₦airaland Forum

Last 2 years God blessed me wit a business idea and then wit the support of my husband we started it. To my surprise the business was successful but due to the fact that I had no funds for location of our office yet I had to ask my elder brother who live overseas for financial assistance but he refused.

After awhile when my mum spoke to him to invest in the business he accepted to fund the business with a condition that i will start the business in his company name and I will be marketing the business for him & selling for him abd also teach my younger brother (ie who just finished NYSC and was still job hurting) here in nigeria & that my younger brother managers the business for him; and in return I can sqwart in their office and sell my own business to my already existing customers. I felt bad and the condition but Becos I was desperate to have a location to sqwart my business until I raise funds to get my own office space ; I decided to over look it and agreed.

2 months after the business started customers were not really visiting his office yet becos his company was still new but my previous customers kept calling and looking for my own company in his office where i was sqwarting wit him ; it grew envy and jealousy to the extent dat my mum began to call me and pressurize me to teach my brother the business so dat too can be selling so I began to teach him. But still the envy grew them I started to share wotever my business sold into 2 till their business grows.

After their business grew to some extent I then said I was not going to keep sharing all dat I made wit them I now became the enemy of the family .

Her hubby and her got married last year and both of them were without a job at the time but her hubby was a real estate agent. Like abt 3 months after der wedding my frd had to go back to her parents house becos things became very difficult for her and hubby as they could barely afford 3 square meal coupled with d fact dat she was already pregnant wit der first child.

Her hubby visited her at parents house weekly while he was job hurting. After abt 6 months she gave birth while in her parents house and parents helped to foot her hospital bill. The next month my frnd by applying for her hubby in an organization; God finally gave him a job january this year and then he took his family from hiS inlaws house back him.

Within 3 months my frnd's hubby brought his mother from d viiage to live first on the grounds of Ill health and later he concluded She was going to be living with permanently. His mother would complain abt his wife to him and hiS other siblings at every given opportunity to the extent dat my Frnd became uncomfortable in her hubby's house.

Her mother inlaw inSiSted she wanted to start her buSiness in her son's houSe. My frnd waS not working at d time as she waS still nurSing her baby. My frnd was broken hearted that her hubby who she suffered wit cared lesS of her feelingS. He became arrogant towards my frnd always and he even beat her up in froont of his mother at a time underminding she waS 3 months parent with der second child. After awhile my frnd finally got a job . She never hide her salary from her hubby instead sometimes she would give him to hold it for her and he uses it in providing for d family needs. After few months my frnd lost her job.

Just yesterday my frnd called me to tell me her hubby who she had been praying for to hit a business contract dat got him a large amount of money but he hide it from his wiFe without telling her and even would quarrel over 200 naira she used from his money. My frnd was crying to me on the phone how come the one man she trusted could hurt her so bad.

What do I counsell her?

her buSiness in her son's houSe. My frnd waS not working at d time as she waS still nurSing her baby. My frnd was broken hearted that her hubby who she suffered wit cared lesS of her feelingS. He became arrogant towards my frnd always and he even beat her up in froont of his mother at a time underminding she waS 3 months parent with der second child. After awhile my frnd finally got a job . She never hide her salary from her hubby instead sometimes she would give him to hold it for her and he uses it in providing for d family needs. After few months my frnd lost her job.

Just yesterday my frnd called me to tell me her hubby who she had been praying for to hit a business contract dat got him a large amount of money but he hide it from his wiFe without telling her and even would quarrel over 200 naira she used from his money. My frnd was crying to me on the phone how come the one man she trusted could hurt her so bad.

What do I counsell her?

Her hubby and her got married last year and both of them were without a job at the time but her hubby was a real estate agent. Like abt 3 months after der wedding my frd had to go back to her parents house becos things became very difficult for her and hubby as they could barely afford 3 square meal coupled with d fact dat she was already pregnant wit der first child.

Her hubby visited her at parents house weekly while he was job hurting. After abt 6 months she gave birth while in her parents house and parents helped to foot her hospital bill. The next month my frnd by applying for her hubby in an organization; God finally gave him a job january this year and then he took his family from hiS inlaws house back him.

Within 3 months my frnd's hubby brought his mother from d viiage to live first on the grounds of Ill health and later he concluded She was going to be living with permanently. His mother would complain abt his wife to him and hiS other siblings at every given opportunity to the extent dat my Frnd became uncomfortable in her hubby's house.

Her mother inlaw inSiSted she wanted to start her buSiness in her son's houSe. My frnd waS not working at d time as she waS still nurSing her baby. My frnd was broken hearted that her hubby who she suffered wit cared lesS of her feelingS. He became arrogant towards my frnd always and he even beat her up in froont of his mother at a time underminding she waS 3 months parent with der second child. After awhile my frnd finally got a job . She never hide her salary from her hubby instead sometimes she would give him to hold it for her and he uses it in providing for d family needs. After few months my frnd lost her job.

Just yesterday my frnd called me to tell me her hubby who she had been praying for to hit a business contract dat got him a large amount of money but he hide it from his wiFe without telling her and even would quarrel over 200 naira she used from his money. My frnd was crying to me on the phone how come the one man she trusted could hurt her so bad.

What do I counsell her?

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@seahawk thank you for your advice. I appreciate. God bless you

Last 2 months my mother inlaw came to lagos to visit us for the first time in our marriage ( got married last year ). According to my hubby he said his mother was not feeling well and would want to treat her in lagos. I accepted and was excited to host my mother inlaw.

When she came since june I had been trying my best to please her, but she keeps complaining of how her son abondoned her in the village and that it was her daughters in the village that insisted she came over to stay with her son here in lagoS. Whenever she is talking I ignore these Statements, but since I'm a house wife with a 9 months old baby, whenever my hubby goes to work and I and my motherinlaw are in the sitting room she starts with her complains.

Its now been 3 months she came, the doctor has confirmed her perfectly fine. Now she is asking her son to get a shade where she can start her business. According to her she was going to ask her frnd to send her fufu goods thru transport from benin to lagos. When she said this I asked my husband and he said his mother can stay as long as possible but she will not do bizness here, so I kept quite.

One eveningly the PHCN seized the light and I had tot to the sitting room I asked my mother inlaw why she didn'kt carry her since she was also in the sittingroom at the time she told me to my face that "I am not your housegirl".

Just yesterday while I was talking about asking my my mum to bring my little niece to come stay with us, so that she can be staying with us, so that she can be helping me carry my baby while I do other house chores. My mother inlaw started shouting at me saying she does not want to see any of my family members in her son's house , that she does not want to see any one in this house that she is here and look at me I have just giving birth to just 1 child and I am saying I want someone to to stay with etc.

When my hubby got back and I told wat his mother said he started shouting supporting his mother . I am hurt and don't knw wot to do since my hubby supports his mother in everything.

In Jesus name Amen. God bless you @micfoley for your encouragement and prayers.

Last 2 months I got a job after abt 1 years of unending such for a job. But after I got the job I discovered I was pregnant, unforunately I worked as a P.A, when my boss found out I was pregnant she laid me off giving the excuse that She will not be comfortable sending me on errands again knowing I'm pregnant. I got home hurt but decided to move on.

As an act of respect I give my hubby my salary . But to my surprise after a few weeks I asked my hubby for 100 naira to hold while he was abt leaving to work, he refused to give me saying dat I don,t need money on me since I'm at home and there is enough food in the house for the day. I felt so bad n hurt when my little baby of 9 months was tasty dat same day n when I went to the fridge to get water I noticed that there was no single pure water left, I had to boil ordinary water for her to drink.

Just yesterday my hubby told me he was given a sack letter at work on friday. We are so worried, as we have bills to pay our houserate and so on. I also got a job invite at VI while stay at satellite town . My hubby asked me to go but I don't want to following the Stress of distance and my pregnant status. Pls wat do you think I do. Thanks

I got a job as a school administrator within my area two months ago without knowing I was already pregnant. I enjoy my job and every day I am researching on how I can improve the school but suddenly I observed I was about 2 months pregnant and I told the director due to the fact that I work directly with her as her PA and School administrator .

one major reason I told her was because I felt she was a pastor and she might not be angry but to my surprise after I told her attitude changed towards me she instructed the principal to issue a probation letter of 3 months to me, and also she told me DAT I would go and rest and DAT I would not be benefitical to them. the worst part is DAT she had be acting cold towards me and has taken off most of my duties from me. I feel bad and I don't know what to do now.
pls do you advice I do especially now to secure a job is only by God's grace.

No, not at all I was not told anything about that and
they didn't tell me if there was a rule like that or not. she only mentioned that if only I had been working with them long be4 I got pregnant she would have not said anything.

I got a job as a school administrator within my area two months ago without knowing I was already pregnant. I enjoy my job and every day I am researching on how I can improve the school but suddenly I observed I was about 2 months pregnant and I told the director due to the fact that I work directly with her as her PA and School administrator .

one major reason I told her was because I felt she was a pastor and she might not be angry but to my surprise after I told her attitude changed towards me she instructed the principal to issue a probation letter of 3 months to me, and also she told me DAT I would go and rest and DAT I would not be benefitical to
them. the worst part is DAT she had be acting cold towards me and has taken off most of my duties from me. I feel bad and I don't know what to do now.
pls do you advice I do especially now secure it a job is only by God's grace.

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yesterday I and my hubby had a dispute abt his mother coming over to our house in Lagos becks I asked him for how long his mother would be staying, following the fact DAT we are just a new couple abt 1 year old in marriage.

this morning while he was preparing for work I tried to let him know my reasons for asking the duration of his mother stay at our place and DAT i'm not against his mother coming over to visit but her visit should be for a duration and not to stay.

while explaining my reasons , I took him of one or two periods I counted on him to stand by me DAT he failed me. reason one : when one of our neighbors had a dispute with me when he was at work and at night while my hubby was returning from work; dat my neighbor met my husband on the stair case and told him I had a dispute with her, to my greatest surprise my husband came home and started shouting at me not even asking me of my own side of the story. I felt heart broken and disappointed that my own husband could believe an outsider over his own wife, knowing DAT I had Neva had an dispute with any neighbors before .

second reason: was when I went for an interview and was stranded at the interview becos I had exhausted all the money I had on me on tfare going there, after the interview I called my husband to tell him I was stranded and had no money to come back home , to my surprise my hubby said to me over the phone " what to you want me to do; find your way". again he disappointed me and I felt bad, I had to call my elder sisteu to assist me.

all these above reasons made me defensive when he told me his mother was coming over to our place. becos i felt he could team up with his mother and frustrate me in our house especially since they are Edo while I'm Igbo.

now today he got back from work and I saw a slippers and a snack I normally like he bought. soi taught he bought them for me but rather he kept the slippers at the shoe rack without even telling me if he bought th em for me or not. and when I asked him about the snack he ignored me . I'm beginning to wonder is this the man I married .

This evening my husband came back from work and told me his mother is coming over from Benin to our home in Lagos next week. I was shocked at his rush decision without prior discussions with me.

Although, he had planned bringing her to come visit us becos she not visited us since we got married a year ago. so as to be sure , I asked my husband how look she will be staying and he started shouting at me; calling me names and saying his mother can come and stay in his house for as long as she wants . then, I reminded him DAT its not wise telling his mother to come and stay with us for as long as she likes knowing that we are just a newly married couple April this year made it 1year we got married.

pls I'm worried abt my mother inlaw coming to stay with us for as long as she likes the especially when I remember she is Edo while I'm Igbo.

pls wot do I do

There is no such thing as the perfect couple no matter how good things may seem. Every couple will experience some sort of problem in their relationship. Let’s take a quick look at some of the top relationship problems . 1). Cheating - Cheating is a very common relationship problem. Being unfaithful can lead to further problems and a lot of times causes many relationships to end. 2) Lack of Trust - Another common relationship problem is lack of trust. A lot of people find it hard to trust the person they are with. With this lack of trust, it can make the relationship complicated and cause further issues. 3) Little to No Communication - It takes communication to make a relationship work. when there is little or no communication in the relationship, the relationship itself can’t thrive and become something greater. Other problems may also occur because of little communication. 4) Jealousy - A lot of people may not think jealousy is a big problem but it can grow into a big issue enough to where it can destroy a relationship. If one or both partners find themselves in a jealous rage all the time, the relationship can’t grow into a healthy one and more problems can occur. Constant Arguments - If you are in a relationship, there is a good chance that you have argued with your partner before. It isn’t always a bad thing because making up after the argument can help to build a stronger bond and strengthen the relationship itself. However, some couples constantly argue. They may argue over any little thing at any given time. This is when there really is a big problem and sadly, there are many couples out there that constantly argue with each other. 5) Abuse - Unfortunately, physical, verbal, and mental abuse can be present in a relationship. when it is, it is a big problem, especially physical abuse. In any case, any abuse should be dealt with immediately. 6) Being Controlling - A partner can become controlling and want to control the other partner and the relationship. This is a big problem. A relationship can’t grow when one wants to control everything and the other spouse has no say in anything. 6) Negativity - A lot of negativity in a relationship is an issue. A partner may always look at the negative side of everything or constantly criticize, nitpick, and nag. 7) Gossiping & Confiding in Everyone Else But The One They Are With - A lot of times, a partner may talk about what is going on in the relationship to friends, family, and other people. It is not always a bad thing but it can get out hand especially when the stuff that is said is negative, spiteful, or just dishonest. Sometimes, they may talk about what is going on in the relationship to seek some advice or input , which again isn’t all that bad but it can be when they can’t even go to the one they are having the problems with and discuss it one on one. They make it a habit to confide in others first and then their partner last. The Blame Game - Sometimes one or both partners like to play the blame game. They may put the blame on the other for various things. Some examples of this goes something like this. “It’s your fault we don’t get to go out much” “You are the reason I am angry”, I blame you for causing me to not be able to trust you”. sometimes a partner may put the blame on their partner for no valid reason at all or they do it out of spite. 9). Lack of Affection and/or Intimacy - Showing affection and being intimate in a relationship is something that should be done. Intimacy isn’t necessarily needed in some cases but sometimes when there is little to no intimacy, it can be a problem. Even though sex isn’t something that makes a relationship it can help to strengthen bonds and fulfill desires. Showing affection also helps to express feelings and strengthen each other bonds. When either is lacking or not present at all, it may impact the relationship in a negative way because for a lot of couples, affection and intimacy are indeed important. 10). Money - Sometimes a couple can experience some financial problems in a relationship. Sometimes a partner may want more and more money from their partner. In any case, having money issues in a relationship can cause conflicts. 11) Family & Friends - Family and friends can have a negative impact on a relationship. They may be against the relationship, may give bad relationship advice, may be too nosy, or even be more important the relationship itself. 12) The Past - It is hard for a relationship to move forward when the past has some influence on it. Often, a partner may have some issues with the past which can often affect their current relationship in a negative way. Bad past relationship experiences have been known to be an issue in new relationships when one is stuck in the past and having a hard time making the relationship they are in work to the fullest. 13) Relationship Not a Big Priority - There are a lot of things that can get in the way of a couples time they can spend together. Work, kids, hanging with friends, etc. It is OK if this happens every now and then but when other things always come before the time a couple can spend together, this is a problem. To sum it up, when a partner puts everything else before the relationship, this can be bad. So let's talk about what your going thru and offer the best advice possible to you. so kindly share don't die in silence pls oooo especially the ladies /wives..

Great morning pinkylicuous here are Ways to Cultivate Trust in a Relationship

1. Be Loyal - Trust will be improbable, if not impossible, if the relationship brings with it a history of infidelity. A relationship shrouded with adulterous beginnings, is destined to fail. A relationship with secrets is also destined for failure. If you have infidelities in your past, it doesn’t mean that you are unworthy of trust. If you hide them, it does.

2. Build Self-Esteem and Confidence - Building
confidence in the relationship itself is important, but it is just as important to build your partner’s confidence in him/herself. Taking the time to compliment your partner, especially in front of others, shows you are willing to go out on a limb for him/her. Showing an interest in your partner’s hobbies or interests says "you mean more to me than anyone else." This cultivates trust. It eliminates the doubt that comes with
superficiality. It expresses clearly that you are not
the center of your own universe. It bridges the gap between feeling and knowing. With adequate confidence, a person is freer to trust not only him/herself, but to trust you. Trust allows you to give freely, without expectations for something in return.

3. Forgive - Forgiveness builds insurmountable trust. Do you say you can forgive but you cannot forget? What a wicked dart the un-forgetful mind throws at the inner sanctity of trust. Harbored resentment, grudges, and other negative emotions of the same ilk, only serve dis-allusion and skepticism. Retaliation, vengeance, and
expectations are their by-product. If you want someone to trust you, you need to leave bad memories at the doormat. Once an apology is made, accept it. If you say you accept it, then you must live out that acceptance. Otherwise, you will not be trusted.

I hope I helped you with my advice. thanks for sharing your issue with us.

There is no such thing as the perfect couple no matter how good things may seem. Every couple will experience some sort of problem in their relationship.

Let’s take a quick look at some of the top relationship problems .

1). Cheating - Cheating is a very common relationship problem. Being unfaithful can lead to further problems and a lot of times causes many relationships to end.

2) Lack of Trust - Another common relationship problem is lack of trust. A lot of people find it hard to trust the person they are with. With this lack of trust, it can make the relationship complicated and cause further issues.

3) Little to No Communication - It takes communication to make a relationship work. when there is little or no communication in the relationship, the relationship itself can’t thrive and become something greater. Other problems may also occur because of little communication.

4) Jealousy - A lot of people may not think jealousy
is a big problem but it can grow into a big issue
enough to where it can destroy a relationship. If
one or both partners find themselves in a jealous
rage all the time, the relationship can’t grow into
a healthy one and more problems can occur.
Constant Arguments - If you are in a relationship,
there is a good chance that you have argued with
your partner before. It isn’t always a bad thing
because making up after the argument can help
to build a stronger bond and strengthen the
relationship itself. However, some couples constantly argue. They may argue over any little thing at any given time. This is when there really is a big problem and sadly, there are many couples out there that constantly argue with each other.

5) Abuse - Unfortunately, physical, verbal, and mental abuse can be present in a relationship. when it is, it is a big problem, especially physical abuse. In any case, any abuse should be dealt with immediately.

6) Being Controlling - A partner can become controlling and want to control the other partner and the relationship. This is a big problem. A relationship can’t grow when one wants to control everything and the other spouse has no say in anything.

6) Negativity - A lot of negativity in a relationship is
an issue. A partner may always look at the negative side of everything or constantly criticize, nitpick, and nag.

7) Gossiping & Confiding in Everyone Else But The
One They Are With - A lot of times, a partner may
talk about what is going on in the relationship to
friends, family, and other people. It is not always
a bad thing but it can get out hand especially
when the stuff that is said is negative, spiteful, or
just dishonest. Sometimes, they may talk about
what is going on in the relationship to seek some
advice or input , which again isn’t all that bad
but it can be when they can’t even go to the one
they are having the problems with and discuss it
one on one. They make it a habit to confide in
others first and then their partner last.

The Blame Game - Sometimes one or both partners like to play the blame game. They may put the blame on the other for various things.
Some examples of this goes something like this.
“It’s your fault we don’t get to go out much” “You are the reason I am angry”, I blame you for causing me to not be able to trust you”. sometimes a partner may put the blame on their partner for no valid reason at all or they do it out of spite.

9). Lack of Affection and/or Intimacy - Showing
affection and being intimate in a relationship is something that should be done. Intimacy isn’t
necessarily needed in some cases but sometimes
when there is little to no intimacy, it can be a problem. Even though sex isn’t something that makes a relationship it can help to strengthen bonds and fulfill desires. Showing affection also helps to express feelings and strengthen each other bonds. When either is lacking or not present at all, it may impact the relationship in a negative way because for a lot of couples, affection and intimacy are indeed important.

10). Money - Sometimes a couple can experience some
financial problems in a relationship. Sometimes a
partner may want more and more money from
their partner. In any case, having money issues in
a relationship can cause conflicts.

11) Family & Friends - Family and friends can have a
negative impact on a relationship. They may be
against the relationship, may give bad relationship
advice, may be too nosy, or even be more
important the relationship itself.

12) The Past - It is hard for a relationship to move
forward when the past has some influence on it.
Often, a partner may have some issues with the
past which can often affect their current relationship in a negative way. Bad past relationship experiences have been known to be an issue in new relationships when one is stuck in the past and having a hard time making the relationship they are in work to the fullest.

13) Relationship Not a Big Priority - There are a lot of
things that can get in the way of a couples time
they can spend together. Work, kids, hanging with
friends, etc. It is OK if this happens every now and then but when other things always come before the time a couple can spend together, this is a problem. To sum it up, when a partner puts everything else before the relationship, this can be bad.

So let's talk about what your going thru and offer the best advice possible to you. so kindly share don't die in silence pls oooo especially the ladies /wives..

Infertility is said to occur when a woman is unable to get pregnant after trying unsuccessfully for at least a year. This is a common problem that affects a large number of couples who wish to have a child. Infertility is also diagnosed when a woman experiences repeated miscarriages.

Causes of female infertility:
1. Poor quality of the eggs scarring of the ovaries.
2. Problems in the follicles which prevent rupture and release of the eggs
3. Blockages in the fallopian tubes due to infection, disease, ectopic pregnancy or cogential irregularities.
4. Poor diet such as smoking, alcohol consumption, drug abuse.
5. Inability to produce mature eggs.
6. Abnormalities in the uterus which make it difficult for the fertilized egg to implant itself into the uterine lining.
7. Problems in the functioning of the hypothalamus or pituitary gland which result in hormonal imbalances.

Remedies

Dong quai is a herb that helps to regulate menstruation. However, it should be used during the days of menstrual bleeding since it has blood thinning properties.
Brew for abt 10 minutes and then drink.

Another beneficial remedy for management of problems related to female physiological system such as uterine fibroids is warm castor oil or coconut oil massage on the abdominal area.

Research has it that Pure Virgin Coconut oil has a wide range of amazing benefits that can heal the most difficult health issue you can ever imagine.

At OME quality is our unique selling point that has kept us in the market for years now. we do delivery to all parts of Nigeria. You can also place your order.

50ml : N 300
100ml: N 550
250ml : N 1200
we also sale in dozen price.

Topic For Today: Premature Ejaculation.

Premature Ejaculation is a condition when a man Ejaculates prematurely before his spouse can attain a proper climax.
Older men suffer from this condition more often than the young. However, in today's world, many young men too suffer from this condition and live in fear and embarrassment. Luckily, there some natural treatments for this condition.

Solution:

White Onions can be used for treating premature Ejaculation as they have aphrodisiac qualities. Crush onion and mix with water and add half a teaspoon of coconut oil . Take it before you take food, three times a day. Taking this will improve your sexual stamina.

Written by Oluchi : A Renowned Botanist & Research Analyst at Nigerian Natural Medicine Development Agency( NNMDA) .

Tomorrow we will discussing Female Sterility or infertility. Stay tuned same time .....