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Adverts / Do You Need Professional Editing & Proofreading? by Oluchi007(f): 8:02am On Oct 25, 2012
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Adverts / Essay Writing Without Tears by Oluchi007(f): 12:31am On Jul 01, 2012
Need help with essay writing?

Whatever your academic level - secondary, undergraduate or postgraduate - I can help you produce a well-structured, logical and fluid essay that will fetch you a handsome grade.

If you need help rephrasing/proofreading your essays or anything else, send me an email (easyessay101@ymail.com).
Literature / Re: Do Nigerians Read/Buy Comic Books? by Oluchi007(f): 12:39am On Feb 09, 2012
It could work because generally speaking Nigerians don't read a lot. In that respect, images might sell. There is a lot to take into consideration, though, as a good number of posters have already mentioned. I wish you the very best.

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Literature / Re: Madness On The Highway by Oluchi007(f): 10:54pm On Feb 07, 2012
Thanks, Efemena. I haven't actually paid much attention to creative writing of recent. Need to get my mojo back. lol. Thanks again.
Literature / Re: Romeo And Juliet Naija-style by Oluchi007(f): 10:50pm On Feb 07, 2012
lol, that's a though; now Val is coming up I should write another adaptation.
Literature / Re: Campus Blues. . . . by Oluchi007(f): 7:31pm On Jan 09, 2012
I enjoyed reading it. Powerful description, but don't tell me that's the end! smiley
Literature / Re: Cuckold Content,, My Wife And My Friend by Oluchi007(f): 12:37pm On Jan 04, 2012
Nawa ooo. Five pounds can buy him off? shocked shocked

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Literature / Re: Madness On The Highway by Oluchi007(f): 11:28pm On Jan 03, 2012
@ maclatunji, But if I fill out every detail, I won't be giving the reader room for imagination.
Literature / Re: The Book Of Death by Oluchi007(f): 10:32pm On Jan 03, 2012
grin nice twist. Couldn't have guessed the rodent connection at the start.
Literature / Re: Madness On The Highway by Oluchi007(f): 10:23pm On Jan 03, 2012
Thanks MarcAnthon.
Literature / Re: Madness On The Highway by Oluchi007(f): 6:01pm On Jan 03, 2012
Thanks, raregem. I'm glad you liked it.
Literature / Re: Madness On The Highway by Oluchi007(f): 12:39pm On Jan 03, 2012
Thanks James. Don't worry, more will be coming. You can also check out my blog. I posted a few short stories.
Literature / Re: Madness On The Highway by Oluchi007(f): 2:43am On Jan 03, 2012
Waw waw waw waw

Loud wails of sirens flooded the air. Right behind us a convoy of official cars was racing down the road at top speed, edging out cars to the kerb.
Our driver, James Bond, sat put, his face hardset.
‘Driver, abeg give dem chance,’ one of the passengers implored.

[i]Waw waw waw waw waw[/i]The convoy was right behind us.

A koboko cracked on our roof. ‘My friend, move this car!’

A bunch of MOPOL bearing AK47s pulled up parallel to our bus in a Toyota Hilux van. Two policemen jumped down and ran towards our driver.
I nearly passed hot stool in my jeans.

‘You dey mad? Move this your zinc before I tear your head!’ one of the policemen roared at our placid driver.
For the first time a flash of emotions surfaced in James Bond’s eyes. He eyed the policemen as if he was a piece of rag. ‘I’d rather die and go to hell than move this bus,’ he spat at him.
The MOPOL was in disbelief. ‘Na me you dey talk to?! God punish you!’ The MOPOL swung the driver’s door open and dragged him onto the road in a rage.
‘Emabinu sir,’ one of the passengers began to plead.
‘Shut your dirty mouth!’ another MOPOL man cut her short.

We watched in horror as the MOPOL rammed his heavy leather boot into the driver’s chest repeatedly, while the other policemen heaved our car to the side of the road.
I needed to get away. ‘Open the door!’ I yelled at the boy seated next to it.
Now our driver was on his knees looking dazed, but he didn’t put up a resistance or plead. The MOPOL was now unleashing the full vent of his rage on the driver – whipping, kicking, slapping and blowing.

Suddenly a stream of blood started flowing – out of the crown of James Bond’s head, then his eyes, his nostrils, his mouth, then ears.
We, the passengers, were now out of the bus, and looked on in horror. The MOPOL too was frozen like a pillar of salt.
Bond clutched the silver chain around his neck then fell over abruptly like a log of wood.
I had to get away. I couldn’t let my curiosity get the best of me. My wobbly legs hurried towards the bridge.
‘Jesuuuuus!’ a voice screamed.
I didn’t want to look back. But I just had to one more time; James Bond must be - oh.my.God.
There was no James Bond. What I saw was a brownish-green lizard-like head. My mind reeled. That could not be James Bond. The 29-foot anaconda was slowly ingesting the head of the MOPOL that had been brutalising James Bond a while ago. The MOPOL’s body flailed and kicked wildly.
I almost fainted.
With the last strength in me, I spun around and dashed towards Eko bridge, my mind suspended in a vacuum of disbelief.
I heard a conductor shouting a destination, and then found myself on a bus.
It took several minutes for me to regain my spirit, and several more to notice that the bus driver had only one arm. But that was the least of my worries. I muttered a quick prayer. ‘Dear father, let me get home in once piece.’
Literature / Re: Madness On The Highway by Oluchi007(f): 5:49pm On Dec 31, 2011
Hehehe grin grin
Literature / Re: Madness On The Highway by Oluchi007(f): 12:20pm On Dec 31, 2011
Lol. The final part will be downloaded shortly. wink
Literature / Re: Madness On The Highway by Oluchi007(f): 2:58am On Dec 31, 2011
‘Funmi lowo jo!’
The agbaro boys were at it again. They closed in on our bus like a colony of ants closing in on their prey.
Their leader, a dark, scar-faced man with humongous muscles was glaring down at the driver, hand held out. ‘Oya oya, bring the money. No waste my time.’

The driver turned around slowly to look at his aggressor. ‘Do you know who you are talking to?’ he spoke in an impeccable, English accent.
The agbaro boy staggered back. His voice was far from steady when he bragged, ‘You think say I dey fear you?’
The driver’s head snapped back to the road. ‘Get your bloody hands off my bus,’ he commanded in a cool, menacing tone.
The agbaro’s arms fell limply to his side. Then suddenly he realised his boys were staring at him and he needed to save face. So he broke into a histrionic protest. ‘You think say I dey fear you because you carry beard like Osama? No be Lagos we dey? I go conquer you!! I go -’

We didn’t hang around to hear the rest of his sentence, the driver slammed his foot on the accelerator and we bolted onto the highway like a torpedo.
We whizzed past cars and buildings at such a dizzying speed that I could feel the akara I ate that morning rising up my chest.
‘James Bond, slow down,’ one of the more daring passengers murmured.
James Bond was hard of hearing. He swung from one lane to the other, tailing cars and sniffing the derrieres of heavy duty vehicles. I shut my eyes trying not to imagine what would happen if we rammed into the mammoth vehicles he was currently tailing. I wanted adventure, and here it was in its crudest form.

I opened my eyes just in time to witness the driver tearing past the red traffic lights as the Lastma officials alias ‘please give me the slightest reason to jump into your car and seize your keys’ watched on, passively. The passengers burst into laughter. They had gotten past the discomfort and were now beginning to enjoy the ride with Mr Bond.

The joy ride ground to a halt when we hit a spot of traffic at Victoria Island. Mr Bond scratched his head and fidgeted impatiently. ‘This traffic is pissing me off,’ he babbled to himself. He let out a lingering hiss then cut off the engine. At that moment an unfortunate MOPOL man, basking in his khaki-inspired bravado, banged on our bus. ‘WHERE THIS BUS DEY GO?’ he bellowed arrogantly.
Mr Bond did not indulge him with the slightest bit of attention. That riled the MOPOL man. ‘DRIVER I SAID-‘ his tongue lost its strength the minute he got a full frontal view of the driver. He took to his heels. We the passengers enjoyed a good laugh. Our driver was not only James Bond, he was also Mr Invincible.

The traffic soon began to slither along and Mr Bond resumed his maneouvering tactics. He edged cars out of the road, climbed pavements and slammed the pedal as if we had spare lives in our pockets. We were fairly confident that we would reach Obalende in one piece, but things took a turn for the worse when we got to Bonny camp. That was where nemesis caught up with Mr Bond.
Literature / Re: Help Needed Pls! by Oluchi007(f): 1:30am On Dec 31, 2011
Dariye, Google is your best friend in this case. There's loads of info you could find.

You can check out the link below. I once used it & it's fantastic.

All the best with your assignment.

http://www.sparknotes.com/lit/things/
Literature / Re: Madness On The Highway by Oluchi007(f): 7:15pm On Dec 30, 2011
lol, I'll continue it tomorrow. cool
Literature / Continue The (Lola) Story by Oluchi007(f): 2:31pm On Dec 30, 2011
Lola’s blood was sizzling. She had been standing under the fiery sun for an hour and there was no sign of a taxi.

Her spotless white shirt, which she had carefully chosen for her interview that afternoon, now had two clouds of perspiration right beneath her underarms.

She hissed loudly then lifted her wrist to look at her watch. It was 12.30pm. She needed to be at the office by 2pm.

‘God, I hate Lagos,’ she said aloud, not minding the other passengers standing beside her.
Literature / Re: Which Is Your Best Nigerian Novel? by Oluchi007(f): 2:12pm On Dec 30, 2011
The Last Duty - Isidore Okpevwo
The Concubine - Elechi Amadi
The Joys of Motherhood - Buchi Emecheta

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Jobs/Vacancies / Re: 117 Indian Workers In Nigeria Denied Salary By Firm by Oluchi007(f): 2:08pm On Dec 30, 2011
My uncle has actually been working for DSC since the 1980s. He said since the Indians took over they haven't been paid salaries & things have been horrendous. The owners of the Indian company are busy carting away as much cash as they possibly can before the company finally collapses. What is happening in DSC is very tragic. I didn't imagine the Indians would extend such inhumane treatment to their own people.
Forum Games / Re: Describe 2011 In One Word by Oluchi007(f): 2:03pm On Dec 30, 2011
Unfulfilling
Literature / Madness On The Highway by Oluchi007(f): 1:23am On Dec 30, 2011
Chei! If I had my way eh, I for press one hot conk into the head of the driver wey resemble opioro mango. He was sitting right in front of me, playing with his horn like the keys of a piano. If ant pass, my guy go jam finger for horn; if lizard pass, my guy go jam finger for horn.

My head was steadily inflating like a hot-air balloon. I was dying to snap at the driver and tell him, “Oga, if play play dey hungry you, you better go back to nursery school”, but I couldn’t. My fellow passengers were looking ever so calm and unperturbed, like the docile horses on Lagos’ beaches. If I let loose I would look like a lunatic. So with great effort, my teeth clamped down on my rattling tongue, giving it no moment of respite so that it couldn’t spit venom into the driver’s ear.

The potent voice of the late Afrobeat King, Fela, leapt out of the car speakers:

suffer suffer for world – amen!
Enjoy for heaven – amen


Since I couldn’t do anything about my anger, I decided to lose myself in the music. That way I could prise my mind off the shrilly horn, and the driver’s gravelly voice belting along to the music.
The rest of the journey passed in a haze, but I distinctly remember that the song water e no get enemy was half-way through when the driver pulled to the curb and announced we had reached our destination, Ajah.
‘What a relief’ I sighed to myself. Did I say relief? Hehehe. I laugh because my sigh was premature; the ‘best’ was yet to come.

I entered vehicle number two plying Ajah-Obalende. The first thing that hit my consciousness was a passenger crying out ‘Jesus Christ!’ then a fat mama fleeing the bus (almost shedding her wrapper and modesty in the process). Curiously I followed the eyeline of the passenger who had just cried ‘Jesus’ and I saw why. Right before my eyes was a centaur positioned in the driver’s seat.
‘Oghene biko, which kind wahala be dis?’ I thought.

The last time I checked the half-man, half-animal creature belonged to fantasy movies and books. When did it start leaping off the pages of fantasy books to start mixing with humans?
The centaur, or should I say driver, had a lizard-shaped head that was clean shaven except for two ridges of dread-locked hair running down either sides. His long, full, Osama-Bin-Laden-type beard was tied in a bun, just like a woman would pack her hair. He wore dangling silver earrings and a thick silver chain. But he was no centaur. His legs were just as real and tangible as mine.

Things were not looking good.

I had the option of stepping off the bus, and back into the blazing sun to wait for the next vehicle, or staying put.
I looked around at my fellow passengers. They wore looks of amusement mingled with curiosity.

We all knew we were in for a ride.
Politics / Re: Should Nigeria Split ? by Oluchi007(f): 12:45am On Dec 29, 2011
At the risk of sounding ridiculous, I think Nigeria worked better in the 'Things fall apart' type setting; where each clan had its own rules and regulations. We are too many and too different to be lumped together. E.g. if Nigeria was to split along the line of ethnicities, there would still be the problem of marginalisation.

While the Igbos, for instance, might speak one language, there are so many dialects & differences. So you will still have the Anambra man looking down on the Enugu man, and the Enugu man looking down on the Nsukka man. The list goes on and on.
Politics / Re: Should Nigeria Split ? by Oluchi007(f): 8:05pm On Dec 28, 2011
Yes! Nigeria should split immediately. I don't see any other way out.
Literature / Re: How Do You Choose A Catchy Title For Your Work? by Oluchi007(f): 4:05pm On Dec 26, 2011
Sometimes that is possible, sometimes it is not.
Literature / Re: How Do You Choose A Catchy Title For Your Work? by Oluchi007(f): 2:18pm On Dec 25, 2011
Oh, so you're the one that wrote 'Sitting at the edge', cool.

Thank you for the tips. Hopefully with this I'll be able to improve on my titles.
Literature / Re: My First Love by Oluchi007(f): 12:42pm On Dec 24, 2011
my lips are sealed wink
Literature / Re: My First Love by Oluchi007(f): 2:57am On Dec 24, 2011
@Larrywiz, terrifikjo & firestar, thank you.

@Ogaga4luv, not exactly. It wasn't my first love experience.
Literature / Re: Something Happened Upstairs by Oluchi007(f): 11:26am On Dec 23, 2011
Wow, Orikinla. I didn't know you write so well. That certainly grabbed my attention. More please.
Literature / Re: Sitting At The Edge - Those The Earth Does Not Favor by Oluchi007(f): 11:20am On Dec 23, 2011
Intriguing.
Politics / Massive Oil Spill Near Nigeria's Coast by Oluchi007(f): 1:14am On Dec 23, 2011
LAGOS, Nigeria — An oil spill near the coast of Nigeria is likely the worst to hit those waters in a decade, a government official said Thursday, as slicks from the Royal Dutch Shell PLC spill approached the country’s southern shoreline.

The slick from Shell’s Bonga field has affected 115 miles (185 kilometers) of ocean near Nigeria’s coast, Peter Idabor, who leads the National Oil Spill Detection and Response Agency, told The Associated Press. Idabor said officials expect the slick to reach beaches by Thursday afternoon, likely affecting birds, fish and other wildlife in the area.

inShare, Shell, the major oil producer in Nigeria, said Wednesday the spill likely occurred as workers tried to offload oil onto a waiting tanker. The company published photographs of the spill, showing a telltale rainbow sheen in the ocean, but said it believes that about 50 percent of the leaked oil has already evaporated.

The source of the leak has been plugged and experts from Britain were coming to help with the cleanup, Idabor said.

Shell estimates the Bonga spill likely was less than 40,000 barrels, or 1.68 million gallons. That’s about the same amount of oil spilled offshore in 1998 at a Mobil field. The 1998 spill saw oil slicks extended for more than 100 miles (some 160 kilometers) to Lagos, the country’s commercial capital.

“Since the Mobil spill, this is just about the most major one,” Idabor said.

Nigerian authorities hope to use oil booms and chemicals to disperse or collect the spilled oil, Idabor said. In a statement, Shell said its Nigerian subsidiary already had sent ships out to the slick to use dispersant on the oil sheen. The company also said it would use infrared equipment to trace places where the sheen is the thickest.

However, the size of the spill may be even larger. SkyTruth, a nonprofit group based in West Virginia that uses satellite imagery to detect environmental problems, estimated the oil spill might stretch across roughly 350 square miles (920 square kilometers) of ocean — three times what Nigerian authorities believe.

“The spill could be near the upper limit of what Shell has stated,” John Amos, SkyTruth’s founder and president, told the AP on Thursday. However, he said he needed more information to determine the spill’s true scope.

Bonga sits about 75 miles (120 kilometers) off Nigeria’s coast. It can produce about 200,000 barrels of oil and 150 million cubic feet of gas a day, according to Shell’s Nigerian subsidiary. Production at the field, which Shell operates in partnership with Italy’s Eni SpA, Exxon Mobil Corp., France’s Total SA and the state-run Nigerian National Petroleum Corp., has been halted since the discovery of the spill.

Environmentalists blame Shell and other foreign oil firms for polluting the country’s oil-rich Niger Delta. Some environmentalists say as much as 550 million gallons of oil poured into the delta during Shell’s roughly 50 years of production in Nigeria — a rate roughly comparable to one Exxon Valdez disaster per year. An estimated 11 million gallons was released during the 1989 Exxon Valdez spill in Alaska.

Shell in recent years has said most of the spills in the delta are caused by militant attacks or thieves tapping into pipelines to steal crude oil, which ends up sold into the black market or cooked into a crude diesel or kerosene. Company statistics kept by Shell show spills have dropped as militant attacks in the region subsided, though this single spill at Bonga roughly doubles the amount of oil spilled by Shell this year.

Apparently predicting interest in the spill would grow, Shell already had taken out Internet advertising Thursday on search engines, directing those searching for the spill to their website. Jonathan French, a Shell spokesman in London, said the advertising came in the “interests of full transparency” so people can read the company’s updates on the spill.

Nigeria, an OPEC member nation producing about 2.4 million barrels of crude oil a day, is a top supplier to the U.S.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/world/africa/nigeria-oil-spill-manager-shell-offshore-spill-affecting-100-nautical-miles-moving-to-coast/2011/12/22/gIQApJQ4AP_story.html?fb_ref=NetworkNews

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