bukatyne:


Happy new year and how are you & fam?

On divorce part: if a husband divorced his wife who had 4 kids and the wife remarried, the first husband was no longer the father of the existing children culturally? Were divorced women discriminated against or re-absorbed as 2nd to nth wives?

So the wives made money however spent as they deemed fit as the husbands were primary providers?

Olanna45, was the Umuada not operative in your culture?

This thread is really gonna be great.

** I have always had this stereotype of ancient Igbo wives staying at home and Igbo husbands been monogamous.

The umuadas were, but i tell you, they are stronger when it comes to victimizing their fellow women.... They can only step in and fight for the woman if the husband is a nobody or the girl's father is rich.

The pre colonial igbo man is not monogamous. He is respected by the number of yam barns he has, the number of wives and children he has, His flock of domestic animals, how many heads and slaves he brought home from wars.

Though times has changed when it comes to divorced women re marrying, before now, they are been stigmatized.

bukatyne:


Thanks a lot

I really appreciate your contributions,

So did Igbo women have inheritance in the husband's house? Some ancient women had inheritance in their husband's home though it was not transferrable.

Divorce : That Means divorce was frowned against seriously as if there are no female divorces, then there will be no male divorcees except the men just married more wives when they were tired of the current one.

So there was a lot of twerking then.

Are the women how marry these 'wives' married? Why do they bear the women's surnames?

So the culture is still same....

The husband's properties are hers as well. She the next in command if the husband is no more.

The man is allowed to marry and divorce as many times as he wants. but the woman is not permitted to do so.

Yes, the women might be married and the husband is no more, and she doesn't have a child for the husband. she adopts that method so that the husband's lineage will not go into extinction.

In some cases( let me illustrate this with a story) it invovles one of my secondary school class mate...

A man got married and had 5 daughters.. Due to the love his wife or maybe finance, he did not marry a second wife. He passed away after some years. The five daughter are all married and their mum very old.

Now, they both had a meeting and decided that instead of allowing their father's name to phase out,they agreed to go and get a wife in his name. Now they met this family whose daughter got pregnant out of wedlock. They dicussed with the family their plans and both the daughter and parents agreed to it. Marital rites was performed. traditional wedding took place, the lady gave the wine to the first daughter of the dead man( she stood in place of her father) After some months, the lady put to bed a baby boy.... And automatically the boy becomes the dead man's son. ( that is my classmate)
Th lady later have a boyfriend( maybe not just one sha) but she had other children apart from this my classmate. She had 6 kids all together. 4 boys and two girls. These children are considered as the deadman's children. who ever donated the sperm for their conception has no right over them. He is just a sperm donor.

bukatyne:


*hisses in Chinese*

Olanna45 is really sweating to type, na kiss and cuddle you fit contribute for the thread abi?

Oya shift

Lol. Seriously ma'am i suck at typing.

bukatyne:


Thanks aND happy new year.

So for Igbos....

1. There was the drive to have a lot of sons
2. They were not involved in any decision making process
3. They did not plant cash crops or tap palm wine...
4. They were 2nd class citizens and must be submissive

Is the culture still same or have some things been done away with? What about divorce, polygamy, inheritance? I hear about a woman marrying a 'wife' for herself... can you explain? What did the women do for recreation? Pre-martial se.,X etc.

I am not talking on individual level, I am talking cultural.

1) Yes. The girl child is regarded as not being so important. Like she grows up, gets married its the male child who continues the lineage.

2) yes... They are not allowed, though there might some exceptions in this.

3) They are allowed to own cash crops, but they are not allowed to own yam barns...
Most atimes, the cash crops are given to them by their husbands so they feed their children with its proceeds.

4) yes. 2nd class citizen in the sense that the male child comes first.. His needs are considered to be more important.
As for submission, it is a must. Even if your husband is useless(sorry for the choice of word)

Coming to inheritance, an igbo woman has no inheritance in her father's house. There is a proverb which says "Onye iberibe amaghi na adanne ya bu obia"
A fool do not know that his elder sister is a visitor in their father's house"

Polygamy; A typical igbo man sees polygamy as an achievement. More wives, more sons, more yam barns.

Divorce: it is not allowed. A widow is more accepted in the pre colonial igbo society than a female divorceee... She will be tagged as a bad wife. No one cares to know the reason for the divorce.

Recreation;

The most common form recreation for the pre colonial woman is dancing. Dance groups are formed according to age grades.

Pre marital sex is a no no. If the husband finds out she has being deflowered before marriage, the man has the right to return her to her father's house and collect the bride price back. Such a lady will be stigmatized, the shame will be extended to the father and siblings. The father will portion the whole blame on the wife.


The issue of a woman' marrying' a wife for herself is very common in the pre colonial days and it is still been practiced by some communities today.

A barren woman might decide to marry a young lady, in most cases the ladies being married are those with unwanted pregnancies, divorcees, childless widows.. This lady is allowed to sleep with any man, once she concieves and put to bed, the child bears the name of the woman who married the mother... The father is just a sperm donor. He has no right over the child.

This mostly done by barren women, wonen who had only female children..

I really can't say that some of these practices has been done away with. Families these make the decision on how they wish to treat their girl child. But in a typical igbo community, nothing has changed.

bukatyne:
Happy new year peeps.

I like to read and have read life of women in ancient Greece, Sparta, Rome etc.

Who can help with lives of women in ancient /pre-colonial Yoruba, Igbo and Hausa tribes?

How did they interact with their husbands, earning power, rights, limitations etc.

It will be interesting learning about our fore

The little i know about the pre colonial igbo women....
They are seen as second class citizens in the family....They are groomed to help their husbands in farm work as well as to submissive to them. They dare not question his authority....The pre colonial igbo woman is respected by the number of sons she has for her husband...
They are not allowed to take part in decision making process of any kind in the community.

They are limited to planting of crops like cocoyam, maize, cassava etc. They are not allowed to plant crops like yam which is regarded as king of the crops...
They are not allowed to tap palm wine nor climb palm trees.



Source :Folk tales
novels like Things fall apart
Efuru.

Truly you have being changing the life of imolites. Negatively though. jide nke iji.

joedams:
I buy gas for #3500 per 12kg and it lasts more than 2 months before refilling. U guys should move off kero already. Haba!!

Were pls? because i bought 4800 for 10kg..

oscaruzie:
Vivian the Vampire...you seem to thrive on negative gist. you dey forbid to give sweet gist? try 'nice' once in a while abeg...

My brother i wonder ohh... Come viviangist, your blog dey forbid goodnews?

Nekwanu public disgrace ohhh!!

Thats a lady with self respect.

cococandy:
I can't count the number of married men that used to make advances at me when I was still in school. Some look obviously married. Some look young enough that you can't tell unless someone who knows them tells you.
That's how they are busy ignoring their wives and their wives are busy on their own end bringing home pregnancies that don't belong to them.
At the end of the day na wee wee.

Everyone is a winner...

How pathetic....

donparosky:
my brother, u get eye!wht I experienced today ehhhh. I supplied 50kegs of 25litres to one small boy in Zaria at 7k wif transportation around June Dis yr. he stored it and wanted to sale January next yr. I had to call d parents, pleading to talk to him after several calls cos a customer of mine from katsina wanted oil urgently. to cut d stories short, we had to beg like what before they accepted to sale @ 25k per cake for us and only 40kegs is what they can release. d guy made 1million naira plus extra 10kegs remaining without stress for goods I supplied @ 350k. If I had my ways, storage is d best buh I've got too many suppliers. just gather some cash down, once d price falls reasonably low, I wud inform d house so u can buy from any supplier in d house and store. good luck sir.

Pls i am interested in knowing when the price is down. pls can you give us a little insight on storage.

greenermodels:
my dear, men only do that when an aging retired runs girl start playing nice to them. they're actually running from the girl rather running to another girl

How do you know a lady is a retired LovePeddler playing nice?

I became financially independent, I got a job. i learnt a new skill. I took risky. Finally I am aluve typing this.

Men too are like that.They see a lady who is sincere and genuine, they mis treat her and tag her desperate or not up to standard. They tend to go for the fake ones camouflaged in 1001 shades lies and deceit just because they are classy...

Seriously, Alot of Nigerian men don't know what they want.

These days men are taking the lead in friendzoning.

I love this woman's marriage.

.

kaboninc:
Nothing wey we no go see for Nairaland!

Make una look ohh.. .




Then this guy responded.. ...





Now the op responded to Vanessa's post...



Now Ariesbull responded the op with the post below.




a
Still Vanessa commented with this!



Now, I wonder who really needs help!

seriously, NL is really not the best place to see for help. Alot of psychos hiding behind the screen of computers and cellphone. imagine advicing someone to cheat on the wife.

NIGHTMAREOO7:


U are getting something wrong here.
Yes intertribal marriages work
Buy wen its Yoruba woman and igbo man its always problem most times... It is a bitter truth.
Yoruba women fnt respect igbo men do to wat their parent tells them...

Of all the igboman/yorubawoman woman wedding I kno I can tell u less than 5% is smooth and successful..

Apart from op story.


Oc okeje wedding with yoruba woman is having issues.

Psquare family starts having issues after marring a yoruba woman.. The woman starts claiming psquare elder brother don't respect her.. Wat nonesence!

One of my distant uncle married yoruba woman now the man doesn't come back to d village again.

I know a friend who his brother mareid yoruba woman and its still d same story.

THIS IS THE BITTER TRUTH BUT U GUYS WILL JUST LOGIN HERE TO FORM "ONYEOMA CY".. JUST TO GAIN LIKE.. RUBBISH!

Apart from your uncle, every other person you used to cite an instance were you there to know their yourba wives is the cause of the fallout their marriages?

I am not after any cheap like, it doesn't put food on my table.
But all am saying us that this your generalization on igbo -yoruba marriages is wrong and not necessary.