afoife:


I felt bad that I advised someone against giving money to his mother and here I am giving to my mother.

Am I doing the right thing?

Yes you are. Just don't look at it as giving money period. You are giving for her upkeep... he is giving for her addiction.
He should cut her off until she is is ready to battle her addiction. A sign of that is when she begins to accept foodstuff and show signs of moving forward. Most programmes ... rehab etc do not work if the person is not determined to be clean. He needs to move on with his life. Most of us do not understand the power of addiction. Simple addiction like masturbation....where drugs are not involved... sooo many struggle to overcome. When drugs are involved it is sooo many times more addictive.

@afoife it would be the way you added finality to your advice. When advicing people we actually should only be guides, showing them the options, telling them where they may be wrong but leaving them to make their own informed decision. He can consider putting a ceiling to the help he offers his mum, but not withdrawing it in total.

All the best

let him continue give what he can afford and ,is a mandatory she mustn't make a curse,mother is a mother in any situation, no children's that has any authority to question his mother or father, mother is supreme, what do you know what make her to addiction ,it can even purpose for you, which you don't know, the mother need people to assess her to know what exact the nature of his being,to know what approach she needed,if he refused to give her,worst things,because an hungry is an angry person, if nobody cares for she wouldn't care to bad things too.

afoife:
Hello all, I have a staff on my farm whom I have known for sometimes before I employed him. Then I have been supporting him financially in the little way I can until I needed an extra hand, so he joined me.

It was during our conversation that I realized he is actually a bricklayer, I have been able to help him get construction jobs from friends who are civil engineers, but still I noticed he is always broke.

So I asked him how come, or is it that my friend has not been paying? He told me has been getting his wage, so why are you always broke?

He told me it's his family, but I know he is not married, he said it's his mum, she is a.drunk and smokes, this guy is in his mid thirty so I presume the mother should be in the mid fifty (I have never met her)

This guy lives around bere in Ibadan (the mum lives around there also), so I raised funds for him and relocated him to Akala express, and I told him to separate himself from him family members for some time. So he can give directions to his life, which he did and he called me yesterday that he wants to buy a mini gas cylinder as fasting is approaching, but he didn't use his phone, so I asked him of his phone, he said he switched it off as his mum has been disturbing him for money

But just yesterday, I was going to sending money to my mum for weekly upkeep, I felt bad that I advised someone against giving money to his mother and here I am giving to my mother.

Am I doing the right thing?

You have done the right thing, no regrets besides it was an advice not that you forced it on him, he saw that which was right in your advice


Anyways I won’t mind having a link to your agent I dey find house for that side too

CasNova:
The guy is an adult.

Limit whatever you tell him to counseling.

Do not enforce or make attempt to enforce it on him. Let him make his choice.

Pls shut up and go back to ur bed.... Let her do anytin to help is life.

Even adult sumtyms need help...

afoife:
Hello all, I have a staff on my farm whom I have known for sometimes before I employed him. Then I have been supporting him financially in the little way I can until I needed an extra hand, so he joined me.

It was during our conversation that I realized he is actually a bricklayer, I have been able to help him get construction jobs from friends who are civil engineers, but still I noticed he is always broke.

So I asked him how come, or is it that my friend has not been paying? He told me has been getting his wage, so why are you always broke?

He told me it's his family, but I know he is not married, he said it's his mum, she is a.drunk and smokes, this guy is in his mid thirty so I presume the mother should be in the mid fifty (I have never met her)

This guy lives around bere in Ibadan (the mum lives around there also), so I raised funds for him and relocated him to Akala express, and I told him to separate himself from him family members for some time. So he can give directions to his life, which he did and he called me yesterday that he wants to buy a mini gas cylinder as fasting is approaching, but he didn't use his phone, so I asked him of his phone, he said he switched it off as his mum has been disturbing him for money

But just yesterday, I was going to sending money to my mum for weekly upkeep, I felt bad that I advised someone against giving money to his mother and here I am giving to my mother.

Am I doing the right thing?

You did with good intention, you should add this to the advice you give him.
Tell him to buy foodstuffs and other necessities and stock it for her instead of giving her cash.

Oga o! Sir can i join u in your farm since u need helping hand and i don't av job 4 now sir? And i stay in ibadan sir

.

afoife:


Thank you.
Some info is missing up there, the woman from what the guy told me had multiple marriages.

He being the only child the woman had with his father, has some other siblings and they all set the mother up in firewood business, and as expected she couldn't maintain the business and they couldn't have account for investment let alone profit.

I told him to only buy food stuffs and stop sending money and he told me she will throw the food at you and say she can't eat what you have brought.

She's obviously not hungry.
It's the addiction they need to kill.
And the best way to do that is not giving her money!

AsherAmari:
Since your conscience is pricking you, call and tell him to resume giving his mother money for upkeep again.

How come he still can't afford a gas cylinder even after working with you?

Isn't it obvious?

Very wrong Mr, telling him not to give his mother money again is a no no for me. That's not your call to make. What's worst is that you now aided his relocation. Yeah I get it, his mum is an addict. Do you think asking him to stop giving his mum money or relocating him will stop her from her addiction? The answer is a capital NO. The young man should go back to his mum and help her with her addiction, not run away from her else she'll seek other means of satisfying her thirst (addiction). Trust me you wouldn't want that to happen.

afoife:
Hello all, I have a staff on my farm whom I have known for sometimes before I employed him. Then I have been supporting him financially in the little way I can until I needed an extra hand, so he joined me.

It was during our conversation that I realized he is actually a bricklayer, I have been able to help him get construction jobs from friends who are civil engineers, but still I noticed he is always broke.

So I asked him how come, or is it that my friend has not been paying? He told me has been getting his wage, so why are you always broke?

He told me it's his family, but I know he is not married, he said it's his mum, she is a.drunk and smokes, this guy is in his mid thirty so I presume the mother should be in the mid fifty (I have never met her)

This guy lives around bere in Ibadan (the mum lives around there also), so I raised funds for him and relocated him to Akala express, and I told him to separate himself from him family members for some time. So he can give directions to his life, which he did and he called me yesterday that he wants to buy a mini gas cylinder as fasting is approaching, but he didn't use his phone, so I asked him of his phone, he said he switched it off as his mum has been disturbing him for money

But just yesterday, I was going to sending money to my mum for weekly upkeep, I felt bad that I advised someone against giving money to his mother and here I am giving to my mother.

Am I doing the right thing?

afoife:
Hello all, I have a staff on my farm whom I have known for sometimes before I employed him. Then I have been supporting him financially in the little way I can until I needed an extra hand, so he joined me.

It was during our conversation that I realized he is actually a bricklayer, I have been able to help him get construction jobs from friends who are civil engineers, but still I noticed he is always broke.

So I asked him how come, or is it that my friend has not been paying? He told me has been getting his wage, so why are you always broke?

He told me it's his family, but I know he is not married, he said it's his mum, she is a.drunk and smokes, this guy is in his mid thirty so I presume the mother should be in the mid fifty (I have never met her)

This guy lives around bere in Ibadan (the mum lives around there also), so I raised funds for him and relocated him to Akala express, and I told him to separate himself from him family members for some time. So he can give directions to his life, which he did and he called me yesterday that he wants to buy a mini gas cylinder as fasting is approaching, but he didn't use his phone, so I asked him of his phone, he said he switched it off as his mum has been disturbing him for money

But just yesterday, I was going to sending money to my mum for weekly upkeep, I felt bad that I advised someone against giving money to his mother and here I am giving to my mother.

Am I doing the right thing?

bro pls I'm in a big delimma...pls can you help me with#5000 in the name of God.pls!

afoife:
Hello all, I have a staff on my farm whom I have known for sometimes before I employed him. Then I have been supporting him financially in the little way I can until I needed an extra hand, so he joined me.

It was during our conversation that I realized he is actually a bricklayer, I have been able to help him get construction jobs from friends who are civil engineers, but still I noticed he is always broke.

So I asked him how come, or is it that my friend has not been paying? He told me has been getting his wage, so why are you always broke?

He told me it's his family, but I know he is not married, he said it's his mum, she is a.drunk and smokes, this guy is in his mid thirty so I presume the mother should be in the mid fifty (I have never met her)

This guy lives around bere in Ibadan (the mum lives around there also), so I raised funds for him and relocated him to Akala express, and I told him to separate himself from him family members for some time. So he can give directions to his life, which he did and he called me yesterday that he wants to buy a mini gas cylinder as fasting is approaching, but he didn't use his phone, so I asked him of his phone, he said he switched it off as his mum has been disturbing him for money

But just yesterday, I was going to sending money to my mum for weekly upkeep, I felt bad that I advised someone against giving money to his mother and here I am giving to my mother.

Am I doing the right thing?

Giving mum money is not bad but excessive demands from the mum is highly prohibited especially the fact that the mum is a drunkard and you said this your guy is a bricklayer and he is not married yet, he needs to plan his future and get something better to do because bricklayer is hard labour it's not something one should take as a profession because it weaken the body easily

afoife:
Hello all, I have a staff on my farm whom I have known for sometimes before I employed him. Then I have been supporting him financially in the little way I can until I needed an extra hand, so he joined me.

It was during our conversation that I realized he is actually a bricklayer, I have been able to help him get construction jobs from friends who are civil engineers, but still I noticed he is always broke.

So I asked him how come, or is it that my friend has not been paying? He told me has been getting his wage, so why are you always broke?

He told me it's his family, but I know he is not married, he said it's his mum, she is a.drunk and smokes, this guy is in his mid thirty so I presume the mother should be in the mid fifty (I have never met her)

This guy lives around bere in Ibadan (the mum lives around there also), so I raised funds for him and relocated him to Akala express, and I told him to separate himself from him family members for some time. So he can give directions to his life, which he did and he called me yesterday that he wants to buy a mini gas cylinder as fasting is approaching, but he didn't use his phone, so I asked him of his phone, he said he switched it off as his mum has been disturbing him for money

But just yesterday, I was going to sending money to my mum for weekly upkeep, I felt bad that I advised someone against giving money to his mother and here I am giving to my mother.

Am I doing the right thing?

Sending money to your mum ain't bad. But making it a habit is very wrong,most especially if she doesn't use it wisely,just like your friend's mum.

afoife:
Hello all, I have a staff on my farm whom I have known for sometimes before I employed him. Then I have been supporting him financially in the little way I can until I needed an extra hand, so he joined me.

It was during our conversation that I realized he is actually a bricklayer, I have been able to help him get construction jobs from friends who are civil engineers, but still I noticed he is always broke.

So I asked him how come, or is it that my friend has not been paying? He told me has been getting his wage, so why are you always broke?

He told me it's his family, but I know he is not married, he said it's his mum, she is a.drunk and smokes, this guy is in his mid thirty so I presume the mother should be in the mid fifty (I have never met her)

This guy lives around bere in Ibadan (the mum lives around there also), so I raised funds for him and relocated him to Akala express, and I told him to separate himself from him family members for some time. So he can give directions to his life, which he did and he called me yesterday that he wants to buy a mini gas cylinder as fasting is approaching, but he didn't use his phone, so I asked him of his phone, he said he switched it off as his mum has been disturbing him for money

But just yesterday, I was going to sending money to my mum for weekly upkeep, I felt bad that I advised someone against giving money to his mother and here I am giving to my mother.

Am I doing the right thing?

You must be very stupid for such advice idiot

I would advise u tell him to always make food available in his mum's house And he shouldn't give her any Dime.
always feel her house with foods stuff.

afoife:
Hello all, I have a staff on my farm whom I have known for sometimes before I employed him. Then I have been supporting him financially in the little way I can until I needed an extra hand, so he joined me.

It was during our conversation that I realized he is actually a bricklayer, I have been able to help him get construction jobs from friends who are civil engineers, but still I noticed he is always broke.

So I asked him how come, or is it that my friend has not been paying? He told me has been getting his wage, so why are you always broke?

He told me it's his family, but I know he is not married, he said it's his mum, she is a.drunk and smokes, this guy is in his mid thirty so I presume the mother should be in the mid fifty (I have never met her)

This guy lives around bere in Ibadan (the mum lives around there also), so I raised funds for him and relocated him to Akala express, and I told him to separate himself from him family members for some time. So he can give directions to his life, which he did and he called me yesterday that he wants to buy a mini gas cylinder as fasting is approaching, but he didn't use his phone, so I asked him of his phone, he said he switched it off as his mum has been disturbing him for money

But just yesterday, I was going to sending money to my mum for weekly upkeep, I felt bad that I advised someone against giving money to his mother and here I am giving to my mother.

Am I doing the right thing?

The mother should be referred to the appropriate channel for proper care!

afoife:
Hello all, I have a staff on my farm whom I have known for sometimes before I employed him. Then I have been supporting him financially in the little way I can until I needed an extra hand, so he joined me.

It was during our conversation that I realized he is actually a bricklayer, I have been able to help him get construction jobs from friends who are civil engineers, but still I noticed he is always broke.

So I asked him how come, or is it that my friend has not been paying? He told me has been getting his wage, so why are you always broke?

He told me it's his family, but I know he is not married, he said it's his mum, she is a.drunk and smokes, this guy is in his mid thirty so I presume the mother should be in the mid fifty (I have never met her)

This guy lives around bere in Ibadan (the mum lives around there also), so I raised funds for him and relocated him to Akala express, and I told him to separate himself from him family members for some time. So he can give directions to his life, which he did and he called me yesterday that he wants to buy a mini gas cylinder as fasting is approaching, but he didn't use his phone, so I asked him of his phone, he said he switched it off as his mum has been disturbing him for money

But just yesterday, I was going to sending money to my mum for weekly upkeep, I felt bad that I advised someone against giving money to his mother and here I am giving to my mother.

Am I doing the right thing?

Na the consequence of getting married to shisha and alcohol addict girlfriend. Awon omo ventura, Apollos be that. My dear brother marry a responsible girl. No be
only pussy you need o, you need a good woman for upkeep of your children

Men I thought artisans make a lot of money.....when I took my car to my vulcaniser iuse to calculates how much he pumps a tyre-#100 & patching with fufu~#300-#500 then d numbers of cars he service....I know he can make #5k -#7k a day...but I wonder why he is still wretched he cannot afford a bike.

afoife:
Hello all, I have a staff on my farm whom I have known for sometimes before I employed him. Then I have been supporting him financially in the little way I can until I needed an extra hand, so he joined me.

It was during our conversation that I realized he is actually a bricklayer, I have been able to help him get construction jobs from friends who are civil engineers, but still I noticed he is always broke.

So I asked him how come, or is it that my friend has not been paying? He told me has been getting his wage, so why are you always broke?

He told me it's his family, but I know he is not married, he said it's his mum, she is a.drunk and smokes, this guy is in his mid thirty so I presume the mother should be in the mid fifty (I have never met her)

This guy lives around bere in Ibadan (the mum lives around there also), so I raised funds for him and relocated him to Akala express, and I told him to separate himself from him family members for some time. So he can give directions to his life, which he did and he called me yesterday that he wants to buy a mini gas cylinder as fasting is approaching, but he didn't use his phone, so I asked him of his phone, he said he switched it off as his mum has been disturbing him for money

But just yesterday, I was going to sending money to my mum for weekly upkeep, I felt bad that I advised someone against giving money to his mother and here I am giving to my mother.

Am I doing the right thing?

U murdered English language.
Murderer

He should put his mother on a monthly salary or weekly, once he send the money to her, he should not send anything to her again. And let her know that is his plan for her. Whatever she does with the money his non of his business again even though he will advice her to use it to buy food stuff

alfarouq:

You did with good intention, you should add this to the advice you give him.
Tell him to buy foodstuffs and other necessities and stock it for her instead of giving her cash.

He added something else if you read down. Whenever the son buys foodstuffs and other things for the mum, she throws it away saying she needs just cash

Una wahala for this place too much.

afoife:
Hello all, I have a staff on my farm whom I have known for sometimes before I employed him. Then I have been supporting him financially in the little way I can until I needed an extra hand, so he joined me.

It was during our conversation that I realized he is actually a bricklayer, I have been able to help him get construction jobs from friends who are civil engineers, but still I noticed he is always broke.

So I asked him how come, or is it that my friend has not been paying? He told me has been getting his wage, so why are you always broke?

He told me it's his family, but I know he is not married, he said it's his mum, she is a.drunk and smokes, this guy is in his mid thirty so I presume the mother should be in the mid fifty (I have never met her)

This guy lives around bere in Ibadan (the mum lives around there also), so I raised funds for him and relocated him to Akala express, and I told him to separate himself from him family members for some time. So he can give directions to his life, which he did and he called me yesterday that he wants to buy a mini gas cylinder as fasting is approaching, but he didn't use his phone, so I asked him of his phone, he said he switched it off as his mum has been disturbing him for money

But just yesterday, I was going to sending money to my mum for weekly upkeep, I felt bad that I advised someone against giving money to his mother and here I am giving to my mother.

Am I doing the right thing?

May the Good Lord bless you abundantly

Acidosis:




A struggling bricklayer living from hand to mouth should place a 50 year + old drunkard on monthly allowance?

Why? ...because she's a woman/mother, right?


Omo, Nigerian men has suffered.

Its a dilemma because if you give her money, she will use it for drugs. If you dont give her, Its obvious she will not have money for drugs but it will look like neglect. She never said that she needed money for foodstuffs so i dont think God will punish the guy for not indulging the mum. Its just confusing mehn!

adewumiopeyemi:



It wil surely backfire to you


Rememer that you also have mother
And she brought you up to this level

A woman has to eat the fruit of the womb no matter what


No matter what



I love my mother

No woman can control me

Never in this life

But she is using his generosity to harm herself. If something happens now, the guy might feel guilty for been the one sponsoring the addiction. Infact i dont even know what to say sef. This people can be dangerous to even come close to

MummyD2020:


But she is using his generosity to harm herself. If something happens now, the guy might feel guilty for been the one sponsoring the addiction. Infact i dont even know what to say sef. This people can be dangerous to even come close to

Am telling you bro someone should be careful

The woman needs to be rehabilitated first so that any money given to her will have a meaningful impact on her life. She'll come out happier and the family will bond better to her advantage.

That way, her son can settle down in peace too. At over 30, he can't continue struggling to make ends meet only to feed an addiction.

He and his siblings should try the rehabilitation centres suggested. Caring isn't about sending money to her alone. She needs to live a good life.

brainhgeek:
Nigerians should wake up to the fact that it is wrong to think that once you start having kids, you start hoping that you become their responsibility when they start making some change. It is very wrong. Work for your money and retire with no one shouldering your responsibility

Full stop.

Wicked women