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One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by TheeDetective: 2:46pm On May 02
@Op; Firstly, it's you we are talking about here; so don't play the it's my friend

Secondly; @ bold; YOU ARE ALREADY MARRIED AS A COURT WEDDING HAS ALREADY BEEN DONE

Thirdly; you knew about the below 3 points you mentioned before you got married in court; so why are you coming to NLand now to seek for people's opinions when you could have sought that before the court wedding date to determine whether you can put up with the shenanigans you mentioned?undecided

1. The husband to be has anger issues.

2. The shocker is that he cheats

3. He doesn't want any third party intervention in their affairs, not even counseling.


You have no one else but yourself to blame knowing all of this and you still went ahead and got married in court to your husband; in your bid (probably desperate) to bear the "MRS" title.undecided

Don't ever think that you are not yet married; because you already are in court and the other wedding/s you are preparing for are just for formality.

Let this serve as a lesson to other women and also men that what you know you can't put up with during courtship, should be addressed and if there is no improvement, take your leave before you say "I DO".
CSoul:
(Created this new account to post for a sister)



Please help advice a sister in confusion.....


Background:


"I reconnected with my old school toaster who always spoke marriage and love.
Got serious in 5 months.
I've met a lot of people from his end within this period.
He shows me off.
Introduction was done and wedding date fixed."

Issues:
Traditional is barely a week away; yet she's bleeding and scared of the future because of her discoveries:

1. The husband to be has anger issues. Ok, he's all nice and good when in good mood. But once something triggers him, all hell is let loose. The trigger can be a simple missing his call(while at work/meeting). No amount of sweet talk or explanations calms him down.

2. The shocker is that he cheats/has a fuckmate living nearby. She discovered this with evidence from their chats and hasn't been herself. The chat is detailed description of their exploits right up to the present and future plans how they'll continue after he's married. (From same chat, the other lady is aware he's getting married.
He tried denying it; when it didn't work he started making excuses/begging he'll change.

3. He doesn't want any third party intervention in their affairs, not even counseling.

She's scared of the future and yet feels stuck as court marriage is done already, most preparations have been done(publicity and most of other physical arrangements), both for the traditional and wedding.


Kindly give your mature advice; she'll be reading every bit of it.
(Admin kindly push to front page)

3 Likes

Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by NoToPile: 3:49pm On May 02
She's already married - court wedding done

1 Like

Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by LilMissFavvy(f): 4:05pm On May 02
What is shameful there? If she wants to quit, let her show the world who he is, I believe she saved screenshots of everything. Let her show her parents. Which parents would advise his or her daughter to marry a hot tempered unrepentant cheat who has already told his side chick that he will continue in adultery even after marriage. If the lady is still young, I would advise her to quit. But if she is advanced in age and tired of waiting for the right man, then she can marry him, have one or two kids, and divorce him, if he cheats and stresses her in the marriage.
CSoul:
Thanks for your pieces of advice; she's reading everyone of them. Pains, tears and fears.

Publicity ("Banns of marriage" is part of the church's requirements). So yes, the shame on how to face the family/friends and everyone else that has been told about the marriage. cry cry cry

8 Likes

Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by Nephilim: 4:20pm On May 02
She's legally married already.

What she needs now is Patience and Endurance.

If the guy continues in cheating after they are through with the whole wedding saga, then she has the right to divorce. But divorce is not good anyways.

For his anger, she just had to bear till it becomes life threatening then she can separate.

There's nothing to be afraid of but there's a lot to be cautious and prayerful about.

3 Likes

Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by Richy4(m): 4:48pm On May 02
CSoul:
Thanks for your pieces of advice; she's reading everyone of them. Pains, tears and fears.

Publicity ("Banns of marriage" is part of the church's requirements). So yes, the shame on how to face the family/friends and everyone else that has been told about the marriage. cry cry cry

What do you mean shame...Is it better she ends up in a body bag?....

I am honestly praying that she was not a hopeless case because she doesn't want advice. but if u people knows how to make her see reasons, please do because she's like a tenant living with a livewire at home... she doesn't know when she will be electrocuted...
If she did not die of diseases from the cheating spouse, then the beatings and numerous punching will kill her..

5 Likes

Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by Vokmpyuio: 4:48pm On May 04
Don't be lost o

Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by rita25(f): 4:51pm On May 04
take my advice and LEAVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.he will only get worse..believe me i know cos thats my story embarassed embarassed embarassed embarassed embarassed cry cry cry cry

4 Likes

Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by MrFlavvor(m): 4:52pm On May 04
lucky999:
no one is perfect,
in this life we have to take a risk,

but if you take a risk and get into trouble, I take God beg you no mention my name grin
Guy grin
Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by Rickbronz(m): 4:52pm On May 04
hmmm

Meanwhile get a quick and affordable loan with no collateral requirements. Check my signature
Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by jikaseo(f): 4:53pm On May 04
If you found out these things before the court wedding, would you still marry him? If your answer is NO, then go ahead and get a divorce. People hardly change.

5 Likes

Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by Goldbw122: 4:53pm On May 04
Well she is already married, by law, if she never marry now that would have been another issue but now it is just By God's grace, and that man Need a huge change, and she just walked into the lions den that need to be plead with, well Good luck with her marraige and God bless her and his husband. Amen..
Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by kingkoboko: 4:53pm On May 04
R.I.P 2d bride in advance.

Premium tears loadin...

3 Likes

Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by Eberex(m): 4:53pm On May 04
Better to call it off now than regret it for the rest of her life.

The guy is only getting married so that his public status would change and not because he is ready for marriage. He will eventually become aware of his responsiblities but who knows how long that would take or what he might have done to the poor lady?

Let her walk away. She is lucky to have discovered the kind of man she is getting married to.

3 Likes

Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by Saao(m): 4:54pm On May 04
Infrabetatech:
Where is the venue?

I want to eat wedding rice
just walk away, this is marriage not kid play. Walk away, again away if u can't cope.
Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by Dbarrzx: 4:54pm On May 04
If Mr. Right is not available in OP write up, kindly take Mr. Wrong to God for Editing. Pray over it.

1 Like

Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by OgbanjeProphet: 4:55pm On May 04
Walk away!

Avoid cheats like plague- be they men or women, boys or girls. They never repent.
Marriage is not a ticket to heaven.

5 Likes

Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by mofedamijo(m): 4:55pm On May 04
People make the simplest task complex. Cut the damn mirage off cause that is not marriage. I don't know why people can't walk away when they see danger..

In my few years on earth, one thing has been my paramount decider, "peace of mind" If something is going to affect my peace of mind and life..... I cut it off super fast, faster than a ferrari.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by Curious345: 4:56pm On May 04
Marry him ,get pregnant and file for divorce
Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by mmadu4: 4:56pm On May 04
this marriage of a thing is overrated seriously nothing special .

5 Likes

Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by spinna: 4:57pm On May 04
A broken engagement is no calamity.. run now
Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by Eriokanmi: 4:57pm On May 04
CSoul:
(Created this new account to post for a sister)



Please help advice a sister in confusion.....


Background:


"I reconnected with my old school toaster who always spoke marriage and love.
Got serious in 5 months.
I've met a lot of people from his end within this period.
He shows me off.
Introduction was done and wedding date fixed."

Issues:
Traditional is barely a week away; yet she's bleeding and scared of the future because of her discoveries:

1. The husband to be has anger issues. Ok, he's all nice and good when in good mood. But once something triggers him, all hell is let loose. The trigger can be a simple missing his call(while at work/meeting). No amount of sweet talk or explanations calms him down.

2. The shocker is that he cheats/has a fuckmate living nearby. She discovered this with evidence from their chats and hasn't been herself. The chat is detailed description of their exploits right up to the present and future plans how they'll continue after he's married. (From same chat, the other lady is aware he's getting married.
He tried denying it; when it didn't work he started making excuses/begging he'll change.

3. He doesn't want any third party intervention in their affairs, not even counseling.

She's scared of the future and yet feels stuck as court marriage is done already, most preparations have been done(publicity and most of other physical arrangements), both for the traditional and wedding.


Kindly give your mature advice; she'll be reading every bit of it.
(Admin kindly push to front page)
fake story. Why open new acct and post for a sister...she no get hands ni shocked?
Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by SKYHIGHfx: 4:57pm On May 04
Tell her to RUN
Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by Lagbaja88: 4:59pm On May 04
No matter our advice she go marry am

1 Like

Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by Shalommy(f): 4:59pm On May 04
Let her continue with the marriage and be prayerful. It's too late now.
Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by Beckham14: 4:59pm On May 04
MejiLoyon:
Drop his number and watch others snatch him away from you. Na him go say he no do again.
A very foolish advise from a dull nonentity.

5 Likes

Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by kwasoly(m): 4:59pm On May 04
[quote author=CSoul post=101302575](Created this new account to post for a sister)



Please help advice a sister in confusion.....


Background:


"I reconnected with my old school toaster who always spoke marriage and love.
Got serious in 5 months.
I've met a lot of people from his end within this period.
He shows me off.
Introduction was done and wedding date fixed."

Issues:
Traditional is barely a week away; yet she's bleeding and scared of the future because of her discoveries:

1. The husband to be has anger issues. Ok, he's all nice and good when in good mood. But once something triggers him, all hell is let loose. The trigger can be a simple missing his call(while at work/meeting). No amount of sweet talk or explanations calms him down.

2. The shocker is that he cheats/has a fuckmate living nearby. She discovered this with evidence from their chats and hasn't been herself. The chat is detailed description of their exploits right up to the present and future plans how they'll continue after he's married. (From same chat, the other lady is aware he's getting married.
He tried denying it; when it didn't work he started making excuses/begging he'll change.

3. He doesn't want any third party intervention in their affairs, not even counseling.

She's scared of the future and yet feels stuck as court marriage is done already, most preparations have been done(publicity and most of other physical arrangements), both for the traditional and wedding.


Kindly give your mature advice; she'll be reading every bit of it.
(Admin kindly push to front page)
[/quote)


My humble advice is does this ur so called husband to be have someone who he listens to or who calls him to order? If no Red flag if yes your safe.
Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by chrizzyace: 4:59pm On May 04
CSoul:
(Created this new account to post for a sister)



Please help advice a sister in confusion.....


Background:


"I reconnected with my old school toaster who always spoke marriage and love.
Got serious in 5 months.
I've met a lot of people from his end within this period.
He shows me off.
Introduction was done and wedding date fixed."

Issues:
Traditional is barely a week away; yet she's bleeding and scared of the future because of her discoveries:

1. The husband to be has anger issues. Ok, he's all nice and good when in good mood. But once something triggers him, all hell is let loose. The trigger can be a simple missing his call(while at work/meeting). No amount of sweet talk or explanations calms him down.

2. The shocker is that he cheats/has a fuckmate living nearby. She discovered this with evidence from their chats and hasn't been herself. The chat is detailed description of their exploits right up to the present and future plans how they'll continue after he's married. (From same chat, the other lady is aware he's getting married.
He tried denying it; when it didn't work he started making excuses/begging he'll change.

3. He doesn't want any third party intervention in their affairs, not even counseling.

She's scared of the future and yet feels stuck as court marriage is done already, most preparations have been done(publicity and most of other physical arrangements), both for the traditional and wedding.


Kindly give your mature advice; she'll be reading every bit of it.
(Admin kindly push to front page)


Its always difficult taking such decision to forgive him and hope he'll change. However, in most cases they don't, a cheat will way's be a cheat unless he makes the decision with himself to let go off such life ... I mean why in God's name would he do all the preparations for marriage and still have access to his sex mate... Its best they both go for counselling, before proceeding with marriage plans... at this moment if he wants the marriage to hold let him do whatever the wife to be wants ... else call everything off
Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by SodO9: 4:59pm On May 04
Run
Start running
Run as fast as your legs can take you
Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by CsRockefeller(m): 4:59pm On May 04
rita25:
take my advice and LEAVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.he will only get worse..believe me i know cos thats my story embarassed embarassed embarassed embarassed embarassed cry cry cry cry

Hmmmmmm, are you still with him?
Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by MARKone(m): 4:59pm On May 04
Didn't you notice all this things before going for the registry. All the things you listed there are all valid reason to call off any relationship/engagement. You really don't want to deal with someone that has anger issues, that is a kind of mental illness, for they can do and undo. It's a dicey situation, assuming you've not gone to court, it would have been easier to walk away, even at that, one with serious anger issue can come after you if you walk away. You done enter be say you don enter, just be careful.

1 Like

Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by Beckham14: 5:00pm On May 04
Shalommy:
Let her continue with the marriage and be prayerful. It's too late now.
It's never too late to avoid the "avoidable"

7 Likes

Re: One Week To My Wedding, I'm Lost by musicproducer: 5:00pm On May 04
if u are posting for a sister why not use ur account n tell us u posting for a sister undecided


anyway ur wahala no get bearing sorry

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