₦airaland Forum

ontarioache:
Hello all,

A mutual friend has drawn my attention to this thread

https://www.nairaland.com/7357845/complex-marital-issue-thoughts-please/15#117128240

MY RESPONSE.
First let me thank our mutual friend Imelda for drawing my attention to this.

Well, I am here to set the record straight.
I did not see any need to respond, but some commentators really got me laughing hard so let me indulge you all.

To kick start, I am in touch with my 2 kids on almost a daily basis, and the event she described is not the first time. Hanging up on me is a routine since we married, it has happened un-countable times. Also the guys that said I am childish are right, when they finish reading they will truly know that, no man will behave the way I have, except a child. Lastly, I am fully responsible for the upkeep of my family, every penny and not much age difference between us. I have never hung up on her for one day. She has even blocked me on phone over some arguments while we live in same house. (LOL)

For the readers, what happened is this :

You called me that you were going to made some budget and you will be spending … amount of money on that plans- you know the plan. I told you it was okay and we kept on talking about It. ( I did not raise any issue immediately to avoid conflict) so after some days, I told you that next time, it will be appropriate that we ought to discuss such plans together and that it was not the best for you to decide all by yourself and only informed me of what you have chosen to do for a decision that affects the both of us. You flared up immediately that I do not have the right to tell you that, and THAT YOU ARE ALONE WITH THE CHILDREN (like you always say) and furthermore, you said you have many things that you are doing at the same time. I then replied you that I also have many things going through my mind. ( I replied you this way because you always say this, anytime I want to have a discussion with you. You even say this even while we were together, and I will just be amazed). You flared up and insulted me then hung up.

I called you immediately many times. I called you again at night, I sent you several messages, although I did not apologize directly but the messages I sent reflected that I was sorry. In one of the messages, I explained that I was critical of the amount you intend to spend , because you do know we have other more pressing plans that we needed funds for, and that what your budgeted was a bit too high. But you refused to let go like you have always done for these 8 years. Every week for 6 weeks I sent you messages that you never replied to.

In this period, you also changed apartment without even deeming it fit to tell me. (Yes I know before this misunderstanding, it was already the plan that you will be changing apartment. But the anger still did not allow you tell me as at when you finally moved to the new apartment, till now, it has been more than 3 months that you moved, you still did not inform me although the children told me about it, you know they did, but I expected that at least you should tell me about it by yourself.)

I did not just stop picking your calls because I wanted to stop, I did it for my self respect and sanity. It is the first time I am refusing to pick your call, or even not to talk to you after 8 years of marriage.

Have I ever held any grudge against you for more than 24hrs ?, have you ever had to apologise more than once on anything without me accepting your apology immediately, that is even if you choose to apologise at all. ? !. Rather you are the one that reminds me at every giving opportunity that I know you can decide not to talk to me again and stay on you own, and that I am the one that will suffer. In precise terms, you always do this, while I was at home. You can stay on for weeks and months without talking to me for the slightest misunderstanding, I am always the one that will try and make peace, and each time you either humiliate me by refusing to make peace till whenever you are satisfied. It has been like this for these 8 years. Even if I want to hold a discussion with you at home, it is either you are busy on the phone, and If I try to ask you to focus you just tell me I should summarize and that you listen with your ears, and not your phone or your hands. However, sometimes ( like 20 per cent of cases) you do listen to me.

Even when the children are being difficult, you threaten them by telling them to go ask their father the kind of person you are, and that you do not tolerate nonsense from anyone.(lol, when I was young, our mothers threathen us with our father) Yes, you are right, I wonder why you are so proud of these difficult attributes of yours.

Recall that before that very day that you hung up on me,( in fact also since the beginning of the union), you have been insulting me on each time I call, If we are discussing and I ask you a question about what you have said, you always say that I don’t pay attention. You accuse me of not caring about how you managed the children alone by yourself. I understand it is hard to raise 2 kids under the age of 6 all by yourself, however like I have always told you, lets thank God, it could have been worse- not having children is hard, having children is also hard.Remember at home, your mother and your sister once said that, I show too much care for the kids and that is the weakness that you are using against me. This is from your own family. Imelda was also there !

I can barely talk to you on phone, each time I call you, you tell me you are busy with the kids, and most times you just ask me to summarise and then you hang up even while we were at home together, you say the same thing.

Recently before this sad event you even said if I do not call before 9.45pm, I can no longer reach you, few times when I have to call like few minutes to your deadline, no matter how important our discussion is, once it s 9.45 pm, the phone disconnects and that will be it.You can not even bend that rule for me. You barely return my calls, if you see my missed calls, sometimes it may take you days and most times you do not return them at all, if I ask, you are quick to say, you are alone managing the children and that your are already too stressed up to be bothered about missed calls.

Much earlier than this incident that you hung up on me, you asked me never to wish you any kind of good wishes like happy birthdays, Christmas, mother’s day and all those. Because you said I do not care that it is all lip service. I thought it was just frustration, but for the last 1 year, you have consistently refused to respond to my Christmas, New Year and even your birthday wishes.You ignored all my wishes!
5 months before that faithful day that you escalated your disdain for me to a whole new level, you talked to me on the phone with reckless abandon, even on my birthday, you managed to call me around 11 pm and your birthday wish to me was this “ I WISH YOU WHAT YOU WISH YOURSELF”, I told you it was not a fair wish, and the next thing, it led to outburst again and that was that, and you hung up.

Remember, you forgot my birthday for the past 3 consecutive years.

Obviously, in the preceding 5 months, you have been looking for what I will do so that you can cut me off, the opportunity came and you took it like a Viking.

How often can a married woman stay without getting in contact with her husband for this long over a matter as simple as that, and she is not bothered at all.

I needed to let go for once. I am tired of fighting for the advancement of this union. It has been 8 years of this gruesome treatment. You think everyone is wrong apart from you.

Please if there is any FALSEHOOD in what I have written, I will be glad that you tell your audience. IMELDA YOUR SISTER IS READING THIS AND SHE CAN TESTIFY TO ALL THESE. Moreover, this is just one small aspect of all that has happened these past 8 years. I just decided to skip a thousand others.I only choose to focus on this alone. You know there are a thousand things that are worse than this that you have done.

I am glad that the vast majority of your audience could not be manipulated by your story.

Maybe I would have just stayed back home in Nairobi 7 years ago, may it could not have been this bad. This is my Canada reality!

I would be a liar if I say it has not been daunting and I do not miss you. However, I have since come to the realization that no matter what , no man should dine in the table where love, respect and dignity are not served ! This is my new reality!

Dear Wife, Enjoy your own reality that you created for yourself and stay blessed...!

Your wife is a Jezebel. A sadistic woman.

famouscargo4u:
WACOT is a Nigerian company.

Wacot is owned by TGI

Festus30:
I and this girl have been dating over a year. I took her serious, I've sacrifice a lot for her and it made me so heart broken when I noticed she cheated on me reason I almost took her life.

My girlfriend and I live in the same city (Mowe) but I traveled out of the city 2 months ago for work things (ibadan), so around last month she called me that her phone screen (Samsung) is broken, that she's just managing her phone and to fix it is 35k but she already have 15k so she's in need of 20k to complete it. So I sent her 21k.

Fast forward to Friday when I came back to mowe, I went to see her, I saw her holding iphone Xmax. I was like who gave you iPhone? She was just telling me lies upon lies. At first she said she swapped it, then I was like why didn't you tell me you bought iPhone and who gave you money to swap it becus you'll need over 190k to swap. To cut the long story short..

I later found out that a guy bought the phone for her. The 21k I sent to repair her phone, she repaired it and gave it to her younger sis.

I was so heartbroken. For a guy to buy her iphone that means she have been dating and having sex with the guy secretly without me knowing. She has been begging me, calling & texting since Friday but i didn't reply.

She texted me she was coming to my house yesterday. The only word I said to her since on Friday was to meet me in a uncompleted building close to my house yesterday, I have this machanic slege hammer, it's one of my tools I use for working, so I held it while waiting for her.

My plan was the moment she enter the building, just a powerful whiplash on her head and she's dead, I felt so cold inside of me, I was also shaking while holding the hammer and feeling so heartbroken. Then I heard a deep voice inside of me saying "YOU WILL REGRET YOUR ACTIONS" (twice)

Then she called me that she's there, I already sighted her through the window, I came out and I told her to run away and never come back anywhere around me again. She was still begging that she's sorry. And I said if only you know what I'm about to do, you will run.

She left, I just sat on the floor feeling so heartbroken.

Oponu.. heart broken over a lady that you have not paid her dowry..mugu!

Adeebiwa09:
We gree they are igbos, they took 4 trucks to pack them from Anambra, abuse, Imo and Enugu yesterday night to come make up the number, we have proof of that

Where is Tinubu own?
In Lagos, Edo, Warri, Osun, Bauchi, Kaduna etc there are simultaneously rallies today not by Labour Party but the people, willingly without pay. They are igbos infact currently there is no male in the south east they all traveled to the all these places for rally.

When obidients are all over the place even without Obi.
Atiku went for a wedding in Gombe the reception at the airport was bigger than APC Abuja rally for Tinubu, where is Tinubu.
Batmen are here analyzing why and how, oga show us your own shebi una suppose to have your own March for Tinubu today what happened, even with police intimidation obidients still work.

Ose omobanke....gbayi

This is too much ....Nigeria policemen are devil incarnate.

Apexmoh:
Comparing the population of the north & that of the south, is like comparing a sea & an ocean. You better get your facts right you dull. It baffles me to see the rate at which our youth are on drugs and the worse part of it is that this op is amongst them. You just wake-up from your madness and post this rubbish. Your p@rents must have woefully failed in your upbringing. Animals are better than you southerners. Illiterate fool, it won't even surprise us to find out that his mother is a pr0stitute and that's why he's bittered, because northerner don't have prostitute. If you like also say south has more land mass than north. Illiterate Femi Aribisala

Oponu...instead of you to counter his point with a prove...you are here saying nonsense. Very dumb and stupid fellow.

Too much mouth...they wan bring the 10m vote from heaven?

Mercisharelove:
According to the prophet whose words have always stay true.

He said Atiku will perform just like the former Buhari before he merge with Tinubu.

You remembered before the merger Buhari was always only winning in the north.

The same thing will happen to Atiku, he will never believe it, but that's what's going to happen to him come 2023.

As for bat, he will do well but he will not be able to win the race, because let me tell as many as care to listen, to win election is by destiny, not because you are the best candidate or your connections or party affiliation.

Peter Obi is the name I am hearing ringing loud and clear, nothing will be able to stop him, he's journeying to the throne.

He will not believe himself, I know he just wanted to try his luck, unknown to him destiny picked up his ambitious, look where he is now.


Hear and hear directly, nothing will be able to stop Peter Obi victory.

This I have seen and said.

Please move this to the home page for posterity SAKE.

Thanks.

Great

He should resign immediately

Lol...gbera go get the mulla

2Radii:
Ti iya e o ba n se didirin, afobojona, koni bi akindanidani bii tie.

One day u wil be a victim of reckless driving in one way. Abunu.

Supo...
Ashinu...
Omopenu...
Raradada naa loma gbeyin e.
Very stupid somebody.
You will learn by serious injurious accident.

2Radii:
na u stupid..oponu.

Put ur motor for one way den.. olodo.

One day u will directly or indirectly be a victim of one-way driving, den u will know the scores.



Abi didn't u hear the the government gave dem the ample time to pay fine or defend it in court??

Didirin...ni iwo ati iya. You are so dumb that your low cranial capacity do not allow you to comprehend the pains the man in question had gone through. I pray, you and your family will undergo times three of what the man and his family had gone through. alaye baje....oloshi.

OboOlora:
Sentimental preecks everywhere
Someone broke tha law and his vehicle was confiscated, so he didn’t know it was his means of livelihood when he broke the law?

Since he wants to assist every predicament-inclined Nigerian, he should also go and bail all yahoo boys in efcc net, as long as they can claim they are into fraud cos the govt couldn’t provide jobs for them

You are stupid and heartless. People like you don't deserve a breathe...

Nyamuri:
So Tinubu is mediocrity and terrorist?

You know the rest....

Nyamuri:
It's very unfortunate bro, I actually feel for you! You have let religion divid u.. I hope this won't be the beginning for Yoruba race

That's how it should be....u don't vote mediocrity and terrorism because of tribe. Tribe could not save the hundreds killed in ondo Catholic church....our survival as a Christian comes first before tribe..thanks

LegendHero:
Bro Tinubu will win the SW with nothing less than 75-80% of the votes.

That 75% is the lowest amount he can get. The indices are already appearing, go into the heart of Yorubaland and take stock.

Aside Lagos where Peter Obi/Atiku will get some votes (which will be divided between them both), Peter obi wont see 30k votes in any SW states up to Kwara.

30-50k votes mean you count 50,000 heads that will go and thumbprint for him in Ekiti for example. I wish him best of luck if he thinks he can get that.

But I’m sure Atiku will perform better in the SW than Obi because there are PDP structure that will want to go to Abuja and they will want to mobilize for him but they will be too few to make much impact.

When you are giving analysis....you should always do that with sense. Yoruba Christians which I'm part of will not vote Tinubu....stop deceiving yourself... We are going to vote base on religion and competency....

Naajjii:
Is it the drug trafficking, human trafficking, prostitution, yahoo yahoo scams and lawlessness you do in other countries or what will make northerners to live in dark age?

You yourself know the truth that nothing good can ever come out of the north except terrorism.

SU50:
All these are grammatical errors, take note.

Meanwhile, when Europeans came to the place known today as Nigeria, the north has a developed administrative system that would rival that of Europeans themselves, if we are talking about civilization, no chook mouth.

I'm not surprised at your dumbest. Indicating that assertion as a grammatical error shows you have never been schooled beyond primary level. Next time just shut up and don't comment when elites are making a sound point. Oponu!

Northerners are the dumbest and low IQ race.
They are so dull and unintelligent. They have never lay hand on anything and succeed. So bereaved of innovative ideas. If not for southern Nigeria they would have still be dining and living in the dark age.

When you have malaria and you are dying. Will you ever remember if someone is saying anything about you? No!... Your focus will be on your health. The irony of Tinubu predicament. He's a walking cope...

They want to bring Atiku or Tinubu to continue this menace?

fman:
It is a decentralized digital currency that is no different from NAIRA
Just that it is virtual and housed in a digital wallet system..
It's advantages are huge.
1. It will seamlessly help in online purchases..
2. It will check and balance currency hoarding and devaluation...
3. The value of naira will increase in the exchange market.
4. It will remove the traditional way of transaction- that is using physical naira note to purchase items

Still make no sense....The ideology is senseless

Photoshop.. things

PDPPROMAX:
why won't he win north Central? I don't think the religious card labour party are holding close to their chest will have any meaninful effect in north Central because in state like benue with almost 99% Christians population will make sure they punish the governor by votin the reverend father who is the apc governorship candidate. Now you are left with only Plateau state, even with its large Christian population that's not enough to overwhelm the Muslims in Niger,kwara, kogi and Nasarawa state combined. I.e if religion becomes a factor to vote as most Christian fro south east want it to be.

What you are saying does not make sense

JAMO84:
Some of our Christian Brothers and sisters are more loyal to their religion than their region. If Tinubu was a Christian, all Yoruba Muslims will follow him with one mind like our fathers followed Awolowo. We are watching.

If Tinubu failed to get block votes from South West because our Christian Brothers and sisters decide to follow Obi, we will respond at the appropriate time.



If they vote their Christian brother from South East, we will vote our Muslim brother from the north in the future. Any Yoruba Christian candidate will no longer get our support.

If that's what you want ..no problem. We Yoruba Christians will vote Obi. I can tell you this...it's 100%

Obi

APCnaPDP:
Some of the things northerners are suffering in the south especially South West are not being shown in the open. I have reports of how Amoketun profiles and harasses northerners.

It's a welcome development....infact any hausa or fulani man is a prospect. Even if you enter SW, you must be thoroughly searched

OritaIbadan:
Your mumu never do. I was in Camp for the convention, is obvious you don't know what is going on. We are solidly behind Peter Obi and will vote for him overwhelmingly. I doubt if you are a Christian or a member of RCCG'. Bro don't even mention Tinubu to the Church, that name irritates at the moment

They never no anything....they thought we are joking.....it will dawn on them come 2023. Let the Muslims be voting their mediocrity Tinubu and Atiku

That is a bad one for the company....A New car that can't use up to 3yrs before breaking down...it's horrible!

babzo:
Aare Gani confuses these days.

1) What happened to the galant Gani Adams of the OPC days?
2) Is he not the Aare Ona Kankanfo ( General of the Army) of Yorubaland?
3) What is new about bandits in the forest, wasn't the same thing said last year and year before that?
4) How big are the forests that his OPC men can't focus on one small area and capture these bandits?Are the bandits ghosts?
5) Whats the point of Ametokun if bandits can infiltrate the SW?

I tire oo

Obident with pride