₦airaland Forum

Aminat508:
Dozens may have died in Damaturu, the Yobe state capital,​ as a bomb blast rocked a crowded commercial area​ on Saturday​, witnesses said.
PREMIUM TIMES gathered that dozens of persons were either killed or injured as a result of the blast.
A witness said the blast,​ which occurred at about 11a.m.​,​ left many dismembered human parts littering the scene.
A resident of Damaturu, Abdulmalik Audu, told PREMIUM TIMES the incident occurred behind the main Damaturu motor park where there are commercial shops and stalls.
Details of the casualties and cause of the blast could​ be ascertained immediately.
More news later.



http://www.premiumtimesng.com/news/top-news/183070-%E2%80%8Bbomb-rocks-damaturu-commercial-area-many-feared-dead.html

so buhari guyz never stop abi ,may 30 dem go no sa nyashi pass nyashi

ijustdey:
http://www.punchng.com/metro-plus/fighter-pushes-peacemaker-into-path-of-speeding-truck/

why nah ,abeg sorry oooh

SleekyP:

Source: http://www.olufamous.com/2015/05/ladies-see-how-to-escape-cancer-in-your.html

next time na guyz see how to excape scrotum cancer lubbissh

Alexbond:
Nigeria thieves causing inflation since 1900

i no say no b beta tin dem see ,always bad tin why nah

socialmediaman:
5 Most Notorious Government Agencies Siphoning Nigeria's Revenue

This article highlights some of the Organizations at the top list of siphoning most of the revenue which should be going into Government's purse, but rather diverted to private pockets. They're responsible for Nigeria's low IGR and Foreign revenue annually despite the huge amount of money coming from crude oil exports and Huge actual Internally Generated Revenue, most of which the Nigerian Government does not officially earn. If the Federal Government wants to boost its IGR and budget expectations, these are the organizations to go after:

1. NNPC (Their Oga kpata kpata): Records speak for itself, the NNPC doesn't even know the amount of crude it imports daily. There are possibly over 100 different means which the NNPC uses to siphon government revenue. From fraudulent subsidy payments to intentional delay of imported products to incur and accumulate demurrage with shopping companies. They're mostly responsible for the over $600 billion dollars alleged by the EFCC to have been stolen from Nigeria since 1999.

2. NPA: Working for the Nigeria Ports Authority can even be more rewarding than working for the NNPC. Thousands of illegal deals worth millions of Naira are settled under the table at the ports on a daily basis. Government ends up not recording most of these criminal deals. So many criminal waivers, unrecorded imports, direct cash settlements rather than legal payment channels, undercharges, auction sales etc.

3. Customs: customs officials attached to courier agencies target goods coming in from overseas. Once your package arrives, you'd be expecting the normal courier charge and taxes, then you hear the bad news; Nigeria customs is holding your package. They'll usually give you a fictitious extra bill, citing some flimsy reasons and stipulated policies and conditions which cannot be found anywhere on their website. Instead of allowing the goods get to your local courier office, they'll rather invite you to Lagos and that's when you get desperate because you don't want to travel all the way to Lagos to collect a package. So you decide to negotiate and pay. Mode of payment is usually their private accounts or other means which will not be eventually traced back to them, not government's purse. Sometimes also, their charges are genuine, but settled through private channels, So government gets little or nothing from the illegal transaction.

Their Illegal Operations with The Immigration Service at Nigeria's borders also ensure that Cars and other goods are imported into Nigeria illegally with taxes and charges that are never documented or paid into government's purse.

4. FIRS: this is another criminal organization in Nigeria.They target multinationals and big companies, and the richest among them work in Abuja, Lagos, Port Harcourt and other cities with numerous big companies. They help you evade tax in so many different ways (evading and avoiding tax are different things, one is criminal, the other is legal) and collect huge rewards for their excellent criminal manoevers. Hundreds of billions or possibly trillions therefore go unrecovered annually.

5. NIMASA: The Nigerian Maritime Administration and Safety Agency is a regulatory body saddled with various maritime related responsibilities including administration and regulation of shipping licenses, carrying out aerial and coastal surveillance, control and prevention of maritime pollution, providing maritime security. About 40% of Nigeria's income Is budgeted for this agency to develop maritime infrastructure and fund the operations of the Maritime Academy of Nigeria. NIMASA has been involved with various levels of fraud on many occasions running into Trillions of naira.

Other Agencies include the Nigeria Immigration Service, Federal Road Safety and The Nigeria Police Force.

You may add more and highlight. We want complete reforms so that we may recover our money and develop our infrastructure.

God Bless Nigeria.

- SocialMediaMan

op ur rice my brother but i wud av include nairaland if not that u av mention government ovet it

Rapmoney:
Be patient while you read this...

If you are a young and ambitious dude still struggling to get to the top, this write-up will save you the stress and pains of the so-called love we have been deceived about for long!

If you still think that there's what is called 'true love' or 'love without money or resources', then you must be living in a fool's paradise!!! (Quote me if you like!)

The truth of the matter is that what people in the past enjoyed as 'true love' no longer exist. Then it was possible for a man and a woman to fall in love based on personal qualities or characters without materialism attached to it! Those were the good old days! Our society has changed and any one who still lives in the past is not better than the village idiot!!!

I have heard people saying often times that love or relationship is not all about money! To me, that's the highest level of trash and rubbish! If you are a young man with ambition, still striving and toiling to make it, you better forget about love and concentrate full-time...I mean 100% on your dreams and life.
It is so frustrating to see some struggling dudes killing themselves over love issues! What a life! Why spend the meagre salary you earn after working for 30 days like a donkey on a girl? She tells you she needs a phone, you struggle to buy it! She says she needs money for hair, you struggle to give her! She tells you she needs to get a nice bag or pair of shoes she saw at a boutique, you struggle to give her! Be rest assured that you will continue to struggle endlessly in your life if you don't desist from such shameful and wasteful act! If you want to know the extent to which materialism has eaten into this so-called love, watch even the younger girls of today! Even those that are below 21 or 22 will quickly run away from you if you can't be giving her upkeep money, money for hair and phone, etc The mature ones? If you don't live comfortably well, sorry, you are on your own!!! Except for those village girls that are not exposed...but seriously, not in the cities of Nigeria.

Before you criticize me on the fact that these women need to live a comfortable life by hanging out with only comfortable dudes, read the topic again! It is surely the same reason why I said young struggling men should forget about love and focus on their lives!!! When you are comfortable, you can have the resources to sustain your relationship because no matter how a woman 'loves' you, the 'love' must surely die if there's no finance to sustain it!

Adams Oshiomole (not handsome) just got married to pretty Lara Forte! Do you think she didn't see all the tall handsome dudes with six-packs before tying the knot with the governor?

Goodevening everyone!

typical truth

SleekyP:

Source: http://leadership.ng/news/433664/nscdc-lagos-command-arrests-60-vandals-seal-30-security-companies

na Yorubas be i mean na se***********u*****n brothers

Rilwayne001:
We are not living him alone until may29'

oya contnue na u go tire bet me

Islie:
http://www.vanguardngr.com/2015/05/peggy-ovire-exposes-nipples/

op wetin u look go da side nah

Rilwayne001:
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CBYODaLWsAATkOO.png

MY CAPTION

on April 1 2015

SAMBO: Good afternoon mr. President **shakes hand** this is Hajia Mero from Kano, She is so popular in the north that she is ready to deliver 5million votes for your relection bid. Just give her #100billion and she will deliver 5m votes for you...shikena

JONATHAN: **frown**:Samboribobo, if I slap you ehn, you will see stars circumambulating your head .

HAJIA MERO: Good afternoon sir.

JONATHAN: Hey! you, don't even try to greet me. Even if I am clueless, do you think it is exponential i.e. homo clueless clueless? So, you want me to give you 100billion when jega is currently announcing results, and so far Buhari is been beating the hell outta my a§s?

The thunder that will fire you both ehn, is drinking fura de nunu.

OP CANT U PEOPLE Live dis man ALONE MAY DEM COMOT FINISH NI

What a life seeelf, dis world is now turning to a place of mad people. Nooo wonder, that wonder shall never end, end time tins

[quote author=Hidentity post=33749887]There is something about actions, they can be chosen. There is something about actions taken, they birth reaction(s). There is something about reactions, they can't be chosen. In a simple language, why we can choose our action, we cannot choose the reaction.

In the history of Nigeria, it is certain that the 2015 General election would not be forgotten in a moment. While this assertion may be bought by every Nigerian, the reason may differ in the opinion of individuals. For the purpose of simplifying this analysis, individuals with a dogged determination to achieve their goals may see it as a year that unrelenting determination paid off for the retired General. For some, it was a year that paved way for the populace to speak through the ballot. In some quarters, it is the year of the emergence of their democratic hero- President Jonathan. For the last, reservations abound. I object to an attempt at making Jonathan a hero for the purpose of a soft landing. I don't know about America, but in Nigeria, no tenant becomes a hero by vacating the apartment at the expiration of his rent. However, it is a sheer waste of emotion to observe a minute of silence for a deceased whose penchant for noise while alive is insatiable.

Personally, I do not have anything against the person of President Jonathan. In fact, I like to see sons and daughters of fishermen, taxi drivers, petty traders and others on that divide of the struggle attaining the incredible heights. Nevertheless, I take offence when attaining that height drives them stupour. I also do not have anything for General Buhari, I only shared the sentiment that things must not continue in the Jonathan's way. I waited for a public event that would demand that I talk about the President of Nigeria for the whole of 2014, but I could not attend any that I was invited for. I was waiting to embarrass President Jonathan because he has embarrassed long-suffering Nigerians and Nigeria. I was waiting to be asked questions like 'who is the President of Nigeria?' or maybe to make a remark about the President of Nigeria. In my crazy moment, I would have replied that Nigeria do not have a President. To be diplomatic, but to the consternation of many, I would have replied that I do not know the President of Nigeria. I could say that anywhere, even on a quiz floor. I know nations with leaders and none is governed like ours. I do not know shadow leaders, I know leaders who are strong-willed to act irrespective of whose ox will be gored.

Like you, a couple of events that made the moment have been archived in a bid to take a hint from life. Beyond the happiness for Jonathan's loss and the fear of Buhari's possible 'tsunamic' approach to corruption, I have picked an event in the whole politicking drama- The Orubebe Saga. It does deserve a second examination after the whole dust has gone down.

Lately, I stopped concerning myself with what people do. I try to understand their reason(s) and purpose(s). In the beauty of the time-honoured aphorism in Yoruba, the myth of the dragonfly dancing on the water surface comes to mind. For the purpose of this forensic work, elder Orubebe is the dragonfly here. It is believed that attempts to allay the fear of stream goers by making the dragonfly vacate was futile. Then, after consulting the oracle, it dawned on the villagers that the dragonfly's dance of humour was not without the motivation of an unrelenting drummer deep down in the stream. In short, elder Orubebe's public display had the blessing of one or two political drummers. The question here- did elder Orubebe pause to consider his status before doing such a dirty act without gloves? I mean this is someone's father. He is someone's husband. He is an elder in a community, this is the 21st century, and we have the media everywhere!

In the execution of his assignment, elder Orubebe made a lot of inflammatory statements. To elder Orubebe, Jega was compromised, he was partial, he was used. All those did not really matter, especially when you are used to the types of statements made by Lagos bus conductors. The most sensitive statement and most crucial moment was when elder Orubebe requested Jega to 'go and reply him (Orubebe) from his office.' Jega could reply Orubebe, but it must not be from his office. Replying from his office would have been the electoral error of the millennium. Here is the reason, there is a possibility that if Jega had left the ICC for his office, the election would have been rendered inconclusive by machineries 'possibly' put in place. By then, Jega would be away from our curious glares. For 'security' purpose, he could have been prevented from continuing the process. In fact, it might take him till today to repl so in ur scul dem dont reach how to summurz abi? Beta go bak nd lean ooh

[quote author=natureblack post=33765498][i]Peruse at your leisure,English lovers.

* How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend ?

* I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

* Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

* The bandage was wound around the wound.

* The farm was used to produce produce.

* The dump was full that it had to refuse more refuse.

* We must polish the Polish furniture.

* I did not object to the object.

* When shot at,the dove dove into the bushes.

* They were too close to the door to close it.

* The seamstress and a sewer fell into a sewer line.

* To help with planting,the farmer taught his sow to sow.

* After a number of injections my jaw got number.



Viewed freely,English language is the accretion and growth of every dielect,race,and range of time,and is both the free compacted composition of all yaa man i feel u no b small at all

boman2014:
"Let’s face it: English is a crazy language. There is no
egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England or french
fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly,
boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither
from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers
write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, and
hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth,
why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices?
Is cheese the plural of choose?
If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a
vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian
eat?
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on
driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How
can the weather be hot as hell one day an cold as hell another?
When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a
form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by
going on.
When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the
lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I
end it?
Now I know why I flunked my English. It’s not my fault;
the silly language doesn’t quite know whether it’s
coming or going." -Richard Lederer.

naaaaaawaooooh what a language seeelf

No b devolopment they need , may dem see am nah

aand who again

[quote author=may3 post=33737485]hehehe....i laugh in German........okponu why nah

[quote author=may3 post=33710243]@Op,u just made my evening ....An advice,no need to write jamb just go find shop for nkwo nnewi NICE COMENT BUT UR FATHER WERE DE NKWO NNEWI BESIDE FIRST GATE WETIN HIM DON ACHIEVE SINCE 1997 WERE HIM DE DERE DE REPAIR BICYCLE ,yeye human bein inshot ur genaration no go atend scul again ...anumanu

ifeanyiso:
I just saw the post bellow on a friend's facebook wall and decided to share.

With enough proof @ his disposal to show that his girlfriend
was cheating on him, a guy carted away all the items he
used to furnish his girlfriend's apartment. From the flat
screen, to the settee, Gotv dish, air-conditioner and even the
light bulb. Her rent was to expire that month and invariably,
it meant she was forfeiting her continuous stay in that
building. This was a true life story and when I first heard it
among a gathering of friends (both male and female), I
laughed so hard, tears rolled out of my eyes. Now every
female in the gathering that heard the story as usual termed
the guy 'immature' but I beg to disagree.

If I were in the guy's shoes, knowing fully well my
personality, there's a 99.5% chance that i'll do the same
thing. I might probably even scrape the paint of the wall sef.

Lol
You see ladies want to act all tough, independent, free-
spirited and feminist, but they don't want to be treated in
that manner. I am totally against all forms of abuse against
women, especially a cheating woman, but i'm also against
ladies trying to eat their cake and having it all @ the same
time.

What the guy in this story did is far from immature in my
own view, in every sense of his actions, it was the right thing
to do.

The girl can keep cheating alright, but she should be
adequately compensated for her misdeeds and put in the
same position she was in abinito before the grass under her
feet started getting green.

WEN I ASK FOR HELP ON HOW TO WOO NOBODY MIND ME

mistypiper:
Cant help but laugh real hard. lol

Back to the issue on ground, As for me ill advice you to ask her to lunch or find out where she likes to unwind. Then you and her would go there , make her comfy then confess your love from way back. Don't force her to get a quick yes I do.

Just act normal and keep communicating with her till you get a response. If she says one thing one thing , It's normal for her to do that unless you get money or you handsome. try make her see your true love for her.

Lastly if she still continue to say NO. Uhmm you go need expert advice then. But no go do pass yourself in impressing her , otherwise you might automatically turn ATM.

Na my o.

YES GUY I APRECIAT , TO ADRESS DE ISSUE MORE AM VERY HANSOM TO D EXTENT DAT MY FELOW GUYZ CONFES IT AT MY BAK .TO TROW MOR LGHT ON IT ,DE GIRL ALWAYS GREET ME AS IF AM D ONE FEEDING HER

Dahjhi:
abeg loan a bro advice bikko

dont get u pls

[quote author=agarawu23 post=33703037]onlyson16 from your moniker, I can see you are the only son of your parents and you are still a little boy of 16 not 22

you should focus more on your studies cos ladies out there aren't worth your emotions but if you insist you want a clue on how to woo her, ronald4lif is ready to give you some logic yes guy am read for it, but tanks for ur advice

[quote author=donbenedict post=33703004]Lmao at "we have been discussing canaly"

yes i mean we av not ben talking emotionaly

Pls guyz i realy need ut help rite now ,there was dis girl i admired very much, to abrigde down everytin i was her senior wen we was in secondary scul in 2o12 but den i av not use to feel girls after evertin i left dem in 2012 but she left in 2013 but fortunatly to me we mate at jamb centre in owere after expresion of a long lent of arm we exchange our number till den i hav been calling her and we av been discusin canaly cos i dont no how to start wooin her nd am very sure she av been expectin me to woo her but i dont no were to start , what will i first start with nd how ,cose am not use to girl nd alwayz feel ashame nd wot if she said no , so guyz help am 22

truthalways:
I recently noticed that our newly wedded ladies are retaining their fathers name after marriage. You hear names like Bisi Johnson-Adekunle, Evangeline Ojukwu-Chukwuma or Halima Haruna-Ciroma. Guys can you allow this and ladies why are you doing this?

abi na joke or jjookkyy meanwhile e no fit apen for ma area

Abî una no de tire 4 dis una tory na

bizmogul:
I wish I could but the issue of trust comes in here. I once connected 2 of my female friends to my male friends, it didn't work. One of my friends lied, all he wanted was the big tits and the cookies according to her.

no am very seriose pls ,u can c my email dere

lalasticlala:
http://www.punchng.com/feature/lagos-pulse/decomposing-corpse-chases-patients-out-of-wards/

help investigate were da corpse frm u go no say na Yoruba corpse be dat na so dem de do v

kestolove95:
as I just see d post I knw sai e no go b anybody if no b igbo

an what next, anumanu mkpi

steppin:
Your papa! Una wan make we be one naija abi?
Na una go tire!
Thank God we're not the one trying and fighting so hard to be one Nigeria.

yes my big bros no mind they we can neva agree for nosnse one nigeria,who ar dey ?