₦airaland Forum

goofyone:
Do you see yourself as decent?

Yes but admitting it sounds like pride to me though.

carefreewannabe:
Do you think ladies haven't got hearts that can be broken?

Ladies can get heart broken. They experience such easily cause of their emotional makeup. The question should be have you experienced heartbreak before ?

carefreewannabe:
A decent young man then.

sounds better. Thanks for the compliment. What makes you think am decent ?

carefreewannabe:
He is a decent boy and I don't want to be a bad influence.

not a boy though

lol

carefreewannabe:
I don't think it has anything to do where you grew up. You chose to close your heart because you have been heart. It's a question of attitude.

you might not understand as you are a lady. It was painful.

carefreewannabe:
I respect your choice for religious and / or safety reasons but I wouldn't deprive myself of possible, interesting encounters and love (am not talking about s*ex) because of a heartbreak. Life goes on!

you grew up in Deutschland, I grew up in 9ja. Different orientation. By the way am too young to be thinking of any relationship self.

uzolexis:
Lol...very cold

and Lagos is hot this night. Take care and protect your self properly

carefreewannabe:
It's not about us ladies, it's about you. Anyway, your choice.

I have lady friends, a lot of them but going intimate is not for me. Once chose to go celibate and become a missionary but then my body said otherwise. I will definitely fall one day.

uzolexis:
Ok o, Good luck 2 ur new found country

thank you.

How is Belgium this night your own new found country

carefreewannabe:
Chicken

You miss out a lot.

what do ladies have to offer that you think am missing ?

carefreewannabe:
Flaws can make people interesting. Perfection is boring and doesn't exist in this world.

the condition of my heart says otherwise

uzolexis:
WE So u don turn Algerian baa?

for this tournament

carefreewannabe:
ONLY TWO WEEKS? Come on, this isn't long.

it was for me cause it was the first and only heartbreak. Not planning on opening up again

uzolexis:
Yeah, Algeria meant biz in d 2nd half.

that is how #we would win the tournament.

Mynd44:
Freshly cut grass
The smell after the first drops of rain on a dusty field

same as me....nature is beautiful

Women allover the world have shown to be gold diggers and Ronaldo can't be an exception after all he is a fine boy with money.

uzolexis:
Amen

Amen

bukatyne:
Sorry...

I know How intense a guy loves when he wants to especially his first love and How our ladies play with it and start chasing love when they are old.

You have got to forgive her for hurting you, forgive yourself for falling for her and decide to start again.

I like the fact that you want to heal and have a total rehaul before venturing into the dating field again.

Praying to God to heal you helps a lot; He is very very ready to heal you. That is step 1.

I believe there is someone out there destined to be a perfect fit for you... however note that even though she is a perfect fit, she is not perfect just as you are not perfect too.

But first, you need the healing/overhaul so you can love selflessly again.

Thank you so much. I harbour no hate whatsoever. I need the healing/overhaul process to be done with before I try again. For now, I just keep the good ones as friends and discard those I don't like.

I believe when am ready again, God will do a perfect job. I don't expect her to be perfect cause that would be harsh of me.
I hardly go private on social media but because of you, I decided to and it was worth it. Thanks for being a blessing.

bukatyne:
OK then

I want to believe that the girl was the sis to the guy that's why things turned out that way... If it was your bro who caught you both, it would have been humiliating for the girl in question.

@Heartbreak, What caused it?

He was the brother. I decided to try again. Was deep into it but she wasn't cause she preferred another guy.

bukatyne:
Would like to read the details, don't want to assume anything

Take care and Good night.

Mizmycoli's write-up on love has made me decide
to share why I locked up my heart to love for so
long. It all began in 2007, I spent the holidays at an
aunt's place and on that fateful day, I was caught by
the younger brother of a girl also staying in the flat
doing immoral things(mind you nothing like
Penetration, just body touching)as my hormones
had just started to develop. We were reported and
blamed, punished but the annoying thing about that
phase of my life as a young boy was how the whole
situation was heaped on me. I decided to start
snubbing females and that was helped by the fact
that I was attending a boys only boarding school.
When I graduated, I had been so locked up I didn't
even notice, I was cold to girls and treated them as
guys.
It all changed when I met a true female intellectual.
She took the better part of two months convincing
me to give love a chance. I finally succumbed but
met a terrible heartbreak. So severe was it that it
took two weeks for me to get over it. I will love one
day but for now, I have decided to forgo that
passion till am through with my academics and
trainings.

That is a more detailed explanation .

bukatyne:
OK then, do you care to share?

the last paragraph is the summary. A detailed explanation in in my diary, will try to sort it out for you maybe later

bukatyne:
Past life ke? YOU Don come world before

Why are you fault finding?

Would like to hear your previous experiences and start from there

life is a journey. An experience along the way.

I don't fault find humans but in terms of relationship with the opposite, I think my mind isn't ready yet cause even if I have met her, she wouldn't stand chance.

Well I was accused (over accused ) because of what happened between myself and a girl then. Was very young then. The hate developed and could have been minimal but I attended a boys only school, boarding house for that matter and that worsened and strained my relationship with the opposite.

bukatyne:
What is your orientation towards ladies?

its becoming too much ......(just me thinking aloud)...

I don't fancy ladies. They kinda bore me. A past life experience though. Am getting over it but then...

Let me illustrate...if I see a lady anywhere, no matter how beautiful or caring I look out for faults. Cause of my analytical mind, I find faults easily and then the feelings poof......hope you get sha ??

well since I have to get married to keep my body from getting burnt, I will simply ask God as I have being doing for a good woman. All this dating and all that is time wasting to me and I wont be testing ladies about. I need to change my orientation about ladies before its too late sha.

another love story gone sour.

uzolexis:
I really like this thread. I had began 2 develop marriage n relationship phobia cos of stories I hear and a terrible experience I just had recently. This thread kinda gives me hope....but i'm still on a relationship break sha, don't know when i'll put myself out there again, I just wanna be in my shell, I feel so safe here,like no one can hurt me.

get ready to come out of that shell. Remember its a year of settlement

carefreewannabe:
Did I ever deny it?



Very well said!

Dwelling on the past, hatred, racism, tribalism, religious fanatism are counterproductive and help NOBODY!

United we stand.

I even have the dream and vision of a united, global community, world peace but we are far from that for now.



The Civil War in Rwanda was really dreadful.
I am happy they are developing now even though I am sure that when you have a closer look, people have not completely overcome the past.

But yes, people need to unite and support each other instead of being hostile. It will go a long way.

People should also try to focus more on allies and friends, rather than on (imaginary) enemies.
Hatred leads to destruction. And all these conspiracy theories I read here on NL make me sick.



Good idea.



I agree.

Thank you for your analysis.

well not really but you love showing off Germany in words like ' where I stay, things work' lol

Rwanda can only get better.


Nairaland is just a figment of the things that happen in Nigeria. Nigeria can only get better.

Thank for reading through.

carefreewannabe:
What can we learn from the other African countries you have mentioned?

wow...finally you admitted being Nigerian.

South Africa put the past of apartheid behind the. and joined hands with the west to build a nation of their dreams although they still have problems but they are the most advanced country in Africa. The north and the south should team up to build the country we can all be proud of. The north should forgo the born to rule mentality just as the whites did in South Africa and the South should shun tribalism, religious fanaticism and nepotism so that all will be better for us.

Rwanda had a very terrible period in their nationhood. The civil war mainly between the hutus and Tutsis in which a lot of people died mostly women and children sent a wrong signal to the rest of the world. A lot of people thought it would take a longer time for them to ever recover but guess what they have a better economic outlook and GDP compared to Nigeria (contestable ). We once had a civil war and the pains of that is still being felt today. The Igbo who were the worse hit still hold grudge against the west especially cause of the role it played during that time. Its time they let go for us to move onward from our past.

We could copy South Africa in the Area of local manufacturing and power generation and power distribution.

We could copy Rwanda's attitude towards nepotism, corruption, greed and the way they love each other .

carefreewannabe:
Why does learning from other countries has to be restricted to African countries?

I didn't mean it that way. In Africa, those are the only countries we can learn from. We can also learn from the developed nations of the world.

carefreewannabe:
The best are a good yardstick to achieve greatness.

The term "Giant of Africa" is overrated, though.

Of course, apart from South Africa and Rwanda, no other African country we can learn from.

Overrated or not, we really are

carefreewannabe:
Nigerians should learn from any other country that is better developed, there are many of them and from each a lesson or two can be learned.

nah....we should only learn from the best there is cause we are the giants of Africa.

After going through this thread, I thought been nice is good, now I know better. I have thrown niceness out and taking on the hard part.

A man provides for his family yet he is called lazy, At least the poster has learnt his lessons, Move on and achieve and you surely would get your respect back.

Men also get abused whether you have money or not. #fact.