₦airaland Forum

More pix pls. Where is it located. Ready to close deal by weekend..

1.1m cash tomorrow morning. I'm in lere if you don't mind.

smart guy. i got myself 2 plots in different locations before i got married still without a car . and im not even contemplating one for now.

march 29th here,

cant do it for anything ! its insanity

[quote author=t-flow link=topic=103583.msg2157932#msg2157932 date=1208291497]Yea. I wouldn't allow my sister to go to that school, there alot of other schools. And if its my girlfriend thats gotta be there, then we had better end whatever we have together because I hate having hard feelings for any girl. Its the truth guys, I HAVE SEEN OSU FILM B4, you screwing this bitches and their boy friends are calling and you hear them expressing so much love for the dude, he believes his angel is in school while one big bobo dey yansh her 24/7, its really pathetic, What I am saying is essence is that 98% OF OSU GURLS HAVE A PRICE TAG ON THEM. It coule be money, it could be anything, you just have to know their PIN code to gain access to their database, Thats the simple truth buddies,[/quote]better for you my guy, ve had my on pound of what they've got to offer, they are nothing but set of "heart breakers", money seeking aristos, they are bad experience i dnt think i could ever forget that, . once beaten twice shy, thrice beaten, abeg do the maths for me,

sucks, fake, unprofessional, man the list is endless

i quite agree wt uchena, u see most relationship on campus don't always end up @ the altar especially those of you guys living couples life on campus,

my advice to you is to decide what to choose from between a broken heart with a good grade after school AND a broken heart with a bad grade, because this guy is definitely leaving there's no two way about it,

@ desiree ,
i think i just had a clue or i shud say a solution to my problem,

i guess i need 2 check where i have been looking all this while,

thankx, alot,

Ambassador Ahmadu Alli Writes President Yar’Adua







Tuesday, 15 April 2008

Dear President Yar’Adua,

Ranka dede sir. Saanu da aiki sir. I hope this letter finds you well. If so, doxology. I am constrained to write urgently to intimate you with the frustrating conditions I’ve had to contend with since I assumed duties as Nigeria ’s Ambassador to the Republic of South Africa . You will recall, sir, that I had serious misgivings about being posted to this place but you reassured me that things would work out insha Allah. I must regretfully inform you, sir, that you were wrong. This place is hell and I don’t know what I am doing here. The ways of the South Africans are indeed very strange.

The first serious signals of South Africa ’s backwardness and dysfunctionality became apparent when I landed at the airport in Johannesburg . I was profoundly shocked to discover that only two official vehicles from the Nigerian embassy and three embassy staff were on hand to receive me. This was a serious breach of protocol. When was the last time I moved in anything less than a motorcade of twenty five cars, heralded by AK-47-wielding soldiers and koboko-swishing mobile policemen sweeping civilians out of my way? I felt naked, empty, and vulnerable. I felt betrayed by those embassy boys who appeared to have forgotten how we handle matters of protocol for people of my standing in Nigeria . Obviously, I wasn’t going to subject myself to the indignity of leaving the airport in a ‘motorcade’ of two miserable embassy vehicles. I sat put and told the boys to organize. They finally found a solution by renting five cars from the Avis car rental outlet to bring the tally of vehicles to seven.

Needless to say your Excellency, I had to ‘manage’ a convoy of only seven cars. Without siren! As if this outrage weren’t enough, we had barely made it out of the airport when we found ourselves in one of Johannesburg ’s notorious traffic jams. Again, our boys from the embassy had no idea what to do – when we post these boys out, we must insist they visit Nigeria twice a year your Excellency. They are completely out of touch. Just imagine, I had to suggest to them to phone the Chief of Army Staff and the Inspector General of Police to send troops to come and clear the road for us. Rather than act, they sat there looking at me with eyes so wide open they almost popped out of their sockets. Then one obsequious fool explained that “things don’t work that way here, sir”. “How do you know, have you ever tried”, I asked him.

I did not fare any better on my first day on the job, your Excellency. The first thing on my agenda was to present my letters of accreditation to President Thabo Mbeki. Regrettably, I left arrangements to our boys in the embassy. Their shoddy handling of the airport situation should have taught me a lesson! I had expected them to rent a white horse and a crowd of at least one hundred singing and drumming Nigerians to form a procession. I was going to ride the white horse through the streets of Pretoria , all the way to Union Building , with our people singing and drumming. You know, the way we do things back home. What did I get instead? The Ambassador’s official car, a driver and one miserable aide! At my urging, they had to rent five cars from avis! If I hadn’t insisted, the boys would have done untold harm to Nigeria ’s image as the giant of Africa by having her Ambassador drive to that ceremony in only one car. No policemen. No soldiers. No siren!

The humiliation continued when we got to Union Building . Only the official car with the Nigerian flag was allowed in. They wouldn’t allow the rental cars in because they were not accredited. I told my aide to go and “see” the appropriate people only to be told by the rude boy that they don’t “see” people in South Africa . How do you run a country where you don’t “see” people? How do you get things done? Anyway, the ceremony went well your Excellency. The only disappointing thing is the simplicity of the surroundings of President Mbeki. Things were so simple you had no idea you were in the Presidency. They are not doing Africa proud at all sir. From what I saw, my estimation is that the budget that maintains the South African Presidency for a whole year is approximately the size of the weekly entertainment budget of a Nigerian Minister or Governor.

My second day on the job was even more frustrating, Mr. President. I was briefed that we had an application for a new plot of land languishing at the Pretoria city hall. There is an embassy expansion project in the pipeline. Apparently, the application has been at city hall for more than two years because the plot we want happens to be in a protected green area. My predecessors have had no luck with the Mayor. Pray, your Excellency, why deal with the Mayor when things could be accelerated the Nigerian way? So, I phoned the Mayor and respectfully and politely asked for the name and phone number of his Godfather. My intention was to “see” his Godfather and promise him an oil block allocation in the Niger Delta if he would prevail on his political godson to alter the Pretoria Master Plan and give us a plot in the green area. To my surprise, the Mayor told me that he had read Mario Puzzo’s novel but had never seen the movie! These South Africans are unbelievably backward! When I finally got him to understand what I meant – after almost an hour of explanations – he laughed condescendingly and said “we don’t do that in South Africa , Mr. Ambassador. We cannot alter the city’s Master Plan”. Unbelievable, isn’t it? Have these people never heard of Abuja ? So, what exactly do they do here? What is this idea of people getting elected to political office without Godfathers? I banged the phone on him. If I had continued the conversation, I couldn’t put it past him to give me the extraordinary yarn that they also organize elections here without thugs, guns, and ballot box stuffing.

My nightmare in this country continued last week when I went to the University of the Witwatersrand in Johannesburg . One of our very useful boys – an unemployed graduate of the University of Ibadan who helped organize the shipment of arms and recruited cult members to help us capture the Oyo state government house for Alhaji Chief Alao Akala – has decided to quit the political scene in Nigeria and return to his studies. He emailed to notify me that he has an application for graduate studies at Wits. Could I please look into it? The boy served the PDP so diligently and I was inclined to help him. So I went to Wits last week to see the Registrar. She informed me that they did indeed receive the boy’s application but he did not meet the minimum admission requirements for graduate studies at Wits. Duh, as if I didn’t already know that before asking to meet with her! I asked if we could come to an agreement and opened the Ghana-must-go bag I had with me. Crisp bales of rand notes smiled from the bag. She screamed and sent me out of her office, claiming that she would have had me arrested if I didn’t enjoy diplomatic immunity. As I did not want to return to Pretoria with the money, I made one last ditch effort. I phoned the University’s information service and requested to speak with the Registrar’s Garrison Commander. Predictably, nobody had any clue! I gave up on South Africa at this point. I mean, what kind of country is this? People get positions and appointments without Godfathers and Garrison Commanders. I don’t understand. Your Excellency, there is really no place like home. All I would have had to do in Nigeria is place one phone call to any Vice Chancellor. The boy would end up in the Vice Chancellor’s discretionary admission list with immediate effect.

Your Excellency, these unending insults and indignities are nothing compared to the stubbornness with which people address me here as Mr. Ambassador. Nonsense. I’ve insisted that they use the full list of my honorifics to no avail. Who would dare leave out anything from this list in Nigeria – Ambassador, Senator, Doctor, Chief Ahmadu Alli. Nobody here seems to understand that none of these items can be left out when addressing me. Mind you, to make things easy for the South Africans, I’ve even reluctantly left out all the items that would compulsorily come after my name in Nigeria – MON, OFR, GCFR, etc etc etc. Pray, if they can’t get a paltry total of four honorific prefixes right, how are they going to contend with the suffixes?

Your Excellency, it is clear that I am not going to be able to stay here. I can’t function. There system is completely upside down. May I humbly request to be posted to Cameroon or Benin Republic ? They are our neighbours. Years of associating with us have rubbed off them. They know how things are done. They understand. If the slots in Yaoundé and Cotonou are not available, I won’t mind the UK . The British are far more tolerant of the way we do things. They see no evil, hear no evil, and speak no evil in order not to endanger the oil flow. London is far more amenable to the Nigerian way than Pretoria . I should be able to function there.

Yours in service to Nigeria ,

Ambassador, Senator, Doctor, Chief Ahmadu Alli, MON, OFR, GCFR, etc etc etc.

All you need is a software.(i cant really recollect the name of a free one i used long ago) and with little networking experience you can set it up and thats all.
i'll help you contact a friend who is deep into open source.

@ty4real i guess u r entitle to ur opinion, but as far as i am concerned and based on my own experience, its a no go area 4 now,

thats true

u can route easily through oshodi and board another to palm grove onipan and drop by ilupeju bye pass.thats on one side another is through ojuelegba and

from ojuelegba u take another bus going through palm groove onipan and drop at same bus stop. best of luck guys sure hope 2 see u guys there.

hey guyz just stumble on ds ad @ikeja and decided 2 give it a try , its real oracle 9i - 10g 4

45k @ domnet u can give me a call 4 more details .

08030799930

paso

u can equally call me on 08030799930,when u get 2 s/lere i can easily come over and check on u,

hey guys ! i have this toshiba laptop( close to new) pentium4, 2.66ghz proc speed, 256mb ram , 40G HDD, DVD/CD rewritetable for sale . anyone


interested should holla :

laptop @ 08030799930.

though ve been using suse linux 4 d past 1yr +, but ve not tried connecting to d internet using dial up anyway. what i feel u shud do is , try yast


(either text mode or @ ur gui) i think there shud be a way to do that,i'll equally try it when i'm less busy and get back to u, mail me @


kallmesheyi@yahoo.com to let me know how far u've gone with .

pasolomo. omo alhaja.erin dodo.

how do i get it across 2 you ( 5 cds in all), coz i'm in surulere

pasolomo.