₦airaland Forum

Rita005:
Hi folks! I feel like sharing my predicament with you and hope to get a solution. Please bear with me cuz it's a long read. I'm a 26 years old banker (not contract staff) in one of the south south states.

Recently, I met a beautiful soul and I think I'm getting so fond of him now. We connected after the close of service in church and exchanged contacts. He was kind enough to drop me off my house. This guy is doing very well for himself (lives in a nice estate and owns a good ride).

A short while after our first meeting, we spoke on phone and I didn't know when I asked him why he isn't married. He told me it's a long story and would like to talk about it when we meet one-to-one. Fast forward, we met and he told me all there is about him. He's 34, got married about 2 years ago, but now separated from his wife. The reason he gave for the separation was lack of trust from his wife. According to him, his wife is so insecured to a fault. According to him, the first week he got married was when he started regretting his actions. After their marriage, his wife travelled down home to bring her remaining baggage. Before she returned, he made sure he cleaned the house thoroughly. However, when his wife came back, she headed straight to the fridge (she had made soup and stew before traveling) and the next thing was cry! According to him, he said he was confused at first. it was when he asked her what the problem was that she said he brought a woman to their matrimonial home. He said he cried so much and regretted marrying a woman with a possessed mind.

According to him, all the signs were there before marriage and he ended the relationship more than 5 times but she kept begging. What she was holding on to was that there's no assurance that the guy will marry him, hence, her fears. According to him, the woman has accused him of sleeping with his former neighbors and she insisted that they move out of that area. for peace to reign, he agreed and they got another accommodation.

Again, she started accusing him of having something with his new neighbors (even the married ones). To be honest, this guy is admirable and very reserved and I'm not sure if he's doing all the things his wife accused him of. He got angry when his wife decided to report him to the church authority. According to him, this woman has no single proof of him cheating but her reprobate mind is affecting her badly. She even went ahead to share demeaning messages about him (her husband) on her whatsapp status. This guy said he has pleaded with her to stop but it's getting worse. Now, they were married for about two years without a child. He said he could manage to live with the woman for more years without a child but can't do that when his peace is been threatened. He said his wife nags a lot and it was driving him crazy. According to him, his mum was never in support of the marriage but dad was interested in it. As it stands now, he has left his wife and moved to another state where we both met.

I have been friends with him for about 3 months now and I must say that this guy is a sweet human being. He asked me out but I told him we should just be friends, owning that he's still legally married. However, my feelings for him is growing everyday and this guy knows how to get one emotionally attached to him. Even though I can perceive that he wants sex with me, he never begs or act too anxious over it. He's so calm and mature and this is making me to admire him the more.

Note: He said he has talked about divorce with his wife but she's refusing it. This is where my concerns come in.
Now, I'm scared of going into a relationship with him knowing that he's not divorced yet.

To be honest, I can hardly concentrate these days because the thought of this guy has occupied my mind. Can I go ahead with him or the implications would be overwhelming? To be honest, I've not met a guy has coolheaded and admirable as this guy but I'm scared.
please I need advice on how to handle this situation.

Thanks

commission a private detective to get a first hand info on this man or visit a family gathering and get acquainted with a family member and clear your doubt. But he will always be somebody's husband. I have a sense he left the woman because she can't conceive. Don't break a childless woman's heart. Little wonder his mother looking for grand child is in support of the divorce.

Theft of public fund in daylight and we have EFCC. How much is other states paying alpha beta that Lagos is paying 10℅. A consultancy service that shouldn't be up to 1- 2℅. No wonder Lagos, a former capital is like a mega slum.

One common thing among these stories here is the parent either die prematurely. Please one vital lesson is to give birth to the number you can cater for. There is no social security in Nigeria so you don't die in regret.

Bounceboune7:
God bless u

I am really not a fan of tinubu but it's annoying how they hate him without anything reasonable to bring against him.

They say he's a thief,which Nigerian politician has clean record?the Peter obi they want to portray as an angel has the Pandora case n akwuzu killings to deal with.

The orji uzor kalu they want to present has been jailed for corruption even when his party is in power,tinubu was arraigned by opposition party n he was discharged n acquainted.

I am yet to see any reasonable thing they have against tinubu

N it's annoying they are even dragging south south into their hate.

They create different account on social media n put other tribes names just to cause chaos.

We all can see their hate from afar

Brother, he contributed to the calamity we have as President. If 2015 was a mistake, what reasonable individual will promote failure called Buhari in 2019?

The German ex and wife should make 1b naira available if he wants to claim the child. Wickedness!

Truly, the damage done by Buhari is much. This is just like the uncontrolled borrowing by previous govts that threw Abia and Osun into huge debt. What magic can the present governors do?.

Garba Shehu is the worst spokesman in history spokesmanship.

What happened to O to ge?. So the governor performed woefully than the former govt they displaced with propaganda?. It shall not be well with APC.

Happy birthday sir. God bless your ministry.

A

1

When did they come?.

famousguy01:
This is the same excuse I was given when $200 was stolen from my GTB account. I know for sure that some of their staffs are involved in this

some of these mysteries are due to business model of these fintech. If money lives your account, where did it go?. There is always trail but most times you reach a dead end when cash are withdrawn from these fintech POS.

Nigerians were celebrating the rise of Fintechs but it appears that celebration is misplaced. Fintechs that are supposed to be major drivers of digitization has become abode, residence and extension of yahoo boys. Major electronic fraud in Nigeria is always through enablement of these fintechs. The social media is awash with videos of people crying in the banking hall after falling victim to fraudsters. Checks always reveal that these fraudsters move their loot through Fintechs especially Opay. They will subsequently cash out through POS. CBN should wake up to their responsibilities and clamp down on these Fintechs before they destroy the little trust left in the industry. Otherwise we will continue to see more heart breaking stories of Yahoo boys victim. Opay most especially should revise their business model and clamp down on fraudster using their platform to defraud innocent citizens. They should also be more responsive and helpful in cases where fraud is established. God bless us all.

We may forgive 2015 but 2019 is unpardonable. Those who promoted that failure in 2019 shall never be made to reap from it. Anybody or any region that promoted this gross failure of a president SHALL never reap from it. I can only call it greed and wickedness if you see destruction of the country from 2015 to 2019 and went ahead to promote it in 2019.

Lately we have not been seeing media release on Buhari's skewed appointment in favour of the north. What happened?. Is there suspension of appointments letters?. Is there no move vacancies to fill?. In those days, Garba Shehu relish in rubbing those skewed appointments on our face with an air of arrogance. It is of note that lopsided appointments and mishandling of fulani herdsmen crisis triggered the various agitations tearing the country apart. Now it has dawned on everyone that we may not even have a country in some future. This irresponsible govt is now humble but it may now be too late to build trust again among different tribes. Buhari shouldn't have happened in this country.

Thank you Farooq. Anybody or or group of people that enabled this devilish party in 2019 should not be made to benefit from it. You can argue you made mistake in 2015 but to repeat same in 2019 is too costly to be wished away.

Thank you Enugu youths. We still have reasonable youths. Let's save our youth and go after any drug baron in the east. Don't wait for govt.

True talk. You will wonder if the professional service you get from banks are done by aliens. But yes they are still Nigerians. So it' s an attitude thing. I will support a politician that will clean this mess called Nigerian civil service.

This is genocide. And we are yet to designate them as terrorists.

I doubt know how Reno got his statistics but a particular region put us in this Buhari mess because they want their son to be vice president.

I don't blame you. You live in far away land and don't feel the pain

A

The truth is that the bulk of corruption in this country is found in the civil service and not the politicians. There is this misconception that politicians are the major people stealing money. Until we start probing all these stupendous civil servants who has houses all over the country, we are going nowhere.

What's sports minister still doing in office?

Cool

I am ashamed of our athelets for defending the govt. The Hausa guy is a hero

If Buhari is not dashing people money, then where is the money? People are complaining of hardship everywhere.

Monogamy:
One of them slipped tongue the other day on NL.. He was complaining about how things have been so hard under Buhari's Tenure that he even had to abandoned his housing project, I asked him when did the project stop, he said 2015, I just laughed.. That was when the free money stop rolling.

Back then, if you go to Abuja airport, you would think Dubai is a neighboring country to Nigeria as there are so many fine fine girls marketing real estate in Dubai.. GEJ was just sharing the money anyhow. All vanished since 2015

Go to Banana Island and see so many abandoned projects, some of them stopped the project after GEJ lost.

That's why I can never take those wailers seriously, it's not that they care about the country, their anger is about the free money that stopped hence want everything to scatter but God pass them.

Buhari must go for Nigeria to have peace.

Enough of all these hisbah nonsense. How can people's right be continuously violated based on dubious religious reasons. Hisbah should immediately be disbanded. These are things that pushes people to agitate for own country. Nations are creating colony in space, we are talking of hisbah and cattle for 6 years