₦airaland Forum

fitinwell:
[size=28pt]I can tell... You're the edible catering she mentioned.. That destroyed tiwa Savage home.. From your typed response... Next time.. Talk to d fingers[/size]

Awwww...

So much hate and jealousy oozing out from you. You need Jesus.

fitinwell:
[size=28pt]Lady slow down on that weed you inhale.. because u have not pass any message. Buds of same feather [/size]

Excuse me, it is 'birds' not 'buds', 'inhaled' not 'inhale' 'passed' not 'pass'

Apparently the one smoking weed is correcting the tenses of the clear headed one. Big ups for my weed.

Oh, and by the way, weed is not inhaled.

*takes a long drag of my weed*

fitinwell:
[size=28pt]Tiwa Savage shud be ashamed of herself.. What product dos she have left to sell to the younger generation.. Why won't the devil still her marriage.. When all she dos is to dress.. Seductively... Now she is putting on torn trousers at maybe 34yrs old.. Its true many people marry for the wrong reasons.. Dis lady Gaga.. Is'nt wifey or home material.. [/size]

You are not and would never be in her shoes. Before you judge someone, wear his/her shoes and walk a mile in those shoes. Charley Boy too dey dress hin own kain dress. Devil never steal hin marriage. Abi devil no dey see that one? Or maybe he is selling a beautiful product to the younger generation. Or wait...sorry, he is a man of course....lol

johnbull368:
Ashewo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! u go Bleep forte oil,u say na Ambassador u be.Money is not everything,Good moral is utmost.U go ambassador till wrinkles show for your face, see your belle don dey rise. u go soon dey outdated.

I read pure jealousy and envy boldly, clearly and visibly hidden between your words.

Emimoney:
am just tired, u know as an introvert, i spent most of time alone, people are not happy about it, they just want me to make friends and enjoy why am not like that, i make friends that i feel will accept me the way i am, i went out this evening to buy groundnut from the shop i don't usually go to i said "lemme go here sef, wetin dey here? I kuku enter, as a stammerer, i stammerer and struggle to greet them, i saw someone laughing, i was like maybe some else was amusing him, i asked them for groundnut, they said it has finished, i saw two bucket of groundnut there, em pain me, i didn't talk to avoid someone laughing, someone hissed as i was leaving their shop, i went to the next shop, greeted the woman no reply, she was attending to someone, i bone, then she asked what do want? I said groundnut, she brought it out, ask me how much i said N100, She kuku give me the groundnut, i gave her N100 i waited for the waterproof to cover the groundnut she said, u don't have a change, (meaning she thinks am stupid i said where the waterproof naa) she said ohhhh "waterproof", she brought out waterproof and gave it to me i walked away, i was hurt and felt like crying, when i was coming home, why do people think about us that way, introverts are not stupid, they just like staying alone mostly, am just sad
NB: please ignore my typos

You need to work on your self confidence. Shut out any negative comments or sidetalks directed towards you. I have a brother who stammers but you will never know he is a stammerer if you meet him. He speaks slowly and does not waste words. He is also not one to engage in idle chats. Try practicing counting your words. Once you perfect it, you will feel much better. You can challenge yourself by joining groups where you will be forced to face the crowd and give speeches, then let the other group members give you feedback on how you performed. (Google 'toastmasters') This can really help you.

Remember, you are special, you are unique, you are great. No one has the power to make you feel any less than who you are unless you let that person. Learn to love yourself and see others follow suit.

PresVA:
Hmmmm, this one is strong oo.. so we still have men who want FULL housewives

Nne, you both have to reach a compromise, can never advise you stay at home PERMANENTLY.. . NEVER!
You can convince him that what you'll do wouldn't be detrimental to the family; you can find something flexible to do.. Promise him that, if the career comes in the way of your family, you're willing to stop...
Just find a way to convince him... you really need to be adding value to yourself no matter how little. ..

But seriously, this is something you both would have discussed before marriage. .. Nothing like marrying someone you've same values with. ..

All the best..

Sometimes you find out that it may have bee actually discussed before marriage and the man agreed to support his wife to attain any level she wants in her career, only to start singing another song after marriage.

Congrats Op. He is indeed a great God.

[quote author=BoiledHead post=45217684][/quote]If your mother is not one of those models posing unclad after childbirth, the you have no reason whatsoever to post this trash.

suyamasta:
N493,126 monthly salary
Wowwww

I believe this job is for people with British citizenship. You will be required to upload a copy of your British passport during application.

[quote author=victorazy post=44347839]What God has join.....
Mariage is for better and for worse.
She can do more than Jesus just that I don't think her kneels are working and if yes, then the rest was her fault. She should check her character, remember we're dealling with one party here, we didn't hear from the man


I also think it is wrong for you to assume it is her fault if as you say, you have only heard one side of the story.

victorazy:
Yes because madness can be cured, afterall Jesus set one free at the sea shore.

I am sure the poster is not Jesus, neither does she have the power to cure madness but finally it is her choice to make the decision. I cannot ask her to live with a mad man and pray for him knowing fully well that many women have lost their lives in the same situation. I read a story of a man, a pastor, who murdered his wife in cold blood after he had warned her severalĺy, for years to get out of his life. Alot of people, including her own children, pleaded with her to listen to him but she refused saying that God was using the situation to test her faith.
I am pretty sure that the '...till death do us part' part of the exchange of vows did not include murder.
Anyway, each to his own.

victorazy:
Two should not be mad at the same time. The man is already a mad man and the woman supposed know what to do because he is stil the same man o! This is the time to test her faith in God.l

In other words you are advising her to live in the same house with a mad man?

victorazy:
Only sturbon ppl think this way.
Virtuous women build their homes.

Advice her to always apply wisdon in her word rather than using them carelessly.
Secondly, let her be making use of her kneels for God cuz it seems she doesn't pray.

When a man makes up his mind that he doesn't want a woman anymore, nothing the woman does or says will be appreciated. Even if she decides to do everything the man wants without saying a word, he will still find faults in her. She can apply all the wisdom of King Solomon yet the truth remains that he is not interested. Even if she kills herself for him, he will wonder why she didn't kill herself earlier than the moment she did it. Virtuous women build their homes-agreed. Men love their wives as Christ loves His church. Also, it is not only a woman who builds the home. The two parties involved help each other to build their home. How can this lady build a home with a man who wants to divorce her against the pleas of everybody involved? Can she force herself on man who doesn't want her? Is that possible?

eyinjuege:
What does she do that makes her appear bossy?

The things she wants done that are not conveinent for you right now, what are they? When will they be convenient?

Life isn't that complicated, and oftentimes people disagree to agree.

Understand that your wife is an individual, who has her own thought process. You both don't have to think alike.

Have a round table discussion, listen to her reasons for wanting those things there and then, and listen objectively and be unbiased cos it seems you already feel its because she earns more.
Then tell her your own reasons why such can't happen yet. If its because of finances on your own part, and she says she'll drop money to do it, you shouldn't feel bad. Allow her, provided they are laudable things.

You are both supposed to help each other, so no big deal.

In this present economy, both man and wife have to put hands together to meet their basic daily needs else the man will just kaput or even run away when he gets overwhelmed.
Goodluck sha.

Good points here. The key to this is listening. Both parties should not just hear each other but listen to each other. Men and women hardly think alike. Once we begin to understand that and appreciate this difference, then things will become easier.

MrSly:
parents who cannot train their children as a married couple cannot train them as a single parent.

Alot if things into training a child. A person who is emotionally, psychologically, and mentally unstable cannot bring up a child. A child is best kept away from a parent who maltreats the other parent constantly in front of that child. If the child has a 10% chance of developing well away from that abusive parent, I would say, go for that 10%. A parent can actually do a better job bringing up a child alone than doing it with the other parent.

troy20:
More keen on the statement that if half of the men had been raised by single mothers away from abusive fathers there would be better marriages.now how the hell is that ever true

Have you heard of men who became wife beaters because they grew you seeing their father constantly beat up their mothers only for their mothers to stay and build a stable home for them? Have you heard of spouses who murdered their spouses in front of their children? Have you heard of women who verbally abuse their husbands in front of their children and the female children growing up to also do the same to their husbands accepting such situations as normal?

Do you think these children would not have grown to become better people if they had been removed from such environment on time? I know of many examples of kids that grew up with a single parent and they are not ruined. They are even more stable than the so called children who grew up with fathers and mothers intact.

SexyStrawberry:
i still buy ur idea, u have a very strong point though, nevertheless both situations aren't cool at all and as for confiding in people, i still have my doubts about it, maybe coz I've been meeting the wrong people, i even gave it another shot with someone i met here but it turned out to be a disaster, so maybe it's just fate.

You can confide in your family priest or pastor. If you are a catholic, you can see a priest in the confessional. It is private and they are bound by oath not to reveal whatever you tell them in the confessional. These people have seen enough family issues and can counsel the two of you, if your husband will agree to such. But if any counseling has to be done, the two of you must sit down with the priest/pastor and be open minded and willing to resolve the issues and let go of the past, to move forward to a brighter future. Marriage is a union of two best forgivers. It is not easy and most people who have been in it for years can tell you that it is not beans oh. The most important thing is to resolve to love, respect each other stay together no matter what. With true love, comes the willingness to tolerate, forgive and respect each other.

Arsenate:
yeah, pretty cool and easy for you to just sit there and say divorce is a better option because you grew up with both your parents. Asked the kids who grew up in a broken home and they will tell you it's not such a pleasant experience.
Adults should fuucccking work out their differences. Divorce is shiiiiit.

And my dear divorce is shit yes, I agree. But do you know what is worse? Bringing up messed up kids and probably dying in the process only to have another woman come in and maltreat your kids. There are men out there who are not in talking terms with their children because of what they did to their mother which the kids witnessed when they were growing up. Those people stayed together and did not divorce but children suffered and are still suffering the consequence. Believe me, it is not easy for me to sit there and say so, you really don't know me just as I don't know you.

Arsenate:
yeah, pretty cool and easy for you to just sit there and say divorce is a better option because you grew up with both your parents. Asked the kids who grew up in a broken home and they will tell you it's not such a pleasant experience.
Adults should fuucccking work out their differences. Divorce is shiiiiit.

Excuse me dear. You don't know me from Adam. How can you be so sure I grew up with both of my parents? Did you grow up in a home where your father was constantly degrading your mother? Ask people who have been in that situation and compaRe. Issues are only sorted out when both parties want to. It is not right for a woman to be constantly begging her husband to marry her. Is he doing her a favour? You can never beg anybody to marry you that is reality! If his heart is somewhere else, then let him go.You can beg someone to forgive you if you have wronged him but if he chooses not to forgive, you cannot beg him to love you. True love should not be begged for. How long will you keep begging? For the rest of your life?

Yuneehk:
Alot of factors are put into consideration before such a question can be answered like the kind of soup, the type of animal protein you'd love to use, the number of people to consume it, your location too matters

Even the number of meat/fish you like to eat per meal. Some men will get annoyed when you give them one piece of meat but bring money nah, they will give you 1000....lol

Location is key too. 100 Naira okra for a pot of soup in Enugu may be enough but not for same pot of soup for someone in Port Harcourt.

[quote author=marshalcarter post=44206135]Okra #100
Grinded pepper #20
Ugu #50
Maggi nd salt 20+50
Red oil #50
Fish#200
Meat#300


Total-790

Den 1paint of garri #300


All 1090.....maybe buy #10 chingum so dat while cookin..you go dey whine mouth [/quote
Onions, Crayfish, dry fish, stock fish no dey this one oh. Beta soup na beta money make am...lol

Allwility:
OP there are lots of high flying women out there that are financially independent, top of their careers, Holy Ghost filled and tongue blasting (if you know what I mean). Yet some men will feel intimidated and not see them as equals. Some men are just full of themselves and need someone they can lord over to fan their egos.

Yes God created women as helpmates, that I agree. He didn't create them 'inferior' to their male counterparts.

Infact, that is why some men make their wives resign from their job so they can subdue them. They feel that if she is financially independent, they would not be able to control her as much as they want to. Some will even ask the women to be paying all their salary into their(the men's) bank accounts and even quote bible sef to support their demands. One thing I have learned in this life is that even a man who commits murder can find a bible quote which he can easily twist, to support and justify his actions.

MRBrownJ:
what kind of nonsense is the above in bold? there will always be disagreements in any union and whats important is to be UNDERSTANDING and try to resolve the issue in a MATURE and RESPECTFUL manner, but certainly not to be quiet and accept whatever BS is thrown at you.

Plus relationships are all about love and compromise from both parties. The stress is on 'both'

One person cannot be expected to love and compromise all the time because it is 'her role as a woman'. Then when she decides to stamp her foot down and insist on being heard for once she will be accused of 'misreaction', 'misconduct' 'not positioning herself as woman' 'trying to rub shoulders and drag places with her man' 'disrespectful and provocative'

lynx200:
Hmmm, Typical feminist! Read the article well. It addresses emotional and psychological abuse which is even more deadly than physical violence and which some women do very well. If you want gender equality as you feminists always cry out, what is good for the goose should be good for the gander. Of course I dont support a man hitting a woman but abusing anybody no matter the sex is wrong, Period!

I totally agree with you on emotional and psychological abuse being more deadly than physical violence. But until we begin to understand this better in our society there is nothing much that can be done for the men. Why do I say this? When a man constantly abuses his wife verbally calling her all sorts of names and even packing her stuffs sometimes to throw her out, abusing her family and everything she stands for and meting out sexual double standards on her. If she complains, what she would meet is 'at least he doesn't beat you' ' you are lucky he does not cheat on you' 'be patient, go on your knees and pray for him, he will change' 'Ah! Don't tell another person this story if you want your marriage to work.' and then the classic 'Do everything his heart desires and you will see that he will forget all those things he is telling you'...lol. Now this is how the society handles the situation and the woman keeps absorbing and keeping quiet. Very soon she develops one silent killer disease(like heart problem) and dies off quietly, nobody knows what happened.

So please tell me how I am supposed to be an advocate to stop such treatment on men when we as women, have been tolerating emotional and psychological abuse since 19kporodom and infact, still tolerating , even expected to keep tolerating? Haba! Infact, it is the norm in the society. Seriously tell me @lynx200, If a female friend tells you she separated from her husband because of psychological and emotional abuse will you take her seriously. Especially when you don look her finish you no see any visible scar from any beating wey dey her body. You will probably dismiss it and say she is not serious in her marriage.

SexyStrawberry:
Divorce is no joke especially if there's a child involved, it ruins the child's life, still plead and see if he'll change, this should teach u a very big lesson never to confide in anyone no matter who he/she is to u, though I'm not married, I've learned mine in a hard way as well and I'm still repenting for it.

Sometimes you really need to confide in someone. There is no need to die in silence for something that could've easily been resolved if you had opened up. Any way, I can assure you that divorce does not ruin a child's life in all cases. In fact, if half of the men we have in our societies were brought up by single mothers, away from abusive fathers and surrounded by love and care, then we would have better individuals/marriages today.

Yes, divorce is tough, but it is always a better option especially when children are involved. A child's mental and psychological state can be greatly affected if s(he) is growing in an environment where s(he) constantly witnesses different forms of abuse and degradation on one parent by the other. Some men you see today who beat up their wives, abuse them verbally, financially, sexually and even cheat on them, grew up in an environment where such acts were tolerated so they don't even see anything wrong if they do the same to their wives in their own marriages. There is no way you can try to explain to man who thinks that a woman is beneath him and she should obey every word he says because her sole existence is to please him, that this notion is wrong especially if he grew up in a home where he was constantly seeing his father treat his mother with such notion and she was there tolerating it so that divorce would not ruin her child. Hello! The child is already ruined by being exposed and allowed to grow with that mentality.