₦airaland Forum

yorke1:
Except a man is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.
Won't it be hypocrisy if you are a Christian and still type 'RIP'

NEVER JUDGE, ONLY GOD KNOWS WHO WILL ENTER HIS KINGDOM.
Don't be surprised most pastors will rot in hell (God knows even your own pastors fate),while the ooni may rest on God's bossom.

#YourgraceissufficientformeLord

AFTER THE MATCH, A GUY DECIDED TO STONE GIROUD AT MY VIEWING CENTRE, ONLY TO DISCOVER HE JUST BROKE THE FLAT SCREEN.

#DOUBLEJEOPARDY

Saw this online and couldn't help laughing.
(from a FB post actually)

David Geller............

So I finally landed a job as a Wal-Mart greeter,
which is a good find for many retirees,
unfortunately I lasted less than a day.
About two hours into my first day on the job a
very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman
walked into the store with her two kids, yelling
obscenities at them all the way through the
entrance. Per my greeter training manual I said
pleasantly, “Good morning and welcome to Wal-
Mart.” “Nice children you have there. Are they
twins?”
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to
say, “Hell no, they ain’t twins. The oldest one is
9, and the other one is 7. Why the hell would you
think they’re twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?”
So I replied, “I’m neither blind nor stupid,
madam. I just couldn’t believe someone slept
with you twice. Have a good day and thank you
for shopping at Wal-Mart.”
My supervisor said I probably wasn’t cut out for
this line of work.

(hahhjjjaajjaajaaaaahaaa)

phlio:
there are films and there are films as for me talking about non Nigerian film I will choose 3 idiots then coming up to Nigeria film I will chose phone swap.I find myself watching this films over and over again








phone swap
3idiots


what about u ?

pls through any means, how can I get phone swap?
watched up to Cynthia's 4giveness (incomplete)

searched everywhere 4 it to no avail.

AnambraDota:
In Imo there are only two people in APC, Rochas and his family and his son-in-law and his family.

There is no APC office in Ebonyi, fear will not even allow APC come to Aba not to talk of opening an office in the toughcity, they are restricted to Umuahia.

Joe Ibokwe is having heavy 0rgasm

Surely you must be laughing at your display of ignorance.
Imo has 2 APC members yet Owelle won the last election convincingly.
APC has no office in Ebonyi, so what is the duplex opposite Abakaliki Stadium?
The major opposition is even APC.
IN Anambra, probably you haven't heard the Willy is perfecting his 'porting'

WAKE UP KID LEST YOU ARE LEFT ALONE.

Sociology calls this : CULTURAL SHOCK.

Baddo101:
So if dem no b virgins dem go kill dem ni??

D king self looks almost half naked

don't be surprised if the average lady in that country's prayer point is to be found worthy.

Baddo101:
chei see bobbiii

Enough to make a drunk man speak in tongues.

...and this car must have been taken to a church 4 blessings & d pastor must have prayed that the source may never run dry.
naija i hail.

A common tradition in Swaziland (Swazi) permits
the King, Mswati, to choose a new bride every
year.
According to reports by Talk Africa, it has been a
long time tradition in Swaziland and isn’t the first
time this controversial issue is making it into the
news.
It will be recalled that in 2012, Dailymail reported
that topless virgins were paraded in front of the
Swazi King, to celebrate chastity and unity.

dailypost.ng/2015/08/06/king-of-swaziland-chooses-wife-tests-topless-girls-virginity-publicly-photos/

if things like this don't make front page & things like keke napep sleeper does, then i fear obasanjo was right when he said 'if you want to keep things from a Nigerian, write it in a book '.

kamair237:
Noise pollution.....!!!
Kind by kind excuses...
Pipo just d block oda Pipo their hussle...

this sounds like an animal.
people with this mentality should not live among humans or even in a sane environment.

mystiqueDZ:
Tell a man of 40 plus to do a will and he will Jkabash' for u

That's why this put-up should be enlightening.
otherwise,a student advised to read but who gets to class /library to sleep, will reap his reward in due time.

DrObum:
My Nairaland account I will to INTROVERT( her ability to make FTC is amazing)





Well, my unpaid PHCN bills, I give to OP!

Abeg you no fit share liability.
infact hold your will biko.
wen i no be chelsea wey collect falcao.

badaoyeyemi:
.good point.... I av 2k in ma account ma best friend can av dat ...ma cloth I wanna give it to ma cousin..and ma shoes to go to d less privileged....does it make sense

if you so want it.
Wills though are meant to be WELL documented & Attested to by witnesses.
it doesn't matter that you don't have the whole world yet b4 you can make a will.

It is undeniable that we all make plans, keep dreams, build mansions,but can't see beyond our noses.
The ultimate question then is:
What becomes of an individual after crossing the bridge?
Many a time we love cetain people (wife;children -of inside & outside;brothers; or at times even friends)so much that harm done to them is like 3rd World War on our hearts.
To ensure therefore, that the love you have for them continues even years after your death, A WILL IS THE SOLUTION.
Many people conceive the error that only old people prepare wills, but then i ask : IS IT ONLY THE OLD THAT DIE? -NO
who then can write a will? EVERYONE OF 18 YEARS AND ABOVE.
To avoid boring you, read below the beauty of writing a will.

1. IT PREVENTS THE INCIDENTS OF CUSTOMARY PRACTICES.
customary practices abound under the various cultures & tribes, such as where you have the wife thrown out & deceased's siblings take over his properties (including those jointly purchased ).
And the poor woman is left stranded.

2. IT ALLOWS THE DECEASED CHOOSE HIS EXECUTORS (those to enforce his will).
The deceased here has the opportunity of reposing his will to the enforcement of a well trusted person (people ) eg a long friend or even corporate bodies eg banks, or even churches.

3. IT ALLOWS THE DECEASED(called a testator) APPOINT GOOD GUARDIANS FOR HIS CHILDREN.
especially where his children are still young.

4. ALLOWS THE TESTATOR DISTRIBUTE HIS PROPERTIES AS HE PLEASES.
The testator has the opportunity to determine who gets what,in what quantity, & for how long, without controversy.

5. ALLOWS THE TESTATOR DISPLAY HIS BENEVOLENCE AND GOODWILL.
as the testator may decide to extend the scope of his distribution to people outside his family, such as creating a scholarship/welfare front for indigent people (as Gani did).

the above are just but a few Reasons why everyone is advised to prepare a will.
A WILL PREPARED TODAY IS NEVER OUTDATED AS IT CAN ALWAYS BE BUILT UPON/MODIFIED.

To all those ladies calling it love,
HOW WILL YOU FEEL VISITING YOUR BROTHER,ONLY FIND HIM DOING THIS?
come see reaction, that's how you box a lady to the corner.

Adekunle Michael Jackson University.
Our dear AAUA.

Midehi:
dear i dont think i have typed something wrong.


@ ur pics....its sure cos he who is down today can definatly rise tomorrow.

take your woman to where you can afford now, dont borrow to please her, when the time of expensive places like yellow chilli restaurant comes, sure you will.

Now this is it & far comforting than saying 'the poor date their class '

NICE OF YOU.

Midehi:
*singing* *cut your coat according to your cloth.


broke guys always go for classless babes, so i dont think its a crime to visit such places cos they are both brokers

if you practice what you typed,
....pray you don't make mistakes (lips sealed ).

Faremisodeeq:
Is not funny jooo

bros bros, you be barber? i no spoil business.

d funny thing is that the person being barbed go dey enjoy all the wonders, thinking
THIS ONE NA CONFIRM!

laffing in ibibio

check it out probably you will be tempted to pay more.

zopaks:
.that's my state Any other citizen of the sunshine state on nairaland? Let's click like together

what good has it brought to us since than 4 rigging. u talk like water drips from ur mouth. rubbish!!!

OreMI22:
[size=15pt]
Without oil in Igboland and Southern minorities part of Nigeria, Yoruba and Hausa/Fulani would have long seceded from Nigeria. FACT!
.[/size]

do u need to be reminded without bias that b4 oil was ever found, d yoruba's were at the front in development.
see 4 urself:
1. first tv station in Africa
2. first stadium in Africa
3. tallest building in sub-Saharan Africa (cocoa house Ibadan )
4. free education (which still tells today )
5. first university in Nigeria (premier uni/ui)
6. free health
d coming of an ibo man's (JTU) unification decree of 1966 cut d Yoruba short and made them rely on FG.,thus d snail pace.
dont b too fast to 4get dat ondo & now Lagos states av oil.

i shouldn't forget the tales of the Northern Groundnut pyramid either.

my brother, look beyond the hate u were probably told and embrace the beauty of one Nigeria,while not forgetting that dos SS oil producing states will yet tell u they aren't ibo(edo,delta,ph,bayelsa,criver & aibom) save a section of delta.

na one Nigeria sure pass
#teamlove
#teamonenigeria

Young03:
buhari were ar u?

u told us u will end insurgency in 1week if we elect u
more than 100people have died since u became the president and all u could do is to run away from the country


Chai, diA is God oo

Don't always allow us cast doubts about your reasonability. Just saying.

mployer:
keep dreaming...

Just the way you removed fayose? Abi?

FYI, everybody is not gentlemanly like Gej.

It could av been a Nice post by you,if only u considered that the federal power has changed.
Or y do u think fayose is always disposed to attending peace meetings?.....only because d house wudnt get dissolved till 5th June,wen APC already has d center.

Fayose aside,every right thinking person besides d court,knows that there were no elections in A/ibom,Rivers & Abia.
So be prepared!!!!!

What shall it profit a man to be sworn in on May 29 and be removed by the tribunal few months later?

richidinho:
By 1st of June our 5k shld be ready

Eda ma leleyi!!!

4 d pastor 2 av paid her #5k, not even #1 or 2k, it shows he could b guilty as alleged by d woman.
Odawise,Y pay 4 wetin u no do/even sabi

This only reflects what we are to expect post may 29.

I think this is the height of humility.
Nothing Seems to look big b4 dis man.