then small 4k phone and 1k things for her children.

My elder brother is the third born sir. We live in Lagos not imo state. Imo was the man state of origin

My brother was the one financing the house for now which makes it somewhat difficult raising funds

medriano:
That man is an idiot. You guys seem cool in your family. This man deserves to be dealt with seriously.

We are not cool bro. My dad isn't a cool man. You know the worth of a man is known by his pocket. He needs money to move with any other people he's inviting

The man is a bad man that i know

rickyrex:
You will not lose your sister.. neither will I say she's fine wherever she is. Igbos proverb says make use of the day light to look for your lost black goat not at night. What if something happen to your sister where she is and the and abscond ... Mind you, you don't know if she stays in porthacourt untill you go there and confirm for yourself. Secondly, the man and your sister might also be afraid what you guys will do to them should they show up, thirdly, how much will it cost any of you to transport to ph... From Lagos to porthacourt am sure will not cost you up to 10k. You or your elder one should go with your dad to see her. That's what I can comment

They have been in Lagos for few years and we did nothing to them.

Pallaz:
It's very easy for IMO girls to leave their homes without pride prize..... I can't imagine my Anambra sisters doing thin like this..... Your sister is a slave to that man.. Because the man has getting her born children for him and he been using it against her,,, like if you visit this your family again, make sure u stay there or no count me as your husband again

Exactly what my mum said.. She was just his sacrificial lamb. Funny enough we ain't from the east. We are Yoruba

Ayo081:
Very sad story.

Why not hustle like 5k - 10k in 2-3 months then send to them so she could get a phone.

Let them know you guys just want to be able to get in touch.

Yes I'm hopeful and looking forward to get something doing inorder to contribute and get her a phone

But sincerely, the man is responsible for all these

He's using a smart phone and his wife is using nothing. Not even a touch light phone

trevorhorace:
I'm sorry about what you all must be going through. Not knowing the whereabouts of your sister can be traumatizing.

I suggest you all forget all previous grudges and find a way to first meet with her and know how's she's fairing first and foremost.

She might be in danger for all we know.

I suggest the most logical and emotionally mature of you all should go first.. so as not escalate things. That should be one of you or your brother. Your parents may not be able to handle it well.

Your main goal is to get to know the safety of her and the kids. And dialogue with her on how she can be reunited with the family.

Thanks for your advice sir

jaxxy:
Seems u all forget ur sister is an adult and u can only advise her not beat her up and lockup her man even if he’s not the billionaire u all expect. He said he loves ur sister u should have heard them out and guide them in the proper direction. They are not kids u Controls anyhow and what’s happening now is ur sister and her man resent ur family for ur previous actions.

Is this man the best for sister No bt that’s not how to dissuade her from him either. It’s not like he kidnapped her?

Now u are still looking for how to prepare for war rather than truce? What is wrong with u guys and ur high moral standards bt poor reasoning to issues??

we've never consider going for war. It was just a mere suggestion. That doesn't mean we'd stick to it

chibjohn:
Your elder brother isn’t gainfully employed. 50k salary is trash.
Your family must have treated your sister and the man very badly that resulted to this. You people should find a way to win back their love.

Thanks for your input

BRATISLAVA:
How old is your sister? How old is the man?

She's enjoyed a decade with him, why are you trying to separate their love? It's clearly what they both want that's going on.

This is not about seperation sir/ma

My mother never treated her parents nor siblings like that, same with my dad

The man was almost 50 when they met, while she was just 23 or something

I don't think igbo culture is like that

dapolaw:
Your sister was in her early 20s when she was gotten pregnant by this man and your parent got him arrested.... After that you still expect him to reach out to you people after the humiliation?

My question; you said your sister did not reach out.... Did you at any time tried reaching out to her?

Several times. Through the husband phone since she doesn't have her own phone. But most times, the man is not always around to speak with her. We'd have to wait till he get back home and she doesn't give us any sign of she's not fine

Kobojunkie:
Your entire family is barely managing still and you are trying to chase down your sister why? So she can come provide you support where she probably has none of her own or so you can simply say she calls you?

Even if we are drinking garri that doesn't mean we shouldn't know what's right and wrong

The rest of us are all boys who would got married someday. We all see what the man does as something totally wrong

Acidosis:
Okay. Since she hasn't bothered to call, have you guys made any attempt to speak with her through friends, at least to know her living conditions/wellbeing? That call or visit is necessary and it's important to make it about her, not you or your family. Let her know that you and the entire family care about her. Maybe she's going through a lot or too ashamed to speak? You never can tell until you have that conversation.

Those friends too were bothered believing that man is behind all these. But my parents are too ashamed to speak out to them. My dad still talk to her through the man's phone three days ago to know what is wrong with her. My dad spoke with the man and he keeps giving flimsy excuses about the bigger amount he pays for his children school fees and others. My dad asked him was that the reason you couldn't get your wife even a small touch light phone so she can reach her family? Was that the reason why you eloped with her and she never come to visit her family not even when her brother and grandparents died? He was just dumbfounded and keep saying he's sorry

greenie77:
No matter how dire things are for you guys financially, your father, your elder brother and 2 ot 3 of your uncles should have traced their location and showed up unexpectedly before now.

Sadly, some of such cases have never ended well as most times it is at the death of woman involved that her family gets involved again.

We've once planned to visit her without their noticed. About three of us but we need to consider our pocket. Going and coming back isn't what we can cough out easily. Moreso, considering the fact that I'm still looking out for job. The burden will be too much on my elder brother

Follak:
Forget about the man not paying bride price now.Everybody including your parents should start calling your sister through her husband's phone,visit her often,contact her old friends and let them visit her,invite her to family functions through her husband,infact infact both of them.You guys should force yourself into her life.Don't complain now.Win her back and gradually get her out of there or make the man marry her properly

They were always informed about any family function. Not even to contribute money o. Just to show up and honour the invitation. He never did nor my sister. He always give excuse that he's broke but he always have money to attend his family functions. At times if my mum called him to speak with her daughter. He'd say he travelled home for this and that. Not until he arrived home before she can speak with her

Acidosis:
She moved in with the love of her life because your dad handled the issue carelessly.

You can't order the maltreatment of your sister's 40 year old man and expect her to respect or remember y'all. Remember that your sister now has children. She's a grown woman now and a mother with family responsibilities.

You guys have to locate that family and make amends. Your parents must have done terrible things to that man beyond what you mentioned here.

According to my dad, he claimed he got him arrested to write a statement never to see him closer to his daughter. He wasn't dehumanized nor beaten to pulp

Iyaebe:
That man is diabolical, he has hypnotized your sister to make up for his wasted years.Look for Christ embassy church around you for true deliverance for your sister.shalom

That's my thought also. My sister was like a sacrificial lamb to him having wasted many years abroad before coming down here.

Franklyspeakin:
My own sef is the angle u are coming from. Are u sure its not financial gains you people want from your sis?? Because a right thinking family would have been more interested in knowing if she is fine... That is pay a visit to see her, talk to ker and know if she is OK then probably remind her that her parents are worried about her. Which one is her presence is greatly needed?? Do you even know if your sister is still alive?? When last did you see her with your eyes?? See talk ooo. Go and check on her abeg. It could even be shame thats stopping her from coming back. Shame of you guys laughing at her. Go and show love to her before you start giving her responsibilities.

we may be poor but not entitled biggot. My parents never wanted her to marry the man. My dad even housed her for a year with her 2 kids then, and the man keeps coming and begging prophecing love to her here and there and she started crying and begging to go meet him. She knows we'd gladly accept her back if she chose to come back today. I felt that's one of the reason why the man took her to pourtharcourt having known my family conditions, it would take a toll on us before coming down there. None of my family members had accepted penny from him nor his wife. We weren't weird that way to be entitled. If he give us fine, we'd gladly accept it. But for us to demand, never

Good morning house

The only sister i and my other siblings had met a Man around 2008. He's from Imo state, a deportee from Germany who was in his late 40s when they met. My sister was just out of high school then and struggling to secure admission into any of the tertiary institutions. Luckily, she got admission to study law at Unilag after her second attempt. Sadly, there was no money to process the admission, she lost it. She was the first and only daughter of our parents. My parents were incapacitated financially to support her dream

My father never wanted her to work then, for guys not to take advantage of her or something. Having lost the admission, she insisted to work inorder to raise money for her studies. My dad got no option than to obliged

She met this man barely a year she started working. She was in her early 20s and full of dreams. Lest I forget, she was staying with our grand mother due to distance. This man got my sister pregnant and we got to hear about it. My dad got the man arrested and beat the hell out of my sister. He wept bitterly claiming this isn't the life he envisioned for his only daughter

He beseeched her and talk sense into her but she insisted, claiming she loved the man. This man was deported after spending almost half of his productive years outside the shores of Nigeria. He came back home with nothing and the next thing he could do was to got my sister pregnant claiming he loves her beyond words

My sister moved in with him and they started living together. We lost our grand parents (paternal and maternal) Yet, this man and my sister never stepped their foot in our house to commesorate. I lost my eldest brother, same thing happened. They never showed up. I was the 4th child of five children. Though, only four left now. She hardly call our parents nor we her siblings. To cap it all, my sister had stopped using phone ever since she moved to pourtharcourt with this man

This same man always attend his family function and very much into his family but isolated my sister away from her family. My sister never called throughout my days in the university just to know how I'm fairing, despite knowing our family condition. A very close friend of mine noticed this while in school and i did explained everything to him. He felt so bittered. He asserted the man might be diabolic, he's from the same town with the man in imo state

My parents are in their early/late 60s respectively and aging gradually. They couldn't felt the presence of their only daughter. Interestingly, family members got suspicious and they kept asking after her but my parents are bent on covering up, claiming she's fine. Yet, they goes to their closets to cry bitterly for the life of their daughter. I asked my dad why covering up, he claimed to have known his family pretty well, that they would do nothing

I'm just a young graduate, still job haunting. While my elder brother is gainfully employed with 50k as his monthly take home. He's being supportive with day to day running of the house and that of our last born studies. A friend suggested myself and elder brother with any of our uncle should go and treat the man's fvckup for eloping with someone's daughter without paying her bride price nor any other marital rite. I told him that isn't feasible for now due to our poor finances.

Nonetheless, we can't continue folding our hands and watch this man get away with this. She is the only daughter of our parents. Her presence is highly needed in their life, especially my mother

Please what can we do to make things work for my family back? I can't imagine having a sister who's more like a living dead

Any help, input or suggestions from anyone!