copy n post....lol

CUM4WHAT:
I BLAME DIS OP NOT.... SHIIT HAPPENS WEN U SMOKING SUYA PAPER FOR THE FIRST TIME ladyboss1 sandrannna gurgle oyind17 come c una brother

y u wan disgrace me nah

Brugo:
.


Excellent. I like it.

baba thank u jare nah only u appreciate work of frictional art

Brugo:
.


Excellent. I like it.

baba thank u jare nah only appreciate work of frictional art

prettythicksme:
smh,op get fever mixed with goat shit!

I love u too.

abbey621:


Person dey call himself GABAZIN and you still dey act surprised at his wickedness......na wa 4 u ooo

see ur teeth like that of agbalumo

feldido:
Ok... Hope Malaria no de do u

this one pass malaria

gabazin080:
This is my judgment.
The pastor should be shot in the balls and the woman get 1 breast chopped off.
I RISE

which kind judge u be..nah wa o

MY SISTER IN UNDER-AGED
ME: Mr. Man, I said you should never come here to look for my sister again, how many times have I warned you, please leave NOW, to avoid any embarrassment.

HIM: Hey dude, see…we can resolve this. Look, I’ve got something for you. Have it, *stretches an envelope*, let me just speak with her.


ME: wu b dude? abi this one deh craze? (tout)No, Oga. Don’t bribe me. See, its simple, I’ve told you, you are too old to date her, I keep emphasizing this, she’s just a kid. Forget about what she’s flaunting…her front and back are just deceiving you. Haba! Put yourself in my shoes. I can’t allow this to happen, ‘tofiaqwa’. Besides she doesn’t even love you.


HIM: Of course, she loves me, and I love her. See, she’s actually more mature than you think, she thinks, talks, reasons and even acts like an adult…and I believe she is. What matters is that we love ourselves.
Please, why do you dislike me? Tell me what you don’t like about me, I’ll try to change.


ME: Hmmm! So, I’m now a liar, abi? And you know her more than I do. Okay…see, I shouldn’t be having this conversation with you, I have more important things to attend to. Just leave abeg.


HIM: I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to offend you. It’s just that, there’s something important I must tell her. Please.


ME: Ehn ehn, you’ve seen a mugu you can scope. Don’t tell her anything. Call her on phone; at least you have her number…


HIM: Errm, have you forgotten that, since the other day, I’ve not been able to reach her. The number is no longer in use I guess. I’ve tried it over a thousand times now. You said you can…k..ki..kill her if she ever speaks with me.


ME: oh! Ehn, I forgot, yes o. and I mean it. She dare not try to call you. I know she has crammed your number.


HIM: *feeling very disappointed and sober* okay, just one favor you could do for me and her…our life and future depends on it. Please tell her I said she should please keep it, no matter how hard it may be. Tell her I said she must not destroy it. She’ll understand. Thank you. *walking away*


ME: *processing the statement* “keep it, she must not destroy it, keep it…keep what? She must not destroy what?”
Eh! Oga wait, what do you mean?


HIM: Please, just tell her that…


ME: *quickly runs inside to check my sister. Finds her peeping through the window*
What is that rubbish this guy is saying? Follow me, NOW. Oya, explain yourselves now, I deserve an explanation.


HER: *walks up to him, gives him a hug* what’s happening?


HIM: It’s all good. *kneeling down, with a still face*

ME: What apologies do you have? You better speak out now.


HIM: *nervous* Hey dear, I’m sorry.


HER: *confused* Sorry, sorry about what?


HIM: *bringing out something from his suit pocket* I’m sorry it took me this long to ask, will you marry me, please?


ME: *eyes rolling, blood pressure increasing, anger burning like a raging inferno*
What? No! *wakes up from sleep*
Ah..ah… ah!



phlio

Precious91:
Op,is that an electric pole?

this one tall pass out pole

ladies can u date this guy?

how do deh book flight? nah bus I sabi

This blessed me immensely. Read patiently and share with your friends
It was their anniversary, and Gloria was waiting for her husband John to show up.
Things had changed since their marriage. The once couldn't-live-without-each-other cute couple had turned bitter fighting over every little thing. Both didn't like the way things had changed.
Gloria was waiting to see if John remembered it was their anniversary!
Just as the doorbell rang, she ran to find her husband wet and smiling with a bunch of flowers in his hand.
The two started re-living the old days. It was raining! It was a perfect timing.
But the romantic moment was paused when the phone in the bedroom rang.
Gloria went to pick the phone up and it was a man who spoke. "Hello ma'am I'm calling from the police station. Is this Mr. John Mark’s number?"
"Yes it is!"
"I'm sorry ma'am; but there was an accident and a man died. We got this number from his wallet, and we need you to come and identify his body."
Gloria’s heart sank! She was shocked!
"But my husband is here with me" Gloria said.
"Sorry ma'am, but the incident took place at 2 pm, when he was boarding the train."
Gloria was about to lose her mind.
How could this happen?! She had heard fables about the soul of a person coming to meet a loved one before it finally leaves for eternity! “But this is a fable and it’s not real” she thought. She ran into the other room. He was not there. It was true! John had left her for good!!!
Oh God! She would have died for another chance to mend every little fight! She rolled on the floor in pain. She had lost her chance! Forever!
Suddenly, there was a noise from the bathroom. The door opened and John came out and said to Gloria, "Darling, I forgot to tell you my wallet got stolen today". What a relief that was for Gloria. It was a great lesson learnt. Of course, you should know how the story ended here.
Life might not give you a second chance. Please never waste a moment when you can still make up for your wrongs. Let's start making amends with parents, siblings, friends, and many others whom we have offended, or who may have offended us or the one that have put tears in our eyes…No one has a promised tomorrow.
Yes! You have been terribly hurt and maybe by someone you hold so dearly. Allow God to heal your heart. Life is short. Forgive quickly. I am not saying you are not pained by what had happened but is that thing worth taking heaven from you? The weak can never forgive, forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. Forgiveness brings healing and when you let go, it takes off a burden from your life. Don’t let something that is long gone continue to control you, it’s time to let it go. Forgiveness does not excuse the behavior of who hurts you but it helps to prevent their behavior from destroying your heart. Take time also to appreciate people. Don’t wait till their funeral to say the good stuffs about them. Think about it!

wetin deh inside........

Proverb 25:28 says...
Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man without self control.....flee let d back of ur leg touch ur head

pastor says testimony time after giving adequate warning 'pls go straight to the point tell us what God has done for you' giving two minute, if u talk don't sing if u sing don't talk.oya follow me.

1 The special number
these are the people that start with singing and repeating the song.they don't get tired of the song...the spend 10min singing ten more minute saying what God has done and 5 minute singing a special number to their seat.( people like this deh vex me pass so paramount to old women)

2 the beggers
these people will come over to the alter and practically beg the pastor to give them more tym cos their testimony is longer than tape rule...with that church members go know say deh done buy market.

3.The boasters
I always pray not come to be in church with these set of people....the climb the alter sluggishly,clear throat four tyms then start with the last business transaction in Abuja down to enugu from enugu to the new car they parked outside and how junior was sick of cold had to spend 150k at the hospital .....these kind people they make church members like me to begin wonder why God go bless some people leave some of us behind.


4.The spiritual bro/ sis
these set of people are comedians they climb the stage to praise the pastor telling us how pastor prayed for them and instancly they became healed...they keep saying pastor I love you sir God will bless your ministry...nah prayer dem come pray for pastor after that you understand wetin dem go do next nah......deh start their sermon.


5 nah we
we weh no get testimony but we deh shout halaluyah...or we no get mind to enter stage hold mic we deh pray for our mind make the thing end sharp sharp .....




add your own a beg......share your own experience.



philo

lalasticlala abeg help us move am make we laugh small

I deh pity d guy

tym to do away with mine

kindly go and dance or kiss ur study

I don't understand wetin u write up dia....

lwkmd die oooo just take lot of water ......by midnight go poo

hissss

Luedave:
try introduce d dude or his gf to helping hands. Atleast wen they begin to track prospects day/night, there wudnt b tym 4 unnecesary intimacy. And cash wud b rolling 4 them both

good idea bro.will work on him

he must be a fool

exlink10:
carry one of your home theatre speaker and put on his window or door and finish the volume on him

hmmmm you really make sense....thank u

Preboy:

dude if you didn't intend to make a tribal remark, then just edit your first post and change the topic to "My Neighbour"



how hard could it be?

let leave it the way it is....

chowlade:

very funny

lol......the gal lack understanding

Justeenaleo:
Brother in the lord stop humiliating yourself.

I love u too

barrnchedo:
tribalistic ewu! Let the noise continue. Iseeeeee! Anu mpamu!

hahahahahah....if am ewu u must be okuko hahahahha

Mcowubaba:

Oga i don't knw ur intent...but saying 'Igbo Neighbour' is totally silly nd useless...there was absolutely no need 4 dat!!!...u may have meant no harm, but as i said- i don't knw ur Intent....but incase of nxt time, dnt associate or link a tribe directly or indirectly to this type of topic...
For eg..A 49 yrs old man defiles a 17 yrs old girl NOT -A 49 yrs old IGBO man
hope u get!!!! Peace!!!

okay sir.

softysparky:

Hehehe Maybe na because of too much akpu.

hahahahahhahah.....the thin pass akpu

Luedave:
wetin are u d only igbo in naija? ... Phlio just put on ur ear muff anytime he starts. Dnt mind that tribe, craze dey their blood.

abi oh....thank u my fellow helping hand mate