₦airaland Forum

If its me,one I ll not live lagos.two I ll not visit abuja.three if she wants to go to abuja she is own her own.anything that comes out of it be it good or bad.i don't want to have anything to do with it.also once is goes to Abuja I ll start planning my life afresh.i will not beg her nor ll I cry.

Tjra:
LONG STORY ALERT!!!


Good afternoon Nairaland.

God has been so good to my family this year and a particular blessing has been giving us sleepless night.

I work with a big organisation here in Lagos and currently earn about N600k. I used to work in the branch since my entry level days 6 years ago until I was able to runz the head office movement.

Ever since I join the HQ two years, my life has been at ease. No weekend duties, no sickening pressures from customers. I have been able to develop my self, complete the professional courses I abandoned and can rest well on weekends/public holidays.

The worklife balance now isn't only the advantage of working at the HQ. The career progression and rapid promotion crowns it all.

My spouse earns a little above N400k and we manage ourselves well. Our combined income isn't that much but we've been able to achieve a lot due to our mutual cooperation. She commits her resources 100% into our home. Some people see me as a "big man" outside, no knowing I am actually enjoying the reward of marrying a good wife.

My wife recently got a job very lucrative job. Salary is about N1.5M monthly. She was on the process for close to a year. You can imagine our joy when she was eventually given an offer. This job is a huge one for us as a family and will make life more sweet.

My pain now is the job is based at Abuja and that means she has to relocate there with our kids. Abuja is not where I can drive to considering the security situation of Nigeria. Also, it won't be wise to fly down every week (I also have hidden phobia for heights ) because of costs and other attendant risks.

I actually want us to live together as a family most especially because of our kids. Some Kids tend to be spoilt when raised almost alone their mothers. As a father, I want to jointly raise them with their mother and also instill discipline in them appropriately.

The only solution on sight is to ask my company for redeployment to a branch at Abuja. This I fear might return me back to "Egypt". I.e days of stunted growth, no promotions. In summary, I am scared of killing my career by myself.

My wife is okay with us visiting each other every month but I am vehemently against it.

Someone please help

you said it all my brother...

1) you said you will love to be with your family
2) you said you can ask your company for redeployment to Abuja branch
3)you said God has been so good to you guys
4) you guys have good salaries even if you still redeployment to Abuja.
So why dont you just move together with your wife, women can be funny sometimes when there husband is not with her, we are human beings ...las las we go say na devil work. But to avoid that please move with your family, family is first and money can follow thank God you guys are rich nah, una they chop

So my brother my advice is relocate with your wife to Abuja... no for one time leave your wife alone (guess you understood that part) and like you said you love to be with your family... don’t let the small differences of the salary money affect your home. Thank God you working in a Big organisation
Don’t even try to stay in Lagos and your wife lives in abuja for one week... distance relationship is not good at all... especially when you have kids to watch after and your wife needs your around . Go with her and I think what you need now is to first get the transfer done first before moving with your wife to abuja...

Tjra:
Thank you sir

I can NEVER resign. I only intend to seek a transfer to our Abuja branch. Branches are 'dead end' careerwise. Many would do almost anything to be in HQ.

First the unity of your family comes first and matters most to you, but finances is also important to you, equally the growth of your wife's career matters.

On this wise, I would say the onus lies on you to;

1. Have a plan of upgrading your family finances, that what your wife earns will not matter in the affairs of the home, and traveling may not be needed at her end to fend for the family. Do you have such plan, what's your strategy for implementing such plan and at what deadline? And how reliable is that plan? Will you require a back up plan for that?

Now if you have no such thing in place, it will be wickedness to block your wife's advancement and the cumulative benefits it will bring to the home.

2. Define a time your wife will spend in Abuja, say 2 years and in that time, both of you should have a plan in place on what needs to be in place, financially and career wise that will enable your family be together after that time.

Having said that, also schedule a time where proper visitation and family Union will be meaningful in terms of quality time, intimacy (sex wife your wife) and attention to your wife and kids, say once in two months, considering your current state of finances. Now spend time on data and schedule time for video calls everyday, even say for 30 minutes with your wife especially then your kids, I'll advice they stay with her while you stay alone, to really plan and execute a strategy that after two years either a business or a job unites your home, since coming to Abuja is a bullet to your career.

3. Let her decline the job for the sake of the family Union, but with that what's your plan to change the current state of finances in the home, just like I stated firstly?

4. Above all go to God and hear his counsel on this matter if you and your wife have a praying altar. God is not the author of confusion.

600k x 12 = 7.2 million naira per annum.

And you are here lamenting that you can't pay for a flight ticket to visit your wife and children every other month in abuja?

And even talking about renting a room self contain after they leave?

Why una dey dey ungrateful in life like this?

Wetin u wan use all the other money do abeg?

Do you know how much civil servants earn in this same Nigeria? Yet they are surviving fine.

God have mercy on you lot abeg. Very annoying.

sunylatsega:
pls... kindly learn a skill while still working at the headquarters that can give u a monthly return of over 1million naira.... There are legit skills and investment that can do that trust me..... Then u can later decide to leave your job, be in total control of your time and join your family in Abuja

Skills and Investments like what? Please hint me abeg.

Unrated900:
In your statement you said
You don’t want to fly because of the cost
You make 600k monthly as you claimed
So 35k shouldn’t be your problem.
Don’t be stingy.

My advise thus.
Firstly don’t let your wifey stays in Abuja alone
Because those yahoo boys might snatch her
Also if she is there,she would be enjoying her life going to bars and club hence loosing focus and concentrations,
Also she would end up meeting the lifeless man we have as president
Finally the lifeless man might snatch her away from
You.

Dear diary, today I read the writings of Satan.

Tjra:
LONG STORY ALERT!!!


Good afternoon Nairaland.

God has been so good to my family this year and a particular blessing has been giving us sleepless night.

I work with a big organisation here in Lagos and currently earn about N600k. I used to work in the branch since my entry level days 6 years ago until I was able to runz the head office movement.

Ever since I join the HQ two years, my life has been at ease. No weekend duties, no sickening pressures from customers. I have been able to develop my self, complete the professional courses I abandoned and can rest well on weekends/public holidays.

The worklife balance now isn't only the advantage of working at the HQ. The career progression and rapid promotion crowns it all.

My spouse earns a little above N400k and we manage ourselves well. Our combined income isn't that much but we've been able to achieve a lot due to our mutual cooperation. She commits her resources 100% into our home. Some people see me as a "big man" outside, no knowing I am actually enjoying the reward of marrying a good wife.

My wife recently got a job very lucrative job. Salary is about N1.5M monthly. She was on the process for close to a year. You can imagine our joy when she was eventually given an offer. This job is a huge one for us as a family and will make life more sweet.

My pain now is the job is based at Abuja and that means she has to relocate there with our kids. Abuja is not where I can drive to considering the security situation of Nigeria. Also, it won't be wise to fly down every week (I also have hidden phobia for heights ) because of costs and other attendant risks.

I actually want us to live together as a family most especially because of our kids. Some Kids tend to be spoilt when raised almost alone their mothers. As a father, I want to jointly raise them with their mother and also instill discipline in them appropriately.

The only solution on sight is to ask my company for redeployment to a branch at Abuja. This I fear might return me back to "Egypt". I.e days of stunted growth, no promotions. In summary, I am scared of killing my career by myself.

My wife is okay with us visiting each other every month but I am vehemently against it.

Someone please help

Congratulations for the upgrade of the family

Pls let your wife move to Abuja while you stay in Lagos because working in Lagos gives you all the time you need and weekend freedom

For every upgrade or promotion comes with greater challenges


If you know you can cope with the children, stay with them while she works, makes more money and you guys can develop things that you can do within this period since she commits her salary faithfully

Her new job may not give her the chance to run home affairs but the money will keep coming

She can be visiting you guys once in two weeks and when you are on leave, fix it during school holidays and travel with the children to spend it with her

Life itself comes with risk and challenges
Good Luck

Congratulations to you OP and your wife. Take the option of visit,it will be hard work and require a lot of commitment. Take 6months and weigh things before making any changes. I tap into your blessing for my family

Tjra:
LONG STORY ALERT!!!


Good afternoon Nairaland.

God has been so good to my family this year and a particular blessing has been giving us sleepless night.

I work with a big organisation here in Lagos and currently earn about N600k. I used to work in the branch since my entry level days 6 years ago until I was able to runz the head office movement.

Ever since I join the HQ two years, my life has been at ease. No weekend duties, no sickening pressures from customers. I have been able to develop my self, complete the professional courses I abandoned and can rest well on weekends/public holidays.

The worklife balance now isn't only the advantage of working at the HQ. The career progression and rapid promotion crowns it all.

My spouse earns a little above N400k and we manage ourselves well. Our combined income isn't that much but we've been able to achieve a lot due to our mutual cooperation. She commits her resources 100% into our home. Some people see me as a "big man" outside, no knowing I am actually enjoying the reward of marrying a good wife.

My wife recently got a job very lucrative job. Salary is about N1.5M monthly. She was on the process for close to a year. You can imagine our joy when she was eventually given an offer. This job is a huge one for us as a family and will make life more sweet.

My pain now is the job is based at Abuja and that means she has to relocate there with our kids. Abuja is not where I can drive to considering the security situation of Nigeria. Also, it won't be wise to fly down every week (I also have hidden phobia for heights ) because of costs and other attendant risks.

I actually want us to live together as a family most especially because of our kids. Some Kids tend to be spoilt when raised almost alone their mothers. As a father, I want to jointly raise them with their mother and also instill discipline in them appropriately.

The only solution on sight is to ask my company for redeployment to a branch at Abuja. This I fear might return me back to "Egypt". I.e days of stunted growth, no promotions. In summary, I am scared of killing my career by myself.

My wife is okay with us visiting each other every month but I am vehemently against it.

Someone please help

First of all,congrats to you and your family on the good news, we pray for blessing now e don come, we are now worried as to how to enjoy this blessing

My opinion,
1) Regarding your job, I'll advise you not to make any move to ask for a change or tranfer my reason being that your wife's job is contract, so you need to give it some time.

2) Regarding your wife, as one fellow mentioned earlier, I agree that you take a few days to travel with your family and help them settle in. Prior to this time however you need to make your findings about housing, schooling etc pls note it is very important for your family not too live too far from the office and the kids not far from the house..This will save your family a lot of stress, worry and help your wife give her best to both family and work.

3) Regarding the children, if your children already fear you more than their mum, trust me even when u re not there all she needs to do is say" I will tell your daddy " and the kids will behave themselves.

4) On the relationship btw you and your wife, I cant say much, but where trust,commitment and discipline exist, u can see her once in a month and she will always be that wonderful wife you married vice-versa.
One thing I beg you, pls do not take the love ,support and trust of your wife for granted , many friends will come to teach you how to be smartly irresponsible- it may be enjoyable while it lasts but will always end in tears ( broken home, multiple sex partners, addictions and most importantly you lose the true love of a good woman while chasing shadows) please be wary of such friends.

5) To the new income, my suggestion is that you dont be in a hurry to change cars, and other things " that will show that you havr arrived " remember this is temporary, I will advise you save a huge chunk of that money at least for a year -- My reasons are : if you maintain you current lifestyle nothing will change if her contract ends , rather you would have saved enough to take the next decision after 1 year.

Above all, pray to God for guidance, with more money comes more temptation. More importantly never forget where you started from and all that you have got must never distract you from your responsibility to your wife and kids.

God bless you!!

Where una dey see these fine jobs?

Yxxx:
Where una dey see these fine jobs?

Inside Rock

Let her go and visit once in a month.

You will plan to go Friday and come back Sunday evening.

Plan 2 to 3 Zoom or Watz app video calls per week with your family. Longer on Sundays

You will plan ur leave to be close to holiday such that with 5 days leave u can spend 2 weeks with ur family.

Your wife will plan hers too. As for height, sleep in the plane that is what I do for very long journey.

Don't limit ur family's growth for what is not and don't leave your job or alter your growth, she no send you.

You will miss your awesome woman no doubt,

Also move Ur properties to Abuja , reduce the cost of accomodation in Lagos, u can move into a room and parlour self contain here. Unless you are living in your own house.

Forget the Olodos underestimating the impact of extra 1,1M * 12 to your kids living a better life. They know nothing


With time you will see that the distance helps build the love too.

Tjra:
LONG STORY ALERT!!!


Good afternoon Nairaland.

God has been so good to my family this year and a particular blessing has been giving us sleepless night.

I work with a big organisation here in Lagos and currently earn about N600k. I used to work in the branch since my entry level days 6 years ago until I was able to runz the head office movement.

Ever since I join the HQ two years, my life has been at ease. No weekend duties, no sickening pressures from customers. I have been able to develop my self, complete the professional courses I abandoned and can rest well on weekends/public holidays.

The worklife balance now isn't only the advantage of working at the HQ. The career progression and rapid promotion crowns it all.

My spouse earns a little above N400k and we manage ourselves well. Our combined income isn't that much but we've been able to achieve a lot due to our mutual cooperation. She commits her resources 100% into our home. Some people see me as a "big man" outside, no knowing I am actually enjoying the reward of marrying a good wife.

My wife recently got a job very lucrative job. Salary is about N1.5M monthly. She was on the process for close to a year. You can imagine our joy when she was eventually given an offer. This job is a huge one for us as a family and will make life more sweet.

My pain now is the job is based at Abuja and that means she has to relocate there with our kids. Abuja is not where I can drive to considering the security situation of Nigeria. Also, it won't be wise to fly down every week (I also have hidden phobia for heights ) because of costs and other attendant risks.

I actually want us to live together as a family most especially because of our kids. Some Kids tend to be spoilt when raised almost alone their mothers. As a father, I want to jointly raise them with their mother and also instill discipline in them appropriately.

The only solution on sight is to ask my company for redeployment to a branch at Abuja. This I fear might return me back to "Egypt". I.e days of stunted growth, no promotions. In summary, I am scared of killing my career by myself.

My wife is okay with us visiting each other every month but I am vehemently against it.

Someone please help

Bros, everything is not about money. Been there done that. That 1.5m will be chicken change soon. It's not worth it. Comfort and security trumps money any day. You already have all your need at this moment. You are also working in a good environment with a lot of career prospects. And you are with your family. Focus more on that. Just because of any extra 1.1m you want to put all of this in jeopardy? If you do move to Abuja and push comes to shove, don't be surprised you may see yourself running back to Lagos where you may not be able to catch up with what you left behind. I repeat 1.5m is chicken change. You don't know until you start earning it.

Yeah I know it’s tough probably because both of you haven’t been apart since you got married. I have an honest question though; if this was an overseas job maybe Canada or US, will you stop her from going? There are certain sacrifices we need to make at some point in time in our lives. Pray & let God guide you.

My own advise is you should let your wife go to Abuja with the children, then you visit the monthly like your wife suggested.
Please don't take transfer to Abuja yet, u might need the transfer but not now.
Develop yourself at the HQ for 1-2yrs b4 u move in to Abuja to join your family, by then you would have gathered all the strength needed to withstand all odds.
My 2cent.

Tjra:
Thank you sir

I can NEVER resign. I only intend to seek a transfer to our Abuja branch. Branches are 'dead end' careerwise. Many would do almost anything to be in HQ.

Then stay at the HQ.
if both of you got married in the house of God, He will eventually make a way for your family to be together and still progress career-wise. Just pray and have faith in God.

Greetings to you, I was once in your shoes and my first call as to the kids was to sort unlimited Internet then deployed ip cameras that I was monitoring from overseas and my wife also monitors when she'sout and it's a two way where I can talk to them and hear them, and because I couldn'tafford the time of travelling, my wife did the international trip 5 times a Yr ( I enrolled her on frequent flyer program that soon she was getting biz class ticket for extra token ) which she loved , back to you now, get a decent airline and bulk buy tickets say 6 return legs ( overcomes that height phobia) then you move to a smaller house in lagos while you take them to settlein abuja ( you enjoya great home now cos you two are contributors but remember as the kids grow your 1m won'tbe enough so grab the offer now and increase your yam barn ( quick tip, pre sch for my children was 800k each per Yr, rent 2.5m, living cost average400k monthly,
vehicleinsurancecomprehensiveto avoid Englishin an accident, for a decentarea , this ismy quickquote and I hope you learn a trick or two.
Best of wishes

Tjra:
It's actually a tough one. Most especially because the kids are pre-schoolers. The eldest is 4 years.

They are a bit stubborn/mischievous and need some iron hand occasionally. Their mum is the soft type

Things seem easy a bit now because we splits bills for house rents, fuel, home maintenance etc.. now we have to run two two homes (I could get a self contained though).

Monthly return flight ticket cost a fortune though

Daddymiracle:
Inside Rock

Lol daddy miracle.
Connect me for the specific rock, as long it's legit I dey.

You need to be sincere to yourself by answering the following questions

1. What is the nature of your job?
2. What skills do you have?
3. How can your skills be applied to other jobs in your vicinity?
4. Can you quit your job today and get another one within 3 weeks?

If today, you guys are receiving such, you need to manage it well, it won't last in this country.
Just imagine, you cannot beat your chest to migrate to Abuja and get another job out of your present company and receive such within few weeks.

That's shows you don't have a job.

Hi Man , I understand this is a tough nut for you to crack. I will advise you stay with your family , anything that wants to keep you guys apart is really not the best . Of you do a proper cost and effect on this, you will discover at the end of the month what is coming into the family purse might still be the same . (Running two homes) . ! Try not to stay apart !

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Klass99:
You both have options;

1. She declines the new job and sticks with the 400k plus job.

2. You let her go to Abuja and you both visit each other like she suggested but that's not very cost effective, especially if you're running two homes and that 1.5M may not be so profitable at the end of the day.

3. Speak with your bosses and request a transfer to Abuja, so you stay together as a family where you can be actively involved in training your kids - women make sacrifices like these for their hubby's and hubby's career and for the sake of their families as a whole, why does it seem so hard for you men to do so for the same reasons women do?

400k + 600k income is not bad for one household, just make sure you don't increase the number of kids, because life is not going to be less expensive as we all grow older.

Modified to add: You're the head of your family, your final decision should prevail, but please dialogue with wifey do a pros and cons list together on all of your options. Think it through really well and run it by the Good Lord, then choose. The choice that floods your heart with peace will most likely be the best one for you all.

You comment has been really balanced & I am surprised. I was expecting the usual Nigerian men always want to undermine your wife bla bla bla . The reality of life is that careers will always come between husband & wife every time.

If you ask me, making more money is always better. Traveling to Abuja twice a month is very feasible. That's around 50k per month in flight fees if you book it way earlier.

It means those two days will serve as Intense knacking days for the man & wife lol. Since it's only twice a month. My worry is that this man may find himself looking for side chics in Lagos because this is what distance does to you. There is a gap that needs to be filled, I hope this man won't go that direction.

CountVersailles:
Bros, everything is not about money. Been there done that. That 1.5m will be chicken change soon. It's not worth it. Comfort and security trumps money any day. You already have all your need at this moment. You are also working in a good environment with a lot of career prospects. And you are with your family. Focus more on that. Just because of any extra 1.1m you want to put all of this in jeopardy? If you do move to Abuja and push comes to shove, don't be surprised you may see yourself running back to Lagos where you may not be able to catch up with what you left behind. I repeat 1.5m is chicken change. You don't know until you start earning it.

LMAO 1.5M isn't chicken change bro! I can tell you factually.

Nothing is tough here, baba.


I was in Ibadan, with my pregnant wife, when I got a job with a company and I was posted to the North.


Left my pregnant wife to manage our 4 years old business in Ibadan while I moved to the North.


My wife put to bed 6 weeks after I resumed work up North and I couldn't even attend the naming ceremony of my new baby.



I visited home (Ibadan) only once every month for 5 years.


Got another job with another company later and I was taken further up North but I still managed to visit home once in a month for another 2 years.



After 7 years sojourn in the North, I got another job that took me to Lagos.



Now, I visit home every weekend, the baby of that time is now 16 years old and the budding business I left with my wife then is now worth several millions of Naira.



My son is well- behaved, we are glad and very comfortable.


No sacrifice is too much for a loving couple to build a strong future for themselves and their children when they have the energy to do so.



NB: One thing that worked in my favour is that my wife is super FAITHFUL and LOYAL, up till now.


Won't advise any man who doubts the sincerity and faithfulness of his wife to take the decision I took at that time.



Good luck in whatever decision you take.








Also, note that it will take a big deal of effort on my part to convince my current supervisors that I want to leave them for Abuja.

They actually would be heartbroken because they almost always recommend me for promotion over the other guys I met in the new department.

Makes me feel like I am about to betray them but the truth for me is Family first over job/career for me.[/quote]

DO NOT LEAVE APART FROM YOUR WIFE AT THIS EARLY STAGE OF YOUR FAMILY!!! At best it should be temporary. So I suggest she either look for a place in Lagos that can give her something around that salary or you move to Abuja- I mean you also might be able to get an international NGO job there with time.

My advice is for you to allow your wife, stay back in Lagos,for example in the military you will see a personal leave his wife and children behind and he was posted to another state be4 u will see him it will take 2 or 3 months but urz u can still visit them every month.. forget abt height get used to it okay, don't betray them I take God beg u, if u go to Abuja Branch u won't see that opportunity to become der head o it will be difficult toh

Klass99:
You both have options;

1. She declines the new job and sticks with the 400k plus job.

2. You let her go to Abuja and you both visit each other like she suggested but that's not very cost effective, especially if you're running two homes and that 1.5M may not be so profitable at the end of the day.

3. Speak with your bosses and request a transfer to Abuja, so you stay together as a family where you can be actively involved in training your kids - women make sacrifices like these for their hubby's and hubby's career and for the sake of their families as a whole, why does it seem so hard for you men to do so for the same reasons women do?

400k + 600k income is not bad for one household, just make sure you don't increase the number of kids, because life is not going to be less expensive as we all grow older.

Modified to add: You're the head of your family, your final decision should prevail, but please dialogue with wifey do a pros and cons list together on all of your options. Think it through really well and run it by the Good Lord, then choose. The choice that floods your heart with peace will most likely be the best one for you all.

Option 3 is the best considering the op priorities. You can always find ways around late closing and weekends work.

You said sir , your wife is on contract, which implies her contract can end anytime, I'm against you seeking for transfer immediately, Allow your wife to go Abuja, did the company provide any accommodation for your wife in Abuja, if yes let her manage there for now, give it some time, get someone close within the family to help out in the house while your wife is away in Abuja, since her job is not a permanent one but contract. What if you seek for transfer to abuja and your wife contract is later terminated. Surely her contract will ends one day..

Tjra:
LONG STORY ALERT!!!


Good afternoon Nairaland.

God has been so good to my family this year and a particular blessing has been giving us sleepless night.

I work with a big organisation here in Lagos and currently earn about N600k. I used to work in the branch since my entry level days 6 years ago until I was able to runz the head office movement.

Ever since I join the HQ two years, my life has been at ease. No weekend duties, no sickening pressures from customers. I have been able to develop my self, complete the professional courses I abandoned and can rest well on weekends/public holidays.

The worklife balance now isn't only the advantage of working at the HQ. The career progression and rapid promotion crowns it all.

My spouse earns a little above N400k and we manage ourselves well. Our combined income isn't that much but we've been able to achieve a lot due to our mutual cooperation. She commits her resources 100% into our home. Some people see me as a "big man" outside, no knowing I am actually enjoying the reward of marrying a good wife.

My wife recently got a job very lucrative job. Salary is about N1.5M monthly. She was on the process for close to a year. You can imagine our joy when she was eventually given an offer. This job is a huge one for us as a family and will make life more sweet.

My pain now is the job is based at Abuja and that means she has to relocate there with our kids. Abuja is not where I can drive to considering the security situation of Nigeria. Also, it won't be wise to fly down every week (I also have hidden phobia for heights ) because of costs and other attendant risks.

I actually want us to live together as a family most especially because of our kids. Some Kids tend to be spoilt when raised almost alone their mothers. As a father, I want to jointly raise them with their mother and also instill discipline in them appropriately.

The only solution on sight is to ask my company for redeployment to a branch at Abuja. This I fear might return me back to "Egypt". I.e days of stunted growth, no promotions. In summary, I am scared of killing my career by myself.

My wife is okay with us visiting each other every month but I am vehemently against it.

Someone please help

You have to be really careful here, money is an advancer and it can also be a trap. If you are making this decision solely based on money you are on the highway to loosing everything. you need to look at your kids needs at the moment, does Abuja play a role in their growth and development? They are very young and impressionable, were children are raised plays a big role on how they turnout

Secondly what is the impact of the move on your wife's career? Is it just an opportunity or it aligns with her career goals? Is she going to be giving more time at this new place of work? What impact will it have on her raising a family? Would it require you stepping up as a partner and father? Your marriage is young, how will you both manage your sexual and emotional needs?
And lastly how doest it affect you?

You and your wife need to sit down and lay out many of these factors discussing and documenting your inferences.

Most importantly you folks need to pray about it, $24k a year increase can be a blessing or a trap, count the cost before making the decision.

Thank God for your family.. come and invest in Real Estate in Magboro, Arepo, Ofada, all in a serene and potential environment; along Lagos ibadan expressway..

Tjra:
LONG STORY ALERT!!!


Good afternoon Nairaland.

God has been so good to my family this year and a particular blessing has been giving us sleepless night.

I work with a big organisation here in Lagos and currently earn about N600k. I used to work in the branch since my entry level days 6 years ago until I was able to runz the head office movement.

Ever since I join the HQ two years, my life has been at ease. No weekend duties, no sickening pressures from customers. I have been able to develop my self, complete the professional courses I abandoned and can rest well on weekends/public holidays.

The worklife balance now isn't only the advantage of working at the HQ. The career progression and rapid promotion crowns it all.

My spouse earns a little above N400k and we manage ourselves well. Our combined income isn't that much but we've been able to achieve a lot due to our mutual cooperation. She commits her resources 100% into our home. Some people see me as a "big man" outside, no knowing I am actually enjoying the reward of marrying a good wife.

My wife recently got a job very lucrative job. Salary is about N1.5M monthly. She was on the process for close to a year. You can imagine our joy when she was eventually given an offer. This job is a huge one for us as a family and will make life more sweet.

My pain now is the job is based at Abuja and that means she has to relocate there with our kids. Abuja is not where I can drive to considering the security situation of Nigeria. Also, it won't be wise to fly down every week (I also have hidden phobia for heights ) because of costs and other attendant risks.

I actually want us to live together as a family most especially because of our kids. Some Kids tend to be spoilt when raised almost alone their mothers. As a father, I want to jointly raise them with their mother and also instill discipline in them appropriately.

The only solution on sight is to ask my company for redeployment to a branch at Abuja. This I fear might return me back to "Egypt". I.e days of stunted growth, no promotions. In summary, I am scared of killing my career by myself.

My wife is okay with us visiting each other every month but I am vehemently against it.

Someone please help