₦airaland Forum

Vikkyk10:
Dad gud evenin.E ma binû sir.Am sorry 4 invading in2 ur privacy.Vote for temigracie.Pls

Abeg, who be temigracie?

selingel:
I am really touched by this thread. I have also learnt alot. But how do you handle an ex, who abandoned you when you needed her and her mum to render assistance financially to you? This is based on the fact dat, I was there for them, when they (especially she), needed me badly. In fact, till date, I have spent over N600,000 on them, but gained nothing. Pls advise.

From the above, the money was giving out of your own volition, and not that you were swindled. Yes! You were in a good position to do so (and with expectation that someday), they will reciprocate. Since they didnt, I will advise you let go.

As I said earlier, I wont go beyond this, becos to be fair in this situation, I will need to hear from the other party. Alot, must have happened between you and the other party.

selingel:
Oga! Pls I am still waiting...
I am really angry.

I am sorry. Many apologies.
Mnwhile, your case is a very complicated one. No one will want to fully and wholly give you advise, except he/she hears from the other party. Just like an adage in Yoruba land, "no man weeds with an hoe, without doing so to favor his/her side". More so, when it involves money, it now becomes cumbersome.

Howbeit, I will advise, you sit down and think again....

I am really sorry for the slight delay. I had to attend to some family, and work related issues. They both took my time.

Mprex:
Nice thread. Keep it up

Thanks...

selingel:
I am really touched by this thread. I have also learnt alot. But how do you handle an ex, who abandoned you when you needed her and her mum to render assistance financially to you? This is based on the fact dat, I was there for them, when they (especially she), needed me badly. In fact, till date, I have spent over N600,000 on them, but gained nothing. Pls advise.

I will get back to you on this. I've been busy...

selingel:
I am really touched by this thread. I have also learnt alot. But how do you handle an ex, who abandoned you when you needed her and her mum to render assistance financially to you? This is based on the fact dat, I was there for them, when they (especially she), needed me badly. In fact, till date, I have spent over N600,000 on them, but gained nothing. Pls advise.

I will get back to you on this. I've been busy.

Vikkyk10:
Tnx dad.

The pleasure is mine...

Vikkyk10:
tnx dad,u r d best dad in d world.Y shld i b careful

We are in a world where sometimes things dont go the way we think. I always prepare myself for the best and the worst. No matter what I see or hear in my life, I am not surprised. Thats why I always tell people to be careful in all they do.

Vikkyk10:
i knw,ok

The aspect I meant dangerous, is what I said earlier. "Men will always be men". So, becos you caught a man once, does not mean he is that bad. He could have been influenced by friends or other external factors. All you should look out for, is the ability to ask for forgiveness and for him to quit cheating. If he has that inbuilt feature, he could just be the man. But be careful.

All I want you to do is that, prioritise what you want at this stage. What should top it is your studies.

If a man cheats on you, be careful. Jumping out immediately can be dangerous, yet, bad becos TRUST would have gone....

Vikkyk10:
Yea i knw,if i gt 2 knw he's cheatn,i wl quit d relatnshp and face my buk squarely and dre'll b no second chance

Even then, dont be in a hurry to quit any relationship. Men will always be men. There is no perfect man or woman out there.

Then it is getting more difficult. Meanwhile, five months is okay, but as students, I would have advised you concentrated more on your studies, with very little time for any affair, until when you know it is time to give it a more serious attention.

Most students affairs CRASHES! Yes, they are some few lucky ones that succeeded, and I pray yours should be among them.

Vikkyk10:
he stl does al of dt.His eyes ws ful of emotn wn he said dt.

How long have you been dating precisely and where is he? What about you?

Now, to the issue of no sex long-distance relationship. It is a very complicated relationship. My Dear, if I must be frank with, you must prepare yourself for the worse. I am a man, I have been there and have seen it all. Over 98% of full fledge men, will tell you, is okay with the no-sex affair, but deep in them they are just waiting for you to slide. Another set (still in the 98%) may not wait for you to slide, but have another girl somewhere doing your duties (as they may think). Just as they say, "there is no free meal anywhere". Maybe in the course of getting along with this girl, the sex aspect is now making him have a rethink about your affair, hence, the reason for his comment. It might also be that, the new person stays around, then you are in trouble. Distance affect a lot too. As they say, "out of sight means, out of mind". You need to apply what I earlier told you in this affair.

Vikkyk10:
i am in a no-sex and a long distance relatnshp.I went 2 c myboo lastwk.It ws then he told me dt sm1 wants to take im 4rm me.

Hmmm....In the first place, what did you notice about the way he told you? How was the receptiion when you got there? Was it different from how he used to receive you, or was it the same? What else did you notice around that environment (as in his apartment)? If your pix were there before, are they still there? If he used to answer calls in your presence, is he still doing same?

If you did pay so much attention, you would have seen evidence about what he has just told you, and more importantly, the answer to the above issue.

No matter how smart your boyfriend or spouse proves to be, he will always leave traces of what you may hold on to.

Vikkyk10:
My boo said sm1 wants to take im away 4rm me.I dnt knw wat it means.Daddy,am crios o.

Pls expantiate...

Vikkyk10:
does that mean i cn tel u anytin.

Well, I will try to respond, according to HIS ability in me.

Vikkyk10:
hm

Abi, what do you want me to say?

Meanwhile, I am taking my time to reply to all the text messages sent. Some are cumbersome and to make matters worse, not complete. Some are too real to be true, but will still get responses. Others that are straight forward, I have replied. So, if I have not replied yours, please have a little patience.

Meanwhile, if you sent in incomplete sms, pls do resend, and ensure it is complete. That way, you will get immediate response.

There is nothing you cannot discuss with me, as I dont need your name or address. If you are not comfortable with the phone number, put it here, but make sure your identity is secured. Thats my concern.

May GOD help us all.

tuffgongjo:
clap for your self,you deserve an Oscar.

You are welcome!

"Nice thread, but expect more sarcastic comments". Thats what a friend just told me.

tuffgongjo:
You forget to add "and a Dickkk to Ride"to your caption.

The Holy Book says, "the heart of man is desparately wicked. More wicked than one can imagine". It justifies the filthy nature of your self acclaimed righteousness before GOD. It also says, "out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh". Havent you shown to me the kind of person that you are now, by what you just spew out?

I am not a saint, in fact, not close to one, but as a RESPONSIBLE married man with kids, I know my limits.

Vikkyk10:
it's nt been easy,but i wl try al dis ok.Tnx a lot

There is no relationship that is easy, but we all try to make it work. Where it is one sided, then, we all know there is problem in our hands. GOD will see you through.

Enjoyment1:
Haba! Leave it here for all to read, and learn. Why ask for text.

Nothing attached. Do I really care about the source of communication?

My Dear, I dont want to scare you. I was in same situation for 12 years, but today, we are both married to two different people. In most cases, it doesnt work. I will say it the way it is. Mine was the sweetest, yet, I have not recovered from it (tho married to another angel).

Long distant relationship comes with pains, loneliness and sometimes mistrust. You will need huge trust, and believe you get commitment to get this going. I dont know your faith, but you need prayers, and if chanced, read books on long distance relationships.

My own practical experience was fun whenever she was around, and mistrust, if any relented in keeping to laid down agreement.

My little advise here is that, you need to sit him down, define the relationship, and agree on certain things that will make the affair work. That way, it will be a guide or your relationship constitution. Above all these, you need to set a time frame for your relationship. It is very important. What I mean is that, let him know that, you expect the both of you to be married by a certain period, or year. When you do this, guide him to work towards this direction. In some cases, its not compulsory that it may happen within that time frame, but you will see all pointers directed towards that end. When you see such, know that you are on the right path. If not, the decision to continue or part ways lies with you.

edozie04:
Good but I rather trust a devil that I know thn an angel I do nt knw

HE created the Earth, becos he wanted to (OPTION). When Adam and Eve where in the garden of Eden, HE gave free hand to choose to eat from the tree HE forbade or not (OPTION). HE gave every man the right to choose whom to serve (OPTION). HE went to empower every man to choose whom to marry (OPTION). The only man HE never gave (OPTION) to was the devil, whom you have decided to choose to trust. As the Holy Book says, he is the father of all lies, and evil. So, I have the (OPTION), of not taking you serious. Its your choice, and I have mine.

edozie04:
Good but I rather trust a devil that I know thn an angel I do nt knw

HE created the Earth, becos he wanted to (OPTION). When Adam and Eve where in the garden of Eden, HE gave free hand to choose to eat from the tree HE forbade or not (OPTION). HE gave every man the right to choose whom to serve (OPTION). HE went to empower every man to choose whom to marry (OPTION). The only man HE never gave (OPTION) to was the devil, whom you have decided or choose to trust. As the Holy Book says, he is the father of all lies, and evil. So, I have the (OPTION), of not taking you serious.

"There is nothing new under the sun", so says the Holy Book. Before you take any action, or react to that action, THINK, is it really worth it? Life is full of pain, shame, and to a few, endless luxury.

If you decide to take laws into your hands, can you withstand the aftermath?

For the fact that he/she says you are not his/her class, does it make you less human?

He/she who removes his/her rubber carpet from your bossom, dont you think that, he/she wants GOD to now come in with HIS rug carpet?

This life is simple, yet, the most complicated. Live it right, while the offer last.

In summary, no situation is worth your tears!.

"There is nothing new under the sun", so says the Holy Book. Before you take any action, or react to that action, THINK, is it really worth it? Life is full of pain, shame, and to a few, endless luxury.

If you decide to take laws into your hands, can you withstand the aftermath?

For the fact that he/she says you are not his/her class, does it make you less human?

He/she who removes his/her rubber carpet from your bossom, dont you think that, he/she wants GOD to now come in with HIS rug carpet?

This life is simple, yet, the most complicated. Live it right, while the offer last.

In summary, no situation is worth your tears!

edozie04:
Lol....joker,advicer ko,advicer ni

In a Yoruba adage, it is said, "one uses the experiences of others to shape and live his/her life". As a counsellor in my little capacity, there is nothing anyone will say, that is new to me.

In fact, I am used to such sarcastic comment. Its not new bro...and it may interest you. I woke up to see eleven (11) sms in respective to this post.