₦airaland Forum

Righteousness2:
A Broken courtship is better than a broken Marriage.
Never marry for pity! Never marry for the Crowd.

If you Have no conviction from the Lord, back out! Break off! Break out!

gbam, final and best answer

Even if they don't conduct a traditional marriage, they are already married has they are. Any other marriage conducted or not conducted will make no difference

SefunmiHookups:
This is disgustingly a shame and should never be the norm. Why do people get married in the first place if so! Utterly disgusting and shameless. Even when I used to do hookups for young shawtys, I never permit them to do married men and I limit it to young dudes. I will run a profile check on em before I let them have the girl's number. I hate infidelity in marriages.
Pls I hope that's not what you are also doing Sisioge (third party thingy). I might not get married because of all these terrible, scary and wicked things I hear everyday on Nairaland. Live doesn't exist, I think. It's just companionship and people managing to bear one another in a union. God oo ejor help me

This is weird and I think you are lying to the bone. Only married men can afford to pay the hefty sum for women in any type of hookups because they are mostly in their 40s and 50s. How do you think the young unmarried men are able to afford hookups that are so expensive for their age? I mean most Nigerians start getting financially stable in their late 20s or early 30s, so how does the single young dude have money for hookups?

Is it the young dude that just finished NYSC at 25 years that would pay Amaka money to fly from Abuja to Lagos on AirPeace 100k ticket for just weekend sex in Protea Hotel and pay 50k or more for just one night?

Too many hypocrites on Nairaland honestly, you organize hookups and you're here worried about married men cheating. It's like organizing illegal drug supplies to your country and wondering why kids are dying from drug abuse.

CSoul:
(Created this new account to post for a sister)



Please help advice a sister in confusion.....


Background:


"I reconnected with my old school toaster who always spoke marriage and love.
Got serious in 5 months.
I've met a lot of people from his end within this period.
He shows me off.
Introduction was done and wedding date fixed."

Issues:
Traditional is barely a week away; yet she's bleeding and scared of the future because of her discoveries:

1. The husband to be has anger issues. Ok, he's all nice and good when in good mood. But once something triggers him, all hell is let loose. The trigger can be a simple missing his call(while at work/meeting). No amount of sweet talk or explanations calms him down.

2. The shocker is that he cheats/has a fuckmate living nearby. She discovered this with evidence from their chats and hasn't been herself. The chat is detailed description of their exploits right up to the present and future plans how they'll continue after he's married. (From same chat, the other lady is aware he's getting married.
He tried denying it; when it didn't work he started making excuses/begging he'll change.

3. He doesn't want any third party intervention in their affairs, not even counseling.

She's scared of the future and yet feels stuck as court marriage is done already, most preparations have been done(publicity and most of other physical arrangements), both for the traditional and wedding.


Kindly give your mature advice; she'll be reading every bit of it.
(Admin kindly push to front page)

No 2 is manageable but no 1and 3 is Scarry and dangerous, a serious red alert.

RUN O! RUN O!!

Pele

Kebbiprince:
Nobody is talking about God which we can't see here, we're talking about the law

Thank you, just saw the court part

Yes, the court that binded also gave room for divorce. It is better than living in a marriage of sorrow before going to altar.

My point is it's never too late

.

ireneidiva:
Stop twisting the Bible to suit your desires. God hates divorce. Divorce is divorce no matter where the marriage took place. So God lives only in the church? I hope you also realize that they pray and sing in the court before the marriage? God was very much a witness there. Finally, learn to read. Read his third point to see where Registry marriage was mentioned.

Ok, thank you, saw the court part.

Court marriage is not a problem, divorce is quite encouraging than going to meet at the altar.

It is not too late for her to stop the marriage.
Forever is too long

emmyN:
Sweet nonsense . Where in your bible did God tell you to put him as witness in marriage?

Whatever is done in the presence of God and initiated by Him put Him into the picture and as a witness.

Good night

Infrabetatech:
Where is the venue?

I want to eat wedding rice

I just love the way this likes stopped at 419!!

Johncuppa:
Whatever is done in the presence of God and initiated by Him put Him into the picture and as a witness.

Good night

Gbam! Correct! no argue again with am. Just go Sleep. You replied well.

Marriage is not courtship. If you will not take the physical shits that ur seeing now because he might not change that much after marriage then you should back out or else enjoy the ride

CSoul:
(Created this new account to post for a sister)



Please help advice a sister in confusion.....


Background:


"I reconnected with my old school toaster who always spoke marriage and love.
Got serious in 5 months.
I've met a lot of people from his end within this period.
He shows me off.
Introduction was done and wedding date fixed."

Issues:
Traditional is barely a week away; yet she's bleeding and scared of the future because of her discoveries:

1. The husband to be has anger issues. Ok, he's all nice and good when in good mood. But once something triggers him, all hell is let loose. The trigger can be a simple missing his call(while at work/meeting). No amount of sweet talk or explanations calms him down.

2. The shocker is that he cheats/has a fuckmate living nearby. She discovered this with evidence from their chats and hasn't been herself. The chat is detailed description of their exploits right up to the present and future plans how they'll continue after he's married. (From same chat, the other lady is aware he's getting married.
He tried denying it; when it didn't work he started making excuses/begging he'll change.

3. He doesn't want any third party intervention in their affairs, not even counseling.

She's scared of the future and yet feels stuck as court marriage is done already, most preparations have been done(publicity and most of other physical arrangements), both for the traditional and wedding.


Kindly give your mature advice; she'll be reading every bit of it.
(Admin kindly push to front page)

SHE BETTER RUN FOR HER LIFE!!! IF THIS IS NOT A MOVIE SCRIPT.

it is foolishness to me when people make statements like "court marriage has been done so I'm stocked"

so if it is death they should go and die?

she should quit now it's not too late

CSoul:
Thanks for your pieces of advice; she's reading everyone of them. Pains, tears and fears.

Publicity ("Banns of marriage" is part of the church's requirements). So yes, the shame on how to face the family/friends and everyone else that has been told about the marriage.

After the husband kills her will family and friends feel ashamed to attend her burial??

Skyfornia:
If your assertion is true then it means your guy is only ready for marriage but not yet ready to settle down.

Ask yourself this question..'Am I ready for marriage or to settle down'?

If your answer is the former then I'll suggest you continue with him but if it is the latter...discard the guy intoto.

You get the point?

Explain to me d conceptual difference between settle down n getting married

Banter1:
Thank God we are not a developed country. Laughs

still valid in Nigeria. She is married

The truth I have understand about life is people don't change. If you have manage to know this little which I believe there more yet to unveil.

You will know more when you got married to him.

My advice is go into the marriage, take your time before you get pregnant to know more to help you jump out if need be.

The only mistake is you stick to the marriage and he kill you because people that can't control their anger end up killing their wife.

In addition put him into emotional test if he beat you know you are in big trouble

CSoul:
(Created this new account to post for a sister)



Please help advice a sister in confusion.....


Background:


"I reconnected with my old school toaster who always spoke marriage and love.
Got serious in 5 months.
I've met a lot of people from his end within this period.
He shows me off.
Introduction was done and wedding date fixed."

Issues:
Traditional is barely a week away; yet she's bleeding and scared of the future because of her discoveries:

1. The husband to be has anger issues. Ok, he's all nice and good when in good mood. But once something triggers him, all hell is let loose. The trigger can be a simple missing his call(while at work/meeting). No amount of sweet talk or explanations calms him down.

2. The shocker is that he cheats/has a fuckmate living nearby. She discovered this with evidence from their chats and hasn't been herself. The chat is detailed description of their exploits right up to the present and future plans how they'll continue after he's married. (From same chat, the other lady is aware he's getting married.
He tried denying it; when it didn't work he started making excuses/begging he'll change.

3. He doesn't want any third party intervention in their affairs, not even counseling.

She's scared of the future and yet feels stuck as court marriage is done already, most preparations have been done(publicity and most of other physical arrangements), both for the traditional and wedding.


Kindly give your mature advice; she'll be reading every bit of it.
(Admin kindly push to front page)

It's late to pull out but it's not a difficult situation

Let her take her time to study him before anything and if UT happens that she can't cope, they can go their separate ways

SegFault:
All this nonsense self, auntie tell your friend this.
Marriage is a union that is meant to last till death, the worst is thing is when kids come in, separation would be disastrous. Living with someone ain't easy talk more about living with someone for the rest of your life, this man is obviously terrible and is showing early signs of a catastrophic failure, she should call it off and have her peace of mind but it is all her choice after all, our choices will always be regrettable but the weight of such regrets differ and the fruits of such choices different. [s] Living in a polygamous home I'd terrible forget ned nwoko you don't know what they face internally, [/s] you only see what people want you to see on social media .

At least, they have something good to present to the public to see on social media, that means it is not that bad after all.
Secondly, be it polygamy or monogamy setting, every family has what they are facing internally. We've seen many monogamous couples where husband killed the wife and /where wife murdered the husband

donbachi:
Heart na bag,everybody hang him own..if dem want the wedding to take place and the marriage to work.both of them should pour out their heart now,with all sincerity of purpose and forgive.

the osun weed you took is very powerful oooo

CSoul:
(Created this new account to post for a sister)



Please help advice a sister in confusion.....


Background:


"I reconnected with my old school toaster who always spoke marriage and love.
Got serious in 5 months.
I've met a lot of people from his end within this period.
He shows me off.
Introduction was done and wedding date fixed."

Issues:
Traditional is barely a week away; yet she's bleeding and scared of the future because of her discoveries:

1. The husband to be has anger issues. Ok, he's all nice and good when in good mood. But once something triggers him, all hell is let loose. The trigger can be a simple missing his call(while at work/meeting). No amount of sweet talk or explanations calms him down.

2. The shocker is that he cheats/has a fuckmate living nearby. She discovered this with evidence from their chats and hasn't been herself. The chat is detailed description of their exploits right up to the present and future plans how they'll continue after he's married. (From same chat, the other lady is aware he's getting married.
He tried denying it; when it didn't work he started making excuses/begging he'll change.

3. He doesn't want any third party intervention in their affairs, not even counseling.

She's scared of the future and yet feels stuck as court marriage is done already, most preparations have been done(publicity and most of other physical arrangements), both for the traditional and wedding.


Kindly give your mature advice; she'll be reading every bit of it.
(Admin kindly push to front page)

She should file for divorce immediately. It would end very badly.

A broken relationship is easier to deal with than a broken marriage.

It's easier to walk away from a relationship than a marriage

Once you say I do, people would automatically let you be and expect you to deal with your marriage issue yourself.

Shine your eyes well well. If you don't see happiness and rest of mind from him, please call off the wedding.

CSoul:
(Created this new account to post for a sister)

Please help advice a sister in confusion.....

Background:

"I reconnected with my old school toaster who always spoke marriage and love.
Got serious in 5 months.
I've met a lot of people from his end within this period.
He shows me off.
Introduction was done and wedding date fixed."

Issues:
Traditional is barely a week away; yet she's bleeding and scared of the future because of her discoveries:

1. The husband to be has anger issues. Ok, he's all nice and good when in good mood. But once something triggers him, all hell is let loose. The trigger can be a simple missing his call(while at work/meeting). No amount of sweet talk or explanations calms him down.

2. The shocker is that he cheats/has a fuckmate living nearby. She discovered this with evidence from their chats and hasn't been herself. The chat is detailed description of their exploits right up to the present and future plans how they'll continue after he's married. (From same chat, the other lady is aware he's getting married.
He tried denying it; when it didn't work he started making excuses/begging he'll change.

3. He doesn't want any third party intervention in their affairs, not even counseling.

She's scared of the future and yet feels stuck as court marriage is done already, most preparations have been done(publicity and most of other physical arrangements), both for the traditional and wedding.


Kindly give your mature advice; she'll be reading every bit of it.
(Admin kindly push to front page)

RUN! RUN!! RUN!!!
>

Infrabetatech:
Where is the venue?
I want to eat wedding rice

Ode the snake eater

frozen70:
It's late to pull out but it's not a difficult situation

Let her take her time to study him before anything and if UT happens that she can't cope, they can go their separate ways

She can’t go her “separate” (or any) way if she’s in a body bag...
>

Stop the wedding period...with all the evidence, what else does she need? It's better its cancelled than marrying a beast. It won't be funny when she gets in.

Memoirs of an average Nigerian girl and her best friend.

This one is looking for consent to divorce her husband cos I read that she's already had a court wedding!

CSoul

Let me tell you a story that my be of value.

Many years back I used to have a baby friend, a boy who is less than two years old. Due to power failure, I put on a candle and kept the candle in my glass table. So I pretend as if I wanted to put the finger of this my baby friend into the fire that was protruding from the candle. The child jerk off his hand instantly Even at that age, the baby knew that he will get burned.

That my little baby friend of mine is wiser than your friend.

As little as he is, his instinct told him that he will get burn

Your friend wants to put his entire life into the fiery fire, knowing that she will get burn

The marriage may consume her like a consuming fire

Men cheat alot.

She already knows its not going to work. She just needs a push. I get the confusion. How do u cope knowing all this points? U just prefer to be sad and scared all the rest of your life in marriage . Is it by force to get married?

frozen70:
It's late to pull out but it's not a difficult situation

Let her take her time to study him before anything and if UT happens that she can't cope, they can go their separate ways

Late!! Its not late. People in marriage pull out even after having kids. When she dies now from beatings or aids you will say she should have left