₦airaland Forum

to think i biked anyhow before it was banned, to think i crossed the road dangerously sometimes, to think i cud have had so many accidents...to know i have done nothing to deserve Your divine protection...GOD I THANK YOU...U ARE TOO PLENTY. I pray every of this girl's dreams would come true and she would be a great success, amen

I was home then, came back from school wanting to watch cartoons (was quite small)b4 doing assignments bt was pissed as almost all station were showing it live. Didn't make sense to me and wasn't cartoon so i was vexed...

Every1 is talking about NCCF across diff parts and states in the country, i don't see any one talking about Lagos. I was a Lagos corper spill-over to Ekiti camp, I attended the services, even the early morning services(sometimes)and evening services. I enjoyed every part of it and made up my mind to be a main part of it as soon as i was in Lagos. Getting to Lagos, it was a diff ball game entirely, 1st the meeting tyms didnt work for me (work and other stuff, total lack of info e.t.c Lagos NCCF corpers pls what has been your experience? I'm due to end service soon but would nt mind to be a part of the Family still take part in activities e.t.c

really hilarious, i think he is the complete prince charming, check well he is holding the sword

dis reminds me of skool days (NT SO LONG AGO), i had a lecturer who wud come to class and spend 1 hr out of 2hrs to conduct praise and worship section and only 30mins to teach ,
Another one is dat some lecturers were so dry and boring bt u MUST LISTEN TO THEM COS OF THEIR TEST N EXAMS, wen they talk u want to pull ur hair out.
N some lecturers make themselves so high and mighty as if they were God, in fact dey believe dey are gods in the dept, mtweecheee,
lecturers shud be more approachable and friendly, n dey shud TEACH N NOT COME TO GIST OR GIVE OUT NOTES, OR ABUSE PPLS,

This article is by no means backed by any kind of exhaustive and reliable research. It is based solely on my experiences, as well as those of my friends, colleagues and acquaintances. I’m sure a lot of ladies out there will recognize some of these characters as well as I do. I hereby proceed to outline below the types of men Nigerian women love and hate: 

1.     [color=Black] Chauvinist Pig aka Captain Caveman:[/color]
This dude really, really wants to be *Don Draper when he grows up. He considers himself the ultimate alpha male, and scoffs at the family man he spots frolicking around on the beach with his children on a Saturday afternoon. Captain Caveman is there with his family only after persistent cajoling from his wife. He sits a distance away from them as ‘The Wife’ plays a game of ‘Catch the Waves’ with the kids. As far as he is concerned, a real man should never be found playing around in public, period. Kids or no kids.  He believes a woman is really only good for the three C’s; cooking, cleaning and child rearing, and harbors a secret resentment towards the Manager of his department at work who is a female. Captain Caveman often reminisces about the good old days, back when men beat women over the head with a club and dragged them home to their caves as a kind of wooing ritual. Never mind that he never actually experienced those times. He dreams of a utopia where women know their place, and thinks men who support their wives careers and businesses are wimps. The Chauvinist Pig is rarely in touch with his emotions; he is not a romantic and will only buy flowers as part of his contributions towards a funeral. Personally, this dude is not my cup of tea but I guess one woman’s poison is another woman’s steak. To each his own I suppose.

2.   Mr. Sexually Confused aka Gay but in Denial:
So…you know that really cute guy, with the perfectly pressed shirts, who matched his socks to his ties and almost always smelt faintly of some citrus-ey (floral?) scent? The one whom you had a crush on because he always just seemed so perfectly put together? The dude with whom you felt some sort of  bond with  partly because he knew the difference between wedges and espadrilles, could chat comfortably for an hour about the benefits of loose mineral powder and knew just a little too much about waxing, eyelash curling and deep conditioning treatments (and not because he was in the beauty industry). That guy now…the one who almost seemed to empathize with your PMS and had a mild obsession with watching Sex and the City reruns? No? Yeah, me neither. The problem with Mr. Sexually Confused is that on the surface he appears to be the perfect package. You friends love him, your mother adores him, but you can’t quite shake that nagging feeling that something is wrong, horribly wrong somewhere. It may not be the fact that he seems extremely content to pat you on the head as a sign of affection or that he uses the word “yucky” several hundred times a day. It may not be because his best guy friend has a thing for skin-tight t-shirts and wears lip gloss. You could even ignore the Calvin Klein ads featuring David Beckham that are the screen saver on his laptop and background picture on his phone. But, the day he waits just a few seconds too late before answering in the affirmative when you ask if he is really attracted to you, you realize exactly what the problem is. My advice to women? Upon sighting of a Sexually Confused Male, run! No one ever really wants to be dumped for a male model named ‘Desire’

3. Boy Next Door (BND) aka Male BFF:
The BND is that guy that a girl can talk to about almost everything. Yeah almost. Some things just have to remain private. Anyways, he may or may not literally live a street away from you, but he’s always welcome to come over to yours for a meal of ofada rice and ‘designer stew’. You give him all the low down about the strange hang up calls you’ve been getting in the middle of the night, and how much you can’t stand your girlfriends’ new boyfriend. He is there for you in the ways that matter the most and is one of the first people you think about calling when you get some important news. The mistake a lot of women make is that they shove the BND into the “We can only ever be friends and nothing more” box. Sometimes, this can turn out to be the biggest oversight of your love life. Ladies, don’t risk the chance of waking up one day after dating one too many losers and a ‘gay- but- in -denial’ only to realize that you let the good one get away. By the time you realize this, your BND might just be happily married with 2.4 kids and a white picket….oh all right, white cement covered, barb-wired fence in Parkview Estate. Any feelings he ever had for you would have been completely forgotten at this point. The worst part? That’s when you realize that you can’t go crying to your girlfriend, because ever since she married the boyfriend you can’t stand she’s gone completely incognito.


4.      The Player aka Commitment Hater:
This Boy grew up watching movies like “How to be a Player” with his older brothers and decided then that he wanted to be Bill Bellamy when he grew up. He struts around with what he conceives in his mind to be major swagger. If he is below 19, this means shuffling about with a permanent slouch, head bent, one arm in pocket, right arm under left nostril, as he tries to chat up victims.  If he is older, it means hitting on every female, from the servers at the staff canteen to the boss’s wife at the company dinner. The sad truth about a player is that, a lot of the time, the girls getting played are completely aware of the situation. They often choose naively, to believe that they can change him, that he is that way because he has never experienced true love, that all they need to do is love him enough and one day he’ll realize that one special woman is all he needs. Wake up! It hardly ever happens like that. A person needs to take a personal decision and make a commitment to his self in order to change his lifestyle choices. So unless you want to end up as another Mrs. @Lagoshunter (twitter peeps will get the joke), free this guy. Maybe in favor of the next guy.

5.      The Focused Professional aka Young and upwardly mobile male (YUM):
The YUM is a career driven or business oriented young man who is not afraid of ‘hustle’. He is hard-working, ambitious and is willing to earn his way to the top. He hasn’t made it just yet, but you can tell from having conversations with him that he knows exactly where he is headed and what he wants out of life. So in the meantime, he drives a 1999 Honda and lives in a self-contained apartment while he works towards his dream. Fast forward ten years, and he is that guy in the customized Bentley who is the MD or CEO of a successful company, and a mentor and positive role model to the YUM’s around him. The YUM is a total keeper. I really think girls need to learn to spot a YUM and see the potential in him. We need to be able to pick him out of a line up of other less appealing types of men and say to ourselves, ‘yeah, I’ll stick with this one’.

   6. The Gold Digger aka ‘Babe do you have some change?’:
The Gold digger comes in many disguises. Sometimes, he is a Mr. Fine boy who has sugar mummies at his beck and call. He is probably only dating you because someone told once him that your father is a major share holder in The Central Bank of Nigeria , and he was either too stupid or too greedy to recognize a joke when he heard one. The Gold Digger is always broke, and I mean always. Even though he dresses like he just stepped out of the May edition of GQ. You see, his shirt was a Valentine gift from his Banker babe, his Hermes belt a birthday gift from his girl in “Yankie” and the silver 2010 Honda Accord he drives an anniversary present from Hon. Gbo Gbo Bigz Girl in Abuja. He is the sort of guy who will take you to The Oriental Hotel for Sunday brunch, and then pretend he left his wallet at home when the bill arrives. At other times, The Gold Digger pretends to be a YUM who’s extremely close to landing that major deal/contract that will bring in billions. In the mean time, he needs you to foot his bills while he chases Alhaji around town. So, you pick up his dry cleaning bills, help him with his rent, pay off a few of his monthly car payments and top up his credit at regular intervals, in between loaning him most of your life savings. The Gold Digger should be recognized for what he is- a user who won’t wait two seconds to dump you like hot ‘dodo’ the second he catches a bigger ‘financial’ fish. You have been warned.

I know this list is not completely exhaustive, so I welcome any additions or contributions from other female (and males) out there. So, please feel free to drop a comment, what other kinds of men do you think are out there?


i had a gud laugh after dis cos it is true, do u know any other type?

thank u Outstrip, i tot i was d only 1 dat noticed,

Again b4 I gave birth this lady told him that she had a dream that I died that he shld pray. Later she tld his friend that she was in love with him.

,
@poster, pls investigate dis woman, n exactly everytin dat happened in ur absence, pesin wey want ur hubby n come dey see vision say u die, abeg watch out ooooo, n y did ur hubby "confess" and did nt feel remorseful n also still want dis "spiritual Lady" for a friend?
Please tink abt it, cos i ave seen a friend's relationship crumble cos of a "friend" dat suddenly came 4rm nowhere, saddest  part is d so calld "friends" have der terrible intentions n come around smiling n giving u holy sisterly kiss.

LMAO @ ALL REPLYS, I AM REALLY LEARNING FROM U GUYS

seriously, d bb craze is doin sometin 2 a lot of pples, turnin many into zombies, a lot of girls wud do jos ANYTIN 2 get 1, many have 4gotten dat it is jos a fone (k yeah, it has so many oda apps). lots of pple jos join d bandwagon, many girls get d bb and wud 2 pay 4 BIS wud become a prob den dey start looking guys 2 push it on, I PiRI D Guys sha, especially if dey have 2 pay 4 dere's 2 n dey no be Alhaji. Seriously, smart fones were nt made 4 ppls 2 depend on n have spend dere whole life on it, tot dey were made 2 made for ppls who work round d clock n have serious business 2 do. i read dis article in Feb or Jan Punch, were research prove dat smart fones are under-utilized,

nt saying a bb is bad in itsef, really, bt lets ask oursefs, if sometin becomes addictive n does nt let u focus on oda tin dat wud improve and develop ur life n dat of odas around u is it worth d crazy?
some say odas are hating cos dey don have 1, bt really, if all u do with d bb is chatin, n supposedly keeping in touch wit friends, like dont u have a life?

n really, lets be true 2 oursefs, many bought d bb cos dere friends ave it n nt cos dey NEEDED 1, or  bought it so dey cud get chicks e.t.c basically nt buying d fone itsef bt buying Acceptance, feeling of belonging n status duo.


Anyway d phone company n telecomm companies do benefit from ur madness.  

I had a similar experience on sunday  last week. It happened that i was coming back from church( Canaanland, Otta) to Apapa, when a girl waved me down at the exit. It happened that she was going in my direction. Normally, i dont like driving a long distance alone, so i decided to pick up this pretty young damsel in her very early 20's. As soon as she settled in my front passenger seat, she reached deep into her handbag, low and behold,  she brought out the almighty BB. From that moment on, she just forgot that somebody by way of me was beside. All the questions like 'how was today's church service, whats ya name, what do you do?' fell on deaf ears. She was completely lost in the world of her BB. She didnt care which direction we were driving at, all she did was to, at interval, exclaim 'damn, oh my god, WTF, geez, and a litany of other chat phrases and words. She totally defeated my aim of picking her up, which was companionship. I didnt know she already had a companion, which was her BB. She was to stop at Abule-ado but by the tme she realized herself we were already at Agboju. She had to return to her bus stop which was already some distance apart. The moral of the story is that there is a madness going on presently, which is BB madness and it is more rampant among the female folks. They have been duped, violated, kidnapped, knocked down and exploited because of this BB frenzy. It is really terrible. May God help us and save our girlz from the menancing grip of BB.

gud 4 u n d chick, na only her u see 2 carry ehn, u no see d women n shidren wey dey beg for ride 2 Ojuore, or Abule-egba or iyana-paja    , or me as i dey bless u jos kidding.

sori abt d suitation, bt am nt a fan of divorce especially since u have a kid, n divorce wud definitely affect him (both in d long-term n short-term).
my advice;
1 -face ur studies, graduate well, n get a job.
2 -dont be 2 dependent on him
3 - Beta ask Wise n Xperienced elders in marital issues, cos lot of young pples wud say divorce him (even me on 1st instincts bt i remember divorce is far diff 4rm breakup)
4 - stop crying, really, u are in it, n stop lukin 4 shortcuts (Divorce)
5 - think of ways 2 turn d ugly situation into a beautiful 1, know his P O V, his view of life n his real intentions for u n his kid. talk 2 him n make him see u are a team n goin 2 d village wud nt solve any probs 4 both of u
Dis is jos my own 2 kobo sha, i neva marri oooo. Pls also pray, God is d Best person 2 talk 2 ooooo.

Hi guys, i came across this site and was impressed

http://traffic.tell.com.ng

It is a site were u cud report d traffic in any part of Lagos @ any time of d day, n also read other traffic reports, all thru ur mobile fone. U don need 2 register or login, jos post,
i tink it is pretty new so dere are nt much traffic reports on it yet, bt u cud start posting reports so it could benefit every 1.
It is nt my site, was jos impressed.
so start postin traffic reports so every1 wud benefit n be able 2 avoid d lagos go slow wahala ooooo. thanks

K @ poster, i wud say stealing is definitely nt a gud trait @ all, it cud be dat she saw u as an avenue to solve family issues, n she told u bt u didn't help out.
N she probably felt dat as ur Gf she really didnt 2 ask b4 takin it (tot it was all formality n u wont take it dat way). Take her back if u really love her n think she cud be D 1, bt put her on probation n test her without her knowin.

it is nt always easy to see TERRORIST who almost made ur life unbearable and say past is past (even after u have forgiven dem), especially when dey are nt acting sorry @ all, n then acting like they have control ova ur relationship (still sort of bullish-may because dey still see u as a junior)

Pls if u started dating someone, n you really luv/like the person and believe d two of you cud have a bright future 2geda, n this person tells u abt his/her elder sister/brother who has taken care of him/her since dere mom died, n is like a mother to him/her. Ur bf/bg tell u wonderful stories abt dis sister/brother, ONLY for u to meet her/him (d sister/brother) n den bad memories of wen u were in Junior skool flood back, u remember wen u were punished for no just cause, when u were sent on errands like a slave, when ur head was hit against a metal bunk, wen u were flogged, when ur provisions were taken n never returned n those days wen u felt like u were in a horror movie, COS SHE/HE WAS UR CHIEF TORMENTOR  .

you feel very uncomfortable around her/him, n she/he is nt even acting in a way dat shows he/she is sorry for the past, n as if u really need her/his consent to date ur partner. pls wat wud u do, leave d guy/girl  or wat ?

These days, wen i hear people say they hide things from there partners e.g payroll, account balance, e.t.c. i wonder why they got married in the 1st instance. I understand that sometimes, there are certain info divulged to u n shud be kept secret e.g a friend or anoda person's secret, where d keys to/password d safe in bank u work are kept, professional/clients info e.t.c
Bt hiding ur payroll or info abt ur business (success), why did u marry d person in d 1st place in u can't trust dem.

Two instances here,
i heard the story of a man who always made it seem to his wife n kids dat his business was nt bringing much (which was a big lie). He started a partnership with a friend (didnt tell his wife) n shortly b4 he was to rip d profits, he died. D friend took off, n d family had almost nottin. He was nt even given a gud burial cos dere was no moni. D wife n family suffered, n d wife even died. His kids had to really hustle to survive. Years later, his friend has a change of heart n decides to return wat he owed d family. It was sort of late cos d kids didn't really need it again. See wat d Man put his family thru cos of secrecy.

case 2;
Read dis sometym back. A wealthy man had travelled on a biz trip n he fell ill n didn't ave access 2 gud medical treatment. By d tym he was brought home, his condition was worst. He cud nt talk or do anytin. Wife n family had to source for money for surgery 4 him. He had many accounts n nobody cud access d 1s dey knew. His wife n kids jos knew dat if dey wanted anytin dey ask n get it if he was willing.
They cud nt raise enough on their own n from his business.  By d tym it occurred to dem dat dey cud call is bankers n get some money, it was too late.
He died, n it was even during his burial d wife was meeting strange pples, e.g tenants to houses she did no her hubby had. Later she got to know dat her hubby had vast investments n properties( d ones dat were documented).
Irony is dat, some years after, she decided to renovate d house n discovered a safe. In d safe dere was a huge amount of money which her hubby had marked "FOR EMERGENCY USE". The money was way more dan wat was even needed for d man's surgery n medical bill. HE MISS OUT COS OF SECRECY.

Pls any1 who is willing to give shud be allowed to, without the unwilling 1 planting doubts in their hearts. if we give, our reward is wit God n nt exactly in knowin wat was or was nt done wit whateva we have given. Also nt is small or too little to save a life.
i no lots of pples have been scammed in d past, bt let nt for such reasons neglect or help others, Life itsef is a risk, n if we ave to risk money for a life, i think it is worth it.
@ poster: pls like it as been said, if dere was away of involvin d clinic say opening a trust fund in her name or sometin i donno, maybe it wud help. N since u said she is ur Aunt, if u wud try dis, i no some skools (christian uni, some have welfare arms dat give to d society) n NGOs dat suppose charities, find out abt dem.
N i want to believe some NLanders @least no pples i top offices in d govt dat can tackle dis plight, really it is abt tym for sometin 2 b done concerning Kidney health situations in d country.

Pls our prayers for her also part of donations ooooo, I believe God is in Control who knows, if half d members of dis forum mention her in our dail prayers she wud recieve her instance healing. Amen

i ave heard a similar story b4, forgive her, n help her AS A FRIEND. Ask her wat she wants from life n wat she really wants/like to do cos it does nt seem like she wants d admission sef. N abeg free d babe, if she really loved u, she wud have @least told u even if she was hiding it from every1.
Bt omo, dat kind of on seriousness @ 27, shey she no get future ambition ni, n how long was she intending to keep lying. Omo make she go learn trade or go Dubai

Basildon1:
Better stop acting slow and get your act right. Gals that hang around schools but are not in the school only do that for one reason if my memory serves me right - She's a RUNZ gal!

These days i hear a lot of talk about lots of Nigerian girls nt being virgins, n the guys complaining nd wanting to Marry Virgin. Bt how many guys are virgins (no bi only ladies suppose dey virtuous ooo), if you didn't mess around with dis "Nigerian girls", don't you think there would be lots of virtuous ladies.
N i see some guys stating qualities (nt 1 ooo, a list in fact    ) dey want in d woman dey want to marry e.g she must be caring and sensitive, she must be virtuous, she must be dis she must be dat
Bt pls answer dis question, wud u marry u (if dere was a She U)? or wud u let ur sweet innocent/young sister or cousin whom u always want d best of d best for marry your prototype i.e a guy dat act and behaves exactly like u, same character, same way u roll (relationship wise, business wise e.t.c) ?
please sincerely answers nd responses

thanks

am new at posting in dis forum so i hope i posted this rite.
youth unemployment is nt new, only it is rising. One tin i wud say is dat pples shud stop waitin for government and jobs after skool. Our educational system is dysfunctional, graduates are turned out each year, bt many only got skooling n nt education, almost every1 as the mentality that after skool d next tin is a Job, while nt become an entrepreneur and employ others instead of goin around with ur certificate and nt getting anytin. The  point of education is to have enough knowledge, to be broadminded and to give back to society, many carry 1st class certificates bt have Third Class brains, if you don't get a job, then think of sometin tangible you can do, it may nt be easy to raise capital and other tins bt start small.
I am still an undergraduate, bt i know i wud nt be stranded cos i'm equipping mysef wit oda things, if i don't work wit my certificate i wud do oda things,
I know a couple of students who have legitimate businesses and some are even employing odas, i also Know graduates don't work in "oil companies", Banks", "multinationals" bt are self-employed and are even heading towards millions already.