The news about bloodshed was becoming unbecoming so I decided to spice up your day. Remember the lie sb told you but you later discovered the truth.

Share your experiences.


Mine:

1. Hanty say she doesn't like fufu.. “I feel nauseated by the smell. I can't hold it, I'll throw up.”

Visited her fam house...they were on Ofe Nchawu with achara. I didn't know at the mention of her name at home, all the fufu dobales.

2. Caught the most holy “virgin” church girl in my street back home in our barrack! Funny thing was I met her and told her I was travelling to school. She also told me she was going for a church program in another state.

My room was Block C. She tie wrapper come out Block D.

E choke.

3. Date....


What's your name?


Cloe Davis


(Saved digits, Truecaller tagged her “Bolanle Ogunjobi”)


Fish will swallow you, Bolanle.


4. My neighbour was always claiming sojo. I bin feel say na Cadet as per en papa hold small bar, and e bi like the oga go get connection.

We happen to meet at one party like that...he was all the way in the jacuzzi (all military underwear camouflage).

One flat chest go rebel am.

Wetin I hear na “come out, reason me your indian delta.”

Oga begin beg o.

Beg! I laugh die.


Dem tell am to off am. Bros beg dem no gree. Dem woos am better slaps.

E come dey go house enter bike. Wetin I hear amid tears na “no worry, I swear I will hunt you. My dad is a police. My uncle is the head of Sarz.”

I laughed die.

5. My neighbour girlfriend always lying to me her dad was a GM of FirstBank.

The problem was... I didn't even mind if she was rich or poor; I just liked her.

I was staying with my rich uncles she felt were my parents. She always didn't believe me when I said they weren't. She always thought I was hiding sth.

Two years down the line, I realized her dad was a gateman.

WTF was he doing with a briefcase going to work in suit!

6. Babe bi forming British accent for me.

She alleged to have stayed in Birmingham. Toh, I no even like the girl sha. She was too loud.

She bin yarn me say my job is too poor for her liking.

Mehn.


One day she say she dey go back London say her dad wants her back.


Many months later when I was returning from Maiduguri, we stopped at Enugu and was welcomed by the loud off-key poems of their “buy okpa” poets.

Reluctantly, I raised my head up from my phone to the rear.

Omg, is this not Theresa?

I came down. Called out to her, she took off. I pursue am hold am. She almost wanted the ground to swallow her.

Mehn.

7. One guy in my school was claiming he was an Ex-Boy (ex-student of Nigeria Military School). He would lie all sorts of things like how he is still being paid salary now, and how his father was a Brigadier General.

He was an Igbo guy. He was showing us the photo of his self-acclaimed father one day. I noticed it was zoomed. I collected the phone and zoomed out. Lo and behold, a muslim name was on the tag of the soldier.

Baba had to re-arrange his lie and said his father didn't use his real name to join the military.

E chock o.


All our attempts to make this guy accept he lied was in vain until one exboy who is now a Lieutenant (a lecturer) publicly asked the guy who is father was (chawossing) and what year he passed out from NMS. The soldier obviously got tired of the frequent lies.

Oga begin bite tongue. He literally pee-d. He was disgraced openly later by the man. His father was a Custom Officer. Mehn.

I was like why this guy come dey lie. Abi e no know say I value Custom Officers pass green cap?

8. A guy I respected who lied he was 40 to me.


His body sold his lie. He looked maturer.


I dey respect this guy maka the age barrier. I didn't know what I was searching and saw his original birth certificate with 22years of age on it.

Darkness befell me. I staggered and my arms found a wedge.

I felt betrayed.


I dey call am Oga Martin.

E come inside, I was like “Martin, God go punish you.”

E wan claim activity and all that.

I open en yansh.


My guy laughed me. That was when I truly began to see the underage in him; he was laughing but I was starring at him in disgust!

After two years! Baba even tell me he is divorced with a grown-up daughter in Jakarta who he'd like me to meet.

Mehn, na so my in-lawship died.

And I bin dey give the pastard enough respect.

It hurted more knowing that he was still the same person behind the beautiful girl pics!

Come share yours

that buhari will turn 1naira to 1dollar...

1. ONE NIGERIA

2. ONE NATION BOUND WITH FREEDOM, PEACE AND UNITY

Lol... Are u a comedian or what?

tosik:
that buhari will turn 1naira to 1dollar...

Smiles.


He said he will “change” it.

You guys felt he meant changing it down.

chinchonglee:
Lol... Are u a comedian or what?

Lol. Share yours o. You wan support me? I'm interested o.

ictjobber:
ONE NIGERIA

Hope you didn't believe that shit?

My dad first born has always been lying to my dad that he's abroad for over 15 years, meanwhile big bro Don open church for akure.

We were invited to a church program at odogbolu ogun state, big bro church was also invited, infact he was a guest speaker for the program.

We were shocked when we saw big bro doing anointing and speaking in tongues.

Dad was so shocked and heartbroken.

Dad has always been using big bro achievement to brag among is friends and members that his son is abroad.

Big bro later apologized and gave and excuse that he was deported some years back and didn't wanna let dad know.

He finally traveled though 2 years later. But dad wouldn't believe him whenever he calls, unless he does video calls and show him oyinbo people..

that osinbajo will take over once buhari die ...

When she said I love you for who you are.

Slimslimqq:
My dad first born has always been lying to my dad that he's abroad for over 15 years, meanwhile big bro Don open church for akure.

We were invited to a church program at odogbolu ogun state, big bro church was also invited, infact he was a guest speaker for the program.

We were shocked when we saw big bro doing anointing and speaking in tongues.

Dad was so shocked and heartbroken.

Dad has always been using big bro achievement to brag among is friends and members that his son is abroad.

Big bro later apologized and gave and excuse that he was deported some years back and didn't wanna let dad know.

He finally traveled though 2 years later. But dad wouldn't believe him whenever he calls, unless he does video calls and show him oyinbo people..

Wow. Big bro shouldn't have lied.


Papa self for no brag yet till en come back well.

Blackfire:
that osinbajo will take over once buhari die ...

Lol

Truthabulabula:
I love you for who you are.

..
.
Lol

Funny thread.
Can't stop laughing.

Just reading op's stories.

Heyy,

Good Evening, trust you had a great day?
Whenever you see this: just know you can get 10% off on all your orders from jumia when you use this code: APSTYLER.

you're welcome

Police is your friend. (for where)
Bail is free (if I tear u slap eeh)
Children are leaders of tomorrow.. (story, the comitioner for education when I was in primary 5 who told us This, is the local government chairman of my LG)
Education guaranty success, (not in naija)
Indian scored 99 Nigeria scored 1 in a football match ...the lie there told us when we were young.... That match never happened. Even up to date I don't think indians play football.
NEXT LEVEL.... Lori iro.

The 1999 Constitution.....

[img]https://media1./images/2cd347b1c1c92d007d775b9303478f09/tenor.gif?itemid=15746499[/img]

That a man claimed to be God.

I asked a man if he was married ( he was asking me out) he said no. I asked him if he smokes, he said nope.

So he invited me over to his place. His kitchen looked so well arranged and stocked up for a bachelor. I just kept observing things.

So when he went into one of the rooms, I looked and saw a big photo album hidden under the table. I brought it out, LO and behold, I saw from his traditional marriage to white wedding pics. My heart began to pant. I heard him coming and quickly tucked it back under the table. He looked at me strangely and called out. Beke!!! ... I just smiled.

Then he entered another room and was ironing. When he left, I quickly peeked and saw a mobile rack with female clothings. He moved the rack out of their room to that place so any girl that comes will not see any female clothes in his room. Mehnn... This time he caught me peeking, didn't say anything but the way he eyed me? I felt like disappearing.

He went into his room and as he was coming out this time, he had a cigarette in his mouth. And I asked, I tot you said you don't smoke? He replied. Now you know. Huh?

I couldn't even mention the marriage part let him not strangle me. Immediately He dropped me off. I blocked him on Facebook and blacklisted his number.

Very big fat lie!

When visitors gave me money and mom says she'd "keep it for me"

Me 35 years later: mom when wee you give me my money? When? Wheeen?

N

The greatest lie was that Buhari is the Messaiah that will save Nigeria. I am happy that Buhari ruled us and he turned out to be the worst thing that happened to Nigeria, if not his supporters would still be saying that Nigeria would have been better with Buhari.

The Story of heaven and hell fire

1914

My ex

interesting.

Meanwhile get a quick and affordable loan with no collateral requirements. Check my signature.

tortise the wise man

Ok

The biggest lied I have ever heard was that Nigeria will become great again.. I later found out that it is not possible.

When APC promised Nigeria's Heaven on Earth but we later understand they meant the opposite. It won't be better for Buhari and his cohorts.