₦airaland Forum

IkengaRussell:
I was born into a Jehovah's Witness family..They sold a lot of horseshit to us.But the one wey hirt me pass,was that i actually believed that only 144,000 witnesses would go to heaven.The rest of the righteous witnesses would inherit the earth(it would have turned to a paradise then)and that there would be no sickness,death or pain any more..Then all unrighteous people(wordlys in their terms)will be destroyed in the battle of Armaggedon and the devil will be cast into the abyss for 1000 years...What a load of bullshit!!!E dey pain me because i spent the best part of the 1st 20 years of my life believing it fiercely and i went around my area with a huge bag full of books and magazines trying to convince people about the "TRUTH"..Mehn!!person don mumu kwanu oo..One of these days, i'll take a stroll to there their new world headquaters in Warwick,New York and leave a few IEDs...Yes,thats how much i hate them!!!!

Lmaooo but had to ask, do you still believe in God or have you become agnostic or atheist ?

My friend told me they had a swimming pool wey back in primary school.... Visited the guy to swim on one Saturday.... The guy told me armed robbers stole the swimming pool... Chdiebere, hope you don find una stolen pool now

Bukasint:
ciga loading

Lol! You will be shocked.

APC Change.

Ugandatales:
Lol! You will be shocked.

abegi

That buhari is 76 while his younger sister is 83

Santa Claus, Religion, Jesus, Alah.

Baba we have been there before... all na still lie.. I have beena vendor... worst scenariocustomerstillpay for the 10%...

Please don't bring this on here... scam... market strategy

Zachsneider:
Heyy,

Good Evening, trust you had a great day?
Whenever you see this: just know you can get 10% off on all your orders from jumia when you use this code: APSTYLER.

you're welcome

Our polithieficians promise us during the Campaign that get them to power that they will make life easier for the citizen which I later found out is a big scam of the 80th century.

AsherAmari:
I asked a man if he was married ( he was asking me out) he said no. I asked him if he smokes, he said nope.

So he invited me over to his place. His kitchen looked so well arranged and stocked up for a bachelor. I just kept observing things.

So he went into one of the rooms and I saw a big photo album hidden under the table. I brought it out, LO and behold, I saw from his traditional marriage to white wedding pics. My heart began to pant. I heard him coming and quickly tucked it back under the table. He looked at me strangely and called out. Beke!!! ... I just smiled.

Then he entered another room and was ironing. When he left, I quickly peeked and saw a mobile rack with female clothings. He moved the rack out of their room to that place so any girl that comes will not see any female clothes in his room. Mehnn... This time he caught me peeking, didn't say anything but the way he eyed me? I felt like disappearing.

He went into his room and as he was coming out this time, he had a cigarette in his mouth. And I asked, I tot you said you don't smoke? He replied. Now you know. Huh?

I couldn't even mention the marriage part let him not strangle me. Immediately He dropped me off. I blocked him on Facebook and blacklisted his number.

Very big fat lie!

DID HE ATE YOUR FORBIDDEN FRUIT?

sigiyaya112:
The Story of heaven and hell fire

e go clear your eyes one day

That Buhari is a man of integrity...

The redundant, nepotic, coupist is all shades of LIES, and DECEIT... dude's Nigeria's WORST BLUNDER!

Ipob lying that Buhari is Jubril from Sudan

sigiyaya112:
The Story of heaven and hell fire

How is this a lie to you?

That Buhari is jubril later I discovered baba is the real Bihari

That Buhari is jubril later I discovered baba is the real Buhari

RingRoadMafia:
No go find work. Dey find who go send you the moni wey dem suffer for. Oponu!

Registered April 24th

Haaaaaaaaa this people don ..... get Mind oh


Ogun kill all e - beggars

AsherAmari:
Your point exactly?

I didn't share my experience to seek for advice. I only did to warn other young girls who are still searching to be careful. So don't bother. I'm older and wiser now. I can take care of myself.

Good night.

Are you now MARRIED??... Cos the scenario happened 8years ago, I'm assuming you are 23/24 then .. now.. 23 +8=31... But you look beautiful though if Na you truly dey inside that PICTURE... No mind me.. I'm DETECTIVE FASHOLA...

A friend lied to me that iPhone doesn't have sender, all because I asked her to share me movies..

IkengaRussell:
I was born into a Jehovah's Witness family..They sold a lot of horseshit to us.But the one wey hirt me pass,was that i actually believed that only 144,000 witnesses would go to heaven.The rest of the righteous witnesses would inherit the earth(it would have turned to a paradise then)and that there would be no sickness,death or pain any more..Then all unrighteous people(wordlys in their terms)will be destroyed in the battle of Armaggedon and the devil will be cast into the abyss for 1000 years...What a load of bullshit!!!E dey pain me because i spent the best part of the 1st 20 years of my life believing it fiercely and i went around my area with a huge bag full of books and magazines trying to convince people about the "TRUTH"..Mehn!!person don mumu kwanu oo..One of these days, i'll take a stroll to there their new world headquaters in Warwick,New York and leave a few IEDs...Yes,thats how much i hate them!!!!

Just for ref purposes. Loool. Teach your kids better,I lost a bro to that crap too. When he became aware about what life really was,he could not handle it and resorted to drugs. Sad

PotatoSalad:
Lazy ass. Enter street and find something to do or rather sell your phone and use the money to stop disgracing your generation here.
Lazy ass able bodied human being

seen

inumidun2010:
Are you now MARRIED??... Cos the scenario happened 8years ago, I'm assuming you are 23/24 then .. now.. 23 +8=31... But you look beautiful though if Na you truly dey inside that PICTURE... No mind me.. I'm DETECTIVE FASHOLA...

Lol. Typical of a detective.

Yes that's me . Thanks.

Good morning.

AsherAmari:
Lol. Typical of a detective.

Yes that's me . Thanks.

Good morning.

You've not answered my first QUESTION ooooh... Cos e be like say your PICTURE go follow go this year SHILOH... Make LIVING FAITH girls allow me REST...

inumidun2010:
You've not answered my first QUESTION ooooh... Cos e be like say your PICTURE go follow go this year SHILOH... Make LIVING FAITH girls allow me REST...

Lol... Why should the allow you rest? Answer them biko.

AsherAmari:
I asked a man if he was married ( he was asking me out) he said no. I asked him if he smokes, he said nope.

So he invited me over to his place. His kitchen looked so well arranged and stocked up for a bachelor. I just kept observing things.

So he went into one of the rooms and I saw a big photo album hidden under the table. I brought it out, LO and behold, I saw from his traditional marriage to white wedding pics. My heart began to pant. I heard him coming and quickly tucked it back under the table. He looked at me strangely and called out. Beke!!! ... I just smiled.

Then he entered another room and was ironing. When he left, I quickly peeked and saw a mobile rack with female clothings. He moved the rack out of their room to that place so any girl that comes will not see any female clothes in his room. Mehnn... This time he caught me peeking, didn't say anything but the way he eyed me? I felt like disappearing.

He went into his room and as he was coming out this time, he had a cigarette in his mouth. And I asked, I tot you said you don't smoke? He replied. Now you know. Huh?

I couldn't even mention the marriage part let him not strangle me. Immediately He dropped me off. I blocked him on Facebook and blacklisted his number.

Very big fat lie!

don't you think the lie worth it


Since una no fit stay one place.

AsherAmari:
Lol... Why should the allow you rest? Answer them biko.

Chai... Mama, Answer my question... You stubborn ooooh...

chatinent:
The news about bloodshed was becoming unbecoming so I decided to spice up your day. Remember the lie sb told you but you later discovered the truth.

Share your experiences.


Mine:

1. Hanty say she doesn't like fufu.. “I feel nauseated by the smell. I can't hold it, I'll throw up.”

Visited her fam house...they were on Ofe Nchawu with achara. I didn't know at the mention of her name at home, all the fufu dobales.

2. Caught the most holy “virgin” church girl in my street back home in our barrack! Funny thing was I met her and told her I was travelling to school. She also told me she was going for a church program in another state.

My room was Block C. She tie wrapper come out Block D.

E choke.

3. Date....


What's your name?


Cloe Davis


(Saved digits, Truecaller tagged her “Bolanle Ogunjobi”)


Fish will swallow you, Bolanle.


4. My neighbour was always claiming sojo. I bin feel say na Cadet as per en papa hold small bar, and e bi like the oga go get connection.

We happen to meet at one party like that...he was all the way in the jacuzzi (all military underwear camouflage).

One flat chest go rebel am.

Wetin I hear na “come out, reason me your indian delta.”

Oga begin beg o.

Beg! I laugh die.


Dem tell am to off am. Bros beg dem no gree. Dem woos am better slaps.

E come dey go house enter bike. Wetin I hear amid tears na “no worry, I swear I will hunt you. My dad is a police. My uncle is the head of Sarz.”

I laughed die.

5. My neighbour girlfriend always lying to me her dad was a GM of FirstBank.

The problem was... I didn't even mind if she was rich or poor; I just liked her.

I was staying with my rich uncles she felt were my parents. She always didn't believe me when I said they weren't. She always thought I was hiding sth.

Two years down the line, I realized her dad was a gateman.

WTF was he doing with a briefcase going to work in suit!

6. Babe bi forming British accent for me.

She alleged to have stayed in Birmingham. Toh, I no even like the girl sha. She was too loud.

She bin yarn me say my job is too poor for her liking.

Mehn.


One day she say she dey go back London say her dad wants her back.


Many months later when I was returning from Maiduguri, we stopped at Enugu and was welcomed by the loud off-key poems of their “buy okpa” poets.

Reluctantly, I raised my head up from my phone to the rear.

Omg, is this not Theresa?

I came down. Called out to her, she took off. I pursue am hold am. She almost wanted the ground to swallow her.

Mehn.

7. One guy in my school was claiming he was an Ex-Boy (ex-student of Nigeria Military School). He would lie all sorts of things like how he is still being paid salary now, and how his father was a Brigadier General.

He was an Igbo guy. He was showing us the photo of his self-acclaimed father one day. I noticed it was zoomed. I collected the phone and zoomed out. Lo and behold, a muslim name was on the tag of the soldier.

Baba had to re-arrange his lie and said his father didn't use his real name to join the military.

E chock o.


All our attempts to make this guy accept he lied was in vain until one exboy who is now a Lieutenant (a lecturer) publicly asked the guy who is father was (chawossing) and what year he passed out from NMS. The soldier obviously got tired of the frequent lies.

Oga begin bite tongue. He literally pee-d. He was disgraced openly later by the man. His father was a Custom Officer. Mehn.

I was like why this guy come dey lie. Abi e no know say I value Custom Officers pass green cap?

8. A guy I respected who lied he was 40 to me.


His body sold his lie. He looked maturer.


I dey respect this guy maka the age barrier. I didn't know what I was searching and saw his original birth certificate with 22years of age on it.

Darkness befell me. I staggered and my arms found a wedge.

I felt betrayed.


I dey call am Oga Martin.

E come inside, I was like “Martin, God go punish you.”

E wan claim activity and all that.

I open en yansh.


My guy laughed me. That was when I truly began to see the underage in him; he was laughing but I was starring at him in disgust!

After two years! Baba even tell me he is divorced with a grown-up daughter in Jakarta who he'd like me to meet.

Mehn, na so my in-lawship died.

And I bin dey give the pastard enough respect.

It hurted more knowing that he was still the same person behind the beautiful girl pics!

Come share yours

.....boy! i like your style of writing....no i love am...abeg keep writing and posting here i enjoy this one wella and i de look forward to the next one

Thanks sir.

lucky4west:
.....boy! i like your style of writing....no i love am...abeg keep writing and posting here i enjoy this one wella and i de look forward to the next one

Bmaster:
don't you think the lie worth it


Since una no fit stay one place.

Stay in one place how? Did I tell you I was jumping from one place to the other?

So, as a young girl of marriageable age, if a man comes to me for relationship, I should refuse Him? Or what are you guys saying.?

SMH.

inumidun2010:
Chai... Mama, Answer my question... You stubborn ooooh...

What was the question sef?

AsherAmari:
Stay in one place how? Did I tell you I was jumping from one place to the other?

So, as a young girl of marriageable age, if a man comes to me for relationship, I should refuse Him? Or what are you guys saying.?

SMH.

sorry ma.
I never knew sleeping around was part of the marketing strategies.

My bad