₦airaland Forum

I don't think marriage has anything to do with where a person live or where he or she was born. I think it has more to do with mutual feelings, character, beliefs and values. Am I missing something here?

You find out by smiling sweettly at him when he least expects and watching his reaction. If he looks embarassed and looks away, he is shy and already very much into u. If he smiles back and comes over, he has been waiting for the opportunity. If he smiles back and doesn't come over, he is polite but doesn't give a damn about you. If he doesn't notice the smile at all, then he has not been notified of your existence. On the other hand, you might just wait for him to act like he likes you.

Mide2, You might be right. I really think a woman who is able to have her life without me will be more fun. Maybe that's who you call an independent woman. The ones I've been with were fun. The experience was sweet while it lasted and the breakup wasn't my making. I guess I just needed to get my priorities right. I'm taking a break from relationships till I'm done arranging my priorities. Thanks Mide2 and Otokx for your contributions.

I really feel your pain KingHenry. However, in matters like this, I think the best advise is ultimately the one you come up with by yourself. You're the one that is going to live with your actions or in actions.

I must say that I'm quite impressed by all the advice you got on this forum. Chunks of good advice. If I were in your shoe, and I love the lady like you say you love her, I'll sit her down and let her know how I feel. Then, together we will workout a program on how she can improve. You need to get your priorities right. Do you need a degree holder or a wife who can speak good English or just a good wife? Sending someone who has not learned the basic to a higher institution, to me, is most unfair. Like CimonJorr said, more practical improvement program will produce result. Afterall, she is not an slowpoke.

I must say that lovable marriage material girls are as scarce as diamonds. If you get one, keep her. Diamonds do get flaws sometimes too. I don't know if somebody heard the spoken English of Temitope Josua a year ago. Has anybody heard his spoken English recently? My advice is that if you get a girl you can love and who loves you back, don't lose her for anything. Not even for the sake of good spoken English. The best decision to me, is still the one you come up with unaided. You'll surely live withe the consequence (good or bad). Please be wise.

I think.

What's the point in getting married if at a point in the dating, you feel like four walls closing in on you? You can't thinking of marriage under that kind of situation. The few times I've really been in relationships when I really thought of settling down, those were with partners who don't want to be held down just yet. I guess if the "one" refuse to surface, bachelor for life isn't such a bad idea. I think the party can continue.

Can you marry a lady or a guy who already has a kid?

You're single, never married. You've almost given up on falling in love. Out of the blues, you meet this great dude/babe. Everything checks out. He/she has everything u've ever wanted in a partner. There is great mutual affection (or it appears to be).

One day your partner told you that there is something you have to know. He/she has a kid. He/she loves the kid so much. If you want him/her, you have to also want the kid. You want this person. You're concerned about the kid. What will you do?

I think he can actually start a business with N4K (providedhe wont finish it on food first). It all depends on his skill set and hobbies. He needs to take an inventory of what his skill sets and what he has. A campus enviroment even makes it easier as u dont pay some cost (shops, power bills, etc) associated with the real world.

As an example, for someone who has a pc with a cd burner, with free internet connection, you can download assorted software, games, utilities, tutorials, etc and burn in cd then sell to other students. Advert wont cost u anything as all u need is just scripbled adverts pasted strategically (I did that when I what in skool, each cd cost about 100 and I sold each for 400).

He might not have a system. he might have a phone or just know some people. Even knowing people who trusted you can be potentially turned into money. Like someone was talking about provision or foodstuff. He necessarily might not have to pay for it upfront. He can collect on credit from somebody who knows him and pay later (under a mutually agreed term). Everythng depends on his personality and about if he is not shy about selling.

I believe that human beigns are created as little gods who can accomplish anything he sets to achieve. In my undergraduate days, one of my friend started with two computers (one owned by him and the other borrowed) went from lecture room to lecture room advertising computer training (normal word processing), business was good and he got more computers employing other students as lecturers, typists, desktop publishers all in an hostel (he wasn't paying power bill nor any goverment rate). When we were leaving school (a session after, he had 5 computers, 2 printers, one scanner, 3 upses) in addition to the fact that he was sending money home second semester .

The point I'm trying to make is that, 4k is small for a commodity business xcept for the very meanial ones like selling purewater. Heshuld have akey skill if he thinks hard enough. To emphasise my point I recall a story.

When I finished freshly from university, I was scandalised by sitting at home and being fed like some slowpoke. I went out in search of Computer Hardware jobs. They kept asking me for my certificate. I didn't have one cause the university senatewas yet to sit. After futile searches, I had to sit down to change my strategies. I did an inventory of my skill set. I was surprised that I was good with system/web development (I wasn't aware until this time cause it was just a hobby). I didn't even have money for transportation. So I started with a proposal, going from computer schools within trekking distance that where not doing any web/system development program. My proposal was simple. The computer school advertise and I take the course and use their facility. I take 40% percent of the tuition paid. The first person I approached didn't take my proposal but someone did at the end of the day. The start was slow but it was worthwhile and I regreted that I had to leave everything and go for NYSC.

I'm not a big fan of soap operas. I just happen on this one by accident one day. Ever since, I've been making great efforts to make sure I get home early enough to watch it on AIT. I missed the last two episodes because AIT was showing champions league (not a fan either ) and I didn't know they show it after the the matches. I stopped on the episode where Deigo's sister revealed the truth to him. Can anybody fill me in? Thank you.

Thanks a bunch Ijebuman.

Thank you Kenflavour! I dont know why all these women folk are feeling sorry for me. I guess I'll just take Seun's advise. It seems to be the most reasonable one I've got. Thank you Seun. Are u a shrink?

While Seun and Tiwa might have valid points, I dont think I enter relationships looking for sex. It happens alright. I'll really like to commit. I just have a problem doing that. I just dont seem to be able to stay in a relationship for long.

My closest friends are female. I'm the guy on who advises them on how to win their guy when he is bent on getting away. When a male perspective is needed, they run to me. The typical bobo nice. However, I seem to have one problem maintaining a steady relationship. I enter with all the good intentions. However, everytime, after a short while, especially when the lady starts playing wife, I get tired and want to do only one thing. Get out. These are relationships with women I initially thought are my ideal women. I especially get pissed when the woman start being too submissive. My last serious GF called me to tell me she's getting married. Then I started thinking. She's a gem though not perfect. I dont see myself as a player and never intend to be. However, I think I've been in too many relationships. Way too much for comfort. Is it something to do with me or something to do with them or just one of those things?