Husband faints in the labour room while

wife takes a selfie and smiles.

A surprise birthday party went horribly wrong when a

lady saw an iPhone box inside the cake presented to

her by her fiance ... she burst into tears, hugged and

kissed her fiance. She then said “nothing in this world

will ever stop me from loving you”.

When she finally opened the box and found out that it

wasn’t an iPhone as she had expected but an

ordinary apple� fruit; she started raining insults on

him saying “stupid idiot, ugly fool, i didn't even

know how i started with you in the first place, i

should have dated 'him' instead of you, am done with

you”. Out of anger and disappointment, she threw the

box at him and to her surprise, an engagement ring�

with a car key� dropped out from the box.

My question is this :

Would you accept her back if you were her fiance in

this scenario?

07038594844

A situation where guarding your food supplies is the most important thing to do during total lockdown

Enemyofdarkness:
Today is a good day so I feel like dashing out something but everything comes with a price lol.

So I'm giving out recharge cards to 20 persons here that can get this

Glass 7

I will appreciate a 2-day permission to be absent from work sir.. My sister will be getting married...
I haven't finished when my boss shouted... Who will clear the files on your table? Who will do this and
that? I'm sorry, you can't go.... I felt bad but important...

One day, we lost a colleague of ours....
Everybody was summoned, as the speaker addressed other employees who were sobbing... "A minute silence to honour her.." he said...
In less than 30seconds, he said May her soul Rest in Peace, Amen. You can all go back to work...

Then I asked my boss, "Sir, who will clear her table and do all she was doing?
He smiled and said, "someone will resume with us next week to take her place...."

I used to think i was irreplaceable but this has thought me that if i were the one who died, someone else would resume to clear the files

- To those who shout at people at work and make them feel irrelevant, be careful you are just a colleague.

- To those who act in church like without them things can't be done properly, ask Elijah; God has over 7000 better servants waiting to step in.

- To all who are so pompous and feel the world revolves round them and should be treated with so much respect they don't give to others.....go and ask Nebuchadnezzar; he was disgracefully humbled.

- To those who are so disrespectful to constituted authority by virtue of knowledge/experience/status etc....watch out you will be on the side of authority soon; expect more than what you have done/given because it will always come back to you.

- Someday you will go..(Death..Retirement.. Resignation.. Promotion.. Transfer.. Relocation....)
And guess what? Work will continue...

- Church will wax stronger....

- Family like water will find its level...

- Persons/Friends will adjust well in good time...

- That thing you think cannot be done without you will not die nor suffer.
It is like Military barracks....Soldiers go Soldiers come but Barracks/Military base remain.. they might miss your ideas, But trust me, _YOU ARE NOT IRREPLACEABLE._

Experience has shown that when your kind/type leaves the system, greater opportunities open for others.

As a matter of fact they will not miss your unpleasant nature but make a mockery of it at their leisure.
Do what you can and let others do theirs.

You're NOT 'more special' than others; it's just a *Privilege* that you're enjoying.

Be *Calm*

Be *Submissive*

Be *Humble*

Be *Reasonable*

Be *Accountable*

Be *Respectful*

Show Love to others even when they make mistakes.....

Your nature is what you are remembered for, it is the memory of you that remains with the people.
Bad nature easily over shadows good ones.

Therefore, watch your actions because what we have here is really a small WORLD!

The World is like a Small Garden....take care of your bit to Glorify God.

Credit: FB

To maintain a healthy vagina you must know what to do to avoid infection and it is equally important to educate your sexual partner on some of them to also help you help the vagina.

Here are some few things you can do or avoid;;
•
1. Fingering

During pre-intimacy or romance, as part of it some people insert their finger or fingers into the vagina. The question is, how many people wash their hands before sexual intercourse? Some people do not even keep their nails clean so it gathers a lot of germs and during the fingering, these germs are deposited in the vagina...leading to infection. Same thing apply to autopleasure acts or masturbation.
•
2. Anal sex

I am not here to tell anybody to have anal sex or not to but I simply want to draw the attention of those who engage in anal sex with the opposite sex that it is dangerous to have anal sex and continue having penovaginal sex. If this is done, the penis will pick bacteria from the anus and deliver them to the vagina even if you are using a condom....which will lead to infection.
•
3. Quest to make the vagina TIGHT

Some guys complain bitterly about the vagina of their sexual partners. They complain that it's too big and they no more feel any sensation during intercourse. Some ladies are therefore pushed to find a quick solution and in the process some use herbs or other substances in the vagina with the hope of making the vagina tight. Some of the substances cause infection or sepsis. Some of the herbs can cause the vagina to get tighter to the extent that penetration is no more possible. This will require treatment.
•
4. Douching

Some parents, when bathing for their baby girls put warm water in a milk tin or dip a towel in the warm water and pour the water through a hole made beneath the tin or squeeze the water out of the towel into the vagina of the baby. This is sooooo WRONG as it can damage the hymen.

Some parents also insert ginger or pepper or both into the vagina of adolescents as a form of punishment. This is sooooo WRONG as it can lead to infection.

Some people are use to bathing by adding dettol or other detergents to the water and they put this solution inside the vagina with the help of sponge or towel or just the hand with soap to clean the vagina.

This is soooo WRONG as it will change the normal flora in the vagina, leading to infection.
•
5. Use of water closet

Some people have the habit of not sitting on the seat of the WC when using it so they end up urinating on the seat. The possibility of picking infection when using it in that condition is high. Don't let your pant be at the thigh level when using the WC especially the public ones as the inner of the pant may rub the surface of the WC. Where the water is not running and people have used but have not flushed and you don't have any choice but to also use it, use enough toilet roll to cover before using the WC to avoid any splashes on the vulva.
•
6. Washing and drying

Develop the habit of disinfecting your panties frequently...depending on the number of pants you have. Keep exclusive panties to wear whenever you are menstruating and don't mix those panties with your regular panties. Pay particular attention to those panties when washing. Ensure that the panties are made of cotton and are dried in the sun or well ironed to kill germs.
•
7. Change sanitary pads

Some people try to economize the use of their sanitary pads so during the period they tend to still wear the pad because there is little or no blood. This is so WRONG as it can lead to infection.
•
NB

If there is any bad odour from the vagina or there is a discharge coming from the vagina, then it might be an infection which you have. Do have it treated.

Help save the vagina by ensuring that you get the message to as many friends as possible. Help save the vagina by getting the message to your sexual partner or sisters.

Source: Facebook

The Woman's breasts are filled with hyper-sensitive nerve endings that get stimulated when touched, sucked or licked.

Men love to suck the breast just as women love their breast to be stimulated. But some men avoid a woman's breast as soon as she gets pregnant because they believe the breast milk is harmful to Adults.

BUT CAN AN ADULT ALSO TAKE BREAST MILK?....

YES...

Breast milk is quite beneficial for adults too... It increases an adult immunity as it does in children.

BENEFITS TO THE WOMAN:

1.. BALANCING HER CARDIOVASCULAR SYSTEM

It helps to balance the cardiovascular system. If a woman breast is sucked for a long period of time, it increases the heart beat rate of a woman to 110 beats per minute. It is a very good exercise for your heart health.

2. WANT A FIRMER FACE?

Then do not be reluctant for your hubby to suck your breast. It helps to move more than 30 female facial muscles; and improves blood flow in the skin.

3. HELPS HER REACH ORGASM:

If you are the type that don't feel or enjoy sex, encourage your hubby to suck your breast and play with your nipples. I bet, you will reach orgasm.

4. BOOSTS HER IMMUNE SYSTEM:

It is a natural remedy that stimulates the immune system resulting in the production of antibodies that can protect against viruses. This process is called 'CROSS IMMUNO-THERAPY'.

During breast sucking, the breath of a woman becomes faster more than 60 times per minute. INHALING AND EXHALING MORE OFTEN WILL HELP PREVENT A VARIETY OF diseases OF THE LUNGS.

5. PREVENTS CANCER OF THE BREAST

Study has shown that sucking and massaging a breast simultaneously and vigorously help to reduce chances of a breast lumps which can develop to cancer.. It helps in easy flow of hormones and prevent lumps in the breast.

BENEFITS TO THE MAN

Breast milk can tackle cancer. Men with cancer cells, digestive disorder and immune disorder are advised to drink several ounces of milk daily or weekly to ease the ravages of CHEMOTHERAPY.

Milk helps to booster his immune system and improve digestion.

WOMEN, IF YOU ARE A BREASTFEEDING MUM, WILLINGLY ALLOW YOUR BABY TO FEED FROM THE BREAST AS LONG AS THE BABY WANTS. AS YOU'RE BREASTFEEDING, MASSAGE THE BREAST TO PREVENT LUMPS ; SAME IF YOU ARE USING BREAST PUMP, MASSAGE AS YOU PUMP.

IF YOUR HUBBY LOVES TO SUCK BREAST, PLEASE ALLOW HIM TO SUCK YOUR BREAST TODAY AND ALWAYS.

ENCOURAGE YOUR BABY AND HUBBY TO SUCK YOUR BREAST. IT'S A WIN WIN THING FOR YOU.

Source: Facebook.

The Woman's breasts are filled with hyper-sensitive nerve endings that get stimulated when touched, sucked or licked.

Men love to suck the breast just as women love their breast to be stimulated. But some men avoid a woman's breast as soon as she gets pregnant because they believe the breast milk is harmful to Adults.

BUT CAN AN ADULT ALSO TAKE BREAST MILK?....

YES...

Breast milk is quite beneficial for adults too... It increases an adult immunity as it does in children.

BENEFITS TO THE WOMAN:

1.. BALANCING HER CARDIOVASCULAR SYSTEM

It helps to balance the cardiovascular system. If a woman breast is sucked for a long period of time, it increases the heart beat rate of a woman to 110 beats per minute. It is a very good exercise for your heart health.

2. WANT A FIRMER FACE?

Then do not be reluctant for your hubby to suck your breast. It helps to move more than 30 female facial muscles; and improves blood flow in the skin.

3. HELPS HER REACH ORGASM:

If you are the type that don't feel or enjoy sex, encourage your hubby to suck your breast and play with your nipples. I bet, you will reach orgasm.

4. BOOSTS HER IMMUNE SYSTEM:

It is a natural remedy that stimulates the immune system resulting in the production of antibodies that can protect against viruses. This process is called 'CROSS IMMUNO-THERAPY'.

During breast sucking, the breath of a woman becomes faster more than 60 times per minute. INHALING AND EXHALING MORE OFTEN WILL HELP PREVENT A VARIETY OF diseases OF THE LUNGS.

5. PREVENTS CANCER OF THE BREAST

Study has shown that sucking and massaging a breast simultaneously and vigorously help to reduce chances of a breast lumps which can develop to cancer.. It helps in easy flow of hormones and prevent lumps in the breast.

BENEFITS TO THE MAN

Breast milk can tackle cancer. Men with cancer cells, digestive disorder and immune disorder are advised to drink several ounces of milk daily or weekly to ease the ravages of CHEMOTHERAPY.

Milk helps to booster his immune system and improve digestion.

WOMEN, IF YOU ARE A BREASTFEEDING MUM, WILLINGLY ALLOW YOUR BABY TO FEED FROM THE BREAST AS LONG AS THE BABY WANTS. AS YOU'RE BREASTFEEDING, MASSAGE THE BREAST TO PREVENT LUMPS ; SAME IF YOU ARE USING BREAST PUMP, MASSAGE AS YOU PUMP.

IF YOUR HUBBY LOVES TO SUCK BREAST, PLEASE ALLOW HIM TO SUCK YOUR BREAST TODAY AND ALWAYS.

ENCOURAGE YOUR BABY AND HUBBY TO SUCK YOUR BREAST. IT'S A WIN WIN THING FOR YOU.

Source: Facebook.

Are there any faulty BlackBerry classic phones on ground?

As a man, keeping your penis healthy and sweet is important.

Your sexual organs are very valuable and must be cared for.

1. A clean penis is very important so wash your penis with warm water at least twice a day. Clean the scrotum and under the penis shaft gently and scrub your scrotal sack too.

2. Leaving too much hair around the penis is not cool.
During sex,the hair can cause cuts on the vaginal organs and condom.

Also, hair around the base of the penis can be breeding ground for boils and cause bad odour so shave or keep it short and clean.

3. Don't pamper the penis too much, As soon as you notice an infection, boil, rashes, please get help immediately.

4. Many guys wear one boxer for a whole week or even a month but for health reasons pls change your boxers everyday.
Dirty boxer may give your penis a permanent bad smell and a bad taste.

5. Guys what you eat affects the taste of your semen or penile juice.

Avoid too much garlic, onion, alcohol,coffee and spicy foods.

Eat fruits that are high in natural sugar like oranges, apples, mangoes and please take honey too.
They all make your sperm taste good to feed the egg for a healthy baby.

6. A woman's face may need makeup but not your penis.

Avoid using powder around the penis. If you do, especially after shaving, you might have to deal with serious irritation.

The penis doesn't need perfume to smell good so don't spray perfume around your penis.

7. Wash your inner wears often try and buy new ones when due...

*NB*: For those who are not circumcised, in your case, please pull back the the foreskin and wash underneath with warm water everyday.

Always remember, a clean penis is mightier than Goliath's sword..

Finally guys, please go for a quick check up if you notice any changes within your scrotum, this could be a sign of prostrate cancer.

It's common among men about and above 50years of age.

Please, this is an educational material so don't take offence prostate cancer is real.

Source: Facebook

Olu is a house boy who drinks his boss' wine and then adds water for cover up.​ ​His boss became suspicious and decided to buy pasties ( A french wine that changes colour if water is added)​.

​As usual, Olu drank the pasties and topped it up with water. ​Unfortunately for him, the pasties changed colour. When the boss came back home and noticed the colour change, he told his wife about it.​ ​
Olu knew he was in trouble and decided to stay in the kitchen.
​
​The boss shouted, "Olu!!!"
​
​Olu answered.."Yes, Sir!"
​
​Boss.. "Who drank the pasties?"​
​Olu didn't respond.
​
The boss asked again, still got no answer. Then the boss went to the kitchen to confront him.​ "Are you insane or what? When I called you, you said 'Yes Sir', but when I asked you a question, you didn't answer me!
​Hmmm Oga, when you are in the kitchen you don't hear anything except your name,"​ Olu answered.
"Let's try it. Okay go to the bar and stand beside madam, while I will stay in the kitchen. Then call me and then ask me any question,"​ The Boss suggested.
Olu shouted, "Boss!"​
​Boss answered, "Yes!"
​
​Olu asked, "Who goes into the maid's bedroom when madam isn't around?"
​
​Boss didn't answer​.
​Olu asked again, the Boss kept quiet.
​
​The boss came out from the kitchen shouting, "Wonders shall never end!!!
Olu it's true oo. When one's in the kitchen, one doesn't hear anything except ones name"​.
​The wife interrupted, "That's not true. It's a lie".​
​Without argument Olu asked if she'd like to enter the kitchen to be tested and she agreed.
​
​Olu called, "Madam!
​Madam answered, "Yes!"
​
​Olu asked, "Who is Junior's biological father? Me or boss?"​
​Madam rushed out of the kitchen saying, "This kitchen needs to be checked, I can't hear anything!"​

Have a wonderful day.

Source: from Facebook

A very funny but true story.









Source: facebook

Pearl1996:
Nairaland famiy I need help.

Somethings been eating me up. I had sex with my boyfriend some weeks later i started falling so sick I will try to point out all I can remember
*Came down with what I felt was fever was burning hot so hot you just need to come close to feel the heat

*at night I sweat. Not just the usual sweat but one I have to change my clothes two times a nigbt(this happened for like a week)

* I started feeling so cold especially in the morning. Doctor said it was pneumonia + a cough that lasted for three weeks plus.

*and the rashes I ve never have in my whole life spreaded all over my arms and back as well as my breast region.

* I also had serious muscle ache. Serious that my mom had to help me massage it. My neck did hurt too it felt like someone hit me with a blank on my neck

* nodes on my neck, groin, as well as ear.
* I started having blurred vision and sores on my lips like fever blisters

* and then injuries in my mouth, weird ones
* I have oral trush at least thats what I thought them to be. White tongue I have had this before but this onr is different. With slimy white things in my mouth every time

*I also experienced dehydration and dry mouth.
* also had a delayed flow

The symptoms are so much I can't even mention it all. Most of these lasted for about a month +. I still have cold till this day. I shiver most times and its my major fear. And the rashes are still there.

This Is the major problem. The nurse who was handling me said it might be an STD maybe HIV I took plethora of test including HIV after 3 months all came back negative, I was told to wait 6montgs to check for HIv again it was still negativr. During this month I have seen so many doctors, private and government all they do is givr me drugs but I still experience the pneumonia cold( no cough) and occasional mouth sores as well as the rash. My boyfriend now my ex took HIV too it was negative.
Please doctors in the house what can this be. I have read so many threads here on naira land of people who had same experience but some later turned + they might be lying though.

I heard after 6 months and test is still negative then its not it. My question now is. What is wrong with me. I have spent so much on drugs and test. And no doctor is able to say what my problem is. Its making me crazy as I am even scared to shower because of the cold and I can't let people see my body due to rash.

I need help.

Hello Pearl. I know what you are going through, forget about all those who are mocking and making jest of your situation,those are human beings for you to know. Since you have done all medical tests with no result pinpointing to a particular disease; go to a known prayer house for prayers.

TriggahMan:
Broda looking lost in the moment

What about this?

If you ever have this opportunity, how many will you give out?

Last Friday, I took a guest to an upscale Restaurant. I noticed that the waiter had a spoon in his shirt pocket.

I looked around and saw all the waiters had spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came I inquired, "Why do you place the spoon in your pocket?"

He explained, "The boss hired McKinsey Consulting to reengineer our processes. They discovered the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. Approximately 3 spoons per table per hour are dropped. If our staff carry spoons, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare one.

"I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now."

I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the Indian waiter's zip. Looking around, I saw that all of the Indian waiters had the same string hanging from their zips. I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, can you tell me why you have that string there?"

Then the waiter lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. McKinsey also suggested we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of our manhood, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 45%."

I asked quietly, "After you get it out, how do you put it back?"

He whispered, "Mckinsey didn't mention that in report, so, _We use the spoon_"

END.

*Copied!*

Good morning!

Op, your J7 pro will be priced to a very low price on this forum.

A drugs law officer stopped at a farm in Ogun state, and talked with an old farmer.

He told the farmer, "I need to inspect your farm for illegally grown drugs."

The farmer said, "Okay , but don't go in that field over there.....", as he pointed out the location.

The drugs squad officer verbally exploded saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Government with me."

Reaching into his rear trouser pocket, he removed his official ID card and proudly displayed it to the farmer.

"See this ID card? This ID card means I am allowed to go wherever I wish. On any land !! No questions asked or answers given !! Have I made myself clear. Do you understand ?"

The old farmer nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores.

A short time later, the old farmer heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the drugs squad officer running for his life, being surrounded by a swarm of wild bees
The officer was clearly terrified.
The old farmer threw down his tools, ran to the fence and shouted at the top of his lungs.........
Stop running & Show them your ID card...oh...!!"‎

�����������

Source: Forwarded message on whatsapp.

Jerkules:
I read this News with my Dog and He saw a life-changing text in it..He no more Barks at me when I scold him and he can now wave at Visitors.... Thank you OP

Eeeeeeeeyah!

muyikutkene:
@PENNIEL, which company is that, help a brother

Chat me up on 09069386523. Please, I deliberately did so that you will check the website out, think and take a step about it.Most people here will definitely castigate and make trash of the company.

Note: I am not affiliated to the company so that you will not think otherwise.

Sincerely speaking, why not visit their office to ascertain if they are real or not? I heard about one company similar to that of no failure investment company on radio. I had to write down the office address and telephone number. I went there to see for myself, asked about some questions and invested in the company. At least I receive bank alert on my phone every 30working days(excluding public holidays), but it depends on how much you invest. Its per unit share(N75,000 per unit share) and you get N25,000 every 30 working days. It has helped in my poultry biz. You will receive it for a year while your initial money is intact.